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BTW:
- The British named the territory south of Columbia Washington, in honour of the rebel General's brave treason and sedition.
:rofl: Hadn't considered that one. :D
 
That the German-Indian Gurkhas in South Bengal think they were born under North German rule, dressed in North German clothes, been taught and spoke North German all their lives, and are willing to die for the NGF even though they were just conquered by the NGF 2 months ago.

EDIT: And another... that Germany considers Suez to be an integral, core part of the German Empire even though the Suez Canal just opened last week and not a single ship has sailed through it yet.
 
Contrary to popular belief, militant nationalism really means "the tendency for anarchists to talk about wanting a forcibly-unified single-culture dictatorship while peacefully enjoying the social programmes of their foreign communist overlords."

People in conquered territories really don't mind being ruled by a foreign regime at all. In fact, after they get over the brief nostalgia period of 3-6 months, most former Englishmen don't even recall the fact that they were ever ruled from anywhere other than Paris.
 
The Balkans were there powderkeg of Europe. However, teachers often have difficulties lecturing on this point in their classes. The problem stems from the lead-up to, and the countries comprising, the largest war in southern Europe in the Victorian period: the Italian Conquest of Languedoc. The Italian government, tired of French meddling in the Balkans, used a border dispute to press ahead for a war that promised to chastise the hated cheese-mongers for their arrogant placement of the Austro-Hungarian monarchy in their sphere. When war was declared in May of 1920, Italian troops eagerly crossed the border into Languedoc from their bases in Provence and Rhone (acquired in the previous War of Provencal Conquest) and engaged the conscripts of the French army, giving them a good thrashing at the battles of Verdun, Paris, and (obviously) Languedoc.

This is the easy part of war to teach students.

The hard part to teach students is what was happening in the eastern theater. Austria and Hungary, two of Italy's closest allies, fought a valiant war against Austria-Hungary. Austrian and Hungarian troops fought against the hated Austria-Hungarian brigades in a series of battles that claimed many lives as trench networks grew exponentially. But as valiant as the Austrians and Hungarians were in their attempts to break the lines of the Austria-Hungarians, the battles were not decided until troops from the Ottoman Empire marched through Bosnia and encircled the Austria-Hungarian armies. The largest battle ever fought in eastern Europe, and comprising Turks, Austrians, Hungarians, and Austria-Hungarians, was not actually fought in Austria, Hungary, or in Austria-Hungary. It was fought in Croatia, which has caused a never ending stream of undergraduates to fail their tests on the subject.

Macmillan textbooks often use the following visual aid to assist new teachers who try to teach this confusing segment of European history. [Just in case you think I am making it up.]

Capture.jpg

:rofl: *APPLAUSE* (thank you for making me lol :D)
 
Japan's rise to Great Power status began when Meiji Tokugawa instituted a reformation that would ensure the Bakufu's continued dominance, ending any possibility that the emperor could be restored. His power was primarily derived from the newly-colonized Japanese Halshenwai Region, where many dozens of brigades of samurai trained all day and night. Peasants from all over Japan would travel to the Shinsengumi training camps in the colonies and become great warriors in their own right, indoctrinated in the ways of the Great Kamui of the Ainu people.

The cruel and merciless aristocrats tried to force the people to vote and form political parties, which they flatly refused to do. It was only by the grace of the Shogun Meiji Tokugawa that these wealthy individuals were not beheaded or forced to commit seppuku. By the time full voting rights were granted, the common people remained firm in their total adoration for the Shogun and refused to allow factories or railroads to be built by anyone other than the Bakufu. The evil capitalists made numerous attempts at overthrowing the bakufu, and indulged in arcane rituals where they would randomly dance around while screaming "Ee ja nai ka!" ((Isn't it great!)) and shooting muskets into the air, but they were always easily crushed by the multitudes of Shinsengumi, fueled by the power of the Ainu's Great Kamui.

As for Meiji Tokugawa's rapid conquest of Korea and his multiple wars against China? This is a lengthy and grand tale which will be told some other time...
 
