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1. I say he deserves at least 5 pink buttons.
2. That's many birds with one stone! Clearly, Khandeshi scientists are onto something with their multidirectional Declarations of War.
2. That's many birds with one stone! Clearly, Khandeshi scientists are onto something with their multidirectional Declarations of War.
'My Nation Is Bigger Than Yours' policy is recommended by 9 of 10 Evil Oppressors (oh, pardon - Liberators).
Ahm, I expect Khandesh to take Punjab's interests into account while negotiating the peace deal after, no doubt victorious, war. And reward its ally with a province or two. Wouldn't this magnanimity show these Punjabi how one should treat their ally? Isn't teaching through demonstration the best way of getting a message across?
*laughs*
Very good.
I always have difficulty thinking something up for these type of tag lines.
I agree with Gabor ... here's your chance to show that a real empire/collection of disinterested liberators teach by example. On the other hand ... there are other examples to set -- like forgetting you are at war with a large land-locked nation nowhere near you.
I like to think that Miran found out Khandesh was still at war with Golden Horde when he invited their ambassadors to a banquet and was subsequently confused as to why they were so nervous and hostile throughout the whole affair. Only at the end would Hemant remind him the two countries were still at war. 
Anyway, you seem to be sailing fairly close to the wind with regards to infamy. Not much fun fighting wars if you can't keep any of the territory you capture.
Anyway, you seem to be sailing fairly close to the wind with regards to infamy. Not much fun fighting wars if you can't keep any of the territory you capture.
Glad to see this back! And this new ruler is truly inspirational - cunning, always in control, with no fear of pokers...
I'm somehow disappointed that the new heir was not fathered by him, though. We all know how medical science in Kandesh is second to none, so I was expecting that distance-insemination techniques would have been mastered by now... buttery-curtain-aided techniques, of course
I'm somehow disappointed that the new heir was not fathered by him, though. We all know how medical science in Kandesh is second to none, so I was expecting that distance-insemination techniques would have been mastered by now... buttery-curtain-aided techniques, of course
As always an excellent read. I too at times find that taking some enemy's land that I crave isn't always enough...some poor fool still wants to continue fighting...even if they can't reach you to draw any blood.
Thank you profusely for the replies!
Boris ze Spider - In all honesty I probably will not win! At present nearly all of my foes are neighbours and thus the need for a navy has not yet arisen. Should I get closer to Europe, I'll look towards establishing a navy then.
RGB - 1. I cannot agree more, at the very least five. However it is the colour I am unsure of. He is perhaps not quite worthy of bright pink as of yet. Perhaps a beige for now.
2. Indeed! Yet another wonderful result of the increased levels of innovation now flooding through the realm.
Athalcor - How true! It is the casus belli of choice for the modern and forward thinking tyran-uh, peaceful liberator!
gabor - Quite so! Truly Khandesh should turn the other cheek and show by example how Punjab should treat her allies. Always show an ally courtesy, loyalty, share with them the spoils of victory and turn on them whenever you get the chance. Wait...
Iain Wilson - Thank you profusely for the kind words (your bribe is, as ever, on way!). You are right as well in that I did not think simply filling in these short tag lines would prove as troublesome as it has!
loki100 - You are quite right, Punjab's questionable judgement should be forgotten and both nations should simply work together. This will allow Khandesh to teach Punjab to rule in the Khandeshi way, ignoring wars with far larger powers. Thus should Khandesh, as a far larger power, declare war upon Punjab at some point in the future, Punjab will know to simply ignore this!
Dewirix - I like the image that conjures up very much! I can just imagine the Golden Horde ambassadors flinching everytime Miran reaches for a knife or begins a discussion with Noor!
The infamy limit is indeed rather vexing. I will simply have to wait and make use of any handy missions or events which fire. Thankfully too some events in game, as shown in this update, have been granting me land without any rise in infamy!
aldriq - Thank you for the kind words (a bribe is en route but of course!). I too am quite shocked that the nation which brought the world such advanced medical techniques such as buttery curtains and fustigation has not yet perfected long distance insemination. Still, with all this newly acquired innovation, you never know what the future will bring!
Range - A great many thanks for the kind words (your bribe is in the post!). It really is a mystery why the Golden Horde were moved to declare war on the peaceful liberators of Khandesh. However as you sadly said, all too often in this game some nation gets the wrong idea and feels war is the only answer.
