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Worst WritAAR: A Semi-Interactive AAR about how much I like other peoples money

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The Bard's Guild would like to congratulate his rulership Adorno on a so-far successful campaign. The Bard's Guild would also like to say that the Muslims in the West are not as appreciative of music as the Muslims in the East. The Bard's Guild would also like to remind his rulership Adorno of that unforunate incident last year involving the Queen of England's knickers. The Bard's Guild would think it very unfortunate if someone besides the Bard's Guild would happen to find out about that particular incident...
 
I think that Tripoli is easiest, but Mamluks are banging on your door if you do that.

Hmm... You can't vassalise Algiers, but they have better lands.

Conclusion:You must invade Algiers! (Bring them some SEMLOR, and they will accept your will at any cost)
 
Chapter 3: I'm not your Buddy, Guy!

Chapter 3: I'm not your Buddy, Guy!​

And so the great Genoese council did vote on who to declare war on. And after a quick vote (which had more votes tham members!;)) its was decided Algeria would be the next "trade Member". And this was perfect timing as Algeria was already at war with the Castilians, forcing them to divert all their manpower to deal with the yellow blob of doom.

However as soon as the vote was passed, a messanger from Georga came to the council hall to deliver a message that goes as follows" Dear Genoa, We are leaving your trade league. Also, we are not your buddy, guy!"
genoaaargeorgatradedisp.jpg


The council was outraged, and demanded war. But the Doge refused to allow it, as Algeria was already our next target. But as luck would have it, Milan called us to aid in their war against Tuscany, who was guranteed by Sicily. The dodge already rejected one call to arms before, and it hurt Genoa's prestige. So teh Doge activate demergancy powers and skiuppe dthe councils vote and joined the war. As teh declaration of war was being signed, the Doge recieved news of ne wexpoloits and land. Though the explorers found new land called the Central Sahara, it was demed worthless, unless sand had a hidden value (after 6 months of research, Genoese scientists declared sand worthless).
genoaaarcentralsaharafo.jpg


The first battle with Tuscany was where the Grand Genoese Home army (2000 soldiers, the main force is in Tunis guarding our new aquision) rushed to the aid of a Small Milanese task force heading to link up with the main force in Tuscany, though the battle was won, Pisan rebels moved into teh region attacking the coalition immediantly after the battle.Sadly our armys never stood a chance
genoaaarfirstbattleofsi.jpg

genoaaarsecondbattleofs.jpg


But our ally Aquilia captured Tuscany and is moving their army to intercept teh Tuscan army in rebel controled Pisa. while Marching to Pisa, the Aquilian army recieved notice of the peace deal that made Tuscany a vassle to Milan, thus ending the war.:D

ELECTION! Antonio Adorno's Term is up, shall we keep him? Or shall we replace him? Do let me remind you in teh last 2 months, he failed to get Tuscany and Salzburg into the trade league, and has yet to attack Algeria.

Great Council, what say you?

1. Keep Him - 0

2. Select a Bureaucrat canditdate - 18 (i guessed there could be 6 Semlar in a bag)

3. Select a Diplomatic canditade - 38 (black mail failed, rolled a 1 on a d6, required 4 or higher)
(second blackmail attempt failed, rolled a 3, required a 4 or higher on a d6)
(thrid blackmail attempt successful, rolled a 5 on a d6)

4. Selcet a Militaristic Candidate - 30 (black mail succeeded with a roll of 5 on a d6)
(second blackmail attempt success, rolled 4 on a d6)

And heres the standerded Bribe fee:

Cookies are worth 1 vote

Brownies are worth 2 votes

Selmor is worth 3 votes

Honey Cakes are worth 4 votes

Vodka is worth 5 votes

Black mail is worth 10 votes (50/50 chance of not working your way, i'll roll dice and post results)

(Please try to give me numbers if possible, it makes it hard to make this a "fair" election)

genoaaarelectiontime1.jpg


Note: I made the bribe system a little more standered so we can have a more accurate count. Do you guys like it? Should i change the values maybe?
 
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The Tarantula Guild of Trade, seeing as we are about to expand into Algeria, think it is higly effective if someone trained in military manners took the lead. So our vote, with a batch of cookies, goes to the secret military commander.

Edited for awesomeness.
 
