Things I have learned.
* Proficiency with clicking dialog boxes is more important than strategy in advancing the history of the world and avoiding disaster.
* Precognition is an important talent to have or skill to learn when clicking anytime during the run of a paradox game (see 1) else disaster is inevitable.
* All political movements and social change are the result of random supernatural responses to improbable events (see 1).
* After being overwhelmed by said events said supernatural beings become apathetic and ignore all events that they are not forced to respond to (see 1).
* That after apathy comes rage at being damned to respond to meaninglessly trite and trivial events to appease the event god (see 1).
* Democracies and Dictatorships are indistinguishable.
* If you put a horse on a train it (the train) will move at the speed of the horse.
* You will eat more hamburgers more often and the components of your vehicle will rot faster in geometric proportion to your distance from the take out window (must be vista).
* Armies changing sides because of civil war will step out of column and meekly fall on their swords.
* The American civil war will end in six months as it is over run and quickly occupied by well placed Union troops who have prepared years in advance for the opportunity.
* Americans can vote in national elections every year until they get a party that they don't hate. Or hate less than the others. But it still ignores all pending legislation unless submitted by some supernatural unseen leader.
* While no one has ever built a printer or newspaper, we have the option to shut them down if they ever do .
* Capitalists exist to spend money on railroads. It's more fun that watching army ants eat a locust.
* If you build a railroad at the edge of town you can not build a port in the harbor.
* I can spend decades researching irrelevant technologies everyone else knows, then buy build and destroy all the primitive rails in order until thirty years later I have what everyone else has because they finally ran out of new things to research. But I still don't know why I did this instead of paying one of their stupid capitalists to build a modern rail for me 30 years ago.
* I learned that instead of training my troops to elite levels I should execute them and raise a whole new army of raw recruits that know how march in pretty clothes and drink wine instead of moonshine.
* I can learn a new tech and all my units and factories will instantly know and be able to use that technology and all my existing stocks and arms will magically upgrade.
* If I run faster I can get in front of a retreating army running for its life and be dug in and waiting for it in its crib.
* I never get tired of doing that.
* Capitalists believe that, if there are no railroads to build, throwing money at random projects in random locations is fun.
* Capitalists are too stupid to borrow from the bank not realizing how much more random fun they could have with OPM.
* State Capitalism regimes believe that they should build everything everywhere all the time.
* Even if you have no coal mine or access to the sea you must, and more amazingly can, learn all about these things.
* Prices look pretty when plotted graphically and no one cares what anything costs.
* Send your minions to kill hobbits early and often (yes, I know, but why take the chance?).
* Legislatures don't care if i go to war.
* Legislatures don't care about anything unless I propose it.
* No other country cares if you set high tariffs because they have no clue that you are fucking them.
* Being pretty allows you to buy things whereas offering more money is useless because sellers only care if you are pretty.
* Buyers will buy anything at any price if they have the money. But some evil god set a max price.
* Because Capitalists exist solely to spend money, they don't care about demand or cash flow even if they do care about margins. Probably because it is pretty.
* Bureaucrats can work without paper.
* Most people that matter were invented.
Things I would like to learn:
* How to build a railroad fort and a port at the same time in the same province, given that I have the resources. I can chew gum and walk, why not this?
* How to build a (railroad, port, fort) at my present level of technology rather than starting with the HO scale model first and proceeding sequentially through all possible incrementation until at last I arrive at what I intended in the first place.
* As the invisible supernatural leader of my people, where the hell is my ring?
* Why, if some ass declares war on me, I still get infamy if I demand anything in compensation for all the damage?
* How did Britain get ten times the military of the entire world and not even go bankrupt under the weight or strip its nation of trees? They must have a ring.
* Why, if I put all those nice artillery pieces in my nice big fort the army there doesn't use them or shoot at ships.
* How to build AA units.
* How to build a blimp.
* Where I can find aluminum. I hear that is real useful to build real functional planes with.
* Why my planes can't find and sink their ships.
* Dr. Zarkov, my wizards scientist, tells me I can build something pretty hot with uranium and that his boy Flesh Gordon can deliver it in his rocket to that place that's never seen sunshine before. Where can I find that magical stuff?
* Why the wife and kiddies of my worker/soldier fall over dead when he dies. Can't they just try plural marriage. Hell, I got a stable.
* why I'm not making shitloads of money from all those canals. What, they never heard of tolls?
* How I can siphon money out of my country into my private account at Dr. Evil's Swiss bank, and why that shouldn't count for double the usual scoring.
* Why can't my navies competently capture the opposing ships? Really, 'cause, at least until guns are so powerful that things get blown out of the water first, they usually have to go on board and fight them hand to hand in order to win. And it's a lot cheaper than building my own boats.
* Why can't my voodoo clerics make a decent zombie? Or do I have to invent George Romero?