Boris ze Spider - In all honesty I probably will not win! At present nearly all of my foes are neighbours and thus the need for a navy has not yet arisen. Should I get closer to Europe, I'll look towards establishing a navy then.
RGB - 1. I cannot agree more, at the very least five. However it is the colour I am unsure of. He is perhaps not quite worthy of bright pink as of yet. Perhaps a beige for now.
2. Indeed! Yet another wonderful result of the increased levels of innovation now flooding through the realm.
Athalcor - How true! It is the casus belli of choice for the modern and forward thinking tyran-uh, peaceful liberator!
gabor - Quite so! Truly Khandesh should turn the other cheek and show by example how Punjab should treat her allies. Always show an ally courtesy, loyalty, share with them the spoils of victory and turn on them whenever you get the chance. Wait...
Iain Wilson - Thank you profusely for the kind words (your bribe is, as ever, on way!). You are right as well in that I did not think simply filling in these short tag lines would prove as troublesome as it has!
loki100 - You are quite right, Punjab's questionable judgement should be forgotten and both nations should simply work together. This will allow Khandesh to teach Punjab to rule in the Khandeshi way, ignoring wars with far larger powers. Thus should Khandesh, as a far larger power, declare war upon Punjab at some point in the future, Punjab will know to simply ignore this!
Dewirix - I like the image that conjures up very much! I can just imagine the Golden Horde ambassadors flinching everytime Miran reaches for a knife or begins a discussion with Noor!
The infamy limit is indeed rather vexing. I will simply have to wait and make use of any handy missions or events which fire. Thankfully too some events in game, as shown in this update, have been granting me land without any rise in infamy!
aldriq - Thank you for the kind words (a bribe is en route but of course!). I too am quite shocked that the nation which brought the world such advanced medical techniques such as buttery curtains and fustigation has not yet perfected long distance insemination. Still, with all this newly acquired innovation, you never know what the future will bring!
Range - A great many thanks for the kind words (your bribe is in the post!). It really is a mystery why the Golden Horde were moved to declare war on the peaceful liberators of Khandesh. However as you sadly said, all too often in this game some nation gets the wrong idea and feels war is the only answer.
KHANDESH THE BEWILDERINGLY SUCCESSFUL
CHAPTER 5 - MIRAN'S THE NAME
(1457-1459)
CHAPTER 5 - MIRAN'S THE NAME
(1457-1459)
The war has been going well thus far, I have proven my considerable military ability with repreated victories over my hugely outnumbered and struggling foes. Gujarat the latest army to be shattered by my rampant forces.
Truly the only member of the enemy coalition worthy of my attention in this war is Delhi, who still have a reasonably large army. Smarting after their humiliating defeat at the hands of my predecessor in the war of 1446, wherein Delhi was stupid enough to disperse her large army into small units allowing for Khandeshi forces to defeat each small force in detail, Delhi are likely seeking revenge. I would be very surprised were Delhi to repeat the mistakes of the past. Then she though Khandesh ruled by an incompetent fool, clearly knowing of my brilliance she will surely not understimate Khandesh this time.
Oh well nevermind, they are making the exact same mistake once again alongside seemingly suffering attrition whilst within their own territory. Thank goodness for foolish opponents. Although their acting in this way seems to suggest they have little respect for my ability. It is almost as if they think me an inept ruler. Where they can have gained this impression I have no idea.
Despite Delhi showing alarming imbecility once again, I still think it time to finally recruit a general to lead Khandesh's armed forces alongside me. There are several reasons for my sudden wish to recruit another military leader, but chief amongst them is my love of life, and therefore my lack of enthusiasm at risking slaughter on the battlefield. Frankly I am clearly far too important for it to be worth the risk of my dying at the hands of some uneducated oaf wielding a rusty pitchfork. Khandesh would fall apart without me.
Sandeep is understandbly delighted at this news, he has been desperate to get stuck in on the battlefield, dismayed as he has been at being left with only administrative work in his role as Marshal. Whilst Sandeep is undoubtedly skilled he is lacking one major qualification for any budding Khandeshi general; he has the wrong name. I explain to him I simply cannot let anyone command Khandesh's armies if they do not have 'Miran' as their forename. This is, after all, the name of Khandesh's best known military leader, a colossus of the battlefield, my predecessor. It is a name steeped in victory, Sandeep will have to adopt this name if he wishes to lead my armies.
Sandeep, or rather the General formerly known as Sandeep, is confused by this demand but nonetheless acquiesces. Clearly he truly is desperate to fight for his Sultan and country. Patriotic fool. Oh well, rather him than me.
