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the last king was waaay too competent...the scottish throne was inflitrated by non-scots :eek:
...
that is a good thing, right?


anyway, great AAR, well done:rofl:
 
Congratulations! Rule Caledonia!

I *almost* conquered the world with Scotland in my mega campaign, so the fact that you've done the same in a much smaller time scale impresses me no end!
 
Thank you hugely for the replies, they are much appreciated!

MizarNX - Thank you for the kind words (bribe in the post of course)! I'm glad but also slightly worried that I have inspired you to play as Scotland. Yet more incompetence unleashed upon an unsuspecting world!

PrawnStar - Thank you (bribe, as ever, in the post!). I drink both non-stop anyway! My infamy was reasonably acceptable. However keeping in mind that it was the horrifying goal of a Scottish world conquest, I really think the EU3 infamy system should have broken. My PC should also have blown-up for good measure.

loki100 - Thank you hugely for the kind words (another bribe is in the post!). I'm still contemplating the project we have both discussed. I think it needs alot of work as of yet!

History_Buff - Thank you very much for the kind words (your bribe is en route!). Yes, it did become a bit tiresome towards the end, but it was rather during the warring with Muscowy that I was struggling to play the game at all, the amount of rebels was horrendous...due to my shocking incompetence admittedly! As for another AAR...well quite possibly.

lordkestrel - Thank you hugely for the kind words, much appreciated (bribe in the post of course!).

Yes, it all boils down to whether or not England gets the mission to conquer/vassalize Scotland early on I found (you really need hope they get the mission to expand their French holdings). If they do get that mission, then things look rather grim unless they are drawn into a war overseas before getting a chance to strike. It was actually on my fifth restart that I finally managed to catch England out with my shockingly underhanded tactics...and well, you know how it progressed from there!

sjones25 - Thank you most sincerely (your bribe is in the post!). I concur, which is why there is one last update to be made...

blsteen - Thank you for the kind words, much appreciated (yet another bribe is in the post, of course!). Thank goodness it is only the EU3 world which has been conquered!

Mico94 - Thank you (bribe in the post of course!). I concur, James V is far too competent. Thankfully that is righted in this last update...

Iain Wilson - Thank you hugely for the kind words (another bribe is finding its way to you!). I am far more impressed with your own exploits with Suenik. I almost felt sorry for the Sultanate of Seljuk Turks in the last update!

Sybot - Thank you for the kind words (bribe in the post!). I agree, thank goodness this is but a game.

sprites - Thank you most sincerely (your bribe is in the post of course!). The Scottish soldiers just did not stop rolling from one victim to another, hence the quick time!

I really just wish to say thank you everyone for the kind words. I really appreciate everyone who has taken the time to view this thread, and everyone who has been moved to leave a reply. The replies really mean alot. I've truly enjoyed finally typing up an AAR, it is something I had been wishing to do for sometime having read so many superb works on this forum beforehand. Thus thank you all, I am hugely grateful.

I'm afraid to say this current AAR is not quite finished yet however. There is one last update left...

(apologies in advance for the next post, I am going to be going over the twenty screenshot rule, only by one however - the bribe is in the post to all mods to overlook this shocking transgression!)

(yet more apologies to Herbert, who earlier posted the suggestion of making refineries on every sugar and wine province. I did not forget the suggestion, I just had a wish to bring an end to the game and this AAR without having the will to complete that objective!)
 
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Although all other nations have been bested and Scotland is undisputed conqueror of the world, this AAR is not yet finished. Wait, do not begin destroying your monitor, its nearly finished! Since this is a world conquest, I think it only fitting for all provinces in the game to be colonised before the world can be truly deemed conquered. Scotland has not even had a chance to ruin the last unsullied continent, Australia, yet. The Australians cannot escape the fate of all other citizens of the world.

However before the hugely exciting process of colonisation is fully focussed upon (yawn), here is a map of the world at this point, with only Scotland remaining.

UP36worldmapScotconq.jpg


Thankfully colonisation should not take too long. All coastal centres of trade were left standing simply for the colonist boost they provide.

UP36colonists.jpg


With 4.60 colonists per year, the end of this AAR is mercifully in sight (frankly the actual number of colonists gained every year should be in the stratosphere considering they are Scots desperate to escape their rain soaked homelands). Colonisation should thus prove a cinch. Scotland has a good, proud tradition of colonising land after all.

South America instantly becomes a favoured destination for alcoholic Scottish colonists after the discovery of wine.

UP36wine.jpg


Whilst the mind numbling boring process of colonisation continues unabated...disaster suddenly strikes!

UP36heirdies.jpg


Is this the end of the Stuart family, just as their ineptness was coming to fruition? Will there be no more inbred James'?

Thankfully His Majesty rises to the occasion. In more ways than one...

UP36Caesar.jpg


The Stuart name shall live on! As...Caesar I? There having been previous Scottish Kings named Alexander, James V takes the intelligent decision that picking a new non-tradional Scottish name may actually allow for a halfway able Stuart king. Thus is this child, born to such signs of greatness, named after one of the famed leaders of the world, to finally prove a competent Scottish monarch?

UP36suckyheir.jpg


As if.

You may call a toilet a throne, but a crapper it remains. And crap any Stuart remains.

In November 1603 explorers sight land, what is the name of this newly found island?

UP36bourbon.jpg


Word of this land must never reach Scotland. Bourbon would be so swamped by alcoholic Scottish colonists that it would sink below the sea.

Caesar I is crowned in July 1616.

