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Thread: The Sleeper

  1. #61
    Editor-in-Chief AllmyJames's Avatar
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    Comet sighted?
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  2. #62
    Detective Lt., Police Squad Eams's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by AllmyJames View Post
    Comet sighted?
    That, or Iain's writing an EUIII AAR with some seriously supernatural undertones. What would an Old One's regimental stats be?

    Either way, a great new update.
    Last edited by Eams; 20-04-2011 at 18:18.
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  3. #63
    Quote Originally Posted by Iain Wilson View Post
    Kendra Sisko [...] the winter palace [...]
    Place yells Russia, though didn't the Chinese Emperors also have a Winter Palace in the sputhern Capital Nanjing?

    However, winter palace is not capitalised, so that designation is not the buildings name but utility. So which nations habitually moved court in winter? (Those that moved in summer, had summer palaces?) Another problem is the name.. seriously un-Russian....

    The other clue is the quake of course, fault lines and famous quakes ahoy!

    In other words, I too have no clue...

    but I don't think the game has started, and the comet/alien/star of bethlehem has got to be time traveler! Tardis anyone?
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  4. #64
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  5. #65
    Deadpan Snarker Johan11's Avatar
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    What the heck?

    Dude?

    I missed the second chapter at first, so that made it even more confusing, but now I read it.

    Right. I know who this Jeremiah and Robert, that this John was talking about in first chapter. I know who they are. I have placed first and last names to both of them.
    But the rest? No. Julia? Who is she? The lady of the city? Wait, what? The other girl mentioned that couldn't be trusted in chapter one? I can't even remember her name!

    And now you include yet another character, make yet another weird happenning, and we still don't even know where we are, what's ahppenning etc.

    You're getting even more psychedelic than Range at his best!

    ...Keep it up.
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  6. #66
    Major Serek000's Avatar
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    It's like if Kafka was to write an AAR - good stuff. I've given up trying to guess the country - too many possibilities!

  7. #67
    Deadpan Snarker Johan11's Avatar
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    And on the location issue, aside from the names I'm gonna have to go with eastern Poland, somewhere near Bialystok, or perhaps western Blearus, in the near vicinity of Grodno and Gomel.
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  8. #68
    Sergeant Cunobelinus54's Avatar
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    I like the approach you're going with for this AAR, mysterious but tantalizing and I sense some sci-fi elements in this one. It's the kind of AAR where I just know you'll spring some kind of cliff-hanger on us in the future on a regular basis.
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  9. #69
    Remember Carcosa! Fiftypence's Avatar
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    Brilliant!

    ...I have absolutely no idea what's going on.

  10. #70
    The Avatar of Time 4th Dimension's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Fiftypence View Post
    ...I have absolutely no idea what's going on.
    And isn't it great?!??!?!?!
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    this is the most sacred of man's duties!
    Bishop Danilo - The Mountain Wreath

  11. #71
    Deadpan Snarker Johan11's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by 4th Dimension View Post
    And isn't it great?!??!?!?!
    Absolutely fabulous!
    I was fan of the week: 9/28/09

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  12. #72
    Patron Saint of Suenik Iain Wilson's Avatar
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    Apologies about the delay in posting this - real life has been very, very hectic.

    Quote Originally Posted by AllmyJames View Post
    Wha? No closer to making any guesses - looks like I'm going to have to give up trying to guess where and when we are, and just enjoy the plot twists for what they are!
    Well, you're more than welcome to do so. Sit back and enjoy the confusion

    Quote Originally Posted by morningSIDEr View Post
    Great writing but it is causing me great confusion! I too think I will have to throw in the towel for now, I have no idea what country this is set in but I am eager to find that out and also to uncover what the devil has prompted this seeming apocalypse!
    More clues will follow shortly!

    Quote Originally Posted by Najs View Post
    That star seems suspiciously similar to a flare of some sort. Confusion-meter is still rising.
    It may need recalibrating at some point in the future

    Quote Originally Posted by randakar View Post
    Of course it's confusing. So far we've had 3 parts and all three introduce new pieces of the story - new storylines, even. Until these storylines meet there is no telling up from down.

