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I'm being dragged in to become the game's whipping boy as well as simply watch and learn how MP CK handles.

The answer is undoubtedly going to be poorly.

That's my AAR. I get no reward because I have nothing to type about in-game, and King of Men secretly hates me.
 
The Toulousian Codex:

1093-1100:

So I lost my AAR to a computer crash, and frankly the AAR awards in this game are too darn cheap for it to be worth re-writing it.

Synopsis:

*Hamelin Capet stole my claim (and will be punished)

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*The new neighbours are scary

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*How sucky the pledging bug is

*Why Frosty is worth spending half my treasury on helping him last session

*Isn't that Fivoin guy good at this game!

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*Heck! KoM just declared himself my enemy!

*The secret behind the scenes story of why I am vassal of Russia.

fasquardon
 
*Why Frosty is worth spending half my treasury on helping him last session

Because I'm the kind of guy who remembers favors? :D


Session 5:

I missed the first hour and spent the session in Cairo waiting for my liege to die to reinherit, the AI thankfully did not do anything to terribly stupid. vR and his sub were absent and the Rus spiraled. Poland suffered for his sins of holding his entire realm as personal demense and was overrun by peasant rebels and had to be saved by outside help (Denmark?). Varyar left after a few hours and Seville was promptly wiped of the map by AI al-Murabids! Flandern got whuped by France while Wales is locked in a death struggle with a big England.

After taking Siracusa Naples merrily sings "I'm gonna invade Alexandria" until his field army is destroyed in Palermo and he peaces, we will be keeping our eyes on him!

Meanwhile Lothringa, Naples and Toulouse jokey for position in south-central Europe, Who will come out on top!?


The world at current:
(in flux) (apologies for any missed provs)
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War Everywhere! :eek: I can't even remember half of them :wacko:


Currently ongoing:
Wales v England
Lothringa v Germany
Egypt v Nubia
Egypt v Sweden
Naples v Breisgau
Antioch v Toulousian Crete
Rus v Toulouse
Rus v Antioch
Rus v lots o' rebels



The current Russian situation!:

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And the man responsible!:

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Clearly being kept alive by some sort of arcane Rus malevolent wizardry! (Blayne, you wouldn't know anything about this?)
 
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As a point of interest, Antioch and Toulouse have signed a peace treaty whereby Crete is given to Antioch.
 
The Knautschlings - part 4

That worked out well




Harald´s popularity has taken a drop since his involvement in the german succession crisis was unveiled.

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So he decides to do something popular.
Beating the crap out of the Pruthenian pagans is popular, he thinks.
Also they hold a title which belongs to Harald´s lands !

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Claiming that title is not quite as popular as Harald thinks.

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But nonetheless he declares war on the Pruthenians, what else shall he do now that he is more unpopular than ever before ?
In a fight of epic proportion and in glorious battles the Danish army lead by Marshal Pimen completely batters the Pruthenians.
But that is not a chapter for this tale, since those are stories of valor, bravery and heroes.
Nobody wants to hear such stories.
Our story continues at the point where the Pruthenians are already defeated.
Harald forces a peace on the pagans

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and reaps his massive boost in popularity for defeating the infidels.

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Oh.

Three thousand gold coins and the lives of many brave Danish soldiers in vain.
But Harald does not dwell on this too long for he does not personally know anyone who died and certainly has no bad conscience raising the taxes yet again.
Those burghers have too much gold for Harald´s taste anyways.

A short time later Harald decides to marry his grandson Valdemar to the only living daughter of Heinrich von Franken,
the King of Germany.

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Von Franken´s power is in demise now that the Goldstrand* family declared themselves independent,

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but it is still good to have marriage bonds with von Franken.
The Goldstrand*s do not like this marriage however and eliminate the bride only ten days later.

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What a hateful act to murder an innocent young woman !
Valdemar is heartbroken but Harald does not waste time to find a new attractive but powerless bride for him, surely nobody will try to assassinate her.

