The Central bAAR

[Mr. Capiatlist]

"Regardless gentlemen, this is not the place. What I do have," Mr.C says pulling a letter out of his pocket, "is a new AAR from Isaac Wolfe, spinner of epic yarns in the days of Rome. Only now we are in CK! Check it out, guys."

[General_BT]

Slowly, the bleary eyed man looks up from his piles of Byzantine maps and flags. Suddenly, he stares out the window, eyes wide with boundless hope!

"The end! I can see it! It's... beautiful!" he shouts, before those bright eyes fall. "Oh. False alarm, just the end of another section..."

He sighs, then nods to Mr. C. "I'll be following that tale. From Rus to Russia, Part 2, there's another one I read. Some of the prettiest graphics you'll see, it's even got some pirates a-swashing and a-buckling..."

[Cornelius Rex]

[The smoke swirls again and the monk peers out of the haze. There's so much smoke about him, one would suspect he's got either an incense burner or an illegal implement beneath the robes. His face is looking like he just had an illumination.]

"The time has come", he breathes, to no one in particular. "That runaway monk has now arrived in Dioclea and nobody will be safe again. Death, mayhem, and pestilence will follow him. Especially pestilence."

[He ruminates a bit.]

"Yes. Pestilence. Definitely. And badly-coordinated furniture."

[The smoke envelopes him again. Some coughing is heard, then a hollow noise as someone bounces against the wall by the door. A creak, a gust of wind, silence. Sort of.]

[Stroph1]

Stroph is busy as always with the Dirty Rag (TM).

Wipe, wipe, wipe....

Gentlemen, Ladies, Aliens, Plants, and What Ever Eilse we have visiting us today. Please keep the self promotion to a minimum, especially announcing updates.:

Updates – we are glad to have updates, but please don’t announce each one in these hallowed halls.

Wipe, wipe, wipe....

[Iain Wilson]

Iain snaps his fingers and puts down his glass.

"I almost meant to say!"

He turns to Stroph looking slightly wary and holds up a hand in defensive-this-isn't-meant-as-self-promotion-please-don't-beat-me gesture.

"I've just finished my Suenik AAR and I'd like to say thanks very much to all those readers who stuck with it for the last year and a half. Your input has been both valuable and on most occasions hilarious! It was a pleasure creating that little nightmare for you all to read."

He raises his glass before taking a swig.

[Boris ze Spider]

"Have any of you heard that Range is wring his last AAR." Boris said, putting down his half-empty glass.

[Mr. Capiatlist]

"Oi, mate... just because I am a professional lurker and now where it is doesn't mean everyone does. So be a friend and give us a link, eh Boris?"

[Stroph1]

Stroph looks over at Iain and puts down the Dirty Rag (TM). Gasp go all the patrons who weren't even sure where the Dirty Rag (TM) ended and where Stroph's hand began.

"Here you go. Have a drink. On the House."

This time the gasps are even louder....

[Boris ze Spider]

"Here you go Mr. C," handing a small, tattered piece of paper to Mr. C. It has one word on it. Samurai

[BigBadBob]

Robert looks up from his book when he hears the gasps. He is completely bewildered. For a moment, he contemplates taking out his revolver in case someone's getting violent. Only for a moment, until he asks Karen.
"What's going on over there?"
"Stroph put down the Dirty Rag (TM). He's been here for nine years, and no one's seen him put down that rag. They tell stories of it... being clean once".
Realizing what has happened, Robert joins in on the gasps, but is soon interrupted by Karen.
"What are you reading there?"
"Oh yeah, it's one the newfangled "interactive AARs".

Karen takes a look at the book, before turning her attention to the scrawled papers at Robert's side.
"More England can into Space?" she asks, nodding her head at the papers.
"No. It's my own concoction, two concoctions in fact. They seem to have fine reader base, but an oddly quiet one. I'm not sure whether it's 'cause I write well enough to leave them speechless, or if they're taking their parents' advice and keeping their mouths shut if they don't have anything good to say".
Karen picks up the scraps of paper, and heads toward Stroph and the bar with them.
"What are you doing?" Robert asks.
"Perhaps the patrons, being talkative people, have something to say!".

[Cornelius Rex]

[The door opens and another gust of cold wind attempts to make itself felt among the smoke. It fails.]

