The Adventures of King Radama

Alfred Packer · Sep 15, 2010

Murmurandus said:
Maybe he can sell his palace...

Oh, wait... He can't...

What? I'm sure that thing would fetch...what? A tenner?

Morsky said:
Tax 'em to the bone! It's not like the notoriously efficient and fearsome Malagasy Internal Revenue Service will be able to actually collect 100% of everything they own. Also, perhaps you should lower the stockpile slider.

"My loyal subjects, the time has come to tighten our belts. And by 'our', I mean your belts."

They'd collect it. It would just move Tax Collectors into the Rich bracket

theokrat said:
never ever trust the numbers on 1/1/1836

That is the truth!

Kazmir said:
The mother's stolen watch could have been handy in this situation. I believe such a family heirloom could have been pawned for a decent amount of cash.

You should research for the freedom of trade if you want to get rid of those monetary problems. Your income usually sky-rockets when the ports are opened to the filthy westerners.

Didn't think about that at the time. I did switch to private banks, but expect Freedom of Trade to be next on the hit list!

Enewald said:
Looks like you want debt. Debt is good if you have no plans of paying it back.

That's the Madagascar Motto!

Stuyvesant said:
Nice.

This should be promising. And, as I'm only half a game ahead of you (with Belgium - I didn't dare going any lower on the totem pole), it should even prove educational. Which the dear King, with his public school background, should find most uplifting.

What's funny is: I was afraid to go any higher! As much as I love Vicky (1&2) I am horrendously bad at them.

And yes, being a beacon of learning should warm the dear King's heart

badger_ken said:
Bravo! Off to a fine start!

thanks!

Tommy4ever said:
Don't even bother thinking about your debt. You can and will pay it back later. It was a bad idea not to pick freedom of trade right off the bat, most uncivs and small civs cannot get a budget surplus without it but will easily make a surplus with it. Freedom of Trade is probably the most important tech in the entire game. Do you plan on going to war soon? If not then my the army tech?

erm. yeah, about the war

aldriq said:
And I thought Ethiopia started poor in 1836 You are going to have to tax every lemur and chameleon in sight to stay afloat... On the bright side, you have a smaller proportion of slaves, so surely your population is poorer but happier

I don't know...the slaves are the only ones getting 100% luxury goods while everyone else is struggling to get basic needs (what is luxury goods for slaves: less senseless beatings than usual? What a luxury!)

theokrat said:
Having a closer look: 80% of your spending is to build up national stockpile... what is it that is needed that much? Without your deficit would merely be 5£ a day (ok that's still twice as much expenses than income, but there is always FoT).

So any early military adventures I guess?

heh...maaaayyyybbbeee...

josephusdaniels said:
Good stuff and a very healthy dose of humour thrown in too. Consider me following!

Thanks, and welcome aboard!

Alfred Packer · Sep 15, 2010

1836-1841: I guess these are the 'Learning Years'

1836-1841

It seems I owe certain Stockpile Ministers an apology. I ordered the construction of a Royal Navy and then forgot about them. So this crushing new debt is really my fault.

To stop the financial bleeding, I ordered a 40% tariff. As you can see, bribes, kickbacks, graft and outright theft are a regular part of Malagasy Custom’s Officer’s financial compensation, so the Royal Coffers only see about 8% of the money.

I’ve ordered EMVRTC to stop researching Post-Napoleonic Thought immediately and instead try to uncover the Formula for Private Banks.

Which was just as well. They were running experiments to see if Napoleonic Fence posts could support chicken wire.

The import duties on Discredited French Royals would have sunk the economy quickly.

But I digress. What’s important is that I now have a Royal Navy, just like England!

1836-09-29aspartofourcivilizationplan-invasionofZuluforprestigegains.jpg

And a target for our first Colonial War! The Zulu. They are not only very close, but armed with spears, while we have actual guns. The prestige gains will help us on the path to Westernization. Plus, next time I sit down with the British Ambassador, we can have Western conversations like

“So, how is your colonial war going?"

"Great, so far we have killed many natives with our guns, while they only have spears!”

“How prestigious!”

Then we will have a sherry. Or maybe tea.

Alright Zulus: prepare to be humiliated!

