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A rather large Scotsman enters the bAAR, carrying a pith helmet under his arm for some reason. He plants himself on a bar stool and motions to the barman.

"Pint of lager please mate, and a packet of salt and vinegar."

As his drink is poured from the tap he turns and addresses no-one in particular.

I'm looking to wrap up my Suenik AAR soon so I'm probably going to start up yet another one. Does anyone have any ideas for what I should write next? Any and all suggestions would be gratefully received!"

He turns to pay the barman and takes a sip of his beer.

"Man, that's a not bad pint!"
 
[The robed and hooded stranger creeps out of the smoke where he hid in the first page]

Another Papist infiltrate, ¿ehm? Well, well... if I may be so stupid as to forego any hope of a remarkable AAR myself, I'm finding impressive potential in the Illyrian provinces. Religious chaos, overlapping claims, duchies popping up all over the place... Let us just say that a Duke of Dioclea ended up as King of the Seljuk Turks without having to slaughter his own brood as usual...

... well, as usual in that time-line in Dioclea...

And yes. I said King.

Just don't tell the Duke I said that. And please avoid the dark-sarcastic viewpoint if you like the idea... although if you give it a try, I'll probably spare others my version :). Don't have much time any longer, either.

[Creeps back again into the smoke. When the barman can't see him, takes a nasty-looking bottle out of a sleeve and downs a swig of it].
 
A tall, scrawny looking swede looks up and scratches a thick beard that seems to make up roughly one third of his body weight.

"Ideas for an AAR you say? Well, I'd say there is much potential in the land of the thousand lakes. How about taking up the role of a finnish count and spread saunas and melancholy to the world? Surely a culture based on spanking one another with birch branches is destined to rule the world!"
 
"We people of the AGEOD community are a close gang", said the stooped professor with grizzled hair. "That's only - wait ! - two of us" The professor thought about it a little. "Three now !". "But I believe our small group might have things of interest for you."

"You see", said the professor with a pedantic voice, "most AAR are ruined by the poor quality of the AI - those machines will never beat the pure intellect of Man." The professor paused. "Of most men, anyway." His voice went softer, almost whispering in a secretive tone "But what I have to offer you is unique ! Just brute thinking ! No poor, and, dare I say, irrationnal AI to be in the way." The professor suddenly went louder : "Player versus player. No "minor" no one cares about on the way. NO UNSTOPPABLE MARCH TO A WORLD CONQUEST". NO (his voice became high-pitched - pathetic imitation of a young lad) : "and then Crimea conquered Brazil"".

Suddenly, he was serene :
"I want to offer you a RUS multiplayer AAR, I want to offer you A last dream of the Old World."
 
Slithering in through a door comes now a thin and unremarkable man, carrying what appears to be a blue-flaming chandelier and a conquistador helmet. When he speaks, however, it is in with a peculiar accent mixed up between spanish and danish.

"Hola, hermanos! Is it possible to get a mojito here? No? Then I'll settle for a diet coke."

He sits down in the corner reserved for those who abandon their AAR's a lot. The corner of shame, we can call it.

"I wish I could sit somewhere else, but I've sadly never been able to attract readers, and in the end, I just give up. Instead, I've taken to modding new and weird nations into Bavaria and other places. Anyways, so anyone here can offer advice as to how to attract readers?"
 
A man in a fine blue uniform walks into the bar. He observes his surroundings, slowly grinding the heel of his left boot into the floor. One of the waiters soon notices him.
"Hello there. You just going to stand there or order something?" she asks, a wide smile on her face.
"I'm uh... I'm just trying to meet everybody I can. I'm with the uh... the 51st Cavalry. We're setting up camp nearby. Looks like we'll be here for a... a while, so I figured I'd get to know the people", he says in a feeble attempt to explain his presence.
"Well, you'll find everyone very welcoming here. They say it's the best community on Earth. I'm Karen".
As she extends her hand to shake his, the pints of beer in her grasp begin wobbling dangerously. The man catches on which is about to fall, an action performed fast enough for the stacks of newspaper clippings in his pocket to fly out the room.
"Thank you... what's your name?"
"Bobbington. Robert Bobbington".
"Robert. What's all this paper?"
He begins picking them up hastily.
"Oh, they're clippings of a series that just started appearing in the New York Times' funnies. It's called [thread=523983]England can into space[/thread]".
 
King Richard saunters into the corner of shame.

"Ah, I've not managed to complete an AAR properly either. Not deliberately, it's generally the death of a save file that does it. The best way to get readers, in my experience, is to use a short, witty title, or a lengthy but awesome one."
 