    Also - what kind of cataclysmic event in EU3 would match the events described in this post? I certainly can think of none .. or is this EU3 with a mod that adds earthquakes and vulcanic eruptions?


    .. not to mention alien incursions. Is that star a UFO or just some vehicle from the future?
    Or something else entirely?
    Reader speculation is one of the parts of writing an AAR that I love the most! Keep the conjecture coming!

    Quote Originally Posted by Boris ze Spider View Post
    I can't even think of what he could be playing, maybe multiple countries.
    ...and the guesses keep on coming

    Don't worry yourself too much about it though - the story's the main thing, and it should all unfold elegantly, like a beautiful flower greeting the dawn.

    *coughs*

    Quote Originally Posted by AllmyJames View Post
    Comet sighted?
    I'm not going to say if this is correct or not, but what I WILL say is that this particular event MAY have inspired some of this AAR.

    Quote Originally Posted by Eams View Post
    That, or Iain's writing an EUIII AAR with some seriously supernatural undertones. What would an Old One's regimental stats be?

    Either way, a great new update.
    Thank you. Those of you who were at the BAAR may have recalled that someone did suggest to me an AAR with a supernatural bent...

    Quote Originally Posted by -MoRiDin- View Post
    Place yells Russia, though didn't the Chinese Emperors also have a Winter Palace in the sputhern Capital Nanjing?

    However, winter palace is not capitalised, so that designation is not the buildings name but utility. So which nations habitually moved court in winter? (Those that moved in summer, had summer palaces?) Another problem is the name.. seriously un-Russian....

    The other clue is the quake of course, fault lines and famous quakes ahoy!

    In other words, I too have no clue...

    but I don't think the game has started, and the comet/alien/star of bethlehem has got to be time traveler! Tardis anyone?
    All good guesses

    Quote Originally Posted by 4th Dimension View Post
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    Well, it's only three updates in...

    Quote Originally Posted by Johan11 View Post
    What the heck?

    Dude?

    I missed the second chapter at first, so that made it even more confusing, but now I read it.

    Right. I know who this Jeremiah and Robert, that this John was talking about in first chapter. I know who they are. I have placed first and last names to both of them.
    But the rest? No. Julia? Who is she? The lady of the city? Wait, what? The other girl mentioned that couldn't be trusted in chapter one? I can't even remember her name!

    And now you include yet another character, make yet another weird happenning, and we still don't even know where we are, what's ahppenning etc.

    You're getting even more psychedelic than Range at his best!

    ...Keep it up.
    I shall endeavour to so!

    Quote Originally Posted by Serek000 View Post
    It's like if Kafka was to write an AAR - good stuff. I've given up trying to guess the country - too many possibilities!
    Given that I like Kafka I'll take that as a compliment good sir!

    Quote Originally Posted by Johan11 View Post
    And on the location issue, aside from the names I'm gonna have to go with eastern Poland, somewhere near Bialystok, or perhaps western Blearus, in the near vicinity of Grodno and Gomel.
    Yeah, the names are a real pig, aren't they?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cunobelinus54 View Post
    I like the approach you're going with for this AAR, mysterious but tantalizing and I sense some sci-fi elements in this one. It's the kind of AAR where I just know you'll spring some kind of cliff-hanger on us in the future on a regular basis.
    That's the intention - I love AARs with cliffhangers, and you should always keep your audience asking for more.

    Quote Originally Posted by Fiftypence View Post
    Brilliant!

    ...I have absolutely no idea what's going on.
    Thank you!

    And thank you to all of you for your continued support and readership. Your comments are VERY much appreciated (and a big thank you to those of you who voted for this tale at the ACAs - that was a VERY pleasant surprise!).

    On a different and slightly beggy note could I implore those of you who haven't already done so to take a wee look at my Oranjes AAR in the Victoria forum. For those of you who aren't familiar with Victoria don't worry - you need NO knowledge of that game to enjoy the AAR.

    Normally I wouldn't cross post like this, but the Victoria forum is dead these days, and I would really like some new readers. For me as a writer, one of the most useful aspects of these forums is the feedback you can get (positive or otherwise!) but when there's virtually no new traffic in the Vicky forums the chances of getting new blood viewing your AAR (and hence no new points of view) is next to zero!

    Thanks!

