The matter of the day, January 1, 1835
Location: the London Gun Club
The London Gun Club has existed since 1781. It came about due to the American War of Rebellion. A group of English gentry created the club in order to discuss the unquestionably manly pursuit of warfare. The short term issue to be brought to the table: how to subdue the once subjugated, now unruly and ungrateful Yankees back into the bondage to which they deserve.
"Problem 1; we are now in a state of intolerable peace, the once blood filled lands of America have descended into ignominious inactivity and scandelous commercial pursuit."
"Problem 2; the Americans have solidified their position in America since Independence and now exist in a state of alertness as to our, British, actions in the theater of politics and war."
"Problem 3; Since our last gun was lost at Yorktown in 1781, we are currently men of esteemed wealth of knowledge in matters of trajectories, powder and shot, all without the means to excise our knowledge through the barrel of a gun."
"If you please sir, what does our venerable captain of the gun club propose?" a small man replied, eyes darting left and right nervously at his peers.
"Just this" replied the captain "that we proceed in the construction of a new gun in the spirit of our 1781 mortar, an artillery piece made of bronze, which would propel 36 inch shot using approximately 480lb of powder".
The mans eyes widened, he stood up from his chair, straightened his cravat and inquired "if you will entreat us as to how we will pay for this grandiose mortar..." he asked with incredulity.
"My dear colonel Sanders, I will of course shoulder this burden, being the origin of its design." replied the captain with an amorous tone so soft, as to dissuade any further discussion of the matter.
The gun club adjourned for the month, the members attending returned to their various pursuits of the military flavor. Numbering in total the gun club now has 4000 members, a far cry from the three founding members in 1781.
....but not before the gun club's secretary, an old soldier with his left hand missing at the wrist, took down the matter of the materials for the purchase by the honorable, Henry Charles Noble, Captain of the London gun club. With his one good hand of course.
[More to come, busy busy at the moment!, a teaser for those who do not know what the gun club refers to ]