Cat sauntered over as well.

"Titles help attract viewers, but to keep them and turn them into commenters, you need to find ways to maintain their interest."

He sat across from Johan and stared into his drink, composing his thoughts.

"Speaking for myself, I look for unusual and realistic scenarios. If it's a country I've seen a dozen times before, you need to find some way to set it apart from the other dozen stories. Similarly, since most writers talk about their successes I'm more likely to pay attention and empathize if you struggle."
 
"How to attract readers?" the big Scotsman takes a mouthful of beer and looks thoughtful. "I generally find that cheap jokes work wonders for me."

He winks.

"But seriously, don't fret too much. As someone once said 'if you build it - they will come'. Just remember to respond to your readers' feedback. If they're commenting it means they care."
 
"How to attract me:
-respond to my silly comments
-not too much narrative
-the more it makes me laugh, the better
-comedy is the best form of AAR
-do not post novels, but updates
-an original idea
-common English, clear structure

It is not hard. Readers will come and stay if the AAR stays good."
 
The weirdly dressed and weirdly propped dane takes a look at the scotsman, evidently doing his best trying not to make a sarcastic comment.
"And what if no one understands your jokes? Won't they rather be confused and stop listening?"

Turning towards Enewald, he continues: "What exactly do you mean by narrative? That's the one genre I've never understood."
 
"I fear that gameplay AARs are a two edged sword: they can be good for newer members and simple to write for newer writers; they allow simple comedy in the form of applying real life actions to a game and its mechanics; they are also a tried and true favourite. BUT!" he says pausing on the last word for emphasis, "They are also very easy to make boring or too silly; are competing with the scores of other gameplay AARs; plus I am not as likely to lurk in it."

Taking a sip from his Smiddicks he adds with a wink, "And that is something we all strive for."
 
The monk scowled at the Scotsman across the bar. Darned Scots oughtn't be allowed to drink. The noise they make. Good Heavens! His question is a good one, though...

"Good Sir, ye of the Northern folk, have you perchance given any thought to playing as a highland county and trying to weasel and politick your way to the King of Scotland?"
 
A tall, lean man enters the bAAR and takes a seat. He peers through wire-rimmed spectacles at the patrons, and sets his bowler hat on the table. Ordering a glass of bourbon, he claps his ink-stained hands together and introduces himself as James, though this sounds incongruous with his French accent.

"What a grand idea - a place for us all to gather and share ideas. For those seeking inspiration for new tales, I'd like to offer the following - what about a saga of Vinland? I remember an old tome which contained a hypothetical scenario featuring the lost colony of Vikings in America. Anyone care to see how such an alternative history might play out with a more modern game engine?"
 
"Ah, there are even older tomes that speak of Vinland," Cat purrs. (The IGC in EU1) He grows distant, lost in younger and warmer days. "Yes, I'd welcome a chance to see Vinland again. If you don't want to create it yourself, MM has a series of events that allows certain countries including Denmark to try to 'discover' the northwest passage and so end up settling in New England and eastern Canada."
 
The Scotsman turns to the Dane and smirks. "Of course everyone understands my jokes. I play to the lowest common denominator."

He takes a sip and winks.

"That's why you get them."

Before the irate gentleman responds he turns to the monk.

"I did try a highland game a while back - in fact it was my first ever AAR - but it petered out into nothingness. I'm thinking of doing something different this time."
 
"I would certainly follow a tale involving Vinland. I remember Urcules did a Vinland AAR in EU3 with a selfmade mod. It was very well done."
 
"I would almost call the lost vikings in America overplayed, though not any less enjoyable. Maybe something similar, but at the same time different? Chinese in California, for example. Or something with enemies so you can play underdog rather than build a colonial empire before the Spaniards show up expecting to build theirs."

The small man digresses with a sip of his favorite Irish red, "Though if everyone was willing to set down their usual hostilities, I could go for a good narrative with some more supernatural elements to it... that would compensate for the lack of enemies in game."
 
"If you count success by views or replies, then interactive AARs are the way to go. For example, in the V2 forum, the one topping the viewing charts is an old V2 review AARwith 193,000 views, but Let the ruling classes tremble. is just 200 views behind it, and give that it had 25 ingame years to run when it was, it would probably have breached the 200,000 barrier. In replies, a tutorial AAR by the illustrious Rensslaer came second with 655, Let the ruling classes tremble had over 5,000.
I would like to point people to a new interactive AAR, Building a Nation - an Interactive British AAR."
 
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