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The Trials and Tribulations of Several Alternative-History Nations

This is the mostly objective Al-Andalusian report of the session of 20110115. Most players were present, though Jakalo had trouble joining in the rehost after an hour or so, and Foels was absent for a significant amount of time.
The main event was the peace negotiation between Egypt and Russia on one side and Byzantion and Persia on the other, with intercession of various more westerly powers. They will be discussed as they pass the camera lens.
Most important for yours truly is the emerging discussion on conversion of Muslim nations to EU3 and the repercussions on colonial policy.

I present to you The State of the World According to Andalusian Historiographers, In Order of Subjective Power Level.

All the Russias, played by Von Rundstedt, expertly subbed by Ike.
Several sessions and not quite that many weeks later, the smoke lifts on the supposed 'gangbang' of Russia and we see it has not diminished in power at all. The war of last session even restored to it most of its lost southerly possessions. Finland, however, is still independent - though whether an independent Finland is more of a threat to Russian national security than a Finnish vassal remains to be seen. Andalusian foreign policy experts believe it is not, as it becomes harder for Finland to usurp the Russian throne this way.
The good news is that Russia remains firmly lodged on the other side of the map. It does not look to be heading this way, either.
Also, let it be known that Ike selflessly subbed Russia in a very professional fashion.

Western/Holy Roman Empire, played by Jakalo, formerly by Fasquardon.
Jakalo has been away for a few sessions now, making his realm rather stable. The map between him and Loire looks weird because there are some HRE vassals currently under French overlordship. That should pose no problems.
Jakalo seems to stabilize around Italy. While not that big geographically, it is a very rich area - possibly the richest in the game, so that's a pretty good call. Having moved to Italy, he can also effectively claim to be an incarnation of the Roman empire - albeit the Western one.
Jakalo was a vocal part of the Western alliance seeking to stop the war in the middle east. No one wants to see Egypt and Russia eat Byzantion and Persia, so the westerners stepped in and called for truce, which duly happened. Neither Russia nor Egypt felt like going to war with the HRE, Denmark, Bavaria and Loire.
As for Andaluso-HRE relations, things have been looking up, with continued cooperation and increasing trust. Let us hope I do not get called for famous last words on this one.

Denmark, played by Michael.
Denmark suffered from a mild case of the disloyal vassal syndrome this session, with a few choice vassals declaring independence, including Iceland. Iceland in and of itself is a worthless piece of rock you can't even see on the map without zooming in to the maximum degree. However, it is likely to become very important when the race for colonization of northern America kicks off. Little wonder that Al-Andalus, seeking to get off the old continent, tried to grab hold of a little piece of Iceland. Politely enough, the Andalucians waited for Michael to join in after rehosting before setting off in their dhows to the frozen North. The result was that the Andalucians initially took the western part of the island, whereas the Danes took the eastern part.
Unfortunately, this did not escape Danish notice, and Michael made it clear he did not take kindly to Arab overlordship over part of that chunk of volcanic rock. In the rather civilized discussion that followed, war was threatened and financial compensation offered, but in the end Al-Andalus decided to hand it back as a friendly gesture.
What this incident also precipitated was the question of Muslim colonization. In the pending conversion to EU3, some things would be changed: intial tech levels, and tech groups (both to Latin) for Muslim nations currently playing CK. However, Islam is not a good religion for colonizing. Yours truly had been led to believe that this, too, would be rectified, but it turns out this is not necessarily the case. Cue understandable upset. Discussion on the matter is still ongoing.

The Fatimid Caliphate / Egypt, played by FrozenWall.
This discussion involves our friends the Egyptians, too. More important for him, though, was the sweeping peace accord of the beginning of the session. Most of the Levant is once again Egyptian, and the unholy alliance with Russia has been severed. Part of the deal, too, was friendship with either Byzantion or Persia - which one it is going to be remains unclear.

Persia, played by Foelsgård.
While Persia's initial gains in the war against Frosty were good, long-term winning potential was lacking, with Frosty's troops arriving from far out west and Russia bearing down through central Asia. Good news is that Baghdad, currently the richest province in the game with an income of 127(!!!; due to Foels' Stewardship 20 God King), remains in his demesne. Pity most of the last gangbang's gains from Russia had to be handed back. On the other hand, with peace in the middle east, Persia can shift its attentions elsewhere. We are curious as to where this will lead.

Bulgaria / Eastern Roman Empire, played by King of Men.
At the last moment in the peace negotiations, King of Men pulled a subtle, yet dickish move: when after long deliberation a consensus was finally reached, he amended it to withhold some small gains, the western Black Sea coast, formerly Russian, from the least powerful victor, Croatia. This should not escape people's attention. Otherwise, King of Men, too, should be able to benefit from peace in the middle east.

Bavaria, played by Fivoin, our generous host
All I noticed about Lotharingia this session, apart from his already-discussed part in the Western Intervention, was his rather horrible monarch, as well as the rampant disease in the rich provinces of Bohemia. I hope things turn out better for him in the future.

Loire, played by Carillon.
Loire had a bit of a civil war, but nothing he couldn't handle. Currently all of Ireland is officially Loirean.

Croatia, played by OrangeYoshi.
As mentioned above, Croatia got the shit end of the stick in the peace negotiations. It will be interesting to see how Central Europe will develop in the coming years.

Al-Andalus / Leon, played by me.
Aside from colonization issues and Icelandic adventures, I am in a curious pickle at the moment: my king, having been seriously wounded for the third time (healed by miracle worker the first 2 times), is now also suffering from pneumonia and in Realm Duress. Having recently switched to Elective law to get a nephew on the throne, I hope the fucker kicks the bucket soon. It is time for someone less incompetent to take over.

