Let the ruling classes tremble – an Interactive Revolutionary AAR

[Seek75]

And a complimentary Big Mac from us Americans!

And some fine New York style cheese cake, from here in the Manhattan Commune.

[Tommy4ever]

I feel obligated to throw some hagus and a deep fried mars bar into the mix for this feast of the secular winter festival.

[Konnigratz]

I feel obligated to throw some hagus and a deep fried mars bar into the mix for this feast of the secular winter festival.

We should never, ever, impose Deep-fried Mars Bars onto the rest of the world.
Oh, and don't forget the IRN BRU!

[BigBadBob]

Just throwing an idea out here, but wouldn't it be wonderfully twisted if the VSVR had terrorists who are trying to impose an American style democracy?

PS. Finland contributes to the Marxmas feast with... ummm... some sausages. Oh! Our present to comrade Lenin was a proletariat sauna!

[Dyranum]

I feel compelled to contribute with some quality Surströmming, Tunnbröd and Grynost.

[Kodos666]

The Thuringian Peoples Party throws in some Bratwurst and Klöße. (I know, that don't really make any kind of useful meal, but that what's our area is famous for).

[enf91]

The Jews send rugelach, blintzes, cholent, kugel, bagels, lox, whitefish, gefilte fish, and matzah. Specifically so that we can say "there, we donated" even though nobody ate any.

[keynes2.0]

As a yankee socialist living underground in the CSA, I'll offer some muskrat and scrapple to the secular winter feast!

[winsingtonIII]

From The People's Confederation of New England, I send clam chowder and lobster!

[Xanthippus]

As a vegetarian I send veggies and tofu!

Also it is time the matter of animal liberation came to the fore in the VSVR. We can't truly be free while our animal comrades live in bondage!

[Enewald]

As a vegetarian I send veggies and tofu!

Also it is time the matter of animal liberation came to the fore in the VSVR. We can't truly be free while our animal comrades live in bondage!

In fact, we should give up meat-eating as a bourgeoisie method of living and embrace vegetarianism in the name of the revolution.
Those who refuse this progress should naturally be shot.
If we stop livestock producing, we can produce much more grain and other more important resources to feed the ever-growing proletariat.

[yourworstnightm]

While we definitely should abandon a bourgeois diet, I disagree about giving up meat altogether. This revolution has finally given the Proletariat access to good protein rich meat. However we must of course eat it differently than the darned capitalists.

[Raph]

In fact, we should give up meat-eating as a bourgeoisie method of living and embrace vegetarianism in the name of the revolution.
Those who refuse this progress should naturally be shot.
If we stop livestock producing, we can produce much more grain and other more important resources to feed the ever-growing proletariat.

As mad as you, as usual, sound, there is a grain () of truth in this. It's a well-known ecological principle that 90% of the energy is lost for each tier in the food chain. In general, it's much more efficient to eat vegetables or grains directly rather than having animals eat them. Protein could be obtained from, for instance, protein-rich peas and beans, and from fish.

[Morrell8]

So it is agreed, the people of the VSVR shall now only consume vegetables, fish and grain. All Cows, Chickens, Pigs, Sheep and other land animals used to feed the population shall be summarily executed.

[Tommy4ever]

Since its been so long since the last update and you've all been so good I've decided to give you a late Marxmus present. It's going to be a short update about an important sporting event that shall occur in 1894 in the VSVR. The update shall also include a spoiler that hints at a couple of new countries who are set to join the Comintern by that date. It should be up sometime today.

[Morrell8]

Since its been so long since the last update and you've all been so good I've decided to give you a late Marxmus present. It's going to be a short update about an important sporting event that shall occur in 1894 in the VSVR. The update shall also include a spoiler that hints at a couple of new countries who are set to join the Comintern by that date. It should be up sometime today.

Thanks very much Tommy!

[yourworstnightm]

Sweet, I wonder if the Olympic Games will be revived by the Socialist nations in this TL. Poor Capitalists, have to travel to the Socialist Utopia if they want Glory.