* American, Dutch, and Brazilian Korea were established in 1878 after Korean natives insulted an American diplomat. Pusan is known today for the bustling naval base there.

* Throughout the early 1900s, the most conflict the American continents saw was a Cold War between the United States, Britain, and Mexico for influence over the United States of Central America for the rights to build the Panama Canal.

* Yemen has been the crown jewel of the Russian Empire since the 1860s.

* After discovering the magical powers of the Machine Gun in the 1870s, the Two Sicilies colonized all of Eastern Africa and Central from Somalia to Transvaal to the Congo.

* Throughout the late 1800s, the Two Sicilies remained independent of Italy despite expressing wishes to join because Italy was always either considered a Great Power or was under the influence of France.

* The most important part of colonizing former uncivilized nations in Asia was, in fact, building state of the art railroads in every province. Industrial, military and social progress was impossible without having first constructed these railroads.

* In 1845, when the Confederate States of America rebelled from the United States of America, North Dakota and Colorado naturally joined the Dixie cause.

* From the 1840s through the 1860s, approximately 75% of the United States Military was composed of infantrymen from Detroit.

* The most important military conflicts in late 1800s America were the numerous assists to defend their North German Allies from Russian attempts to annex Wielpolski (sorry if I've misspelled the name).

* Mexico's rise to the status of one of the world's Great Powers was achieved primarily because of the financial stability allowed by their numerous gold mines.
 
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The Balkans were there powderkeg of Europe. However, teachers often have difficulties lecturing on this point in their classes. The problem stems from the lead-up to, and the countries comprising, the largest war in southern Europe in the Victorian period: the Italian Conquest of Languedoc. The Italian government, tired of French meddling in the Balkans, used a border dispute to press ahead for a war that promised to chastise the hated cheese-mongers for their arrogant placement of the Austro-Hungarian monarchy in their sphere. When war was declared in May of 1920, Italian troops eagerly crossed the border into Languedoc from their bases in Provence and Rhone (acquired in the previous War of Provencal Conquest) and engaged the conscripts of the French army, giving them a good thrashing at the battles of Verdun, Paris, and (obviously) Languedoc.

This is the easy part of war to teach students.

The hard part to teach students is what was happening in the eastern theater. Austria and Hungary, two of Italy's closest allies, fought a valiant war against Austria-Hungary. Austrian and Hungarian troops fought against the hated Austria-Hungarian brigades in a series of battles that claimed many lives as trench networks grew exponentially. But as valiant as the Austrians and Hungarians were in their attempts to break the lines of the Austria-Hungarians, the battles were not decided until troops from the Ottoman Empire marched through Bosnia and encircled the Austria-Hungarian armies. The largest battle ever fought in eastern Europe, and comprising Turks, Austrians, Hungarians, and Austria-Hungarians, was not actually fought in Austria, Hungary, or in Austria-Hungary. It was fought in Croatia, which has caused a never ending stream of undergraduates to fail their tests on the subject.
That is easily the most ridiculous thing I have yet seen on this board.
 
That is easily the most ridiculous thing I have yet seen on this board.
While not as ridiculous as the Austria/Hungary/Austria-Hungary war, I found that in EU3 you can get in the somewhat strange situation of a war between Scotland and England on one side and Great Britain on the other, where Great Britain is a New World power without a single province on the British island. The history of this situation is not unlike Secret Master's story.
 
* iron and it's derivative are the only metals used in industry in the entire world. All other metals are so rare that they are deemed 'precious', and may be used as currency the moment you pull them out of the ground.

* Fortresses have no defensive value whatsoever. They are purely decorative items, which countries put around their borders in order to give tourists something to gawp at, and to allow their neighbours to figure out how high their dig-in bonus is.

* By far the best troops to assault a line of trenches are cavalry, as good recon can cancel out even the most elaborate trench systems.

* oil cannot do anything as well as coal can, which is why only a fool would switch the navy to oil-based ships. Which is why the AI NEVER DOES.