Not much happens in the following two years, but then in 1105 a Swedish Duke declares independence from the King of Scandinavia.
Harald offers the now indepent Duke his protection in exchange for just a little money.
When Harald says little money he means the maximum possible amount of tax that he is allowed to take under the Danish laws by the way.
The Duke accepts.

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Then in 1107 Harald has a really innovative idea.
He wants to go on crusade against the Pruthenian pagans.
Marshal Pimen sighs when he hears this but of course bows to the will of his King.
He trashes the Pruthenians with ease this time.

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The pope approves of Harald´s eagerness to crusade and even his prestige recovers a little bit.

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But it does not recover to a point where Harald could really further expand his realm.
After the crusade Harald orders some of the smaller regiments further south to battle Polish peasants who are revolting

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for he does feel that the divine right of nobility to rule shall not be threatened.
He even does some battle himself.

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At the end of this chapter Harald is already 60 years of age but his tale yet continues.​
 
The Fatimid Caliphate: Showdown across the Mediterranean:
The opening shots



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The war of Fatimid restoration had been waged since before Rasheed had been born, at one point the very existence of the Imamate had been in peril. Beset from all sides by heretics and infidels from every corner of the know world and even beyond. First among these had been the House of Dongola, serpents who had whispered venom in the ears of the faithful, claiming the Fatimids were not Allahs anointed representatives on earth. The Caliphate had fallen to Murabids, Zirids, Romans, Seljuqs and squabling warlords. At its worst the Nubians had controlled the puppet fools from Damascus to Cordoba!

But the young Fatimids had returned from the ashes in fire and holy vengeance, the Emerald banners had restored order to the Nile at the cost of turning it crimson red. When brute force had failed the Grand Emirate of Damascus had been returned to the fold at the point of a hassassins dagger.


Now the wast righteous hosts moved again against their sworn enemy.


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The opening positions in the 2nd continuation of th Fatimid-Nubian conflict for supremacy over the moslem lands, Toledo and Edessa soon abandoned their new masters after they had seen what happened to the House of Dongola...


Faced with a war over several continents and fully half of the Fatimid court bedridden and unable to dictate strategy the Calipha was forced to delegate overall command to his Grand Wizier, High Emir Isa Yousif. His plan called for a three pronged approach.



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Commanding his own battered Damascid Banners the Grand Vizier would strike first against Edessa, forcing them behind their walls and then turn against Nubia propper


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Commanding the Nile Banners the Master of the Siege would sail against the real powerbase of the Nubians: al-Andalus. Along the way he was to burn Cyrenaica for their insolent rebelliousness and take the important port city of Palermo and await the Andalusi reinforcements there.


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Following the astounding success of returning Damascus to the fold at the cost of a single life the Guild was given unprecedented resources to practice their less than subtle art of decapitating rulers as they sat on their throne in front of their entire court and guard.


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Rasheed was not a man who prided himself by knowing who ruled where, was related how or when their forefathers had decided they needed each other dead. He was the stern and practical product of the Alexandrian Academy of War, picked for the pureness of his blood to suffer through the extreme training and discipline that broke those unfit for command and shaped the unified purpose and will of the Fatimid line. With a short beard, clad in the finest armor Alexandrian coin could buy and wearing an emerald cloak and the gruff smile of a man who has never been taught how to retreat he was every bit the junior commander Caliph Muhammad had envisioned when he ordered the Academy founded 40 years earlier.


He knew this was the 3rd great battle of Palermo since it had been taken by the Levithan Siege Banners. The first had broken the naval forces of the Nubian alliance, the second ripped apart the King of Naples plans for an Alexandrian crusade before it even begun. And he knew this was the final hurrah of the House Dongola, all but a few hiding in some hole in the desert having been brutally ended by the Hassassins, many of their heads resting on pikes outside the Caliphas Cairan palace.


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David of Dongola, Last Great King of Nubia and his "10.000 spears", with him died the last legitimate branch of his house and Nubia fell under the influence of the old Fatimids, who continued the war in an effort to regain their throne.