[BigBadBob]

Since its been so long since the last update and you've all been so good I've decided to give you a late Marxmus present. It's going to be a short update about an important sporting event that shall occur in 1894 in the VSVR. The update shall also include a spoiler that hints at a couple of new countries who are set to join the Comintern by that date. It should be up sometime today.

Mein mouth ist waterin'.
Hmm... Big sportin' event eh? Sounds like the perfect place for some democracy-bombs...

[Xanthippus]

While we definitely should abandon a bourgeois diet, I disagree about giving up meat altogether. This revolution has finally given the Proletariat access to good protein rich meat. However we must of course eat it differently than the darned capitalists.

Nutritionally there's nothing meat has that you can't also get fom veggies. Just takes more effort to balance your diet and make sure you get everything you need. And as mentioened, a lot of energy is wasted with each step up the food chain. With the grain used to feed cows for farming around the world alone we could abolish famine.

Anyhow, I believe the world should make the switch personally, but I mostly brought it up as a joke. To try to switch food production exclusively to veggies with 19th century technology, in the throes of global revolution, would no doubt be chaotic at best, and disastrous at worst. It would be interesting to see animal liberationists and perhaps a green party pop their heads up in VSVR politics, though.

Thanks very much Tommy!

Seconded!

[Tommy4ever]

World Cup 1894



Today football is the most internationally significant sport on the planet and the World Cup is a sporting festival of unparalleled popularity. But what are the origins of this sport? What was it like when men were men and women were women?

Football as we know it today developed in the British Isles during the mid 19th century. In 1872 the first international was played between England and Scotland and from this moment on the game started to spread across the world. During the 1870s and 1880s Brits abroad introduced the sport to Continental Europe, Asia, South and North Asia. It took on in Europe and South America, was largely ignored in Asia and eclipsed by other, unquestionably inferior, sports in North America. In 1888 the Comintern states formed the Confederation of International Football Associations (CIFA), however CIFA had not one member outside of the Comintern. Initially disgusted the British Associations refused to join the group and formed their own league of Associations. Meanwhile the South American teams and several European formed a 3rd Association called the Union of Intercontinental Football Associations (UIFA). These 3 federations each played under slightly different rules and refused to allow for games to be played between teams of different federations. In 1893 the British Associations and CIFA agreed to merge into a new, centralised, international football association called the Federation of International Football Associations (FIFA). FIFA was to have its headquarters in Switzerland – a country with little interest in football. On a high from unification FIFA proposed that an international football tournament be held forthwith to celebrate the internationalism of the game. The VSVR was chosen as the host nation, the inaugural World Cup was to be attended by 12 Comintern nations from 3 continents and the 4 Home Nations of Britain.



The 16 teams attending were split into 4 groups, each group chosen by lot with the only non-random factor being the fact that the British Home Nations were guaranteed to not be drawn against one another (at their own request). The host nation, the VSVR, was touted to be hot favourites yet both England and Scotland could boast more recognised squads of players. Only the group winners were to qualify.



The VSVR’s first match was against the greatest unknown factor in the competition – the Filipinos. Unlike the other teams who had made their own way to Germany the Philippine team had required a subsidy from the Comintern to make the journey. Most of the European teams had some knowledge of each other but virtually no one had seen any of Asia’s only representatives in action.

In the end it was clear that the VSVR had nothing to fear. They ran out 7-1 victors.



The next game, against the feared Welsh, proved to be much more interesting. During the first half the VSVR came out with an all out bombardment on the Welsh goal. Hoping to smash them as they had the Filipinos. However the Welsh possessed a goalkeeper, Tom Jones, of remarkable ability. For 45 minutes he kept his team in the game, flinging himself from post to and dominating in his box. At Half Time the score was 0-0 and the VSVR had landed 8 shots on target to just the single Welsh on target strike. At this stage the Welsh brought on the player D. Thomas. Thomas proved to be a revelation in the 2nd half, the creative midfielder refused to stay in position (perhaps why he had not started) but his meandering dribbles and impressive skill on the ball completely turned the match around. No longer were the Germans cruising, they were now coming under serious pressure. However the score remained goalless as despite his talents Thomas was time and time again thwarted by the hardy VSVR defence. Then in the 88th minute Thomas won a free kick on the edge of the box. Oddly goalkeeper Tom Jones decided to come up from his own half to take it (eyewitnesses reported how he bellowed up to Thomas just as he was preparing himself for a shot). Jones smashed the ball into the back of the net and Wales ran out 1-0 winners. The VSVR was in trouble.

