Deshtined to Fail - A Khandesh HttT AAR

[dinofs]

Excellent, you'll have half of Deccan in no ti- Is that a stain I see?

dinofs scrubs away.

[Range]

General Nasir Khan Faniqi's cavalry shall crush all your enemy beneath their horses hooves.

Long Live General Nasir Khan Faniqi...for glory of Khandesh!
It's still not late to send Utkarsh on a special assignment.

[blsteen]

Scrubbing...always a hoot
Now to crush Deccan utterly

[naggy]

Scrub, scrub, scrub your sword
gently with a brush!
Merrily, merrily, merrily,
Oh shit! It's Utkarsh!

[mayorqw]

I pray that that stack does not beffal you.

[Iain Wilson]

Scrub, scrub, scrub your sword
gently with a brush!
Merrily, merrily, merrily,
Oh shit! It's Utkarsh!

*applauds*

[aldriq]

Nothing like a good scrub to get rid of your enemies

[Johan11]

A Morningsider AAR!

I did smell something fishy.

[Keinwyn]

A Morningsider AAR!

I did smell something fishy.

Yes. It's the oil that was used to deep fry the Mars Bars. Someone needs to scrub the area...

[lordkestrel]

Yes. It's the oil that was used to deep fry the Mars Bars. Someone needs to scrub the area...

Oh, thanks for the reminder. I'll be in Edinburgh next month, and I meant to try one. If morningSIDEr talks about them, they can't be too bad right? Or at least taste too bad, I'm sure they'll knock an easy 10 years off my lifespan.

[RGB]

Let this war be a lesson in the importance of keeping your swords rust-free for a more efficient friendly-swording. Nobody wants to get accidentally hit in the back with a rusty weapon; tetanus is no laughing matter.

[morningSIDEr]

Thank you hugely for the replies!

dinofs - Thank you! Yes, I'm expanding quite nicely, but things turned decidedly worrisome in this up-wait...a stain!

morningSIDEr scrubs away.

Range - Indeed, long live Nasir Khan so I can continue to defile aldriq's great AAR! I'm seriously considering the Utkarsh Desertion Strategy after this update. Things did not go too well.

blsteen - Alas I did not get the chance to crush them utterly, but they have been...uhm...semi-crushed!

naggy - Just brilliant, I doff my hat to thee, good sir!

mayorqw - Sorry I need show my stupidity, which stack?

Iain Wilson - Indeed! Encore!

aldriq - How true! I rather think if soldiers just began bathing in the middle of a battlefield, having a good scrub, it would quickly cause the other side to rout!

Johan11 - Well my AARs certainly pong, but not usually of fish!

Keinwyn - I'll get right to it!

morningSIDEr scrubs away.

lordkestrel - Uhm...well...make sure you have had the relevant immunisations before coming to Scotland (I'm not sure if there is a bubonic plague jab, if so, definetly get it), also purchase/renew your life/health insurance and I would advise you get your affairs in order; create/update your will. You should then be just about ready to taste a deep fried Mars bar. Just about.

Seriously enjoy your trip to Edinburgh, its a wonderful city, only slightly spoiled by the blaggards such as myself inhabiting this city. Its a pity you'll miss the Fringe.

RGB - Exactly so! 'Friendly-stab' is bad enough without you also giving your poor fellow soldier tetanus. As such...

morningSIDEr scrubs away at his 'weapon'. (sorry...I couldn't help myself, that was awful...even by my low standards)

[morningSIDEr]

Scene VI

In a tent amongst the army camp at Maharastra, Khandesh; Minister Hritik and Minister Taral discuss matters of state.

TARAL I cannot believe he has dragged us out here, into the middle of nowhere. 'I need my governmental advisors with me', he says. Why does he not listen to my sage advice then?
HRITIK Come now, he gave you the military portfolio alongside your trade role. Clearly he respects your work.
TARAL Yes, that is true. But he doesn't implement any of my trading suggestions. We still have no merchants, and its only now that I have some work to do following this, obviously deserved, new appointment. Still I am sure that everyone in our great nation feels a lot more secure with me now overseeing the defence department.

Hritik begins to prepare his departmental speech.

The war has been dragging on slowly. What little progress there has been, was delayed by a number of rebellions, hampering siege work. With my next slider movement made available, I take another move towards quality. Unsurprisingly Taral's appointment as Minster of Defence, and his sanctioning the move towards quality, causes the nobles distress. Fantastic.