Rasheed looked over at the vast hosts forming to his far left, they were not the same as had done battle here in past decades. The Nubian army consisted mainly of Andalusis and mercenary Spaniards and Greeks, they still had their famous Nubian Camelry and Lancers but they were a shadow of the 10.000 spears the Greek Patriarch had threatened with before he ended up outside the Caliphas palace gates. The Fatimids likewise relied heavily on Italians and irreliable Berbers, at least the influx of Mamluks after the fall of the Seljuq Turk had alleviated the need for conscripting able men for the time.

A flag was raised on a nearby hill and he turned to the other commanders of the light cavalry.
"Have the scouts reported back yet?"
"No... Perhaps the Nubians haven't moved yet?" The Naquib of the Lances offered.
"Or they're all dead and we're being flanked" One of the banner guards retorted.
"It is a bit late to ponder now, advance the mounted bows"
 
I think I'm going to have Radulf Hrodwulf and Wulfrey Hrodwulf defect to Russia. I haven't even had the chance to make an AAR yet as I have had no info on what's going on in-game for my character. :(

That isn't prohibited in the rules, right?
 
Defecting is permitted, although you only have one character. But as for keeping up with what's happening, that's your job. Download the saves and look around! Or make something up out of whole cloth.

Incidentally, as Varyar is retiring, the Spanish position is now open.
 
I haven’t written AARs lately due to RL stuff draining most of my free time. That’s probably out of the way now and I’ll try to get an AAR up this week.

Concerning Hrodwulf; he has had some interesting stuff happening to him during the years up until now. If you need any inspiration, just give me a pm here or get a hang of me on MSN and I’ll see what I can give you. Same with Carbonater, who's also in my court.
 
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Throw down the Sword​

Gwydion felt his grip tight around the hilt. He still gave it a firm squeeze despite he knew that he wouldn’t drop it. Sixty years his fingers had made that motion and for sixty years he had never felt it loosen without the command from his will.
Today was not going to be first time. The smoke rose beyond the landscape and it invited Gwydion to look back at the nearby meadows. Even after a battle won, leaving the battlefield back home felt somehow like treason... escape or a retreat. Who had really won? The Welshmen who still stood up while the crows feasted with whatever was left of the Englishmen? He had run them cross the lands, away from Lancaster to the eastern shores of York and triumphed over them once again and still the king of Mercia would not even accept him crawling under his feet like a low worm.
And they call Alphonso a wise king.
Gwydion had led every standing man and young lad of his realm to fight the English oppressors and twice his armies had been destroyed under the might of the English steel that too many, way too many in numbers brought to Wales and twice has his castles been beleaguered and occupied by the Alphonhse’s armies. Yet twice had that king praised as a wise by the Europeans took his armies away, scattered them and begun to move into insignificant continental quarrels. And twice Gwydion had sailed his reserves from Scotland and Irish provinces and defeated the retreating English armies to the dust.

Wisdom was a difficult sport, his mother used to say to him when he went to ask words of advice from the Queen of the Elfland. Not many man mastered it but many tried and many thought himself as a worthy champion in those tournaments of wit. Dôn of the Elfland would give him a blink of an eye and say no more. Gwydion couldn’t forget that expression on her face when the thoughts of Alphonse warmed his weary day.

If the King of Mercia was a wise man, Then Gwydion didn’t know who he was anymore?
Old...
He had outlived all his children from his first marriage. Cynan had died in to his wounds. War had taken away from him the last bits of what had escaped Ellylw’s horrors. He felt blood running out from his fingers when recollecting those losses. They were all gone. All dead. Foulgues was turning into a charming young man, but his distance to his own father had long ceased to bother Gwydion. He was Dôn, but only from his name. They wouldn’t talk French under the greenwood trees of otherside.
Hope to see his dream fulfilled begun to be a dim. He was sixty years old. Too old for kingdoms. He had passed the days when he could look his own reflection and say; there is a stout man of honour and character. Now he was just worn out like a rusty shield that still kept itself together and warded away a hit from a foe, but under all the slashes and nicks the bright colours of arms couldn’t be recognised any longer. In a line of such shields, all would just look the same. It was not far from the truth when Gwydion looked upon his men. Old greasers of his own years hardly make difference between their prince and groom. They were Gwydion’s men. They were what his realm was. If he would drop his sword today, it would all be gone. the Duchy of rugs and beggars would lose their grey prince and they would inscribe his tombs with words of: “He should have dropped it way earlier”.
Gwydion felt the strength in his fingers. Despite his years, his hand didn’t tremble. He would not lose that grip, not today at least.
 
