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Thread: Ten Reasons why Europa Universalis III is the worst game EVER

  1. #21
    Banned Iwanow's Avatar
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    In your place i would already invade england... but anyway bad move not taking breton provinces. You should annex them if you were able. And if not then take all their provinces you could.

  2. #22
    Mr. Fixit Slan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Iwanow View Post
    In your place i would already invade england... but anyway bad move not taking breton provinces. You should annex them if you were able. And if not then take all their provinces you could.
    I tried invading England, but they have like 40 Big Ships. They sunk my Cogs before I could get my soldiers on them...

    Anyway, don't take this personally, but I will probably ignore any tips/hints on what I should do and how, for two reasons:
    i) I will be usually quite a few years ahead of where the AAR is at the moment. Right now I'm at around 1455 in-game.
    ii) I don't intend to play competently at all. That would kinda defeat the whole point of this AAR, wouldn't it?
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  3. #23
    Ask how many Divisions I have! InnocentIII's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slan View Post
    I tried invading England, but they have like 40 Big Ships. They sunk my Cogs before I could get my soldiers on them...

    Anyway, don't take this personally, but I will probably ignore any tips/hints on what I should do and how, for two reasons:
    i) I will be usually quite a few years ahead of where the AAR is at the moment. Right now I'm at around 1455 in-game.
    ii) I don't intend to play competently at all. That would kinda defeat the whole point of this AAR, wouldn't it?
    You should annex the Sudetenland and hire some Dutchmen to set fire to Lord Snowden.
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  4. #24
    Mr. Fixit Slan's Avatar
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    Reason II
    This game looks lame.

    Issue Three



    Sitzkrieg. Or is it? The truce with Brittany is over, so now England can send their 12000 men sitting there into Normandie again. Then Brittany quickly offered a White Peace, which I accepted. I didn't really want to fight them anyway.



    Kick-ass Battle of Normandie. The only question is who's ass will be kicked?


    It turned out to be my ass. I would have lost twelve regiments from that battle, so I decided to take the easier way out: offered 25 gold to England, and they accepted. I lost tons of prestige again, and my Legitimacy also suffered a lot from losing the war. Peace, at last! Next time, I will need a more cunning plan. And some ships. I believe I will try to maintain peace for a bit now. And Burgundy thought it would be nice to insult me (presumably because I left them alone in their war). Thanks, guys, but I had a Conquest Casus Belli against you already! And we have Royal Ties, too, why would I take your Insult?... Just leave me alone, will you? And now you will embargo me, too? What the hell?!

    Alright, this can't go like that anymore. I will need to do something to increase my power, because -11 Prestige is not a good thing. Looking around, the most obvious candidate for some trouble is Provence. They have Naples as an ally (who has further allies of course), but I have Milan (who also has further allies). I DoW them with a Reconquest Casus Belli, bringing every one of my allies in right away, and hope for the best. Of course I forgot my armies in the wrong places, but that is quickly fixed, and of course Milan leaves me alone while none of Naples' allies do the same.

    Their combined armies are vastly superior to mine, but I'm far away from most of them. I'll try to weather this one out. I also accept an alliance offer from Switzerland. And another one from Brandenburg.

    I guess I will not be able to weather this out. Austria arrived with some 30000 men, through the Alps, like Hannibal, destryoing everything I had. Now this is bad... And by the way, my original plan wouldn't have worked anyway, because Provence was a minor member of a Personal Union, so they can't negotiate for peace in the first place! Time to send in my King as a General. And because of the stupid dice roll, an inferior army still kicks his royal bottom. But at least he did some damage before he was forced to withdraw... The game must be cheating. When I was playing England, France was undefeatable! Stupid game!



    Things are not looking good, are they?...


    What the AI is not good at is keeping its army strong. Maybe having my country cut in half also helped with that, but I could manage to destroy most of the Austrian forces in the North piecemeal as they were left behind to siege my provinces. Most of them didn't even fight because they were overrun. With most of Southern France lost, Austria started to send stupid Peace Offers I declined of course. King Charles VI de Valois is on his way to kick your buttocks!



    I lost the war already, didn't I?




    So this was the peace-offer I sent to Naples. They accepted.


