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Thread: Behind Enemy Lines - A PIC2010 AAR

  1. #21
    Quote Originally Posted by Monnikje View Post
    --- Secret Status Report ---

    I can't talk much, because Paradox people are all around me. They are even behind me as we speak! I did manage to hack into a computer, but so far I haven't found a trace of Crusader Kings 2 yet. More computers will follow soon ...

    --- End of Report ---
    Which, if Paradox really -were- watching your every move, would be an ideal way of tipping us off to the fact that you HAVE found traces of Crusader Kings 2.

  2. #22
    Corporal Cannonfodder Killerflood's Avatar
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    Just unleash a CK2 spam virus into the Paradox mainframe. Each time they announce something that is not CK2 they'll be spammed by a thousand spam letters and will only go away if CK2 is announced.

    I'm downloading the virus file to your PDA/Cell phone/computer right now.
    My own quotes:
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    "A stagnant brain is a very bad thing. Try keeping your head open to allow fresh air in but not open enough for your brain to fall out."

    "Nothing is true, everything is permitted."
    -Altair

  3. #23
    Mr. Blue Sky montfort94's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Killerflood View Post
    Just unleash a CK2 spam virus into the Paradox mainframe. Each time they announce something that is not CK2 they'll be spammed by a thousand spam letters and will only go away if CK2 is announced.

    I'm downloading the virus file to your PDA/Cell phone/computer right now.
    Brilliant!

  4. #24
    AoD's Old Geezer Balesir's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Killerflood View Post
    Just unleash a CK2 spam virus into the Paradox mainframe. Each time they announce something that is not CK2 they'll be spammed by a thousand spam letters and will only go away if CK2 is announced.
    I may be missing something, but isn't this already in place?
    Balesir.
    ======
    Arsenal of Democracy - Hearts of Iron 2 on steroids...

  5. #25
    Johan's Home Account Paradox Dev Team Balor's Avatar
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    No update yet?

    *weak* :P

    We went a bunch of people out of the office at around 10-ish to a local pub.. I know most where home to sleep and prepare for the next day, but me, King, Regina, Shams, Forzaa, Aerie and some random press people decided we should continue.

    Oh well, I personally only have to be at the event at 9am tomorrow :P

  6. #26
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    Quote Originally Posted by Balor View Post
    No update yet?

    *weak* :P
    Is this a teaser?

  7. #27
    General Will Lucky's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by DaPacemDomine View Post
    Which, if Paradox really -were- watching your every move, would be an ideal way of tipping us off to the fact that you HAVE found traces of Crusader Kings 2.
    No, Johan posted that. He is making sure no one knows of what is to come and has had to temporarily be rid of the only person who could have ruined it all .

  8. #28
    Secret Agent Monnikje's Avatar
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    And Paradox made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so. And Paradox called the firmament Hearts of Iron. And the evening and the morning were the second day.

    We travelled to Eindhoven airport.

    Ladies and gentlemen, the first part of the mission has been succesful: we have both infiltrated in the Paradox Headquarters. It wasn't that easy to go there though. We had to travel the whole day, and had to face some real security issues. It all started this morning when I decided not to take the bike, but to go by tram. Of course they were waiting for me, and had to report my departure. But I did see that tram driving away just in front of me. I was on to them! So I jumped onto the next, and began a thrilling 30 minute chase, which ended up at Amsterdam Central Station.


    I finally caught up with the enemy tram at Amsterdam Central Station.

    I arrived a few minutes before eleven o'clock in the morning at Amsterdam Central Station. Maybe it was a good idea that I had left my bike home, since it would be absolutely lost in the vast majority of bikes already present. But on the other hand, it would perfectly blend in, and disappear easily. Anyway, I did meet up with Mark, and from there on we travelled together.


    Did I already mention that there are a lot of bikes in Amsterdam?

