Dirk Krugar flailed his arms helplessly as he fell head over heels into the abyss beneath the Brigadier's office. Just as the massive trapdoor above him slammed shut - plunging the whole area into total darkness - he hit the water beneath him with an almighty splash. Despite himself he screamed loudly - the Brigadier's last word coming to the forefront of his mind in massive, Technicolor letters
(1):
Crocodiles.
Frantically he pushed himself towards the surface and tried to stay very still; willing his eyes to adjust to the gloomy blackness. He needed to get his bearings - doing so would serve him much better than splashing around blindly in the darkness. That sort of panic would only attract the crocs.
Off to his left he heard another splash, as if something had slid into the water. "
This is it", he mused. "
Munched by a croc under some mad British general's residence - hardly the end I'd have chosen."
Another splash, this time closer. Dirk held his breath. If the beast got near enough to him he could attempt a last, desperate attempt to leap over it and at least buy himself some time. But he had to stay still. There was still a chance the croc didn't know exactly where he was, and moving would only alert it to his presence.
As he waited, there was a much smaller
plop and some frantic splashing followed by a voice, in English, muttering "Oh shit." Dirk froze. Unless he was very much mistaken crocodiles, even ones in the employ of insane British officers, couldn't speak. There was some more splashing and eventually the voice - a man's by the sound of it - said "Er... This is quite embarrassing, but you don't have a light do you?"
Dirk, understandably, wasn't entirely sure how to respond to this.
"A light?"
"Yeah - I've only gone and dropped the bloody matches in the water so I can't light this lamp. Look, do us a favour will you - I'm going to nip back and get some matches. While I'm gone can you thrash around a little bit and scream? Just as if you were being eaten alive by crocodiles, yeah?"
"You want me to lie in a pool of crocodile infested water and thrash about screaming, kidding on that I'm being eaten by crocodiles? I don't want to sound like a girl or anything, but won't that attract the real crocodiles who'll then help me make my performance a lot more realistic?"
There was a soft chuckle in the darkness.
"Don't you worry about that chum - there are no crocodiles down here. But Himself up there doesn't know that. So just thrash around a bit whilst I'm gone and sound like you're dying horribly. If you hear the trapdoor opening turn over and lie face down - try to spread yourself out in a "just savaged" kind of position. I'll be two ticks ok?"
Before Dirk could answer there was some more splashing that receded into the distance. With nothing to lose he started thrashing around violently and screaming.
He felt very silly - but very relieved.
~~~
Lucas looked incredulously at the other teenagers.
"And you swear you're not just winding me up? That this isn't just another attempt to humiliate me for your own amusement?"
Rina looked at him with big doe-eyes and bit her bottom lip
(2).
"Lucas, we're your friends. Tell me you'll play our new game?"
Inwardly Lucas melted and sat down with the rest of them.
"Well, ok. But I won't be happy if you all tease me again. I'm not just here for your amusement you know!"
Everyone nodded and muttered affirmatives in a completely non-committal way, and Jurie explained the rules of the game they were going to play. Lucas didn't seem convinced.
"And what's the point of this game?"
"It tests our reflexes - the winner is the one with the fastest reflexes."
"I'm not sure..."
"What's not to be sure about?"
"This just seems a bit like that time when you told me that if I grasped a nettle quickly enough it wouldn't sting..."
"Well, you didn't grasp it quick enough."
"I couldn't clench my fist for over a week!"
"Lucky for me!"
"It also reminds of when Piet said that if you put a heavy book, like the Bible, on your knee and hit it with a hammer you wouldn't feel the pain."
Piet growled.
"I never said ‘use the Bible’ - it's your own fault it hurt. You used the Bible. God doesn't like it when you smack the Good Book with your uncle's tools. Therefore he punished you. You’re probably going to Hell for that you know."
Lucas looked worried, but ignored Piet.
"So you all promise that this is not going to end in me hurting myself in some comic manner?"
The other four adolescents were the picture of cherubic innocence
(3). Jurie held out the deck of cards.
"Come on - just play. I turn over the cards one by one, and when I turn over a face card the first person to throw their arms in the air, waving their hands and shouting the name of the card gets to keep it. The person with the most cards at the end of twelve rounds wins."
Lucas - the sane part of his mind screaming at him not to get involved - shuffled into the circle with the rest of them in as Jurie started to turn over the cards.
Three of clubs...
Ace of spades...
Ten of hearts...
Seven of spades...
Queen of diamonds...
With reflexes that would have put a ninja to shame, Lucas thrust his arms in the air and started waving his hands like a madman.
"Queen!" he yelled with a gusto that bordered on insanity. "QUEEN!"
Jurie raised any eyebrow and pointed at Lucas.
"Gay."
The other three fell about laughing. Lucas stopped waving his hands and scowled.
"You bastards!"
He struggled to his feet.
"That does it - I'm going back to the farm. Helping my uncle, even in this blazing heat, is better than being with you
doos!"
As he stormed off Rina turned to the others and beamed.
"That was fun. I'm still bored though."
Piet growled.
"Shut it princess!"
1. In this case the letters were various shades of red and most of them were in the sort of font that made it look as if rivulets of blood were running from them.
2. Her secret weapon. It worked on nearly all men and made nearly all women want to strangle her.
3. Except Susan. She looked like some kind of grubby, unkempt moss-creature. More like a wood sprite than anything celestial.