    After such a humiliating defeat, I decided I need to start a war that I can actually win, so I declared on the recently un-vassalized Orleans. It costed me one point of Stability because of the good relations, but I can't let them actually leave my influence! I also had to do something about my -46 Prestige... I also sent a demand to Berry for them to be annexed peacefully, which they accepted. Another point of Stability lost, but that's one more province for me to rule! Yay. I did a step towards Centralization, another point of Stability lost. I'm a genius, ain't I... But at least my war against Orleans was an easy one (finally!), and I could annex them pretty quickly. With that, I was still at -27 Prestige though. Can I do anything about it without going into stupid wars again?

    Let's build some stuff now. I reached level 4 in Production Tech, so I can build Constables. It costs me 46 Gold, but should give +25% Tax, which would mean +2.5 gold in Ile-de-France. That sounds pretty good! I'll also employ Ramón Nunez de Balboa from Castille, who is an artist and will help me with improving my Stability. Anyway, back to my original point, just look at this map, isn't that ugly?!



    The map of France in 1411. Looks like a giant blue eel. With a hunchback.


    And when I started to regain my Stability, my beloved King decided that it's time to fall in battle against some dirty peasants. Smooth. He will be missed. His son, Louis XI is 10 years old, so he should get his throne in a few years, but in the meantime, let's hope nothing (really) bad will happen.



    But he was a good King!


    That Constable in Ile-de-France proved to be a worthy investment, increasing my annual income considerably. I'm planning on building more of these, the only question is where? The second highest tax income province is Orleanais, so I believe that will be the best candidate. So that's where I build the next one. It costs slightly more after my stupid King's death... Taking a look around England revealed that if only I could get past their massive fleet, I could ruin their whole country! If only...

    Anyway, in late 1413, Naples outright inherited Provence... That's not good! They are a strong nation and now have two landlocked provinces in my country, with my cores on them no less! I can't fight them direclty though, they are clearly stronger... But at least I can't lose the cores on those provinces because they have my culture. And I couldn't start a war with a Regent, even if I wanted to. And in March, 1414, I gain the ability to build Marketplaces! I will build them in the provinces that produce Wine, because that is a valuable commodity.

    With my Stability maxed out, it's time to sack good old Ramón Nunez. I only have artists and recruit advisors at the moment, and I can't really do anything with those, so I'll need to recruit some new people. But let's commission some paintings first! 52.50% Cultural Tradition should be enough for some really good advisor, shouldn't it? Like a briliant Philosopher! Xavier de Dampierre, level 3. Not bad, but let's try another one! Maximiliem de Lhéry. Level 3 as well. Jean de Vergennes. Level 3, too. I thought there's some randomness in this, but I was wrong. Whatever. I can sell these guys later on if I'm not mistaken

    In 1416, Louis XI fe Valois finally accended to the throne. Strangely enough, at the age of 16, he already has a son of 7. But at least the succession is safe now. Or at least it should be. Anyway, increasing my income is going nicely, with an annual income of 102.57, although my military maintenance is on the minimum right now. I hope not to go to war anytime soon though. By the way, I have no idea how these Centers of Trade work. I own one, but that only governs my own territory. (And not even all of that...) Genoa has one in Liguria, and it governs half of Europe. That certainly has something to do with them being a Merchant Republic, I don't know.

    Then on September 15th, 1418, France became the Papal Controller. That was rather unexpected...



    It gives quite a few bonuses, as you can see!
    Last edited by Slan; 16-10-2011 at 21:46.
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  5. #25
    The One and Only BBB BigBadBob's Avatar
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    Hehehe. Love the assertion of incoming victory, followed by a humiliating peace deal.
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    really nice AAR i will follow this!

  7. #27
    Major Michaelangelo's Avatar
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    Epic AAR. Your enemies obviously don't appreciate how awesome you are when arranging peace deals. Must be because the game is so awful.
    Hehe... giant blue eel with a hunchback.

  8. #28
    Mr. Fixit Slan's Avatar
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    Reason II
    This game looks lame.

    Issue Four



    And I missed the hint on load this time. If I happen to fail miserably in this game, then it will definitely be because I couldn't read this one hint. I looked around and there was noone I could Excommunicate except for Aragon, who was already Excommunicated once, and I didn't feel like picking on a three-provinces minor. They are dead meat for Castille anyway. Alright, let's move up the speed a bit, since nothing is happening right now.



    I beg your pardon?...