    We exchanged some money, and just got in time to catch the 11.38 train. The trip was smooth and perfect: all according to plan. We arrived at 13.00 at Eindhoven Central Station, and from there quickly took the 13.10 bus to the airport. After a 21 minute trip we were finally there: the place where our plane would leave, and from where we would start our dropping mission. We were allowed according to the flight information to take our parachutes, so in case of an emergency we would be save.


    Here I stand in front of Eindhoven airport.

    We were really early: in case of delays we would still have a lot of time left to be on time. The gate would close at 15.10 straight. But when it would open... That remained unclear for a long time. And even which gate... We heared at 15.00 that we should board at gate 4, and while the closing time crawled awfully close, we weren't allowed through yet. It wasn't till the latest possible moment, seconds before closing time, that the gate opened. We did manage to get through, and get on time on the plane.

    Once on the plane, the real danger started. Of course there was the acceleration, and the rising till a height of 10 km with the freezing cold up there, but there was something else. Once high up, in the middle of dangerous turbulence zones and trying to avoid the Danish Flak canons who had heard about our departure from a certain tram, I spotted that the window I was sitting next was actually loose. I was able to stick my finger through the window, and quickly returned it before it would freeze off. I found it pretty amuzing. When we landed, and I walked towards the exit, I told this to the steward and one of the stewardesses, and they immediately panicked. Their eyes wided, mouths fell open and asked in a broken and defeated voice if I wasn't hurt, and which window it was. I pointed it out, and exited the plane with a smile. I hadn't set foot on Swedish soil yet and was already spreading panick.


    The window was loose. Here you see my finger next to it: if I pushed a little to the window, I could stick my finger through it.

    We walked for a short while, and entered the terminal of Skavsta Airport through the gate. Almost all people wen to the right, so we followed. After approximately 10 meters after entering the terminal, we saw a really big sign, saying something like:

    Quote Originally Posted by sign
    When you can read this, you have forgotten to collect your luggage. You can't go back anymore, so you're screwed.
    The moment we turned around, a guard with a really large dog showed up and drove us forward, away from the luggage, which we could basically see laying 10 meters away from us. So we moved forward, until a very large, bald and intimidating security officer rose before us, like the ground had split and a demon from hell had crawled out. He seemed surprised that we had 'forgotten' our luggage, and was even more surprised when more and more people showed up with the same story. He went into an office, and came back. He looked very angry, and we looked back. He fled again into the office, and came back. This time he took us all back to the luggage department, where we could collect our luggage.

    In the meantime it was 17.49, and the bus would leave at 17.50. So we ran hard to the ticket office, quickly bought some tickets, and ran over the snowy runway to the busstop, where luckily the bus was still waiting. We got on the bus, and then realised I had to contact the secret informant we have at the office. But unfortunately an EMP-wave had been launched, killing every possibility to use a mobile phone. We relayed our problem to the bus driver, who then took us back to the airport. He walked with us to the phone there, leaving the bus and luggage compartment wide open. But apparently nothing happened, since we found the bus in perfect condition when we returned. Wonderfull, in Holland the bus would have been hijacked at least five times by this moment.


    Some cars got sabotaged by aftershocks of that EMP-wave.

    We got on the bus, which left at 18.00. We drove for 80 minutes, which gave me the time to update my status in this thread. I tried to look outside, but couldn't see further than 5 meters. It was dark, snowy and even darker. Were we riding to Stockholm, or to Mordor? I really couldn't tell the difference, especially after seeing MCDonalds at least two or three times. But in the end we turned up at Stockholm Central Station, and stepped out of the bus next to a taxi stand.

