Chapter One: Always Blame the Cartographer
3 September 1471
Nasir Khan Faruqi, crown prince of Khandesh, looked up from his study of the mud brick boots plans, the latest piece of technologically advanced equipment being considered for the Khandeshi army. Instantly he noticed his father's chamberlain of many years hurrying towards him with a worried look on his face.
"My Sultan, terrible news!" Gasped the panic striken chamberlain.
"Relax Gra-, uh, Kal-...uhm...my dear man. Catch your breath. What is wrong?"
"My name is Prathamesh Himanshulaxman, sire." A rather peeved looking Prathamesh remonstrated.
"Yes, yes, I know, you've served my family for many years, it is not as if I had forgotten your name. Hah, perish the thought. Wait, you called me 'Sultan'..."
"Yes, sire. Your father passed away earlier today. I'm afraid he was killed whilst heroically fighting the fiendish Baluchistani hordes."
"Fighting? Heroically? That doesn't sound like him." Noting Prathamesh's horrified expression at this remark, Nasir hurriedly added, "Uhm, I mean, what a tragedy. I guess I am Sultan now then?"
"Yes, sire."
"Oh. Wonderful."
The last few days had passed in a blur for Nasir, busy as he had been attending to his coronation. Having finally dispensed with ceremonial duties he was now readying himself to take to the field so as to avenge the death of his father by crushing Punjab for once and for all. Before departing for the front he met with his cabinet for the first time.
Prathamesh hurried forward to meet Nasir as the Sultan strode towards the waiting cabinet, "Good afternoon, sire, everyone is waiting for you. Please allow me to make the introductions."
"Oh. Yes, greetings Mun-, uhm...I want to say Jayesh-"
"It is Pathemesh, sire."
"Yes, yes, I know. That was my next guess."
"Very good, sire. Allow me to introduce you to Hemant Satyajeet, your Chief Eunuch and right hand man." Parthamesh stated whilst handing Nasir the correct personnel file.
"Oh, the obligatory Hemant, hmm?"
"Yes, sire. I live to serve you and hope to continue the proud traditions associated with my name."
"ah yes, traditions such as being a backstabbing, treachorous yet indispensable minister due to your ingenious yet evil plans, eh?"
"Exactly so, sire."
"Capital! I see it states here in your file that you are wounded." Nasir continued whilst perusing Hemant's file, "Mind you, since you are a eunuch I think I can guess where you received the wound. Did my father really order
it cut off?"
Parthmesh interrupted quickly, "Ahem, if you will follow me please sire."
"Very well. Wait. Is this file correct? Hemant has a wife despite being a eunuch?" Nasir posed the question to Parthmesh whilst being led towards the next waiting minister.
"Yes, sire."
"What?! How does that work? More to the point, how is he able to find himself a wife whilst I have yet to find a bride?"
"Uhm...I'm not sure, sire. You are rather young to be bald-I mean, your lack of hai-uh, I could not possibly say why you are not yet married, my liege." Parthamesh hurriedly introduced a scowling Nasir to the next minster, "Allow me to introduce your chancellor, Vikas Paawan."
"A pleasure to meet you."
"The...plea-*cough*-ure...is...all...mi-*splutter*-ne, sire."
"You'll forgive me if I do not shake your rotting, green tinged, foul smelling hand?"
"As...you...ple-*cough*-ase, sire."
"So kind. Uhm, one moment please." Nasir swiftly dragged Parthamesh to one side, "Is he meant to be that shade of green?"
"Oh. You noticed."
"Yes, I noticed the green tinge to his skin, the horrendous smell he is emitting and...goodness me, it looks as if he is rotting!"
"Very astute, sire. Yes, uh, well Vikas is...well, he has the plague."
"The plague?! And yet he is my chancellor?!"
"Oh yes, sire, Vikas is fantastic in the role. Whenever he attends a diplomatic summit the opposing diplomats always quickly accede to any demand he makes. Apparently they want to end proceedings as quickly as possible due to some ill-founded worry they have about his being contagious. Haha."
"Ha. Ha. I think I'll meet the next person now."
"But of course, sire."
"Hold on. His file states he is married too! Plague ridden yet married? Do I need develop a life threatening disease before I find myself a wife too?"
"It could help, sire."
"..."
"Uh, I mean, uhm, I truly have no idea why women are not falling at your feet, sire! A near baldin-uhm, a prematurely grey haire-uh, no, I don't mean that. Perhaps no women considers herself worthy of you." A sweating Prathamesh offered.
"Hmm. Yes, perhaps." A slightly mollifed Nasir replied whilst glaring at Prathamesh, "Well, I'd best meet this next minist-what the? His finger just dropped off! Did you see that?! Vikas' finger just dropped off!"
"Oh, he'll sew it on again, sire, don't worry. This way please."