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It is with a broken heart that I utter this words, as I value my friendship with his rulership Antonio Adorno more than many considerably valuable goods, but I cannot support him in this elections. My fellow Genoans, we stand today upon the brink of a new era for our glorious nation. An era of expansion, an era of triumph, but above all an era of wealth. But wherever there are rich and just people like us the noble Merchants of the Great City of Novogrod… I mean the great city of Genoa there are also unjust and unfair people who would do all in their power to deny us our power and wealth. Those people are here in Russia… I mean Italy right now, just beyond our borders. They will claim our expansion unlawful, say that we shall not spread the word of free trade to other nations. These people must be stopped, but not by our money or the strength of arms, but by diplomacy. Antonio Adorno, while a great men in his own way, cannot secure a proper diplomatic corps for our nation. Therefore as a member of the Great Council with the city’s well being as my only motif I cast my vote on the Diplomatic Candidate, who I hope will soon be free to reveal his name to the public, and I urge you to follow in my footsteps.
Thank you, thank you. Oh, really, you shouldn’t have.*steps down from the rostrum*

I must say that I heartily approve of the new Standardized Bribe Fees since they value vodka so highly, and as a representative of Novogrod I have a virtually unlimited access to it. Right now three ships full of it are being unloaded in the port.
 
The Mercenary's Guild is a proud, law-abiding organization. That said, the Guild of Legitimate Businessmen have generously provided us with a list of the residences of the families of the Members of Parliament.

Nice families they got there, would be a shame if anything happened to them. Good thing the Military Candidate could protect them, if only he gets their vote.:cool:
 
The Bard's Guild has found it unfortunate that his rulership Adorno had decided not to venture east. As such, the Bard's Guild cannot support him in the upcoming elections. The Bard's Guild would like to express their support for the Diplomatic Candidate, for there is no doubt that he would certainly arrange us more creative rights.

Furthermore, the Bard's Guild would like his rulership to know that, if he would step down from the elections altogether, then the details of the incident previously mentioned would not be released to the Genoese public.
 
The Guild of Naval Commerce and Shipping was not very happy with the term of Doge Antonio. His cowardly disposal of one of our rich and pleasant Ukrainian provinces was not appreciated by the Guild. I'd like to remember the members of the Council that in winter, the Baltic Sea is frozen, and the vodka must then be shipped by the Black Sea. ;)

The Guild feels that Genoa needs to expand the borders of the free world, and as such the diplomatic candidate is the more qualified to convince the other nations of the rightfulness of our destiny. I hope that the shipping of yet another batch of Ukrainian honey cakes will help him get elected.
And if he's not elected, I'm afraid that the Guild will be forced to freeze Genoa's naval commerce.
 
MetallicaFan100 said:
I think that Tripoli is easiest, but Mamluks are banging on your door if you do that.

Hmm... You can't vassalise Algiers, but they have better lands.

Conclusion:You must invade Algiers! (Bring them some SEMLOR, and they will accept your will at any cost)
Click to expand...

I was thinking of a forced vassalization, isn't that possible? or is it possible to annex then release?

I'm going steps ahead of the story but what I'd do is vassalize Algiers then go for morocco (or however it's spelled) and atleast keep some of its land to gain a good spot from which to launch colonization

Oh and also, the omnipotent George casts his vote for a militaristic leader! The glorious worker's revolution needs a firm hand guiding it in order for it to spread!

*blackmail attempt*
George has been observing a lack of loyalty to the party amidst the ruling circle, he requires decisive action if his trust is to be restored, and there is nothing more decisive than military boots marching in northern africa. If however this does not happen he would be forced to assume that capitalist spies have infiltrated the leading circle and take appropriate actions
 
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Capitalist spies in the Merchant Republic of Genoa? Truly George has quite an imagination. The only spies left alive in Genoa are from the Great City of Nov... I mean there are no spies in Genoa. Not that I would know anything about them. I do not deal with spies. And I certainly did not help any infiltrate the city. Where are you people getting such ridiculous ideas?
 
Badpojken said:
I was thinking of a forced vassalization, isn't that possible? or is it possible to annex then release?

I'm going steps ahead of the story but what I'd do is vassalize Algiers then go for morocco (or however it's spelled) and atleast keep some of its land to gain a good spot from which to launch colonization

Oh and also, the omnipotent George casts his vote for a militaristic leader! The glorious worker's revolution needs a firm hand guiding it in order for it to spread!

