The Adventures of King Radama

[Stuyvesant]

Of course...since poor farmers aren't allowed to vote anyway he probably hadn't encountered this situation before...Oh! Voter Fraud! He was a Felon! Okay. Conscience clear!

I checked and saw that, indeed, the game refers to the poor soul as a farmer. Sometimes the game really does hand the gems over on a silver platter (if you are looking out for them).

Here's hoping that your adventures in Ethiopia go better than those in Zulu. Perhaps there are some Italians who can give you some advice...

[Alfredian]

Could the glass-bottomed boats be a sign of Madagascar's scientific advancement. An early method of detecting the (not yet properly invented) submarine? Very cunning of them.

[Morsky]

A bold move indeed. Perhaps King Radama will take the place of Ras Tafari a hundred years down the line. His Majesty certainly rules as if inspired by copious amounts of da herb.

[Alfred Packer]

Ethiopia, Zulu, nobody cares as long as they're conquered! Oh, and maybe glass hulls are demoralising, let's see after next update!

I don't know how you can demoralize the Madagascarian Army...if not paying them anything for 20 years doesn't do it, nothing will!

Damn... I was hoping you'd get even with the Zulus.

They're still on the hit list...you know...assuming Britain implodes or something.

Huh, why so many religions on your isle?
Kill the heathens, assimilate them.

I don't know why, but the Catholics are spreading like hotcakes (is that right?). I wanted good upstanding Protestants, but whatever...medical experiments are useful too.

Just make sure you put enough men in the boat this time, Ethiopia starts with 9 brigades, and plenty of mountains to welcome you in...

They did start with 9 brigades, but that big chunk of Ethiopia in Egypt's hands tells me this may be easier than I could hope!

I checked and saw that, indeed, the game refers to the poor soul as a farmer. Sometimes the game really does hand the gems over on a silver platter (if you are looking out for them).

Here's hoping that your adventures in Ethiopia go better than those in Zulu. Perhaps there are some Italians who can give you some advice...

The Italians said to wait for the Ethiopian Army to be destroyed by someone else, then jump them!

Could the glass-bottomed boats be a sign of Madagascar's scientific advancement. An early method of detecting the (not yet properly invented) submarine? Very cunning of them.

Madagascar: Land of Innovation!

A bold move indeed. Perhaps King Radama will take the place of Ras Tafari a hundred years down the line. His Majesty certainly rules as if inspired by copious amounts of da herb.

And the capitalists can build a Cheetos factory! We'll be rich!

[Alfred Packer]

1858 - 1860






Well, I can see that Ethiopia has about 6,000 men under arms and...GLEE! I was just going to humiliate them, but we can get a full on COLONY out of this!







Just to be safe, I sent another division into Ethiopia.







And then a third one, pushing the invasion force to 18,000.







Which prompts the Ethiopian Army to abandon its well thought out defensive plan of "sitting around playing cards" and instead switch tactics to "kill the invaders with guns, or in our case pointy sticks since all we have are 6,000 irregulars."







Really, neither strategy was particularly effective.







So we got our first colony. All Hail King Radama, ruler of the Empire of Madagascar!






And now that we are a Colonial Powerhouse, just like our Westernized Idols, we get to engage in the great Western Passtime of killing unruly natives with guns!

How very proper!

[aldriq]

Let's hope all these imperial titles are not affecting King Radama's good judgement... Like going for Egypt for the title of pharaoh...

[Tanzhang (譚張)]

It's kinda ironic you're first colony is landlocked and in the middle of nowhere, no? Go after Sokoto next!

[Murmurandus]

Huzzah! Praise the Lord! God save the King! Rule Madagascar, Madagascar rules the waves! Etc. etc.

[Tommy4ever]

What do you still need to Westernise?

[Enewald]

Yay, you are no longer the worst country!
Or maybe you are since you did annex the worst country...

[Boris ze Spider]

Just read it all in one go, i have never read anything so funny in my life.

[Stuyvesant]

Maybe you should call it quits now: surely this is the closest to perfection that Madagascar ever gets? A successful invasion, resulting in actual colonial conquest (albeit, as noted, a landlocked dump in the middle of nowhere), a fun colonial uprising... It all has to be downhill from here, all the way (all two inches of it) down to the bottom, right?

I enjoyed the tone of this update, especially the discussion of Ethiopian military strategy.

[Alfredian]

This almost matches the description of an ideal colonial war from the 4th series of Blackadder. I hope those Eithiopians were not armed with anything more than sharpened fruit.

[Athalcor]

I just read whole this and also some pieces of Crovans ( I found you through your Vicky2 mod question ) and I had to add you to my personal list of Best AAR writers ever!

[AlexanderPrimus]

And a target for our first Colonial War! The Zulu. They are not only very close, but armed with spears, while we have actual guns. The prestige gains will help us on the path to Westernization. Plus, next time I sit down with the British Ambassador, we can have Western conversations like

“So, how is your colonial war going?"
"Great, so far we have killed many natives with our guns, while they only have spears!”
“How prestigious!”
Then we will have a sherry. Or maybe tea.

So this is where you've been hiding, Alfred old boy!
A thoroughly amusing AAR you've got going here. I especially enjoyed the part quoted above. Radama has obviously never seen the likes of this!

[scholar]

It's good so far, I hope it get's updated again real soon!

[Tanzhang (譚張)]

I certainly hope you're not abandoning this Alfred, not before King Radama gets his hands on some Protestant Fascist Japanese Proletarians at least...

[safferli]

How could I have missed this AAR? And it's by the great Alfred Packer, to boot! I just stumbled on this while compiling the V2 librAARy, and had a very amusing 15minutes on this lovely Friday afternoon. My personal favourite line was

Huh. It seems they do, in fact, have a Royal Navy. And an Ammunition Budget.

Comedy gold! And the civilised ambassador talk on killing off natives armed with spears, and then drinking sherry was grand as well. A pity you seemed to have stopped updating, with westernisation peeking round the corner(?)

Anyhow, thanks for a great read, and some amusing minutes. You have a gift, sir, a gift of always bringing a smile on my face when I read your AARs. And smiles are a wonderful thing to gift to others.