Saxony 1100-1110​
A new Kingdom is born:

October 26th 1100.
It is a day of grand celebration. Today is the day that Saxony has outgrown its father; the Holy Roman Empire. The Kaiser can no longer keep the duchy under his boot and has therefore agreed to recognize the autonomous Kingdom of Greater Saxony with the city of Kleve as its capital. There are celebrations in the streets in the cities all across the new realm on this day, the day of the coronation of king Dietmar and a national holiday. The von Goldstrand family has now gone from margraves to kings. The dynastic pride is immense.

But all is not well. When fall comes, the green of summer withers and dies and so has the new king’s firstborn son. As the leaves began to turn to a first shade of red and brown, Otto, the duke of Lower Lorraine and king Dietmar’s son, caught a strange disease. As the heat of summer grew weaker, so did Otto. On a day in early October, Otto went to his final rest. His father inherited his realm, making Saxony what it is today.

Had his son not died, Dietmar would not be king. This he knows all too well and it makes his crown rest heavier on his head, his grip off his sceptre weaker. He has to be strong in these times of grief as his people need him. They need him to show them the way through the darkness, to be a guiding light of principles. To this end he has his second son, Hermann, to support him. His sons had been his pride in life, the jewels in his crown. As long as he has one of them left in this life, he can carry on. And carry on he will, for his son and for his people, into a new era.

Summary of the session:

My current situation is rather good. I’ve inherited everything I could inherit except Germany itself which I didn’t really expect to pull off without anyone interfering. I was about to try again with that one later on when von Franken’s last daughter and child came of age but Denmark’s express drive-by marriage service were a tad bit faster than mine. Disappointed with my failure I decided to do what every reasonable nobleman would have done; assassinated the bride.

My income and manpower roughly equals that of my closest neighbours with the exception of Toulouse who gains an incredible 286 monthly according to the tooltip! Rus is also a bit less scary at the moment since they have internal problems which give us all some breathing room.
I am currently at war with Germany and Bavaria due to one of my vassals in Switzerland breaking away and pleading to Germany. The war started right at the end of the last session and it isn’t clear who will win yet. I can probably peace out at least Bavaria with a white peace by raising some armies but Germany itself will be a tougher nut to crack.

Something that possibly could develop into a problem for me is Naples. He vassalised some German territory this session and could be a problem if he decides to continue northward further into my sphere of interest. I am going to open diplomatic discussion and hopefully a peaceful arrangement can be made.
What also concerns me some is the change of dynasty in the duchy of Flanders. The de Flandre family is now reduced to two different counties and Carillon hasn’t said anything on the matter yet. As he is now severely weakened, it leaves room for foreign expansion in northern France and I’m not so sure that I want anyone else meddling in the area; one neighbour to the west is enough for me.
 
What also concerns me some is the change of dynasty in the duchy of Flanders. The de Flandre family is now reduced to two different counties and Carillon hasn’t said anything on the matter yet. As he is now severely weakened, it leaves room for foreign expansion in northern France and I’m not so sure that I want anyone else meddling in the area; one neighbour to the west is enough for me.

Hah it seriously concerns me too, but there isn't much I can do about it right now. I had some technical issues last session and couldn't join, now there isn't much for me to join. I will keep on trucking and see what I can make of this disaster, but yeah, I would appreciate any help you care to offer :)
 
Extracts from To Hold the East, a documentary about the Byzantine civil disorders of 1095-1115. (Which should not be confused with the Byzantine civil disorders of 1066-1076 or the Byzantine civil disorders of 1080-1089.)