The Navy went ahead and blockaded the coast, but the 2,000 man Madagascar Expeditionary Force refused to land. Something about Quarter Pay and 27,000 Zulu warriors. The Colonel of the Division assured me that he did explain to them that the Zulus only had spears, while we have guns. Apparently though, with our current military budget, those guns are really just unwieldy clubs, since I have inadvertently slashed the Ammunition Budget for 1836 as part of my balancing of the budget.

Oh well, blockade it is. Its not like the Zulus have a Royal Navy or anything.

Huh. It seems they do, in fact, have a Royal Navy. And an Ammunition Budget.

1837-08-19ontheplusside-losingafulldivisionandthewholenavyshouldmakeforbigbudgetsavings.jpg

And. Um. Cannons. On the plus side, losing a whole Division and the Royal Navy should make for some great budget savings. Also on the plus side: the Zulus decided to just offer us a White Peace.

1840-02-02Wellthisisbetterthanfailedwarsathelpinguswesternize.jpg

Naked four-armed men: the Harbingers of Westernization.

The United States have offered us a Military Mission. I guess they feel sorry for us over the whole Zulu Fleet incident. Whatever. I’ll take Pity Westernization.

1841-01-12forsomereasonIvebeenappointingalotofLiberals-dontreallyknowwhy.jpg

It has come to my attention that Royal Party support in the House of Lords has dropped from 79% to a mere 63% since I took office.

Since I appoint every member of the House, I guess I just assumed it would be 100%. I will probably start asking candidates a few questions before making appointments.

1841-02-27ohwow-forgotIorderedthosetwobrigadesofregulars.jpg

Huh. I forgot I ordered those two Brigades of Regular, Western Infantry.

Owing that much money to Britain is probably a bad thing, right? I mean. I want Madagascar to be like Britain, not a conquered and wholly owned subsidiary of Britain!

I shall have to do something about this.

Next time.

unmerged(96639) · Sep 15, 2010

Blast! A minor setback, I'm sure. Besides, those ungrateful cowards deserved a visit to Davy Jones' locker. Don't feel like going on an insane suicide mission against impossible odds, eh? Well, joke's on you, 'cause you're dead now!

Lily-livered lemur worshippers, the lot of them.

Hopefully His Majesty can assemble a proper Royal Army (and Royal Navy) and shaka up those Zulus. (What an awful Punjab. Forgive me, for I have Sindh.

) Those naked four-armed men will hopefully help Madagascar progress faster - they can do twice as much research as regular clothed two-armed men. Also, everyone knows nudity is a necessary prerequisite for scientific advancement - take Archimedes, for example.

Kazmir · Sep 15, 2010

These are just minor setbacks! Time to rebuild the royal navy and pile up the bullets.

theokrat · Sep 15, 2010

Alfred Packer said:
[
To stop the financial bleeding, I ordered a 40% tariff. As you can see, bribes, kickbacks, graft and outright theft are a regular part of Malagasy Custom’s Officer’s financial compensation, so the Royal Coffers only see about 8% of the money.

That's pretty pointless my dearest king. See the money is not lost but the inefficiency merely means out subjects are quite good at avoiding the tariffs. Your majesty could simply increase the nominal tariff level and would thereby achieve exactly the same as by allowing private banks, altough I understand your desire to prequel the founding of the Birmingham and Midland Bank in Union Street that will commence this August 1936.

Murmurandus · Sep 15, 2010

Mmm, I guess every Empire has its Zulu Issues...

And next time try to find an even weaker 'victim'...

Enewald · Sep 15, 2010

Have a 100% tariff. Your people do not need foreign crap.

aldriq · Sep 15, 2010

Morsky said:
Those naked four-armed men will hopefully help Madagascar progress faster - they can do twice as much research as regular clothed two-armed men.

I think the idea is that if you move your arms fast enough you can propel yourself into the future... Leonardo failed but I have every confidence King Radama will pull it off

Quacky · Sep 15, 2010

Revenge! The Zulu fleet must be destroyed!

That sure was a bit of a botched operation, oops.

Stuyvesant · Sep 16, 2010

Plus, next time I sit down with the British Ambassador, we can have Western conversations like

“So, how is your colonial war going?"

"Great, so far we have killed many natives with our guns, while they only have spears!”

“How prestigious!”

Then we will have a sherry. Or maybe tea.

