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Breathe! Don't die on me!!!! Breathe damn you!!!!
The AAR, not Helene. I couldn't care less about her. JK.
The AAR, not Helene. I couldn't care less about her. JK.
Don't worry, as this is General_BT's side project.
This AAR is mostly for him to use as a diversion from his main AAR, and to try and get around writers block. Or so i have understood from what he has said before.
So don't expect updates every day or something like that, but relatively sporadically. From my point of view, the quality, and not the quantity, is what makes an AAR truly great.
enf91 - It's been only a month? It seems longer. humancalculator is right, this is my writer's block/diversion AAR. I have played ahead in the game itself, and have piccies saved, so its more a matter of getting Rome AARisen writer's block again for this thing to start up. I wouldn't wish for that too loudly, or the CK readers might get... grouchy. 
humancalculator - Bingo. Once I get around to updating this one again, there'll be a poll taking place as well on what Helene should do...
Saulta - Thank you! It's a side project, but I'm glad its one that's appreciated!
OutsiderSubtype - A low claim strength, and lots of rumors about momma's "past."
Small - Maybe sometime next week there might be more. RA writing has taken up the lion's share of my free time (well, that and tie videogame Distant Worlds)
Qorten - Naive might be another word for her.
Morrell8 - Along that vein:
Morality? This is Constantinople!
Justice? This is Constantinople!
Filioque? This is Constantinople!
Enewald - This started from a CK game I played as the Palialogi in the 1337 scenario. I then modded the 1399 results into HttT and played from there...
Hannibal X - It's probably be "This is Mystra!" but that's beside the point
Zitanier - This is Constantinople!
aldriq - Not dead. Quiescent. Dormant. In stasis until writer's block hits again (which may be soon. I have a string of updates in my head for the other AAR, then a giant blank spot...)
JDMS - Helene has been raised in a cloister, at least when it comes to the birds and the bees...
asd21593 - My name's GeneralBT. *Hi BT* And I'm... a Byzantophile...
stefanmg - Thanks! Please stick around, it'll get another update... sometime... soon... maybe...
humancalculator - Bingo. Once I get around to updating this one again, there'll be a poll taking place as well on what Helene should do...
Saulta - Thank you! It's a side project, but I'm glad its one that's appreciated!
OutsiderSubtype - A low claim strength, and lots of rumors about momma's "past."
Small - Maybe sometime next week there might be more. RA writing has taken up the lion's share of my free time (well, that and tie videogame Distant Worlds)
Qorten - Naive might be another word for her.
Morrell8 - Along that vein:
Morality? This is Constantinople!
Justice? This is Constantinople!
Filioque? This is Constantinople!
Enewald - This started from a CK game I played as the Palialogi in the 1337 scenario. I then modded the 1399 results into HttT and played from there...
Hannibal X - It's probably be "This is Mystra!" but that's beside the point
Zitanier - This is Constantinople!
aldriq - Not dead. Quiescent. Dormant. In stasis until writer's block hits again (which may be soon. I have a string of updates in my head for the other AAR, then a giant blank spot...)
JDMS - Helene has been raised in a cloister, at least when it comes to the birds and the bees...
asd21593 - My name's GeneralBT. *Hi BT* And I'm... a Byzantophile...
stefanmg - Thanks! Please stick around, it'll get another update... sometime... soon... maybe...
Byzantophiles ftw. Does this mean you might be starting to have writer's block for CK? Most unfortunate of course, but I imagine can't be helped.
Please stick around, it'll get another update... sometime... soon... maybe...
Something tells me we're going to get this same message a month from now
You know, now that I read this, it seems like an eminently good idea to overcome writing blocks.
Heh.
Heh.
I give thee life...
May 6th, 1498
Dear Diary,
Ivan has been visiting me on a regular basis to ‘do it,’ and I’m not impressed at all. It’s not that fun at all… it hurts actually. And it seems the more I try, the shorter it is for Ivan. Then he quickly leaves. Dear Diary, I must confess, I’m very confused.
Why does Ariadne put up with this? She says if her father found out about her and the stableboy he’d be very cross. I’m tempted to ask her…
May 11th, 1498
Dear Diary,
So I asked Ariadne about ‘doing it.’
And she explained the mechanics.
Ivan clearly doesn’t know how to ‘do it’ properly! He’s supposed to show tenderness and love, not rutting like a mad bull! No WONDER it hurt!
I was fuming when I found out! So much so, that I might have blurted out phrases that called Ivan ‘selfish’ and questioned his parentage. Ariadne looked at me strangely. I saw no reason to hide the truth from my best friend, so I told her I’d done it, but Ivan clearly had done it wrong. Then her eyes got very wide for some reason. I’m not sure why.
September 10th, 1498
Dear Diary,
Daddy found out! I don’t know how!
October 8th, 1498
Dear Diary,
It’s taken me quite a bit of time to compose myself enough to write this.
DADDY WAS FURIOUS!