(View: Burning villages, horsemen riding down a fleeing child, someone screaming in the background. Then Constantinople, and we swoop down through an office window to see a fat man in silk signing papers. As we come in closer we can see that they refer to "the recent scandal of the Strategos Manuel Boutoumites and the courtesan Antheia".)

Voiceover: The first decade of the twelfth century saw the old scenes of war and disruption repeated yet again over the western half of the Empire, as overmighty vassals extended their power. With a child on the throne, Constantinople was in disarray, the factions (bureaucracy, church, army - or rather armies, each Strategos jockeying for supplies and recruits) spending more time struggling to establish their dominance than enforcing the peace which made such dominance valuable.

(View: Map of the Empire, with battle sites and sieges marked with flames. The Theme of Antioch is picked out in a lighter colour; there are no battles within it.)

Voiceover: The eastern regions of the Empire, however, particularly the border march of the Theme of Antioch, were peaceful, except for the successful expedition against the Moslem emirate of Edessa.

(View: Farmers tending fertile fields; women trampling grapes. A disciplined column of armoured men, with the Two Lions banner of Antioch and the Imperial Eagle at the front.)

Voiceover: This tranquility was mainly due to the loyalty of the Strategos of Antioch, Arkadios Komnenos. In spite of his reputation for ruthless slyness, acquired chiefly in the Antiochene Intrigue which put his eldest son in line for the crown of Georgia, he refused to raise his banner against a rightful Emperor - even an underage one completely dominated by his court.

(View: The Komnenos palace in Antioch; we zoom in to see ARKADIOS KOMNENOS dictating a letter - specifically, the famous Tirade on Loyalty. Visible through the scene is the ragged and stained parchment preserved in the Imperial Museum at Constantinople, with his words being written by a feather quill. As he speaks he walks back and forth, emphasizing his words by slamming his right hand into the left.)

Arkadios: And therefore, dear Cousin, I must refuse your offer, and pray that God in His Mercy does not chastise you too harshly for entertaining it; for its presence in your mind is surely a device of Satan. I have belaboured the evil of plotting against God's anointed, and will say no more, but I leave you with a final thought. If the Komnenoi can overthrow the Dukas because the rightful Emperor is in the thrall of his court, then what shall prevent the Malakoi, the Bourtzes, or the Phokas from overthrowing the Komnenoi, when one day one of my dynasty is in the thrall of his court because he is young and inexperienced - as indeed they rise, now, against the Dukas?

(View: A map of the empire, with regions flaring into the red of rebellion and war, and fading again, while a counter in the corner ticks off the years 1100-1106 month by month.)

Voiceover: And rise they did. But the loyalty of the Komnenoi was about to be put to its hardest test. In the chaos of the disorders, many lesser lords sought the strong protection that Constantinople was no longer providing. The Strategos of Antioch, with his powerful army - stronger than that of the Emperor himself, weakened after years of disorder and poor finances - and reputation for war-luck from campaigns against the infidel, was an attractive protector. And, seeking to hold the Empire together in the face of its near disintegration, Arkadios did not turn anyone away - although it was rather debatable whether he had a legal right to accept the oaths of lords already sworn to the Emperor.

(View: The map of the empire again, with blue blotches marking the new extensions of the Theme of Antioch - even as far west as the Adriatic coast. Through the map we can see pirate galleys descending on Rhodes.)

That dubious legality was the problem: For when the Count of Rhodes called on his new overlord for protection against pirate raids out of the Aegean islands, Arkadios was bound to respond... and a faction in Constantinople, seeing an opportunity to reassert sovereignty over the increasingly over-mighty eastern lord, declared that by taking arms against the Aegeans - still nominally loyal to Constantinople by virtue of not having bothered to declare themselves independent - Arkadios was in rebellion. For Arkadios, this was the final straw.

(View: A sword being forged; the clang-clang-clang of the hammer beating it underlies the narration.)