    So England DoWed me. This time I have eight allies, they have two. Here's the rundown:
    France: Alencon, Armagnac, Auvergne, Bourbonnais, Brandenburg, Lorraine, Savoy, Sicily. 15000 Cavalry, 47000 Infantry, 8 Big Ships, 12 Transports.
    England: Brittany, Portugal. 17000 Cavalry, 32000 Infantry, 28 Big Ships, 55 Transports.
    On paper, we are better, as long as we stay on the continent. Then Naples also DoWed me. Why?... And of course Austria is now also involved against me. How nice. Especially because I could destroy their armies while my allies went around to occupy their provinces and they were not that reluctant to accept a peace on my terms this time around!



    It's almost like France is acting as a united nation!


    I got 3 Infamy, which is less than 10% of the limit, so I don't really care. I got one of my cores back, and I didn't even start the war! I also gained some Prestige, but I'm still at -16. Oh, yeah, and that core I gained back is not the one currently infested by 13000 Orleanaise Nationalist Rebels either! Then Brittany offered a peace to me, giving Armor and 26 gold. Did I miss something? How come the AI is now offering stuff to me all of a sudden? Is that because I was alone in the war before and now I have lots of friends? Having friends seem to be a good idea in this game

    Still, I couldn't beat the English King on the battlefield with my simple General. I had to convert my Louis XI into a General as well. Meanwhile Sicily lost Malta and the Baleares (Malorca, Menorca, that stuff), and thus the war. And I move one step towards Land. And Orleans at long last broke away from Naples, so I promptly declared war on them before they could gather any allies. Destroying the Portugese army in Nice, Savoy helped a lot to further our cause. Now we can concentrate on England! It's also time to start using Longbowmen instead of Halbrediers! Sweeeet!

    In September, 1423, the joint forces of France, Auvergne and Bourbonnais defeated the 15000 strong English Army (two third of them were horsmen!), and with that, the hardest part was behind us. So let's commission another tapestry, shall we? Of course even with the English kicked out of Europe and with no way of them getting any of their land back, they won't give up anyway. Not even one province. They won't even accept a White Peace. Of course Portugal keeps bugging me with their bold demands. No, I won't pay you 115 gold for beating the crap out of you! Stop buzzing around! Then Burgundy declared war on England. Sorry, dudes, but I beat you to Calais already, and good luck getting accross the Channel! And that clever King of England Arthur the first of Lancaster decided he wants another royal spanking, and came attacking Anjou. Then retreated to neutral Britanny. But after some prodding, they came back, and didn't stop until Normandie, where they were destroyed completely. The King somehow still survived the battle though. They are still being completely unsensible, but at least they started to send me demands of gold. That's a start I guess.

    And in August, 1425, Portugal finally sent a white peace offer, which I accepted. Now you are alone, Mr. England! And with this, my war score jumped to 12%! Yay. England of course still wouldn't even accept a white peace, but whatever. They have 13.13% war exhaustion, while I didn't even enact war taxes. I can keep this up forever. And after another huge defeat in Aquitaine, the English started to send white peace offers. Which I declined for now. But at least they finally seem to be eager to end this war.

    "Royal Marriages are the key to peaceful expansion." Well, I do have quite a few of these, and in one occasion, it did help me eat some blue Berry, but I'm not yet sure how true this will prove in the long run. "A ">" in a siege represents a breach." You don't say. I thought it means that the province is defended by ducks... And I can have achievements again, or so says the interface. But I still didn't get the ones I should have, like annexing a vassal or taking an English province... Whatever.

    After some careful consideration, I came to the conclusion that I would need a rather cunning plan in order to do any actual harm to the English. Simply taking their continental holdings will never convince them to secede Aquitaine, and as it is right now, I won't be able to get over to them. I have a Naval Forcelimit of 10, which I already reached, and they have seven times as many Big ships alone. And they keep it in one huge fleet, too. There's no stacking penalty in this game?... This is the time my great King Louis XI de Valois choose to pass away, leaving the throne to Henri II de Valois. 7/6/8. My Kings have nice Diplomacy skills

    In March, 1428, the English managed to send all of their soldiers to their deaths. That brought them to 0% War Capacity of course, and it also brought up my score to 23%. With that, they were finally willing to accept seceding Gascogne if I left them get away with it. I also took 50 gold as compensation for my troubles. Scotland recognized the opportunity and backstabbed England. Portugal knew what to do: they left the stupid English rot in the trouble they brewed for themselves. Navarra also declared war on England, probably wanting to take Labourd. They are also - get this! - warning Castille! Hilarious. They will probably never get anywhere with that, but if they will, it's even better for me! Free casus belli! Aragon also jumped on the bandwagon, to retake the Baleares. They are the only one so far who actually has a reason to pick on England other than them being on the short end of the stick already. Anyway, the important thing is that I'm halfway towards my first mission!