"Sew it on again? I'm surprised he isn't named
Raj Shu." Muttered the perturbed Nasir.
"What was that, sire?"
"Oh, nothing. So who is this? What body parts is he lacking? Or is he striken with a horrible illness too?"
"This is Tushar Faruqi, sire, the Royal Treasurer."
"Oh, a Faruqi. I think I remember you, a distant cousin I think?"
"Close, sire, I'm your uncle."
"Ah. Well, I'm glad to see you are prospering. I suppose you are well qualified for this role?"
"Of course, I am a Faruqi."
"Oh. Yes, quite."
"Yes, sire. If you remember our last Treasurer was a distant cousin of yours named Miran Suleyman." Prathamesh helpfully explained, "He managed to near bankrupt the nation due to taking out several horribly onerous loans for no good reason."
"Well done him. Clearly we Faruqi are well suited to the field of economics. What happened to Miran Suleyman by the way?" Nasir asked whilst being led by Prathamesh to the last waiting minister.
"Strung up by nobles who were left shockingly impoverished by his terrible economic policies."
"Gosh, that seems a trifle ungrateful."
"Quite, sire. And here is the last of the cabinet, your Chief Torturer, Nitin Paawan, no relation of Vikas."
"Yes, I can see that, he's not green for one thing. Pleasure to meet you. So what kind of things does your role entail?"
"The pleasure is all mine, sire. Well, I, uh, torture people."
"Fantastic. I look forward to working with you. One moment please." Once again Nasir dragged Prathamesh to one side. "A torturer?! I really have a torturer as a member of my cabinet?"
"Uhm, yes, sire."
"So no Marshal, religious leader or Spy Master but a torturer?"
"Uh, I'm afraid so, sire."
"Right. Wonderful." Nasir sighed heavily before continuing, "Bring in the cartographer, let me survey my lands."
"What the devil is this?! This is not Khandesh! Nitin, deal with this fool of a cartographer." Nasir watches approvingly as the trembling cartographer is dragged away. Turning to Prathamesh he murmured, "Perhaps a torturer in the cabinet is not so bad after all. Now someone get me the actual map of my domains."
"These maps are rather out of date aren't they? They seem to be from the 1450. Furthermore this is a world map rather than one specifically of Khandesh." Nasir sighed heavily once again, "Nevermind, this will do for now." Turning towards the assembled ministers he addressed them, "Right, well, I'd best leave the country in the capable hands of you, my fine ministers, whilst I put Punjab to the sword!"
*thunk*
"ah, I see Vikas' hand has now fallen off." Turning from the cabinet and striding from the room Nasir muttered to himself, "Yes, safe hands indeed. I'm getting out of here before I catch something..."
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1 October 1471
A few weeks later and Nasir had to concede he had been completely wrong to doubt the usefulness of Nitin being a member of cabinet. Ever since the competent minister had been given the torture portfolio everyone had been desperate to comply with Nasir's every demand. The country had improved considerably as a result.
Although clearly Nasir's own talent in the field of administration had aided this matter. Truly he was finding rulership a breeze. After sorting out the problems of overextension within the nation he had quickly bested Punjab and her allies.
Or, rather, his various generals had defeated his foes whilst he cowered-that is, whilst he directed operations from the comfort of the palace. Peace with Punjab was secured soon after, a mere faint cough from Vikas prompting the Punjabi diplomats to beg for peace on whatever terms Khandesh desired, if only Vikas would be removed from their prescence.
Luxuriating in his throne room after the war with Punjab, Nasir smiled faintly to himself, clearly he was born to rule. Leading his people just came so naturally to him. Nothing but glory awaited his reign. Noting a messenger slowly approaching, Nasir beckoned the young man over, accepting the scroll from him with an imperious nod.
"Oh."
An excerpt from
Khandesh: The Astoundingly Tedious History
Nasir Khan I Faruqi was crowned Sultan of Khandesh on the 5 September 1471 following the death of his 'father' Miran Muhammand Khan I Faruqi. The young Sultan quickly proved himself full of talent, if sadly rather lacking in hair, swiftly ending the war with Punjab, securing impressive gains for Khandesh in the process.
Retaining the 'skilled' cabinet members he inherited from his father, Nasir enjoyed further success in January 1473 after Nitin terrorised the citizens of the province of Ahmadnagar into adopting the Muslim faith via the simple expedient of touring the province with a portable well. January 1471 brought Nasir yet more welcome news when Vikas attained a Military Access treaty from the nation of Iraq despite heated negotiations on the subject. The deadlock in these negotiations only broken once Vikas' foot dropped off, leaving horrified Iraqi diplomats to quickly agree to terms.
Having thus achieved a promising start to his reign, Nasir began to consider further targets for Khandeshi expansion.