[A weird personage stalks in. A mix between a medieval warrior and a mountain tramp. Not too tall, not too big, but definitely mean enough for two. Black hair under an extremely battered helmet, face crossed with scars, and yet clean shaven cheeks. Walks to the bar with an almost aggressive jauntiness, shoots a look towards the Dirty Rag (TM) before leaning toward the barman.]

"Hey friend. I see you run a rugged place here, just as the monk said. Maybe you can help me... if it's not against the rules. I've just come down from the mountains and I'm a bit of a greenhorn over here.

"The thing's this. I'm working for some guys who're doing a period piece, no big studios, no big names, but quite serious people. They've got a digital unit that's almost good. But we're working up there in the hills and we're running out of local talent. The next chapters are going to need lots of people and the producers are growing nervous. So the chap that does research for the one playing the monk comes and says we should try doing "cameos". Says if we ask around we'll find some people who'd be willing to play some small, or not so small, parts. Say, "Spiky-helmeted mercenary warrior" or "Byzantine Emperor", or... Think that'd be a good idea? And if so, can we put a recruiting table down at the back of the bar?"

[Leans forth listening for an answer].

[FlyingDutchie]

A Dutchman, wearing a Pickelhaube for some unknown reason, barges into the bAAR and orders a double Whiskey. He starts talking rather loudly, as Dutchmen are known to do abroad:

"Where's the love for HoI2 people? CK, EU, Vicky are all fun in their own way, but please don't forget about the many quality AARs in that area of the forum. Whether you like a good WW2 story or a story centered around one of the many mods, like the Mod 1914, Mod 33 or Kaiserreich, good ol' HoI2 still caters to all tastes."

[Alfredian]

"They really are good. I liked some of then so much that I spent hours trying (and failing) to install Kaisserreich and have now resorted to playing Romania on vanilla Armageddon to help me past my cravings".

He pauses before the traditional rant about his lack of IT skills, scratches his head and searches for the vital information hidden on a shelf in the back of his brain (somewhere between the shelves for Cookery and bicycle maintenance).

"A short history of the German Empire is an excellent Kaiserreich read, as is Teivel's Russian AAR and The Prophet Unleashed is a promising Mod33 one"

[Iain Wilson]

"Cheers Stroph! Have you got any nice single malts there?"

[Slan]

*A man walks in. His beard is old, his trenchcoat is older. He seats himself at the bAAR and asks for a beer. After drinking about half of it while continuously looking around as if he was afraid of someone, he starts to speak like he was speaking to himself, although it is clearly heard all around the room.*

"The first of April is coming. You don't know it yet, but you will! And it will consume your souls and rip the flesh from your bones and drink the blood from your veins and will also kick you in unconfortable places! Beware of the first of April! It will come to AARland, and its next target will be Europa Universalis III! Mark my words as nothing will be the same after the first of April has come!"

*And with that, he runs off the street without paying, followed by curiosity in every pair of eyes, to simply vanish in a crowd of some Chinamen with a huge Dragon-puppet, that happened to pass by at the time.*

[Boris ze Spider]

Boris puts his glass of root bear down (since he doesn't drink... yet anyway) after he took a sip.

"To all the writAARs here, what is your favorite part of writing?" he says, adressing the gathered.

[Iain Wilson]

"Good question. The creative process and forming an idea you know you can run with is itself always a pleasure, but in these parts" he gestures to the room "I'd also include wrapping up an AAR with a logical ending that leaves (mostly) everyone satisfied as being up there too."

He takes another drink.

"That and getting feedback from your readers letting you know that you're entertaining them. That's always a wonderful feeling."

[Johan11]

"So..... Range is ending the saga? gonna miss that. it's a bit sad..."

The Dane drifts off, looking into the distance with a happy/insane look on his face.

"At least I've been the first to be recognised by the pope."

[Mr. Capiatlist]

Look at Boris, Mr. C starts: "I like writing characters, characters are my favorite part. The way they interact, the way the react to pressure on them. They bring life to stories."

[BigBadBob]

Hearing Boris' question, Robert walks to the bar.
"Definitely people, seeing how they react to events in the story. The most fun part of writing a chapter I can think of is the moment were I'm trying to add meat to a Declaration of War by wondering what makes a person, or even an entire nation, tick".