Splendid! Huzzah! That by itself ought to be a valid Casus Belli: "Impress your British Ambassador Friend".

Yes, it was a bit of a setback, but these are truly the learning years for a young King. I'm sure the experience will prove invaluable down the line...

unmerged(213756) · Sep 16, 2010

I assume were in a diffirent universe because The Crovans Conqured the world in real life,or so says my Crovan History Book.

unmerged(96639) · Sep 16, 2010

Stuyvesant said:
Splendid! Huzzah! That by itself ought to be a valid Casus Belli: "Impress your British Ambassador Friend".

Yes, it was a bit of a setback, but these are truly the learning years for a young King. I'm sure the experience will prove invaluable down the line...

Quite. After all, botched naval invasions are as British as afternoon tea.

Tmac · Sep 16, 2010

Unicilized African minor AAR... that can only end well.

Ivir Baggins · Sep 17, 2010

history dude said:
I assume were in a diffirent universe because The Crovans Conqured the world in real life,or so says my Crovan History Book.

They haven't conquered it yet. They're still trying to conquer themselves.

Alfred Packer · Sep 20, 2010

Morsky said:
Blast! A minor setback, I'm sure. Besides, those ungrateful cowards deserved a visit to Davy Jones' locker. Don't feel like going on an insane suicide mission against impossible odds, eh? Well, joke's on you, 'cause you're dead now! Lily-livered lemur worshippers, the lot of them.

Hopefully His Majesty can assemble a proper Royal Army (and Royal Navy) and shaka up those Zulus. (What an awful Punjab. Forgive me, for I have Sindh. ) Those naked four-armed men will hopefully help Madagascar progress faster - they can do twice as much research as regular clothed two-armed men. Also, everyone knows nudity is a necessary prerequisite for scientific advancement - take Archimedes, for example.

That is quite true. The Cowardly Seamen should have rammed the enemy! None of that sitting around waiting for a sinking crapola!

Kazmir said:
These are just minor setbacks! Time to rebuild the royal navy and pile up the bullets.

Well, we built a better Royal Army as a prerequisite!

theokrat said:
That's pretty pointless my dearest king. See the money is not lost but the inefficiency merely means out subjects are quite good at avoiding the tariffs. Your majesty could simply increase the nominal tariff level and would thereby achieve exactly the same as by allowing private banks, altough I understand your desire to prequel the founding of the Birmingham and Midland Bank in Union Street that will commence this August 1936.

Yeah, see I didn't understand that. I thought the people would view it as a 40% tariff and not as the 8% I actually collected. Its that damn public schoole education.

Murmurandus said:
Mmm, I guess every Empire has its Zulu Issues...

And next time try to find an even weaker 'victim'...

Oh I try...I'm thinking Ethiopia...once I build a new navy

Enewald said:
Have a 100% tariff. Your people do not need foreign crap.

Yes. you are right. The People should live on our home industries of basket making and tears of poverty.

aldriq said:
I think the idea is that if you move your arms fast enough you can propel yourself into the future... Leonardo failed but I have every confidence King Radama will pull it off

He tried, but his arms got too tired

Quacky said:
Revenge! The Zulu fleet must be destroyed!

That sure was a bit of a botched operation, oops.

Yeah, did not go as planned!

Stuyvesant said:
Splendid! Huzzah! That by itself ought to be a valid Casus Belli: "Impress your British Ambassador Friend".

Yes, it was a bit of a setback, but these are truly the learning years for a young King. I'm sure the experience will prove invaluable down the line...

No doubt. Next time I'm bringing 3 boats!

history dude said:
I assume were in a diffirent universe because The Crovans Conqured the world in real life,or so says my Crovan History Book.

They have. This is a game of Crovania Universalis 2 gone awry.

Morsky said:
Quite. After all, botched naval invasions are as British as afternoon tea.

Good point...we'll just call it Westernization!

Tmac said:
Unicilized African minor AAR... that can only end well.

Ivir Baggins said:
They haven't conquered it yet. They're still trying to conquer themselves.

oh, and that...

Alfred Packer · Sep 20, 2010

1841-1848: Not Much Happens - But You Knew That Already

1841-1848

1841-11-15RussianAristocratshaveFrance-TurkishoneshaveMadagascar.jpg

We’re turning into a regular Paris! The Russian Aristocrats head for France…but the Turkish ones come to Madagascar!