* a socialist peer will pass a single social reform before deciding he was wrong throughout his entire political career, and that the tories were right all along.

* Even if you cannot afford to buy it, merely looking at an item in the shop window is enough to drive the price up.

* prior to 1836, countries were happy to build colonies in Africa regardless of local conditions. In 1836, the Health and Safety executives stepped in and stopped this.

* Merely living next to big open tracts of uncolonized land is not enough to make you move into them. You must also apply to the UN, and be from a recognised member of the G20.

* Ultimatums have never happened, and will never happen. People just declare war and start shooting.

* The British government began outsourcing jobs to India in about 1840, starting with the entire industrial base.

* coal is almost exclusively a European phenomenon.

* China is well known for exclusively growing tea. It has never occured to them to try planting anything else.

* In 1836, Chinese artisans working in dingy cellars made 90% of the worlds high-precision interchangeable machine parts.

* sugar does not exist. You're actually sweetening all that chinese tea with either grain or fruit.

* Tobacco isn't processed in any way whatsoever prior to consumption. You simply pull it off the tree and light it.

* Switzerland is a dutchy in Northern Peidemont.

* Throughout the 19th century, most people in Asia thought mountains were the best place to set up grain farms.

* Tibet was widely considered the crossroads of Asia, due to it's easily-crossed mountain passes. There is no reason whatsoever that a 100,000 man army with an artillery train might have issues moving from India to Lahasa.

* 'Industry' is actually the process of taking large quantities of raw material, processing it into finely-designed manufactures, and then dumping the whole damn lot into the sea at the first opportunity.
 
Early 20th Century British politics is a controversial period in history. While issues of trade and colonization are often thought to be the most important by dilettantes who watch the History Channel, any respectable historian will point out that the military policies of Tony Blair the Elder’s Labor government (PM from 1905-1915) literally changed the world.

In 1904, the Tories were faced with growing disappointment among the voting population. The failure of the Tories contain Germany’s military strength, coupled with growing resentment about unemployment, resulted in their defeat at the hands of Labor in January of 1905. Labor promised the British people more employment and an end to the arms race against Germany. Blair the Elder was quoted in 1905 as saying, “If the Jerries want to build a so-called High Seas Fleet, let them. We shall stand alone in our splendid isolation.” This affirmation of an anti-military position was consistent with Labor’s demands in both Commons and Lords that instead of spending money on weapons, money should be spent on the British people. And indeed, the day after the election, dividends were seen as the military support budget dropped by half. Money was immediately invested in factories across the Empire.

But by the end of January, it was clear that the industrial world was rendering Labor policies obsolete. In February, it was announced that oil-driven dreadnoughts were now possible to build. Costing nearly 10 times the cost of a cruiser, Blair the Elder’s government at first balked at the suggestion that they should build some. Yet, the slashing of the budget by Labor’s anti-military policies had unintentionally thrown the entire British shipbuilding industry into chaos. It was then that a young Clement Attlee, MP from Limehouse, suggested to Blair the Elder in a speech given to the Commons that perhaps Labor could create jobs by building dreadnoughts. By building just enough to rescue the shipbuilding industry, they could make the Tories look bad by being tough on defense policies and help employ people at the same time. The speech received a standing ovation, and Blair the Elder reluctantly ordered the construction of the first ten dreadnoughts.

While the Tories and their pro-military policy had barely been able to afford 50 cruisers, Blair the Elder’s Labor government found that building ten dreadnoughts barely hurt the budget under their anti-military policies. So, they ordered ten more, and then another ten, and so on. By 1910, the Royal Navy comprised more dreadnought class vessels than the entirety of Germany’s High Seas Fleet. The British military was now so strong that no Great Power did more than complain quietly when Blair the Elder ordered that China be turned into a protectorate (ostensibly to get access to more timber and 150 million more customers for British products). And when the Blair the Elder ordered Korea turned into a protectorate as well, the Russian Czar merely asked quietly is the British troops could be quieter, as the noise from the invasion of Korea was disturbing Russian troops in Manchuria. When the Empire of Japan intervened upon the entry of British troops into Siam, Blair the Elder ordered the navy to position five dreadnoughts off the coast of every Japanese port and fishing dock. The Emperor capitulated within six months.