Going into the final two games the Welsh had 4 points (having beaten the VSVR and drawn with Denmark), the Danes had 4 (having beaten the Philippines and drawn with Wales), the Philippines 0 (losing 7-1 to the VSVR and 5-0 to Denmark) and the VSVR 3. This meant that the VSVR had to beat Denmark and hope that the Philippines could provide them with a miracle by holding off Wales.

The VSVR played their final group game the day before Wales and in an impressive match they ran out 4-2 winners (scoring twice in the final 5 minutes to secure the win). This meant that with a win Wales would go through, but anything else would see the VSVR qualify for the semi-final.



The stadium in Krakow was packed to the rafters with 70,000 fans. Whilst almost all were VSVR citizens, as one fan put it ‘’we are all Filipinos today’’. The crowd were strongly against the Welsh. However, despite the partisan crowd, a Thomas inspired first half sent the Welsh in 3-1 up at half time and in no real danger. However during the break Thomas suffered an injury, falling down a flight of stairs whilst on the way to the toilet, and was unable to come on for the second half. The jarred Welsh side were taken by surprise as the Filipinos scored an early goal to make it 3-2. After this shock the Welsh side brought the game back under control but without their star player they lacked creativity at the sharp end of the pitch. Yet at the same time the Filipinos were denied chances to shoot on goal. Then in the 82nd minute a defensive error allowed the Filipino front man a one on one with the keeper and the audacious Spanish born forward chipped it over Jones to make the score 3-3 – with this score the VSVR would qualify by a single point. However in the final minute of the game the Filipino captain head butted a Welsh player in his own box (allegedly for questioning the Filipino’s sister’s virginity), giving away a penalty. The heroic goalkeeper of the VSVR game, Tom Jones, decided to come up from his goal to secure a semi-final for Wales with the final kick of the game. The burly Welsh man jogged up, non-chalantly, to take the kick but slipped on a patch of mud – skying the ball into the crowd. As if a single human entity 70,000 fans leaped into the air, moments later (with Jones in near tears), the referee blew the final whistle. The VSVR was in the semi-final.



The VSVR successfully made it to the penultimate round of the tournament. In Group B 4 teams, all roughly equal in ability, slogged it out to the death. The lucky Irish came out on top as the only unbeaten team in the group – finishing with 5 points after beating Greece and drawing with Sweden and the Netherlands.

Group C provided the most surprises. England had entered the World Cup as one of the prime favourites, indeed the London based British press had effectively crowned them champions in waiting before they even arrived in Germany. Yet they provided the worst display of any team in the competition as they failed to win a single point. However their hopelessness is perhaps exaggerated by their final points tally – they did in fact score 4 against Chile, 3 against the CSR and 6 against Finland, never losing a game by more than 2 goals. Chile, meanwhile, was the revelation of the group as they fired in 15 goals in three games (more than any other side).

The final Group was perhaps the only one to go as expected. An experienced and talented Scottish side won all its games, letting in just 2 goals in the process, whilst a hopeless Cuban team went home with one point from a goalless draw with an almost equally hopeless Spain side. Meanwhile Italy went into their final game with the Scots ahead on goal difference and with confidence before suffering a 3-0 lashing from the inspired side.

In the semi the VSVR was drawn against Chile and Scotland against Ireland.



The first semi-final to be played was Scotland vs Ireland. The normally unbreakable Scots defence suffered a total meltdown on the night as Ireland scored 4 times. However the Scots were on the ball and managed to net 4 goals of their own. This left the officials with a rather unexpected problem – FIFA had failed to create a rule to settle a knock-out fixture if it was drawn at full time. The players were left to wait for ½ an hour as FIFA officials were rushed in to make a decision. In the end they decided that each side should take 5 penalties and the team who scores the most should win. So the penalty shootout was born. The Scottish players scored each of their 5 penalties with ease and as the Irish centre back, Dara O’Briain, stepped up for the Irish’ 5th they too had not missed one. Yet Dara smashed it straight at the Scottish keeper and sent his side crashing out. Scotland was going to Cologne for the World Cup Final.