    And now back to our regular programming!
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  13. #73
    Patron Saint of Suenik Iain Wilson's Avatar
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    THE SLEEPER - PART 4


    The Corn Exchange was a three storey stone structure, with a wooden gabled roof and a grand set of double doors which were emblazoned with the town's coat of arms, flanked by pilasters and dominated by a grand tympanum that featured intricately carved scenes of townspeople labouring furiously. The interior was far less showy - with a simple wooden floor, whose stark surface was broken up by the occasional burst of colour from threadbare rugs. A rickety looking staircase with a highly polished banister wound its way upwards, past the first storey chambers and up to the offices and storage rooms that made up the entirety of the second floor. John and Jeremiah stood outside one of the many doors that lined the third storey corridor, catching their breath after their quick sprint upstairs.

    "I am getting far too old for this" panted Jeremiah. His face was flushed and his forehead slick with sweat. "But you? You're hardly out of breath!"

    He undid his tunic, mimed fanning himself and pointed at the door.

    "So remind me again, how we get him down?"

    John, ran a hand nervously through his hair.

    "Your guess is as good as mine. Let's be honest, neither of us have ever dealt with anything like this before."

    Jeremiah nodded, straightened up and rolled his eyes.

    "You're telling me - my expertise extends to breaking up fights between drunken farmers and occasionally hunting down brigands that have taken to disturbing the citizenry of this fine town. It does not include reigning in crazy noblemen who have decided to throw themselves from public buildings!"

    "How do you know he's a noble?"

    "Lady Breznak - may she guide and protect us - would not take such a personal interest in our affairs unless it was to help out a friend, and you can bet that the only people she associates with are other nobs."

    John shook his head.

    "You need to be careful with what you say, Jeremiah. Regardless of what you might think, Lady Breznak is good for us and good for the militia. If it wasn't for her patronage we wouldn't have half the resources that we're fortunate enough to enjoy today."

    "Nor would we find ourselves wasting our time with errands like this! Seriously John, the only difference between us and those servants that she keeps in that big house of hers is that they sleep in nicer accommodation and eat richer food!"

    Turning back to the door, Jeremiah grasped the handle.

    "Anyway; shall we?"

    He paused and looked wistful, a wry grin creasing his face.

    "I wish I had decided to be a farmer like my father. Sucks that Im a second son. Chickens and goats - you can't go wrong with them, can you?"

    "They're stinking, stubborn animals with a distinct lack of self-control or common sense, so yes; I guess you'd feel right at home with them."

    Jeremiah sneered and threw the door open.

    The room had clearly once been an administration office but now lay in a state of disarray. A cheap wooden bookshelf, groaning under the weight of heavily stuffed ledgers, stood against one of the bare stone walls, while the other was adorned with a faded fabric map of the town and its surroundings, each house, farm and business picked out by fastidious needle work. It hung miserably in two pieces, having been torn savagely down the middle, and occasionally one section would flap pathetically in the breeze that blew through the large, iron-framed window which had been thrown wide open. The rich, red rug that covered the wooden floor was crumpled and torn; its once smooth surface now a mass of undulating, carpeted hillocks, making the whole floor appear like a miniature, three dimensional map of some blood-red alien landscape. The source of this disruption was the room's heavy, oaken desk that appeared to have been unceremoniously dragged from one end of the room to the other, and which now stood flush underneath the window. A chair lay in the corner of the room like a fallen warrior, one leg broken and its cushion hanging from the frame by a clutch of scarlet threads.

    Jeremiah flicked a thumb at the window.

    "I'm guessing our man went out there."

    John nodded.

    "When we get up there I want you to hang back."

    "Wanting the glory for ourself are we?"

    "No. But consider for a moment that he might get panicked by both of us bearing down on him."

    "So why do you need me up there? If it's all the same to you I'd rather wait in this cosy office than clamber up onto some shaky wooden roof two floors up."

    John pointed at the window.

    "I need you up there in case he decides to do something crazy like throw me off the roof."

    Jeremiah grinned wickedly.

    "Yeah, but if you plummeted to your doom wouldn't that mean that I'd get a promotion?"

    "Not if you carried on with your dismissive attitude towards Lady Breznak you wouldn't!"