    Then in September, 1428, I asked Auvergne reeeeally nicely if they wanted to be an integral part of France instead of a mere vassal. They accepted of course. Noone can withstand my charms That's another two core provinces restored, and with the pesky Auvergne core removed from, well, Auvergne, I move my National Focus to Maine. Nationalism in Languedoc is almost removed, so that should be safe now, and I need to work on removing those minor cores from the North as well. (Which of course costs me Magistrates, but I have an ample supply of these guys.)



    Well, France still looks like something Bruce Campbell would kill on sight, but we are slowly getting there!


    Now with the fresh gains I recieved, my Naval Forcelimit increased to 15. With that, I can almost challenge the Royal Navy! Tripple-yay... Navarra ended the war with England 5 golds richer. Smooth. Burgundy recieved Calais and 84 gold. They are getting way too strong for my tastes, having almost 50000 soldiers and 17 provinces. I have 20 probinces, but only 20000 men... Connacht, an ally of Scotland, got even more: release of Cronwall, Wales and Leinster and also 26 gold. That's very good news to me because this makes England smaller and smaller, meaning that the one province they own on the continent will be a much bigger part of their country, and they will be more eager to sign a peace even if I can only occupy that province. Scotland only managed to get themselves a White Peace. I wanted to ally with them, but I may think it through twice now.

    In 1431, my Royal Armada, the Escadre Bleue consits of 10 Carracks and 5 Cogs. The English still have some 34 Carracks though, so it is hardly impressive... But they are no longer my main concern anyway. Burgundy is. Thus I started building up my ground forces. I have time until 1449 to start a war against Burgundy, otherwise I will lose my cores they hold in Vlaanderen, Ghent and Antwerpen. And Antwerpen is a rich Center of Trade, so we wouldn't want that, now would we?
    Last edited by Slan; 16-10-2011 at 21:46.
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  9. #29
    Field Marshal Malurous's Avatar
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    Nice work getting some gains. That's how it tends to go with an England with continental holdings - they try to defend them furiously enough that they end up losing control of the island. The island can't be reached without either gamey military access tricks or a navy, but "wait without making peace" works well enough for acquiring the continental holdings.

    Also,

    Quote Originally Posted by Slan View Post
    "A ">" in a siege represents a breach." You don't say. I thought it means that the province is defended by ducks...
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  10. #30
    Ask how many Divisions I have! InnocentIII's Avatar
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    I thought "<" was ducks and ">" was geese.
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  11. #31
    Emperor Demi Moderator Marconius's Avatar
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    Well, France still looks like something Bruce Campbell would kill on sight, but we are slowly getting there!
    And now I'm imagining Ash pointing his shotgun at France, saying "swallow this!" and pulling the trigger... thanks for that mental image...

  12. #32
    Mr. Fixit Slan's Avatar
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    @Malurous: Well, yeah, the problem is that they had so little territory on my side of their wall that simply holding onto that lead nowhere... I needed an actual backstab by Scotsmen to actually gain a single province...

    @InnocentIII: Well, in my elementary school, they were both called duck-bill. (Alright, I couldn't really find the correct translation, it was called the bill of the duck.)

    @Marconius: My pleasure
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  13. #33
    Emperor of Outremer TheCheeseMaster's Avatar
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  14. #34
    Field Marshal Malurous's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Slan View Post
    @Malurous: Well, yeah, the problem is that they had so little territory on my side of their wall that simply holding onto that lead nowhere... I needed an actual backstab by Scotsmen to actually gain a single province...
    Yeah I know, that's the starting situation after all. I meant that something like that tends to always happen. Either that, or they stay strong enough to give you a constant stream of reinforcements to slaughter, which in turn eventually gives you enough warscore to stab hit and force a favorable peace.
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  15. #35
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  16. #36
    Mr. Fixit Slan's Avatar
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    Well, considering the high demand, here's another Issue!
    Sir NeoCore Slan, OLIR, beta of FtM, appointed judge of Alexspeed's Victoria 2 AAR Contest, Fan of the Week (22-11-2011) and I also play HoItCG.
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  17. #37
    Mr. Fixit Slan's Avatar
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    Reason II
    This game looks lame.