He dragged me in front of the assembled nobility and he HIT ME. In FRONT OF THEM ALL. He called me a foolish girl! A sorry daughter! He then dragged Ivan to the Augusteon and had him beheaded! BEHEADED! Head lopped off like it was some kind of meat being carved from the bone! AND HE MADE ME WATCH! It was horrible, HORRIBLE!
*sob*
It’s been three weeks of hell—the doctors constantly feeding me horsehairs and all sorts of other herbs on a daily basis, Daddy refusing to talk to me. He said I endangered the realm, and made him a laughingstock! I feel bad, I really do, but I’M the one who feels foolish! I did all that for a stupid boy who didn’t even know how to ‘do it’ properly!
*SOB*
Daddy’s now confined me to my quarters until further notice. No more walks about the city, or trips to Chrysopolis. Ariadne’s father received a grant of land in Anatolia recently, so she’s left the palace—Daddy was extraordinarily kind to them for some reason. It’s hell to boring here though, and Daddy is STILL angry! All my ladies in waiting have been replaced by matrons twice the age my mother would be, who correct my needlework, and hiss and pish about me not being serious, or grown up, or adult-like!
*SOB*
They say I’m not a true adult until I’ve married! Daddy’s apparently been offering me to people… the latest was the Count of Ulstein-Lippensdorker-tiny-German-place-that-someone-could-destroy-with-a-fart! Really!? That’s all he could muster? He’s the ROMAN EMPEROR?! Why am I not to be married to the King of England, or France, or the Holy Roman Emperor, or something?
Oh.
They…they said no?
To ME?
Why… because of…
…
Even Serbia? Little, off in the corner, half-insane, loves to call Hungary “Land of the Hungry People” Serbia?
Oh no… I… I can’t get married! I’ll never have kids! I’ll never be an adult! My lifeisoverandnowIwantojustcurlupanddiebecausetheworldisameanandnastyplace!
*SSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBB*
May 6th, 1498
Dear Diary,
Ivan has been visiting me on a regular basis to ‘do it,’ and I’m not impressed at all. It’s not that fun at all… it hurts actually. And it seems the more I try, the shorter it is for Ivan. Then he quickly leaves. Dear Diary, I must confess, I’m very confused.
Why does Ariadne put up with this? She says if her father found out about her and the stableboy he’d be very cross. I’m tempted to ask her…
May 11th, 1498
Dear Diary,
So I asked Ariadne about ‘doing it.’
And she explained the mechanics.
Ivan clearly doesn’t know how to ‘do it’ properly! He’s supposed to show tenderness and love, not rutting like a mad bull! No WONDER it hurt!
I was fuming when I found out! So much so, that I might have blurted out phrases that called Ivan ‘selfish’ and questioned his parentage. Ariadne looked at me strangely. I saw no reason to hide the truth from my best friend, so I told her I’d done it, but Ivan clearly had done it wrong. Then her eyes got very wide for some reason. I’m not sure why.
September 10th, 1498
Dear Diary,
Daddy found out! I don’t know how!
October 8th, 1498
Dear Diary,
It’s taken me quite a bit of time to compose myself enough to write this.
DADDY WAS FURIOUS!
He dragged me in front of the assembled nobility and he HIT ME. In FRONT OF THEM ALL. He called me a foolish girl! A sorry daughter! He then dragged Ivan to the Augusteon and had him beheaded! BEHEADED! Head lopped off like it was some kind of meat being carved from the bone! AND HE MADE ME WATCH! It was horrible, HORRIBLE!
*sob*
It’s been three weeks of hell—the doctors constantly feeding me horsehairs and all sorts of other herbs on a daily basis, Daddy refusing to talk to me. He said I endangered the realm, and made him a laughingstock! I feel bad, I really do, but I’M the one who feels foolish! I did all that for a stupid boy who didn’t even know how to ‘do it’ properly!
*SOB*
Daddy’s now confined me to my quarters until further notice. No more walks about the city, or trips to Chrysopolis. Ariadne’s father received a grant of land in Anatolia recently, so she’s left the palace—Daddy was extraordinarily kind to them for some reason. It’s hell to boring here though, and Daddy is STILL angry! All my ladies in waiting have been replaced by matrons twice the age my mother would be, who correct my needlework, and hiss and pish about me not being serious, or grown up, or adult-like!
*SOB*
They say I’m not a true adult until I’ve married! Daddy’s apparently been offering me to people… the latest was the Count of Ulstein-Lippensdorker-tiny-German-place-that-someone-could-destroy-with-a-fart! Really!? That’s all he could muster? He’s the ROMAN EMPEROR?! Why am I not to be married to the King of England, or France, or the Holy Roman Emperor, or something?
Oh.
They…they said no?
To ME?
Why… because of…
…
Even Serbia? Little, off in the corner, half-insane, loves to call Hungary “Land of the Hungry People” Serbia?
Oh no… I… I can’t get married! I’ll never have kids! I’ll never be an adult! My lifeisoverandnowIwantojustcurlupanddiebecausetheworldisameanandnastyplace!
*SSSSSSOOOOOOOOOOBBBBBB*