And I’m taking the first step on paying off that crazy British loan

Now we’ve picked up a bunch of Austrian ex-pats. Seems a little inconvenient for Austrians, but whatever.

Oh we’ll reform him: into a toothless, bent-backed corpse. Now that’s REAL reform.

Speaking of reform: These private banks should help us maximize our income taxes! And no – I don’t know why.

Fools! Stop harassing the money…er…tourists!

The Aristocrats are up in arms over the reforms of my reign. Reforms? Let’s see:

Slavery: still got it!
Voting Rights: still none!
Press: still state-run!
Total Autocracy: yep!
Tough on crime: yeah, you betcha!
Crushing Debt: smaller, but surely that can’t bitch about that!

Yes. Now seems like a perfect time to protest the ‘reckless speed of reforms over the last 8 years.’

God damnit! The next time I hear a complaint about the Tourists being swarmed with your ridiculous home-made crafts, swarmed by 40 taxi drivers, or swarmed with offers to tour the home of Bob Marley who never lived on Madagascar and isn’t even born yet while smoking your idiot cousin’s ‘primo ganga,’ it will be chain gangs for life for the lot of you!

1845-04-29heresareform-politicalpartiesallowed-theyjustcantrunforoffice.jpg

Alright Aristocrats: how’s this for reform you can believe in: you can all have political parties! Aren’t you lucky!

You still can’t vote. Or determine public policy. But now you can gripe about it with like-minded individuals.

Wait. Maybe this isn’t such a good idea.

On the plus side, we’ve paid off all our debts.

To celebrate this milestone, I’ve cut everyone’s taxes to only 40% of gross income.

Except for the Middle Class, whose primary export seems to be ‘Save the Children Tele(graph)thons’ (a usually tear-jerking series of dashes and dots – though not as lucrative as one might think).

Since these clowns just sit around starving, I’ve raised the tariffs 1% and cut their taxes to a pittance: 25%.

What is this? Some sort of trick question? The slider is freely visible to all and the slider clearly says ‘No Free Speech.’ Everyone can read it. Well. 5% of them can, anyway.

He should have asked what it said.

I’ve decided to give the Aristocrats the vote. Now, if they bitch about reforms it will be in a small building and under government supervision.

And if they bitch too much, it will be very easy to block the exists and burn the whole thing down.

Even though that’s not very British. But jeez. You try governing these crazy people.

Prussia is Western, right? So this is probably a good thing?

1848-07-20huh-didnotexpecttheNationaliststoheadthecoalition.jpg

Really? You guys get the vote and immediately put the Tea Party in charge? Maybe I should be funding education a bit more.

Tommy4ever · Sep 20, 2010

Don't bother your mind with those starving aritisans. They really aren't very important and are really very difficult to please. If you do care then you'll probably need to reduce your tariffs - you see they are importing goods at too high a price and are thus unable to make much profit, meaning that they can't afford to buy important things like food and fancy clothes.

unmerged(96639) · Sep 20, 2010

I’ve decided to give the Aristocrats the vote. Now, if they bitch about reforms it will be in a small building and under government supervision.

And if they bitch too much, it will be very easy to block the exists and burn the whole thing down.

Even though that’s not very British. But jeez. You try governing these crazy people.

Not very British? Nonsense.

Excellent update. King Radama's strategy of "progressively kill off all the unruly natives until only the Westerners remain" is a particularly innovative method of Westernization. And good work on ditching the debts. Now that the Nationalists are in power, it's time to avenge the historical defeat by the Zulus and incorporate them into Greater Madagascar!

Murmurandus · Sep 20, 2010

What? No crushing debt? How unseemingly confusing!

aldriq · Sep 20, 2010

40% of your aristocrats voted Liberal? I suspect they spend their evenings chatting to Westerners and drinking Tananarivo slings

The Adventures of King Radama

Off Again

Off Again

bezrodniy kosmopolit

Keeping the ship on course

sexy shoeless god of dice

Crusader for Fun and Profit

Enewald Enewald Enewald

Part Time Warp

First Lieutenant

Field Marshal

Sergeant

bezrodniy kosmopolit

First Lieutenant

General

Off Again

Off Again

Papa Bear

bezrodniy kosmopolit

Crusader for Fun and Profit

Part Time Warp