All of these successes should have made Blair the Elder’s government the longest-running in British history, but the British people are a fickle lot. After suffrage was granted to Vietnam, the adventurism of Blair the Elder’s policies came back to haunt him. The British people became overwhelmingly supportive of a pro-military policy thanks to ten years of profitable war across the globe. Special elections were called in 1915, and the Tories were put back into power in a landslide. Labor still held a plurality in the House of Lords, but Blair the Elder’s “Great Experiment” was now over. The day after the Tories instituted their pro-military policies, the government went bankrupt, as it could no longer afford to pay its military support costs. King George V angrily demanded the resignation of the Tory government, and asked the Liberal Party to form a “government of austerity” to solve the financial crisis. This it did by stealing Labor’s anti-military policy and simultaneously ending government control of key industries.

The legacy of Blair the Elder’s Great Experiment can still be seen today. Tony Blair the Younger (PM from 1997-2007), in his last act as Prime Minister, ordered British industries to weld several dreadnoughts together to form another bridge over the Thames. This eyesore only used up 5% of the existing dreadnought hulls, many of which still sit rusting in Singapore and Hong Kong.
 
* The private sector only discovered that they can build warehouses and store unsold goods on January 1st, 1937. This is despite the fact governments had been doing it for at least a century beforehand.
 
* Any notion of a "United" States is ridiculous. North America is made up of the so called USA, the CSA, Mexico, British Canada/Washington/Maine/New York, New England, and Manhattan.
* The Ottoman Empire has a friendly relationship with Egypt and will drop everything to defend it, despite having wars on a regular 5 year schedule in its ongoing conquest of Syria. Why the Ottomans don't take it all in a single war is unknown, considering that the Egyptian Army is utterly demolished every 5 years like clockwork.
* There is no population growth in Ethiopia proper, although the lands of Nubia do grow at a brisk pace. In fact, the population of Ethiopia has shrunk as 5% of Ethiopian males in different cities are slaughtered every six months on the orders of offended European superpowers.
* Although wars on containment would begin immediately in the event that Ethiopia would dare take the valuable provinces of Egypt's southern desert wastes, there has been no complaint about England retaking its former American colonies bit by bit.
* Mexico became one of the world's superpowers in 1850.
* Prussia consists mostly of the City-State of Brandenburg, the western portions being New France and the eastern portions divided between France, Russia and Brazil. In Danzig, 90% of the population speaks Brazilian Portuguese, much to the consternation of German sign makers.
* In the 19th century, Prussia was famous for being the only major power in Europe that was not an Army with a Nation, rather than a Nation with an Army. This typically pacifistic Prussian mindset was to be their downfall.
* In the 19th century, military strength was not measured by how many ships or brigades a nation had at its beck and call, but rather by how many soldiers it could theoretically call up if it really felt like it.
* The idea of freedom of trade has a larger impact on farm output than any improvement in machinery or labor procedures.
* The dictionary defines "Balkanization" as the tendency for diverse peoples to be happy about living under a foreign government and never consider revolt or independence until this is imposed on them by evil foreigners. Germany and Italy would be happier living under a condition of Balkanization.
* In the 19th century, all of the European powers loved and trusted the benevolent Turks, who were their long standing friends and strategic allies. They would always aid them against the hated Greeks who, according to the revised textbooks, attempted to conquer Europe for more than 400 years. This effort only ended with the failure of the Siege of Vienna, which was presumably stopped by the Turks, which is why Europe loves them so.
* Only about 20% of Christian Clergy, Jewish Rabbi and Muslim Imams were literate in 1836. This is why the Abrahamic religions were almost exclusively an oral tradition until the 1900s. This was also the case with 19th century Bureaucracy throughout the world, which was noted for its elaborate systems of memorization to help compensate for the lack of literate clerks.
 