UP36caesarcrowned.jpg


Regardless of his name and the manner of his birth, he is a true Stuart. He is a true Scot. He is truly useless.

Having not been crowned with a ready made James heir in tow, disgruntled muttering is heard against Caesar. He quickly moves to quell such discontent.

UP36childfromthereeds.jpg


Uhm...by plucking a baby from a stream? Once again the question of how exactly Scottish children are born is one which only the brave or foolhardy dare consider.

Discontentment grows amongst the Scottish citizenry. Caesar unsurprisingly, and wisely, names his new heir James...

UP36heirtoogood.jpg


...but look at those stats! He is no Stuart!

James falls ill. Caesar prays to God that 'his' son is cured.

UP36heirill.jpg


God allowed for this massive empire to be built by Scotland, surely he thus supports the Stuart family? Surely he is not peeved at Scotland's repeated annexation of the Papal States?

UP36heirdiesagain.jpg


Damnation.

Is this the end of the Stuart line? Will their line die out just before all provinces are colonised? Will I continually ask the same questions in the desperate attempt to create drama and prompt interest in this AAR? Uhm...yes.

The last continent falls to Scottish expansion in September 1620!

UP37Australiasettled.jpg


Australia can suffer just like everywhere else.

The nation has been growing increasingly worried due to the lack of an heir. Granted another family taking over would probably be an improvement upon the Stuart house. However knowing the luck of the average Scot, any new family would probably be twice as bad. Even though that does seem near impossible.

Thankfully...

UP37CaesarII.jpg


Hmm...You would almost think Caesar set this up just so he could name his son after himself. Following the tradition of inbreds everywhere, Caesar is given his father's name. Caesar is the new heir!

Colonisation continues apace.

[I actually thought I would have to end my colonisation drive in 1624 after suffering the colonisation bug. Wherein the game kept crashing to Windows as soon as I loaded up my save. Deleting all active colonists from the save thankfully solved the problem. No doubt you, the reader, are delighted that this AAR did not end prematurely. You get to read yet more drivel.]

In December 1637 Caesar II is crowned!

UP37newking.jpg


And is rather confusingly referred to as Caesar Stuart rather than Caesar II. Sigh...

On the 2nd of September 1642 the World accepts full annexation.

The last remaining free province has been colonised. The world belongs to Scotland.

UP37lastprovince.jpg


Dorothy will have a hard job following the yellow brick road home to Kansas now that the whole world is painted yellow.

A quick overview of Scotland at this stage.

Scotland's technology lagged behind all other western nations due to her large size, my utter incompetence in continuing to pump spending into stability long after it was feasible and the general stupidity of Scottish subjects. Money was never an issue throughout the game. If it did become at all worrying, Masters of the Mint were merely hired in order to allow for some more minting. Scots miserly attitude was beneficial in this regard.

UP37techandfinance.jpg


The list of Scotland's high society, her monarchy, in the previous few years. In this case high society, low brainpower.

UP37kinglist.jpg


I am sad to say that Scottish is the dominant culture in the world, by a considerable margin. Thankfully this is only a game. If this was anywhere near a truthful representation of things, I would be amongst the first drowning their sorrows. Actually since I am Scottish, I do that anyway...

UP37pies.jpg


However Scots remains true to form. The dominant nationality on the globe and...

UP37endingscreen.jpg


...they hate themselves for it. Greatest in the world? Well thats a title won by default seeing as there is only one nation left.

Here is a sight none would ever wish to see. The whole world turned yellow bellied.

UP37yellowworld.jpg


Now that the world has been conquered, it has turned into an inebriated mellow yellow.

Fin.


Or perhaps not...
 
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hrm...we should post on the bug reports forum where Scottish culture provinces should demand 200% wine...
 
Wonderful AAR - and well done on finishing. There's nothing more depressing than seeing an AAR I enjoy peter out into nothingness!

Interesting that you bring up the Darian venture. Did you know that our glorious nation's other colonial achievments include colonising malarial swamps and giving them pretty names like "Dolphin Bay" or invading and stealing other people's colonies (hello France!).

As for oddly named Scottish kings, EUIII isn't being wierd when it offers you a king named Ceaser. We've had not one, but TWO kings called Constantine (a traditional Scottish name I'm sure you'll agree!). And Constantine the first is known down the years as "The Wine Bountiful".

Short of changing "wine" to "whisky" I don't know how you could make that honourific any more Scottish if you tried...
 
Thank you hugely the replies!

Revshawn - Thank you kindly (bribe in the post of course!).

naggy - I could not agree more. Shocking oversight by Paradox.

theconfusedone - Thank you for the kind words (bribe in the post), the new AAR is now here. I daresay you'll regret wishing for it once you begin reading my drivel once more!

kadvael56 - Indeed, the world now lives in a state of constant collective hangover!

Iain Wilson - Thank you hugely for the kind words (yet another bribe is in the post!).

I had heard about Scotland's colonial exploits, makes you proud! I had also heard about our wonderfully named Kings called Constantine (due to having to learn about Roman law actually, as Scots law is based upon Roman law for the most part - what a surprise, we steal someone elses legal system as we're too lazy/drunk/thick to come up with our own!).

I had not heard of Constantine I being known as 'the Wine Bountiful' however - how very, very fitting!

Lithuid - Thank you hugely (your bribe is, as ever, in the post!).

The reason I have performed this minor act of necromancy is due to my wish to respond to you kind readers before I embark upon my second AAR. This poor forum is about to suffer once more...
 
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Well I just finished reading this, :eek:o and I must say, amazing job morningSIDEr! And don't worry, you were funny! :D