    We were expecting a taxi waiting for us over there, it had been promised by our informant. But there was no sign to be seen. We asked the first taxi driver in the row, but he didn't understand our question. We didn't understand his answer too, so that seemed to be working perfect. So we roamed around, had a look over here, over there, but still couldn't find the taxi waiting for us. So we went back to the taxi's, and asked again to a different driver. Two others came to interfere with our discussion, and after at least five or ten minutes of talking across each other, we found out that there was another taxi stand just around the corner. When we went there, the taxi was still waiting for us, although Paradox had already be informed that we hadn't showed up and the taxi had left already. That was of course a diversion, as you all know, to divert the attention of any hostile tram to other area's of the city. Anyway, it was still there, and we were driven to the hotel, from where we went to Paradox HQ, where I manage to hijack one of their computers.

    This evening we first roamed the Paradox Office, and then followed them all into a pub where devs from all places secretly met. They tried to be normal people by entering a pub, but we now know the thruth. The shocking thruth... Anyway, I spent a lot of time there with a very important person. You might recognize him.


    Me and the most important person. I quote:

    Quote Originally Posted by Davisx3m
    May the ForzA be with you!
    Midnight aproached before I left the pub. I had gathered enough intel for now. But I had already told you... I'm evil. So I won't tell you my findings yet. But I can assure you, some of the questions you have all asked have been answered. To me it is, not to you. Had I already told you I'm evil?


    It's late in the night, and still I work hard to bring you an update, under the watchfull eyes of the world. I have already seen the clock pass 3.00 at least two times, so I guess I'm in the Twilight Zone.

    This concludes my first briefing from Stockholm, the heart and lungs of the Paradoxian Empire. Tomorrow a busy schedule awaits me, with room for a lot of questions and possibilities for hacking into the Paradox Mainframe. The secret devices are in place, and the first test results should be in a short while. Expect more tomorrow night. See you then.


    Both in Eindhoven and Skavsta we were the Enemy At The Gates.

    Me, Floris - A 'Mount & Blade: Warband' AAR: Floris IV of Holland enters Calradia, and tries to make the best of it. Winner of the AARland Choice AwAARds 2010 (Round 3) open category!

    Inkwell: If you want to learn more!

  9. #29
    Corporal Cannonfodder Killerflood's Avatar
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    Make sure to put the spam-capacitor at max spamming in order to rip open a veil into the spam dimension!
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  10. #30
    ВИТЕЗ СА ШТИТОМ WanderingKnight's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Monnikje View Post
    Once on the plane, the real danger started. Of course there was the acceleration, and the rising till a height of 10 km with the freezing cold up there, but there was something else. Once high up, in the middle of dangerous turbulence zones and trying to avoid the Danish Flak canons who had heard about our departure from a certain tram, I spotted that the window I was sitting next was actually loose. I was able to stick my finger through the window, and quickly returned it before it would freeze off. I found it pretty amuzing. When we landed, and I walked towards the exit, I told this to the steward and one of the stewardesses, and they immediately panicked. Their eyes wided, mouths fell open and asked in a broken and defeated voice if I wasn't hurt, and which window it was. I pointed it out, and exited the plane with a smile. I hadn't set foot on Swedish soil yet and was already spreading panick.


    The window was loose. Here you see my finger next to it: if I pushed a little to the window, I could stick my finger through it.
    I can not belive this. Even window glass look demaged. Let me know what kind of company you travelled with, so I can send my mother-in-law with them for some vacation somewere in north, north Sweden

    On the other hand look like you handle it well, I guess you also though the same as me now: "It could be worst, this could be submarine Amsterdam-Stockholm"

    And btw: Didn't you notice that they screwed you totaly? They advertised sunny weather and girls in mini skirts and as I can see nothing look the same now when you are ther, pff... look colder than here in Canada

  11. #31
    Join date April 2002 Kayapo's Avatar
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    Good stuff. Oh how I wish I could be there. Although...I'm not a very cold-friendly person.

    Don't let them fool you into a false sense of security by giving you drinks and pretending to be friendly. This is Paradox we are talking about. You are at the Wolf's Den, don't sleep, don't breath stay alert at all times.

    If you see a piece of paper with the letters C+K plus any random number jump all over it and hold it as proof. It might just be enough for us to sue and force them to make the game.


