Part 1 - Smarty Brythonn and the Quest for Holly O'Man
Chapter 1 - Smarty Brythonn and the Quest for Holly O'Man
536 January
Why hello, my name's Coilus Divicid and I am the mighty chieftain of the tribe ..... whatchas the name ... never learned to spell it correctly ... CAT-OOVER-LINES. I guess we are named after the lovely furball beings, and I like hairy things, well, I am a little bit hairy myself. I have a nice furry goat I call Boudie, and she is really cute.
My best friend and trusted advisor is one Mehr-Leen, a smart bloke able of magic and stuff. His best trick is he stays unseen to all save me, so the other chieftains don't know he is around. They call me dumb and MAN-EE-AK when I speak to him, what is not very nice of them. But I will have my vengeance soon and people will admire me. I think to become ADD-MEE-RAHL soon will make them admire me even more.
This day Mehr-Leen told me about a pal of his from Ireland named O'Man. He wanted to IN-FOOK that buddy for some reason and he promised there would be a lot of love and happines when it's accomplished. Well, nothing against untraditional ways of friedship, I have great relation with my Boudie-pet too, and Mehr-Leen told me she will be even more furry and chubby and all after all is done.
But when I ordered the Hi-Prees guy to help with the IN-FOOKing, something went just awry. My poor Boudie lost all her fat, she was not lovely and happy any more ... actually all the tribe was unhappy, angry and hungry, and they ate my poor Boudie. Mehr-Leen told me it is all the other chieftains fault, so I put them all into the gaol, as I didnt liked them anyway. That will teach them! From now I will throw all newcoming lackeys into the pit as they appear in our village, let them rot there.
Mehr-Leen consoled me and found me a girfriend named Boudica, which reminds me of my poor lovely goatie. She is also kinda hairy, so I think we will get along well. I also decided to find that O'Man of Ireland, so we can IN-FOOK him better next time. Thats why I will sail on our mighty tribal ship to the neigbouring isle. I will take Boudica with me, I am sure we will get to know each other better. My best men will accompany me on this search for this Holy O'Man. Before I depart I form an UGLYANCE with the neigbouring folks of Siluri, as Mehr-Leen urged me.
536 April
Hello, I am Boudica Marganid, the new chieftain of our tribe. Coilus, my poor hubby, get captured by the ugly barbarian tribe of Ausci he stirred when searching for that Holy O'Man of Ireland. "Our ways are best!", were the last words his men heard from him. In my absence one brat named Chiomara tried to seize the chieftain rule for herself, but I managed to kick her out once I landed with the survivors of that happless Irish expedition. There were some discontets to deal with, of course, so the gaol pit got fuller once again.
We started to trade wood for iron with our Silurian neigbours, and with the improved weapons and armour our warbands will become unbeatable. The best men of our tribe will then join me and we will rescue my belowed hubby from his captivity.
537 January
Greetings, I am Merlin the Enchanter and I have been trusted advisor to Brythonnian chieftains for many generations. Have to say I am not pleased with the recent course of the Catuvellauni tribe (yes, thats how's it spelled properly). The recent chieftain Coilus Divicid wasn't so bad, he even heeded my advice to introduce the "Pursuit of Wealth" and adopted the "Adapt or Perish" approach. He also learned that "Our ways are best" and lowered the unrealistic military spending. He maintained good diplomatic and trade relations with Siluri. But then driven by his obsession to find something he called Holy Omen he got himself lost on this unfortunate expedition.
In his absence his consort Boudica Marganid rules with an iron fist. She already earned herself the nickname "Bloodica" because the unspeakable cruelty she is known for. Executions are on daily order, most of the notable folks imprisoned. She raised two cohorts of elite swordsmen as her personal guard which serve as her enforcers. At least until recently ....
The nomad tribe of Ausci angered by Coilus uninvited incursions into their territory decided to repay us the visit. They crossed the straits between Hybernia and Britannia and now, as I am writing these lines, they are sieging the town of Trinovantes. During their campaign many other highlanders joined their warband and their numbers are really impressive. They were able to rise several units of cavalry and bowmen beside the general rabble usually seen. The brave iron swordsmen guard of our tyranness have wisely chosen to retreat to the territory of our friends, Silurians. Most of the tribefolk is already welcoming the "visitors" as liberators.
AARRRRRGHHHH!!!!
537 January ... later.
Our liberators stormed the palisades easily and our folk welcomed them with great joy. What could be worse than the mad Bloodica's tyranny after all? A great feast followed that night where all were celebrating their new champions and many new acqauintances have been made. Of course there was a lot of mayhem an many artifact of cultural importance and buildings of historical value were gone in the morning. But from the hangover the folks emerged not as quarreling tribes but as an united nation.
Tincomarus, our new ruler, looks pretty promising and there are epic deeds to be accomplished. Our High Priest aready proclaimed him our saviour.