TARAL Well at least the war is progressing nicely. Our enemies cannot field any sizeable forces, we'll have their land occupied in no time. Clearly my genius is already bringing results in this military role.
HRITIK What are you talking about? You only just became Minister of Defence. It was poor, late Minister Gaurav who oversaw our victories thus far.
TARAL Yes, yes but we have only achieved success thus far due to the decisions I took as Minister of Trade. Those faux realistic iron swords madeoutofwood have proven invaluable for our troops...
HRITIK Oh but of course, wood is clearly the best material for making swords.
TARAL ...therefore clearly our victories are due to me. Gaurav simply unfairly gained the plaudits. Anyway things are going very well, there will be no calamities on my watch.

Hritik considers some jokes for his speech.

Siege work has been continuing at its mind numbingly slow pace, when a sudden declaration of war had me reaching for a clean pair of pants. Vijaynagar is able to field three times the men I have under arms, which leaves things looking very grim. Indeed, so terrible were the odds that I was frankly considering giving up and starting a new game with Khandesh, when thankfully Delhi came to my rescue, honouring their gaurantee, which I had completely forgotten about. Nonetheless this is going to prove a very tough fight, I can only hope that Delhi proves a valuable ally.

TARAL You have to help me Hritik, I didn't expect anyone to declare war on us! We're doomed!
HRITIK Right, well I'm sure we'll be fine. We can just equip more of the army with your faux realistic iron swords.
TARAL Come on, be serious man! We need to work together, Vijaynagar pose too big a threat.
HRITIK Okay, okay. We need free up our soldiers from the current conflict against Deccan. Send that Sandesh Damle to secure peace.

Hritik practices his speech.

The declaration of war from Vijaynagar left me with no choice but to end the current war against Deccan. Peace is thus hurriedly secured, with minor gains from Gujarat and Deccan herself. I was rather wanting to gain more land from Deccan this time, but they are left horribly weakened following this peace deal regardless. Even with all of my men free, I am still horribly outnumbered without Delhi's support, and I've learned from bitter experience that counting on the AI to aid you, usually does not end well.

HRITIK Our most recent reconnaissance reports show that Vijaynagar is attacking with two large forces, either one of which outnumbers our army. I suggest you advise the Sultan to hold back our troops, and wait for Delhi's men to arrive. Hopefully Delhi can best one of the two forces.
TARAL Okay.
HRITIK Even if they do, our army will likely need fight one of Vijaynagar's units. We must fight on the defensive to stand any chance of victory.
TARAL Alright.
HRITIK That is what I suggest you tell our Sultan. Oh and I also suggest you refrain from selling anymore of our steel and iron armour. The grey painted cloth which is now being issued to our troops as a replacement, has been fooling no one.

Taral hesistantly makes his speech to the Sultan.

Vijaynagar's two attacking forces are too large for me to hope to defeat. I am simply hoping the 12,000 she has in Bastar can be repelled by the 11,000 Delhi troops currently moving in from Mandla. To the west, the 11,000 men Vijaynagar is moving into Konkan will prove a very difficult test for my smaller army. Things are worringly poised.

[dinofs]

Uh-oh. Let's hope that you can survive this war!

[Range]

Perfect place to stop!

Two wars in five minutes...who knew you had so many enemies.

I Guarantee that you have the better quality soldiers... besides one of course... Now, would be the perfect time to lose that one man...of course I wouldn't mention who...Utkarsh...oops.

I'd laugh if Utkarsh became a hero if he went over to the other side...he'd wipe out entire regiments of your enemy in a single engagement.

[RGB]

You know what is funny about grey-painted cloth as decoy armour?

Anna Komnina talks about it as something that Alexios thought of employing. I kid you not. But the Indians may be more cunning than the average Eurobarbarian.

[loki100]

whoops, I'm sure you're up to the challenge though

[Macknull]

Let's hope scottish generals were not only a domain of Deccan

[Iain Wilson]

So, if you get slaughtered now it means you don't get to take off Suenik, does it?

COME ON VIJAYNAGAR!

[Keinwyn]

I've learned from bitter experience that counting on the AI to aid you, usually does not end well.

How could you possibly say that! I'm sure Delhi will perform admirably in starving their troops to death then getting annihilated, shoving your war score into the negative...