* In 1884 New York decided it was better of alone and seceded from the rest of the United States.
* For nearly a hundred years, Galapagos was inhabited by a single man. Luckily, he had access to functional administration, aristocratic guidance and mechanized mining to improve his chances for catching fish.
* The second half of the 1800s saw such massive deforestation that trees nearly went extinct, but luckily we still got billions of dirt-cheap chairs from it, so at least we got a place to sit.
 
*Contrary to popular belief, people don't mind at all to live under a oppressive, backward government which robs them blind and forces them to buy their own inferior products, only to hoard the ridiculous amounts of money to blow them on equally ridiculous armament-projects.
*North Korea wasn't the first country to convert a substantial part of it's population into soldiers, this was done so by all European powers starting in 1836. Interestingly this didn't affect their industry even slightly.
*Between 1879 and 1880 there was a massive war between Prussia (and it's north German allies) and the South German Federation (recently considered a great power) over the hegemony in Germany which saw over 1.5 million dead, thereby completely wiping out the SGF's military. The war ended with Prussia annexing parts of the SGF. On a sidenote: while the SGF claimed to 'try to unite the German people', nobody seemed to care that substantial parts of Prussia was in the hands of Austria and Russia.
*the only major opposition in the Russian empire during this time was a mild-mannered group of environmentalists, which demanded that the government stop dumping the rampant overproduction of the state-owned armament-industry into nearby coastal waters.
 
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* Prussia weakened itself in wars with Austria so much, they never were able to fight wars against anyone else.

* Austria's control of Jutland since 1837 was only contested during the Victorian periold by Jacobin rebels.

* A common occurance in the Victorian Era was many different people rising up in rebellion and taking over their country. The rebels that arrived in the capital first were unilaterally declared the winner once the rebellion(s) succeeded, but then the remaining disagreeing rebels would rebel against the victorious party, leading to a cycle of rebellions between Jacobins, Anarcho-Liberals, Reactionaries, and Nationalists.

* German pan-nationalism was a driving force in the 1800's, but even when they succeeded in rebelling and enforcing their demands, no one cared, and Germany never formed.

* When first colonized, Africans were equally reactionary, conservative, socialist, and liberal.

* The USA spent most of the 1800's fighting Mexico over and over for California, New Mexico, Arizona, Utah, and Colorado, and Britain over New England. Between those wars and the Civil War, they never managed to do anything else important.

* One of the most weighty domestic matters in the USA was deciding whether signs should be written in Yankee or Afro-American.
 
* A common occurance in the Victorian Era was many different people rising up in rebellion and taking over their country. The rebels that arrived in the capital first were unilaterally declared the winner once the rebellion(s) succeeded, but then the remaining disagreeing rebels would rebel against the victorious party, leading to a cycle of rebellions between Jacobins, Anarcho-Liberals, Reactionaries, and Nationalists.

I thought this was just the national sport before football was invented.
 
In the victorian era, Austria had no problem with its non-german inhabitants.
But what they did have a problem with was with their german citizens who kept taking up arms in the name of countries such as: Serbia, Transylvania, Slovenia, Bosnia, Wallachia and Bohemia.
Needless to say, their uprisings were easily put down, though they tried again and again to no avail.
 
That guard regiments will sit and watch as their nation is occpuied until they recieve their alchohol. Only then will they do their job.
 
That guard regiments will sit and watch as their nation is occpuied until they recieve their alchohol. Only then will they do their job.

One can never underestimate the motivational powers of alcohol. It helps people to achieve things that they never would have attempted without alcohol. =D
 
That guard regiments will sit and watch as their nation is occpuied until they recieve their alchohol. Only then will they do their job.

One of the major concerns of the British Royal Navy was to get enough ale and rum to be able to fully "feed" their sailors. I don't see anything strange with that observation! ;)