    John swept the remaining papers, bottles and books from the table and clumsily climbed onto it. His boots marred the polished surface of the desk, and its legs creaked slightly as he started to haul himself through the window and onto the narrow ledge.

    "Sounds like you're carrying some extra weight there, John", Jeremiah laughed.

    "Shut up. Get out here now; I need you to get ready in case he gets violent."

    "Why would he get violent?"

    "I don't know, do I?" John growled. "Just like I don't know why he climbed up on this roof, or why Lady Breznak is so concerned about his well being. However, I'm willing to bet that the sort of man who downs his daily routine and decides to consider jumping from one of the highest points in town is just the sort of person who might do something crazy like trying to push the captain of the militia off the roof. So get out here now!"

    With a barely suppressed grumble, Jeremiah pulled himself onto the ledge. He foolishly risked a glance down and immediately regretted it, fumbling for the frame of the window as he turned away from the dizzying vista. A sudden gust of wind caused both men to wobble and clutch at the wall for support, and when Jeremiah spoke next all trace of humour was gone from his voice.

    "John, this is really bloody high."

    John, halfway through pulling himself up onto the wooden, gabled roof nodded painfully.

    "Yes it is. Can you unhook my sword belt, it's not making this any easier. I think..."

    "John - look out!"

    Jeremiah's sudden panicked shout caused John to instinctively drop back down onto the ledge. Standing over him was the man from the rooftop, dressed in the shabby garb of a down-at-heel tradesman. His bloodshot eyes had a distant, far away look in them and his right held a dagger. The wind blew again, and from behind Jeremiah there was a loud snapping sound as the window to the Corn Exchange slammed shut.
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  14. #74
    Field Marshal loki100's Avatar
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    well, its definitely exciting ... and I'm still utterly clueless (ok maybe I should stop the sentence there?) as to where you're taking us with this ...

  15. #75
    Only human Najs's Avatar
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    Ohh, excitement meter rising!
    Gone underground.

  16. #76
    Patron Saint of Suenik Iain Wilson's Avatar
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    Oh, and one other thing that I meant to ask (while I'm on a roll about feedback) is to implore you all to take a look at the "Guess the Author" thread in the main area (look, I even linked it for you!).

    This is a brilliant initiative to allow authors to get double-blind feedback which is invaluable in helping you develop as a writer!

    So, what are you waiting for? Go and offer your insight now!

    (please and thank you )

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  17. #77
    General morningSIDEr's Avatar
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    Intriguing stuff. Hopefully this crazed, suicidal madman with bloodshot eyes proves to actually be a kindly fellow who simply decided to have a look around from the top of the roof, I rather doubt it is the latter, otherwise things look rather bad for the two guardsmen.
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  18. #78
    Only human Najs's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by morningSIDEr View Post
    Intriguing stuff. Hopefully this crazed, suicidal madman with bloodshot eyes proves to actually be a kindly fellow who simply decided to have a look around from the top of the roof, I rather doubt it is the latter, otherwise things look rather bad for the two guardsmen.
    Well, it's not like they're unarmed. I'm pretty sure the guards never had time to drop their swords before the possibly mad man closed the window.
    Gone underground.

  19. #79
    Sergeant Cunobelinus54's Avatar
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    Ooooh, scary. I'm certain all is not as it seems here, I think that jumper's troubles may involve things well beyond what John and Jeremiah think they may be getting into.
    I will revise this signature when I have thought of something funny.

    I ended up being a Count of the Duchy of Novgorod in Iain Wilson's Kingdom Of AARland.

  20. #80
    Generalissimo Cyrus_The_Great's Avatar
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    Hmm...really intriguing, and well written! If we assume the earthquake is not caused by something supernatural, I would say this takes place in a British Colony in Manchuria or China. The region grows a significant amount of corn, would have "Barbarians", is prone to earthquakes (although the corn producing region not as much so as other parts of China), and maybe the great wall is the wall being referenced? Just a guess though. Sisko and Breznak are both slavic sounding, but I don't believe they are Russian.

    I'm confused. Maybe Bohemia or something colonized near the British or emigrated to this colony?
    "If it's true, it probably ain't simple, and if it's simple, it sure as hell ain't true" - my old physics professor

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