    Issue Five



    "A defeated army is at the risk of annihilation, especially if you can beat them at the province they are retreating into." I didn't need to be told that, I did it already multiple times! Why can't this stupid hint-system check what I already know and only bombard me with tips that are actually useful?! Upon loading up this time, Burgundy removed their embargo. It probably got stuck in the AI's head previously for whatever reason. I don't think they wanted to keep that embargo against me anyway. And the English made the mistake of taking a province from Aragon, giving me another province within reach to occupy!

    And thus I declare war on England in March, 1433. I still have my "Reconquest" Casus Belli, so it goes fairly easily. I also can call all my allies into the war automatically. The only one that doesn't heed my call is Brandemburg, but they are too far away for me to bother. Both Portugal and Sicily decides to go down with the English. They don't waste time, but they do waste some 13000 men on the shores of Normandy right away. I, on the other hand, use the opportunity to decimate the Sicilian Navy, the only one involved in the war that is smaller than mine. The Portugal Fleet comes to their rescue though, and captures one of my cogs. Also, my forces on the Balearas were defeated by some English peasants! Argh! I will need some reinforcements. And I can make one slider step, which is one point towards Quality, resulting in a "New commandant" event. Smooth. He's level 3 and I won't use him, but the other two would have been bad events. I also got a "Border Friction" Casus Belli against Brittany, which I definitely will be using sometime in the near future.

    For some reason, Portugal and England attacked Provence in Avignon multiple times. That in itself wouldn't be that strange, mind you, but they retreated into Savoy every time. Yet, I could find no evidence that they had any kind of treaty that would allow it. Isn't that cheating? Anyway, I asked Savoy if they would be so kind to let me through to finish off those pesky bugs, and they were reasonable enough to accept. They were at war already anyway, so I guess they didn't really mind me ravaging their lands, too. Meanwhile, Scotland was fighting Denmark, Norway, Baden and Lüneburg, and in these circumstances, they seemed much more eager to sign the Alliance I wanted to offer them. They are in a similar situation as I am in: they lack the navy to fight their arch-enemies. But in their case, it is a bit worse, because they don't have any ships at all. I can't send them any help either, but I guess if I called them into my little war against the English at the right moment, they could help me out a lot! But they still have their truce, so the time is not right. Yet.

    The Casus Belli against Brittany was only a temporary one, so I had to use it up quickly. I did so in January, 1435, with no actual units on their border, but they only had 3000 men anyway. Scotland dishonoured the Alliance right away (I shouldn't have called them... Stupid me.), and so did Lorraine and Avignon.

    Another interesting turn of events followed this: I got an alliance offer from Milan. Very nice! Or so I thought. They started a war of intervention against Austria. This in itself wouldn't have been so much of a problem by now, since Austria was pretty much gangbanged by everyone in the region, but they are allied to Savoy, which is on my very border! Then again, this might not be that much of a problem after all, since they basically have no armies to speak of. Meanwhile, Brittany offered a peace, but I want to annex them, so I declined. A bit later I took their last city, and annexed them for 12 Infamy. And 10 Prestige. That's when it occured to me that I can actually go and attack Portugal throuhg Castille! Which is important because it is the Portugese Navy that is keeping me from taking Sicily and the English islands in the Mediterranean!

    In early 1436, I got a random event, giving me the option of either gaining 2 Stability or 10 Prestige (plus +1 Diplomatic Skill for 6 years either way). Normally, I would go for the +2 Stability, but I already had 3 and after looking around, I couldn't find any way of losing two points that would make sense... I was considering changing my National Idea, but I decided that it wouldn't be a good Idea. I want those Press Gangs and I want the Grand Navy as well, because I want to beat England for good. I will need to wait for some twenty years for that though. Anyway, I chose the Prestige, bringing me to 50 Prestige. Not bad.

    Then, with my forces on the borders of Portugal proper, England started to show some sense again, and finally accepted my reasonable demands.



    I didn't ask for much, did I?


    With that done, my next mission is to 'Annex Bourbonnais'. Like I wouldn't have done it anyway. Alright now, who am I still fighting, again? Ah, yes. Austria. I didn't forget what you did last time, don't you worry. After taking care of the small potatoes, Austria was quite easy to subjugate as well. The only problem was that I was not the leader in this war, because I was called in by Milan. And Burgundy warned me not to do anything silly. And I also got an heir to the throne of Luxemburg.