I am very happy that he is now leading the army, his name is similar enough to mine that I can simply claim any victories he achieves as my own, in exactly the same manner as my predecessor did.
San-uh, General Bhatti is recruited not a moment too soon. Delhi finally realised their idiocy in so splitting their forces once again and rectified the problem, instead creating a reasonably large stack which has entered Khandeshi territory. Noticing this, I order Bhatti forward.
Damn I'm good. Clearly that victory was solely due to me. After all it was my decision to recruit Bhatti and put him in charge of the army and my decision to give him the winning name of Miran. Sometimes I amaze myself with my brilliance.
I having, through Bhatti, vanquished Delhi's main force set about crushing the remenants of Delhi's army. That is to say, General Bhatti sets about crushing the remnants of Delhi's army in my name.
Having now wiped out Delhi's armed forces, only siege duty remains. It is during these eventful months of siege duty, wherein Khandeshi soldiers engage in remarkably courageous activies such as cloud watching and reading the odd book, that Hemant brings me highly important news.
Truly I astonish myself at times, I'm just too good. Yet another woman impregnated due to my rampant potency. Verily women really have to be locked up to remain safe from my sheer machoism. Conquerer on the field and in the bed, that's m-wait a minute. This doesn't add up. Hemant explains to me that I have actually been given the Jalayirids crown, some nation off to the west which I've barely heard of, rather than having spawned a Faruqi heir.
Oh. Well. I knew that. Obviously. Excellent news nonetheless. The Jalayirid people, wherever they are and whoever they are, clearly have good taste when it comes to picking monarchs.
Being a good and dutiful ruler ready to begin reigning over my newly acquired subjects, I have my cartographer show me where exactly the Jalayirids nation is.
Hmm. Interesting. The Timurids cut me off from direct access to my newly won throne and they are still suffering from constant rebellions.
I have Noor detail the rebel numbers.
Goodness me, things really are still bad. My poor cou-uh, fellow family member who I am very close to, whatshisface, oh yes, 'Mirza is still somehow clinging on to power. He clearly needs my aid once more. Although he does have a scarily large army which is prone to attacking allies, such as myself, for no good reason. Perhaps I should simply leave him to it.
Perhaps not.
Well then, matters are out of my hands. I have to aid my much loved fellow Faruqi ruler, M...something, once again. And I have to gain passage to my newly acquired Jalayirids realm, as my subjects there will no doubt be desperate for Faruqi rule.
I'm sure my cou-family member of some sort, will be delighted that I am aiding him once more.
Will 'Mirza truly be glad to have his fellow family member 'rescuing' him once more? Was forcing the clearly brilliant General Bhatti to adopt the name of Miran a stroke of genius or idiocy? Does anyone actually read through the questions posed at the end of an update? Find out in the next turgid episode of Khandesh - land of the bewildered!
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I stand by my judgement of excess competence being shown ... that battle at Agra plus having invented artificial insemination is all the proof that is needed. It does look like the timorous Timurids are on their way out so it is really your duty to protect their people from the terrible consequences.
Miran now even gets to rule in countries that he has no knowledge of(and they have no knowledge of Miran). What's next, Scotland?
Personal Union with a nation he's never been to and an heir with a woman he never met? Miran, you're amazing.
As for Sandeep's generalship, never underestimate the Miran Bump, though it would be even better if he had his own talk show.
Finally, the Timurid's remainder of Gedrosian Desert and also the run-down Ilam probably need better management. Like a Miran in charge, 'tis a kindness see. Also, it links Iraq to Khandesh, but that's coincidental.
As for Sandeep's generalship, never underestimate the Miran Bump, though it would be even better if he had his own talk show.
Finally, the Timurid's remainder of Gedrosian Desert and also the run-down Ilam probably need better management. Like a Miran in charge, 'tis a kindness see. Also, it links Iraq to Khandesh, but that's coincidental.
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*insert here anything you like e.g. my company/this project
These are some of the very words I tell myself every morning looking in the mirror! Who would have thought; such a semblance to the great Miran?!
It's clear the Timurids are badly ruled and need a Miran transplant as soon as possible, lest they disgrace the Faruqi name.
There're enough rebels on the map now to make this look like a PrawnStar AAR.
There're enough rebels on the map now to make this look like a PrawnStar AAR.
Amazing how these women keep getting knocked up whilst Miran is away. What are those carrier pigeons carrying...