- Where we meet the ruling classes
- The bit where some people get new coats of arms and Vesimir's wife carks it
- When some Dukes are appointed, some pagans are slaughtered and Fookison thinks it's a good idea to rebel
- Kaisermuffin annoys lots of people and there is much warring
- The war begins! Oh, and Enewald dies...
- The one where everyone kisses and makes up and then falls out again (I think this could be a reoccuring theme).
- More betrayal, disloyalty with some heathen burning on the side!
- Dutchie decides that War is Fun!
- Lots of dead Finns and a bishop throwing a hissy fit.
- The bit where everybody gets owned by the Mongols and the Swedes.
Map of AARLand circa 1337
- courtesy of Kazmir
Map of the County of Isengard
- courtesy of Vesimir
Family Tree of AARLand circa 1347
A long time ago, in a...no...wait...that's a different AAR <-blatent plug
Picture the scene...
It's 1321 at we're looking at a cold, stony keep in the far north of what will one day become Russia. To heighten the dramatic tension it's raining and blowing a gale. Thunder rolls and lightning flashes. A full moon rises in the sky (or whatever it is that moons do) and off to the left of the castle a solitary wolf raises his muzzle sky and howls. His call carries across the valley (despite the thunder - for a wolf he has brilliant projection) and is answered by a dozen of his pack mates. Just for good measure, and because it's not noisy enough already, there are owls hooting in the trees.
Lots of them.
So to recap - dark and stormy night, lots of vocal nocturnal creatures, full moon...
Those are "dire portents" for those of you not skilled in soothsaying.
The castle itself is in darkness, save for one window from which light blazes forth. This is the Royal bedchamber and at the moment it's awash with women and abuzz with activity...
...no...not that sort of activity you filthy-minded wastrel! Honestly! This is not that sort of story! If that's what you're after there's a whole big wide internet to be a-searching...
Where were we?
That's right. Royal bedchamber, loads of women, lots of activity. The king's pacing pensively as the aforementioned busy women buzz round his wife like frantic worker bees. She's screaming like a banshee, which is probably due to the fact that she's given birth to twenty children in a row and shows no sign of stopping. A lady-in-waiting mops the queen's fevered brow, as she gets ready for another almighty push. She tenses, starts to push and...
...actually, who am I kidding?
Forget the stupid "I'm-trying-to-justify-this" back-story (that's the above for those of you with REALLY low standards) - basically the premise here is "Wouldn't it be fun to take a bunch of people from AAR Land, plumb them into CK and run a short AAR documenting their humorous antics". Oh, and it's all consensual before anyone thinks I'm just swiping people off the forums at random!
1) Everyone's part of the same dynasty - Van Der Aarlander. Yes, it's made up.
2) All characters start at 15 years old. This is to allow education to fire.
3) All characters stats and some traits were determined prior to the game after consultation with the individual forum members. Gosh - that's a grand way of saying, "Pick a couple of things you're good at and some things you suck at." Traits gained through education (things like "Brilliant strategist", "crafty merchant" etc) will not be assigned at the start (despite some of you asking for them!) and will be determined through education.
4) Everyone will start of as a county of the Kingdom of AARland. For those interested it's located just north of...er...the Golden Horde... Show's how often I've played the 1337 scenario... Hopefully they'll be good neighbours! What? Stop looking at me like that!
5) The Kingdom of AARLand will have elective law because that makes for interesting games.
6) All characters are siblings. Yes, that's ridiculous, but what did you expect?
7) I start as King. That's because I'm writing it.
8) Everything else will be determined (or ignored) as the AAR develops.
Current dramatis personae