    So, it was late 1437, and time was running out if I wanted to keep my cores in the Flemish areas of Northern Burgundy! In a little over a year, they will vanish, unless I start a war against Burgundy over them! Unfortunatelly, they have quite a few friends. They are allied with Milan (who already left me for them once if I'm not mistaken), Switzerland (fielding 9000 soldiers) and Brandenburg (who is also allied with me as well, but will probably support them anyway). They are also part of the empire, so Bohemia, the current emperor will most likely protect them. Bohemia and Burgundy have 110000 soldiers combined, and I can only have half of that, if I'm really dedicated. It would be much better if they attacked me instead... But how? I imposed an Embargo on them, maybe it will do the trick. They returned the favour, but didn't declare yet. Then I canceled the Military Access I had through their lands. Another option would have been to attack Lorraine, who dishonoured my Call to Arms, so I had a Casus Belli, but they are also part of the Empire. Wouldn't help me one bit. I secured a Royal Marriage with Bohemia, just in case.

    Alright. Whatever. I have to fight this war, even if I lose it. I won't lose those cores just yet. Scotland chickened out again, and Burgundy and Milan sided with them. Bavaria didn't intervene yet. That's good, without them, we have a chance to actually win! The strategy is to defeat the Burgundian armies piecemeal, then we can go for the provinces.

    The plan was working pretty well. I destroyed about half of the Burgundian forces in three major battles, while my vassals have started sieging their cities. During the battle of Ile-de-France, the die was rolling against me in almost every turn, but in the end, I came out victorious, killing another few thousand Burgundians. Unfortunatelly Switzerland and Milan made a combined invasion force in Southern France at the same time, and my other army was spanked, and had to retreat. So I lost some battles too, but I don't have to win them all, I only have to win the war! (That rhymed! Did you see that? ) In Charolais, I defeated 15000 Milanese soldiers, then in Dauphiné, I kicked Swiss butt. And after a series of several clashes, I defeated a 15000-strong Burgundese Army near Caux. They were bombarding me with White Peace offers by then of course. Strangely enough, Switzerland was sending outrageous demands even after losing almost their entire army... In a small naval battle at the Straits of Dover, we captured 2 Cogs from the Burgundese Navy.


    If you are interested in how the Issue of the 2nd French Reconquest of Calais went, that's one more Reason to come back next time!
    Last edited by Slan; 16-10-2011 at 21:47.
    Sir NeoCore Slan, OLIR, beta of FtM, appointed judge of Alexspeed's Victoria 2 AAR Contest, Fan of the Week (22-11-2011) and I also play HoItCG.
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  18. #38
    Field Marshal Malurous's Avatar
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    Nice gains. Good to see the mission completed, and this war seems to be going really well so far.
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  19. #39
    Mr. Fixit Slan's Avatar
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    According to the views, the popularity of this AAR is surprisingly high, despite the lack of responses. So here comes a new Issue for your enjoyment!
    Sir NeoCore Slan, OLIR, beta of FtM, appointed judge of Alexspeed's Victoria 2 AAR Contest, Fan of the Week (22-11-2011) and I also play HoItCG.
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  20. #40
    Mr. Fixit Slan's Avatar
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    Reason III
    This game is too hard.

    Issue Six



    I mean really. Should it take fifty years for France to get where I am now? I thought not.

    We left off last time, I was at war with Burgundy, but they were mostly beaten already, and so was Switzerland and Milan. Brandenburg still sends me the occasional "End the vassalisation of Alencon" bullcrap they have so much of at home, but I couldn't care less. Unfortunately I can't vassalize Switzerland, because that would take 104% War Score. (Actually, that is a fix compared to Victoria, where I could vassalize the British Empire...) So they will get away easily this time: they shall annul all their treaties with everyone, and give me their 50 gold. No provinces change hands because I already have 12 Infamy, and I will get more from Burgundy soon. That's 9.5 Prestige. Milan will have to annul their treaties with Burgundy, Tuscany and Brandenburg and release Oldenburg and Pisa. That's 5 more Prestige. Burgundy had the sharp end of the stick:



    They had it coming! With that, I have 94 Prestige, getting me ahead of the Golden Horde!


    With that gain, I had the opportunity to adopt the Imperial administration. I had to look that up in the manual (or more precisely, the game files), because I had absolutely no idea what that did... After some consideration, I decided to go for it. My current Feudal Monarchy gives some manpower (which I don't need), some more land units (which I don't need) and 0.5 Magistrates per year. The Imperial government gives 0.6 Magistrates and a Land Morale bonus, which sounds much more useful for my Quality Army. The policy restrictions are less appealing by one point, but that doesn't really bother me, because they are much better in another field. And I should be able to regain my +3 Stability relatively quickly now that I'm not at war.