    Enjoy yourself.

    Just for the record. It is about 30°C right now where I live.

  12. #32
    Secret Agent Monnikje's Avatar
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    As far as I know there is only one company flying from Eindhoven to Stockholm Skavsta: Ryanair. I wasn't sucked out of the window, so you don't hear me complain . And the glas window actually wasn't damaged: that was the cold condense and frozen drops on there. Just a little dirty window .

    When I landed in Skavsta it was -3 degrees Celcius, and when I arrived in Stockholm it was zero degrees. A lot warmer than expected! I'm even walking in my t-shirt over here, so I'm satisfied with the warmth. It's at least not the -25 degrees it were a few weeks ago (and 30 degrees is a little to hot for me if you ask me ).

    I just got up, but a larger and more detailed investigation will follow today!
    Me, Floris - A 'Mount & Blade: Warband' AAR: Floris IV of Holland enters Calradia, and tries to make the best of it. Winner of the AARland Choice AwAARds 2010 (Round 3) open category!

    Inkwell: If you want to learn more!

  13. #33
    First Lieutenant crusaderking's Avatar
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    30 degrees is hot???? I live in Abu Dhabi and it goes upto 50 degrees!!!! But its fun....especially when u play football in that heat.....
    Check out my mod, which substitutes Unique National Ideas with decisions and events (Not complete yet - Delayed due to college workload): Realm Management

  14. #34
    Pater Familias of WW-forum Rysz's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by WanderingKnight View Post
    I can not belive this. Even window glass look demaged. Let me know what kind of company you travelled with, so I can send my mother-in-law with them for some vacation somewere in north, north Sweden

    On the other hand look like you handle it well, I guess you also though the same as me now: "It could be worst, this could be submarine Amsterdam-Stockholm"

    And btw: Didn't you notice that they screwed you totaly? They advertised sunny weather and girls in mini skirts and as I can see nothing look the same now when you are ther, pff... look colder than here in Canada
    As Monnikje stated, it is Ryanair. But nothing to worry about. First of all, what you see loose is only the wall panelling. Your finger won't freeze of, as it is still inside the pressure tube that actually is an aircraft. Also, there are actually two windows. One on the inside and one on the outside. The one on the outside is sealed with the bulkhead, to maintain the pressure inside. A little (or more) condense can form between the two windows, which is quite usual.

    I've twice flown with Ryanair lately, and I do know some first officers (one of which actually was the pilot for one of those flights ), and I can tell you that if there was any suspicioun about the safety, the aircraft would not take off. The stewardesses were probably just teasing you.
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  15. #35
    -{Kaiserreich Team]- Davisx3m's Avatar
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    Awesome update!
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  16. #36
    Secret Agent Monnikje's Avatar
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    --- Secret Status Report ---

    The presentations have just finished, and we're preparing ourselves for dinner. All the requiered data has been acquiered. You'll now only have to await my daily mission reports for more updates. On my way for dinner!

    --- End of Report ---

    Rysz: I know it wasn't that dangerous as I made it sound, but this made a more interesting read, doesn't it ?
    Me, Floris - A 'Mount & Blade: Warband' AAR: Floris IV of Holland enters Calradia, and tries to make the best of it. Winner of the AARland Choice AwAARds 2010 (Round 3) open category!

    Inkwell: If you want to learn more!

  17. #37
    Join date April 2002 Kayapo's Avatar
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    Rumors are circulating that tomorrow's announcement is MM and not CK2.

    It is time we enforce our backup plan. So here is your go ahead to start using biological, psicological warfare tonight at dinner.

    Whatever it takes. If tomorrow we don't have CK2, then god have mercy on all of us.






  18. #38
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    I wan't pics of Ubik and his game!
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  19. #39
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    Join Date
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    Quote Originally Posted by thefreeman View Post
    i wan't pics of ubik and his game!
    +1!!
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  20. #40
    Paradox would be really dumb not to release ck2

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