Arkadios: Enough is enough. The Emperor's person is sacred, and none shall harm a hair on his head. But the court at Constantinople must be cleansed; if possible by the gentle light of reason, if necessary by sword and flame. I have drawn my sword against the infidel, and there are many in Constantinople today who owe their lives and freedom to my work. And they will repay their debts by naming me traitor, and calling down raiders on those whose lives I am sworn to protect?

[The documentary now covers the swift westwards march of the veteran Antiochene troops. Poorly garrisoned after years of supplying reinforcements for the Emperor's field armies, the Imperial forts on the Anatolian side of the Straits fell quickly, and Arkadios was able to cross over and lay siege to Constantinople itself. In spite of repeated offers of peace, however, the bureaucratic faction at Constantinople refused to negotiate.]

(View: A model of the walls of Constantinople, with Arkadios's siege camp outside.)

Voiceover: With the Antiochene army actually outside the walls, the court was finally restored to contact with reality. Although Constantinople had seen off sieges in the past, Arkadios had brought enough men to build and man a fleet of galleys and close the harbour; worse, the population of the city saw him as a saviour, a strong man to take the throne and end the years of chaos. Arkadios, however, maintained that he had taken the field not against the Emperor Leo, but against his corrupt court, and this thin legal fiction allowed the young Dukas - who at fifteen could no longer be completely disregarded as a player in his own right - enough leeway to save his crown. Against the advice of his court, the Emperor Leo left the walls under flag of truce to negotiate with Arkadios.

(View: A row of crucified men, with ravens poking at their flesh. One of the men is still alive, and jerks feebly as a bird tears his eye out.)

The resulting compromise saved face for everyone. Arkadios's troops entered the city peacefully, without a sack, and were welcomed as liberators. With this force at his back, Leo was able to become master in his own palace for the first time; the personal forces of the nobles and the wealthy bureaucrats were no match for a field army blooded against the infidel, even had they been united. The most obnoxious players of palace intrigue were crucified, Arkadios being intent on demonstrating enough ruthlessness that it would not be necessary to repeat the campaign. Others had their wealth or estates confiscated, refilling the State treasury - from which, it must be said, a good portion of their gold had come in the first place. In his turn, Arkadios was confirmed as Strategos of Antioch, and given the additional title Shield of the State.
 
Thank you. :)

It is very likely that I'll be needing a sub next week, and possibly also the week after; any volunteers? Things are approaching a rather interesting and delicate cusp in the internal political situation of the Roman Empire, and I would really hate for the AI to mess it up.
 
Session6!
With only 10 rehosts!
AAr tomorrow!

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(why do I always forget the Fatimids?)
(and Flandern, but thats his fault for being so small!)


In this session!:


-The Rus reaches the bottom of its death spiral (Toulouse and Gwynnidon still vassals of it!)
-Poland clicks wrong in the peace screen and is eaten by Denmark!
-Baghdad grows!
-Gwynnidon, Flandern and Toulouse whack AI France!
-People everywhere! Denmark can have Gävle whenever he feels like it :)


As for me!:


-I sit around and click for 3 hours!
-Alexandria gets a money event and oneshot assassinates its king to regain its Fatimid king title!
-Antioch and Baghdad immediately jump the Fatimids!
-The Fatimid armies are destroyed by a rehost bug!
-Damascus is surrendered to Baghdad!
-Antioch annexes Baalbek, overruns the Levant and demands Palermo!
-Fatimids wp Nubia with the last scraps of its troops!
-The Antiochean invasion of Egypt proper is turned back with last scraps and lucky event troops!

-Antioch invades Palermo while Fatimids plots and rebuilds its forces....


The situation is in flux, Byzantium outnumbers Egypt with a few thousand. Half of them Antiochean, half AI. But the Fatimid grow while the Byzantine Emperor squanders his forces to attrition. Despite all this the war actually comes down to if the two of us can find subs! Who wishes to raise the Emerald banners over Byzantion and Antioch? Step up!






Death to Antioch!
Diplomatic protests to Persia!

Letters of condolance to Rus and Poland!
 
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What's up with oversized Baghdad?

Baghdad is suffering from a nasty case of "Omg. Why are every independent duchy and their mothers pledging to me!?".