    In late 1440, I gained Flemish as a tolerated culture. I have no idea how that works, I just randomly got that like an event, but it was not an event, I'm sure. Anyway, that is good news, since it will allow me to harness my new gains in Antwerpen, Ghent and Vlaanderen to their full potential. By the way, I couldn't help but notice that Burgundy didn't really go to great lengths to improve the buildings around here. Or were they destroyed in the war? I don't know.

    Turns out, taking land from the Holy Roman Empire was not the best idea. Now they got an event to claim Barrois back. The province itself is not really that imporant and not even a core, so I let it go. I'll take it back when I'm strong enough to defy the entire HRE. Bohemia gets the land and I get 5 Prestige. After that came a relatively peaceful few years, with the occasional revolt in former Brittany and an event giving me a core in Artois. This is just the thing I wanted to attack Burgundy again in a few years!



    I will come back for that later.


    "You can click on a slider to lock its position." Well, most of the sliders are locked in their position and I can only change them once in every decade, so thanks for nothing. "Technology tooltips now show what the next level will unlock." Nice. Can't imagine how useful they were before...

    After my successful war against the evil Burgundy, all their armies were destroyed. Sucks to be them now, especially with 7000 Peasants sieging a province next to their capital.

    Anyway, back to our current arch-nemesis: England! They still have their Wooden Wall, but now I can have 31 ships, and they are dirt-cheap to maintaine, so I will build some more in the next few years. And the stupid Pope Excommunicated Pisa, which is my Ally since I made them be released by Milan not that long ago. In such a defensive war, I'm supposed to help them out. The attacker is Venice, allied with Transylvania, a one province minor at the moment, and at war with Sicily, Savoy, Naples, Milan, Aquileia and Bohemia already. Stupid move I would say. And I also took leadership in this war, which is quite nice! Alright then, let's kick some Venetian bottoms!



    It sucks to be Venice right now, too.


    A month later Tirol joined the fun, only on the wrong side. Their loss. Then Ragusa thought it would be a briliant idea to join, too. Are they stupid or what? Tirol was very easy to subjugate, they accepted Forced Vassalisation after taking one of their two provinces. 3 Infamy, but another Vassal in the Empire! Transylvania was a bit more problematic, considering their distance. I had to march through Tirol, Bavaria, Bohemia and Hungary to get there. Meanwhile Milan peaced out, asking for Albania to be released.

    Then I realized that my new protege, Tirol was at war with both Hungary and Bavaria! What a twist! I canceled the Military Access I had in both immediately, hoping for a Call to Arms, after I sent an Alliance offer to Tirol. That didn't come, and I didn't really want to risk getting into a war against the current Emperor Bohemia by declaring war on either of them. To reduce the clutter, I decided to end the war that Venice started with a relatively harsh peace: they were to pay me 50 bucks, revoke their cores in Albania, release Montenegro and Crete. I also decided to pretty much give up on Tirol. I didn't really want them anyway. But then suddenly I was called into that war automatically. Strange. I crushed the Bavarian forces with ease, and after taking Munich, they accepted to revoke their claims on Tirol. Problem solved!

    In the meantime, Burgundy managed to get completely screwed, with half of its territory being occupied by rebels, and Bohemia reached the levels of being Dishonourable Scum, giving a Casus Belli against them for everyone. I unfortunatelly have a Royal Marriage with them though, and they are too strong for me anyway, but they will probably be brought down soon. I hope. And while we are waiting for that, let's fund some more revolts in Burgundy, shall we?



    I hope I will get something out of those revolts!


    Now, back to that fleet-building project! I will need some Docks for that! Not that it actually helps or anything, but still. And it increases production by 10%, which sounds nice. So let's check which coastal province has the most production! And the winner is Antwerpen, with 19.34 points of Production. The province next to it, Vlaanderen, also has 19.34 points of Production. Both of them are cores of France already, so I can build ships there. So I build Docks in both.

    In September, 1443, Burgundy has broken under the enormous pressure, releasing Flanders and Hainaut. Good thing, because I have cores in Hainaut, so I can start a nice little war against them! That might bring in Bohemia against me though, and they have more than twice as many soldiers as I do. But they are Dishonourable Scum, spread out all over the place, so I may still be able to get them before they get me! Let's do this!



    It is sort of like a World War, is it not?