*blackmail attempt*
George has been observing a lack of loyalty to the party amidst the ruling circle, he requires decisive action if his trust is to be restored, and there is nothing more decisive than military boots marching in northern africa. If however this does not happen he would be forced to assume that capitalist spies have infiltrated the leading circle and take appropriate actions
Click to expand...

A forced vassalation would only work if the countrys warscore is under 100%. And I think that Algiers is over 100%.

Anyway, the new Swedish bureaucrat, thinks that you must select the bureaucrat candidate, as Genoa must not forget about trade! He also brings some semlor, if the new doge is intressed. *brings big bag of semlor*
 
Algeria can be vasselized, I outright annexed in a fun little Morroco game, and they are at war with Castile, and Portugal right now. So unless a huge rebellion pops up in tunis (16% chance). Thats why I haven't attecked them yet either (and due to minor distractions).
 
How about some backstory and foreshadowing.

Me_ Alekseyevich Petrov was sitting by the desk in his office writing a letter. As his hand moved fast a sizeable diamond in a golden ring casted odd shadows on the walls. To a stranger it was just one of the many pieces of jewelry often worn by the rich and powerful merchants, but some of the older Novogrodians would be able to recognize it as the ring of Mikhail Ivanovich Antonov – the last leader of the Assassin’s Guild of Novogrod. Mikhail Antonov was a powerful men in his time but he also had powerful enemies and so it did not surprised anyone that he was found dead on the 5th of February 1372 – the day of the Great Fire of Novogrod. What surprised some was the cause of his death, for Antonov did not die in his burning mansion. In fact, he was found at the feet of the tallest of the watchtowers. After careful examination of all evidence it was proclaimed officially that he died by accidently slipping off from the top of the tower, where he was tap-dancing, naked, with a bag on his head, a gag in his mouth, with both his hands and his ankles tied. The considerate people of Novogrod did not question this ruling, but there were rumors that Antonov was betrayed and killed by some of the assassins. If that was the case shall forever remain a secret.
Me_ finished writing the letter, folded and sealed it, and then called for one of his trusted Russian servants.
- Make sure that this letter reaches the posadnik – he said in Russian.
- It will be done, my lord.

I was going to use this story as a threat, but I've already voted, so it can just serve as a flavour.
 
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A mercenary captain, known far and wide in Italia as Scarpone sul Faccio, has in recent years gained political power in Genoa through the control of the armsmen in the city.
When Scarpone led his small band of mercenaries to Genoa, he expected the people to be fat, soft merchant lords. He was right about the lords, but he found many knights with no liege, no money, and no scruples. Due to the lack of a traditional feudal structure many knights bachelor have gathered in Genoa and its countryside to escape being picked up by some random lord, but found out that a knight doesn't get paid just for having a Sir behind their name.
Scarpone soon gathered these scattered knights and assembled them into a force unrivaled in North Italy(except by Milan and Savoy). The Merchant Lords of the Genovese Diet recognized the power of Scarpone's band, and granted him a County and Generalship to sate his political thirst. But Scarpone, and his Knights sul tuo Faccio, won't rest until complete political power is in the hands of the military faction and a Kingdom is established.
 
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OH! Backstorys! If you wish to expand, go ahead. I like knowing what my treacherous council is up to (I might write in rebelians as certain chars revolting, if you guys don't mind).
 
Ygor gazed at the Black Sea from the balcony of his castle. The sun shone in an uncommon fashion for this late october afternoon. A gentle breeze blew from the south, and one could hear the regular sound of the waves breaking against the rocks underneath the castle. Ygor took one of his beloved honey cakes and started eating it carelessly. How could anyone want to dispose of such a lovely place? Everyone likes Crimea, everyone wants to fight for Crimea! Antonio didn't. He was certainly a cowardly Doge.

He hoped that his candidate - a master in the deceiving art of diplomacy - would win the election and support the Guild of Naval Commerce views on the future of the Republic. The Ukrainian provinces had great potential, but they needed first to be liberated from the despicable Mongols.

Ygor sighed. He knew that his views on the matter were not shared by many Genoese. These degenerated people feared those damned barbarians more than anything else! He would need to convince them of the rightfulness of his opinion.

"Fiodor!", called Ygor. "Come here. I need you to send this message to all merchants in town. All the spare boats must head to Genoa, with whatever weapons they can find. We will give the people of the capital a little demonstration of our power, if they do not act reasonably."

Fiodor left the balcony to carry away the message. Ygor took a deep breath, and grinned at the sea.

"Let's see how you'll react, fellow members of the Council..."
 
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