The VSVR’s semi was a much less enthralling affair. The unique and aggressive Chilean style failed them against a more disciplined side and the VSVR efficiently crushed them – winning 5-2. It was after this game that the VSVR skipper famously quipped ‘’Football is a simple game; 22 men chase a ball for 90 minutes and at the end, the Germans win.’’

With the expectations of more than 100 million people on their shoulders the VSVR team went into the first ever World Cup Final against a side representing just 5 million people. With home advantage on their side the VSVR was tipped as narrow favourites for the game at the Arena of the People.



The Scots took an early lead on 17 minutes. A ball was chipped into the VSVR box, headed across from just wide of the goal and then sent searing into the back of the net by a fearsome volley. Yet rather than knock the VSVR team down this only energised them. For the next 35 minutes they pushed hard against the Scots, pelting their goal with shots and forcing the Scottish goalkeeper into several impressive save. However just as the half came to a close a lightening Scottish counterattack end with the ball gliding along the turf into the back of the VSVR net. Halftime. Scotland 2 VSVR 0.

The Second Half did not start well for the VSVR side trying to pull back as in the first minute a Scottish midfielder sent a header crashing against the underside of the bar, apparently crossing the line before the keeper scooped it away. However the linesman disallowed the goal to the chagrin of the Scottish team. However with a reasonably strong lead and a rock hard defence the Scots put up little protest. They would have wished that they had as on 51 minutes a VSVR winger cut inside and with his weaker foot sent a fearsome drive into the back of the net. Scotland 2 VSVR 1.



Just 5 minutes later the goal of the tournament was scored to equalise things. A stout legged Walloon picked up the ball for the VSVR just within his own half and successfully beat 6 Scottish players as he pranced his way through the best defence on earth pirouetting, jinking and flicking his way to glory.

After the equaliser things seemed to calm down as the Scots made a double change to rework their midfield, allowing them to take greater control over the middle of the park where they were previously suffering. However this deadlock was to be broken as the VSVR scored twice in 3 minutes on 67 and 69 minutes to send themselves into a 4-2 lead. The crowd was bubbling into a frenzy and the Scottish players seemed to be dejected.

It was at this moment as two very different players stepped up to the plate. The maverick youngster George Galloway and the seasoned pro Billy Connolly. On 79 minutes these two players passed the ball 3 times between themselves as they dodged their way through half the VSVR team before Galloway smashed the ball into the back of the VSVR net. Then on 85 minutes Connolly burst down the wing before pinging in a cross which Galloway bicycle kicked passed the keep to make it 4-4.

The game had again been changed and things seemed to be heading for another penalty shootout. This was when the VSVR forward W. Brandt seized a wayward pass from a Scottish defender on 88 minutes and with a burst of pace approached the Scottish goal. Seeing the goalkeeper coming off his line the confident Brandt decided to go for the chip over the keeper. The ball rose up and left the keeper on the ground as he tumbled, failing to contort his body to leap up and stop it, as the ball started to fall it was unclear whether it would fall above or below the bar. The entire stadium took a collective gasp. Then it bounced off the top of the bar. Screams, groans and whimpers swept across the Arena as the ball bounced back over Brandt’s head and fell to a Scottish defender who hoofed it in the other direction.

Around half way Galloway picked the ball up, elbowing a VSVR player in the chest in the process, and fired an inch perfect pass up the pitch to Connolly. Connolly tried to take the ball on the volley to smash it into the back of the net but scuffed it badly – sending it spinning back into the centre of the box. John Smith, recently arrived in the box, stopped the ball and then simply passed the ball into the back of the net to score his first and last goal for Scotland.

5-4

Scotland were world champions!



George Galloway was ecstatic.