    The strategy is similar to before: take their armies down one by one, while they are invading. And yes, my gamble does seem to work out: a few days after my war with Bohemia starts, the Teutonic Order and Utrecht declares war on the Dishonourable Scum, and a few others joined the fun later on. In the first four battles, I defeated and completely wiped out two Bohemian armies of 15000 Soldiers each, one Hainautian Army of 6000 Soldiers and another minor Bohemian Army of 1000 Soldiers. Good! Meanwhile, my vassals are sieging the cities of the enemy. Liege was relatively easy. They are Wallonian, which is in my Culture group, so I decided they will be annexed. Down you go! Man, I will have to lay down for a while after this war, I'm afraid... Hainaut accepted to give me my core and 175 bucks for my efforts at making them kneel. And with their buddies removed from the equation, Bohemia was also willing to part with Bar, their cores on Ratibor and 100 bucks.

    Now, with that, I gained a lot of cash. And right now the best investment is to Support the Florentine School, which will give me ten years of epic goodness, with Prestige, Cultural Tradition and a loss of Infamy! At a steep cost, mind you, but I can afford that. And I will commission a new Tapestry soon! And now, back to building more ships! Wait a minute... England lost their ships?! How? When? What the... Probably in their war with Castille, I guess.

    It's time to move the sliders! (Which are usually locked in place, even without right-clicking them.) I move one point towards Centralization, hoping for a Local Pretender to rise, because that would be pretty easy to deal with right now. Much easier than losing a point of Stability... And the lucky guy I am, I get a Local Pretender in Calais! With only 6000 men! Nice! In the meantime, I remove Namur, then Liége from the Holy Roman Empire. I don't want them to be in there. And after that, a period of peace and calm comes in the life of France.

    And by peace and calm, I mean an event about some Nobles in Namur messing with politics. But actually, their offer to reform the society sounds pretty good: two points towards Aristocracy (I'm already at -4) and two points towards Serfdom (I'm at +3, which is two points beyond the supposed limit). I would take that over one point towards Decentralization anytime, and 13 Regiments of rebels in Namur are not that tempting either. Aside from that, Normandie turned into Cosmopolitaine. Isn't that a cocktail? And I also noticed a very nice-looking Cultural Decision: Byzantine Refugees! It gives 5% discount to Technology cost in addition to +2 yearly Cultural Tradition. Sounds good! Problem is, it requires 5 Diplomats and 3 Magistrates! That will take two years! Oh, whatever. And I also got a level 6 Statesman, Joseph de Richemont! He is much better than my current level 3 philosopher who I don't need anyway with my 94 Prestige! Awesome! I will reach Government level 9 in 1450!

    Still during this peaceful period, I got an event about an 'Agricultural Revolution' in Ilé-de-France. Apparently, even the crops are revolting against my rule because of my Infamy! Anyway, I could either turn this into a biological weapon, giving me manpower or into an eco-biological one, giving me tax. I'll take the cash, thank you very much! Yeah, and by the way, my current mission is to annex Bourbonnais, so let's try to do that now! And they accept! Wonderful! That's one point of Stability lost, but a nice province gained, along with ten points of Prestige: five for the annexation, five for the mission. And fulfilling the mission also gives me back my Stability point! Groovy! So, what's the next mission?



    Italian Ambition? Is that some sort of genital disease?


    So, Italy, huh? That includes Sardinia and Sicily, even Malta, but of course excludes Corsica. And I have no Casus Belli against any of the Italians. Well, I guess I won't do anything about this just yet. Maybe when the opportunity presents itself. And it didn't really take that long for that: I recieved a Casus Belli against England. A "Violated Sphere of Influence" Casus Belli. I have absolutely no idea where that one came from, as they are not at war with any of the nations under my wing, must be a bug. Wouldn't surprise me in this game! Oh, whatever. The point is that I will now take Malta!
    Last edited by Slan; 16-10-2011 at 21:52.
    Sir NeoCore Slan, OLIR, beta of FtM, appointed judge of Alexspeed's Victoria 2 AAR Contest, Fan of the Week (22-11-2011) and I also play HoItCG.
    The Historical Plausibility Project 1.0.4 for HoI3, 2.0 for HoI3 - Semper Fi and 2.7 for FtM

    My latest work from my Ink Well (which is post #200 in the Ink Well thread):
    Hitler's gamble - An alternative German Strategy (Vanilla HoI3 - Semper Fi 2.03c) finished
    Ten Reasons why Europa Universalis III is the worst game EVER (Vanilla EU3 - Divine Wind) finished
    The New Adventures of the United Nations... in Space - A Space Empires V AAR canceled after Season I

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