Finland, played by Golle.
Finland was possibly the least enthusiastic party in the great middle eastern war. Understandable - sensitive Lapp skins deal badly with mediterranean sunshine.


What will the next session bring us? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Children of the Fatherland!
 
At the last moment in the peace negotiations, King of Men pulled a subtle, yet dickish move: when after long deliberation a consensus was finally reached, he amended it to withhold some small gains, the western Black Sea coast, formerly Russian, from the least powerful victor, Croatia.

I strongly object to this. There was no consensus; to wit, I didn't consent. Frosty offered "Peace on X, Y, Z"; I said "drop Z and we have a deal". This is called negotiation. Had he insisted on keeping the Black Sea coast in the demands, I would have continued the war, presumably with Western intervention. There may have been consensus on your side of the table. That is not the same thing. Foels and I had a consensus too: We wanted Russia destroyed, the Caliphate reduced to a three-province minor, and blowjobs from al-Andalus and Finland. Unfortunately Frosty pulled the subtle yet dickish move of offering a completely different peace that had nothing to do with this consensus.

I don't know why you're saying that Ike subbed vR; Ike was unable to join. There was discussionof whether he should sub Jakalo, which ended up being a moot point since he couldn't join. vR played himself, in his usual inscrutable manner: A mystery wrapped in an enigma within total radio silence.
 
Thing is there needs to be some expectation a ruler will keep to his word, or diplomacy becomes pointless.

Machiavelli tells us that "The Prince should not break his word unless it is greatly to his advantage to do so; and this requires that he have a reputation for great probity". Obviously nobody will make a NAP with someone who has broken every treaty he ever signed. But when signing a treaty, both parties should be aware that it is not the First Law of Humanics: It is not going to be hardwired into the other guy's brain. That's why we have the excomming. If, in the other guy's judgement, the advantages of breaking the treaty are greater than the disadvantages, including the excomm and the loss of reputation, well, prepare for the Sudden Tactical Adjustment of Borders.

Of course, you're free to declare the jihad and punish Jakalo for his perceived perfidy. Just please don't try to do so in this AAR thread?
 
I don't know why you're saying that Ike subbed vR; Ike was unable to join. There was discussionof whether he should sub Jakalo, which ended up being a moot point since he couldn't join. vR played himself, in his usual inscrutable manner: A mystery wrapped in an enigma within total radio silence.

Did you miss the last half of the session? Ike played Russia when vR had to leave.
 
I strongly object to this. There was no consensus; to wit, I didn't consent. Frosty offered "Peace on X, Y, Z"; I said "drop Z and we have a deal". This is called negotiation. Had he insisted on keeping the Black Sea coast in the demands, I would have continued the war, presumably with Western intervention. There may have been consensus on your side of the table. That is not the same thing. Foels and I had a consensus too: We wanted Russia destroyed, the Caliphate reduced to a three-province minor, and blowjobs from al-Andalus and Finland. Unfortunately Frosty pulled the subtle yet dickish move of offering a completely different peace that had nothing to do with this consensus.

Touchy, mayhap? Not the way it happened in my world - though I understand your need to vocalize your concerns. I would have done the same thing, had I the wherewithal to think of shafting poor Croatia, especially if said Croatia had been on my back the last few centuries.

I don't know why you're saying that Ike subbed vR; Ike was unable to join. There was discussionof whether he should sub Jakalo, which ended up being a moot point since he couldn't join. vR played himself, in his usual inscrutable manner: A mystery wrapped in an enigma within total radio silence.

Wasn't that one session earlier? I distinctly remember Ike jabbering over Teamspeak, complaining about Foels' absence, and about him taking the lands specified in the treaty from the Mongols.
 
Touchy, mayhap? Not the way it happened in my world - though I understand your need to vocalize your concerns. I would have done the same thing, had I the wherewithal to think of shafting poor Croatia, especially if said Croatia had been on my back the last few centuries.

Ugh, you fail. Croatia was our enemy. KoM gave a counter offer and it was accepted. If anyone shafted OrangeYoshi it was his allies for not compensating him.
 
He's gettin 25.000 from me.

See? He wasn't shafted. He was compensated generously by his ally. Of course Al Andalus wouldn't lift a finger to help him, instead resorting to blaming his former enemies for not giving up everything in the peace.
 
He did? But Russia hasn't collapsed. :confused:

I can't believe that you missed the most important part of last session. You even talked to me when i was Russia when i asked about the war you said "Yes Ike the war is to get the black sea coast back" how can you miss half of session and don't even know who played?
 
I can't believe that you missed the most important part of last session. You even talked to me when i was Russia when i asked about the war you said "Yes Ike the war is to get the black sea coast back" how can you miss half of session and don't even know who played?

Well to be fair, I didn't know you had subbed either, and I was definitely playing, though of courrse, involved closely with my civil war.
 
I can't believe that you missed the most important part of last session. You even talked to me when i was Russia when i asked about the war you said "Yes Ike the war is to get the black sea coast back" how can you miss half of session and don't even know who played?

Yes, ok. Now that you mention it I do remember that. What can I say? I guess vR's fifty thousand screaming Cossacks made more of an impression on me than your meek handing back of the Black Sea occupied areas.
 
I just realised Photobucket resized my beautiful comic, and that's why the text was blurry - of course, looking at it on my desktop it was perfectly readable! Try again at ImageShack:

twoemperorsi.png