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The world as it is today, by Lt. George Colthurst St Barleigh, age 30

Well Colonel, here is my report on the world as it is today, after the temporary setbacks after the Great War and the rise of sinister French syndicalism has forced us to a temporary vacation in Canada.
Hope you like my report Colonel, George.

Since young George tends to get carried away, I will try to filter out the young lieutenants more ‘exotic’ theories – Mainwaring.

The America’s

world1.jpg


The big reddish country is us, Canada, home to exotic animals as grizzlybears, elks, lumberjacks and Quebecois (the last two, exotic as they may be, are actually humans George). Our capital is at Ottawa and our King is called George too (George V in fact). Our PM is a Canadian man called King Mackenzie, which confuses me, since I thought there was just one king (the man is called Mackenzie King, and he is not royalty, George). This quaint nation is just our temporary home, ofcourse.

The blue guys below us are our American cousins. They usually don’t bother with the rest of the world. Capt. Mainwaring told me that there will be an important election next year, and that things might get violent. Their president is called Hoover and their capital is Washington DC, DC probably standing for Da Capital (it stand for District of Columbia, George. Please consult an atlas before writing these things). Other big cities are New York, Chicago, San Francisco and Gotham City (you really shouldn’t read those American Comics, George).
Most of the little islands below them are part of the Carribean Federation, which are part of our alliance, and supply us with sugar for our tea. There are other small islands with strange names as Dominican Republic, Haiti and Cuba.
Below the US lies Mexico. I don’t like them, they are syndicalist and their food gives me a tummyache (relevance, George, relevance). There are more countries, but I forgot their names.

world2.jpg


The largest countries are Brazil and La Plata, which is Argentina with a funny new name. The sinister syndicalists are very active in Brazil. La Plata are very friendly with the bellicose Boche. Most nations simply want to be left alone.

Africa

world3.jpg


Most of the continent is ruled by a fat German named Hermann (Goering). He rules the former German colonies, the Belgian, well the German Congo, and several rightfully British colonies. To the south lies South Africa, which makes sense, although I sometimes wonder is the Eskimo’s of Antartica call it North Africa (Eskimo’s do not live on Antartica George). Further, Egypt and Ethiopia lie in Africa. Also, the Frenchies of National France are on a holiday in the Sahara, after syndicalists took over France. But since they live in the Sahara, shouldn’t we call them Saharians? (No we really shouldn’t, George).

Europe

Europe really confuses me. There are many new countries with very confusing names

world4.jpg


First there is Mitteleuropa, German for Meddling in Europe (No George, it is German for Central Europe). It exists of the blatantly bellicose Boche and their cronies in Eastern Europe and TNFKAB (the nation formally known as Belgium). There former partners in crime during the Great War still exist too, Bulgaria, Turkey and Austria-Hungary-Bohemia-Croatia-Bosnia-Galicia-Lodomeria.

Then there is the evil syndicalists in France and in a part of Italy. Poor Old Blighty is ruled by those sinister sychophantic syndies too, after footballhooligans started a revolution against us. I wonder if the same thing happened in France and Italy too? (I do not know where to start correcting this, George).

Then there is Russia, which is very large. Their national hobby is drinking Vodka, and since they are always drunk, they haven’t rebuilt their country yet after the war (Interesting thesis George, but the Russian revolution and political unrest might have something to do with it too).

world5.jpg


At last there are a lot of countries nobody cares about, like the Netherlands, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Serbia, Greece and so on (the people in those countries might think otherwise).

Asia

The map of Asia looks really strange without British colonies. First there is the middle east, which looks as it has always looked, with a lot of angry Turks, Arabs and Persians fighting eachother.

world6.jpg


India, the former jewel of the crown is split in three parts: Delhi, Bengal and the Princely Federation.
The Federation exists of petty feudal princes who don’t like us, Delhi exists of petty feudal princes who DO like us and in Bengal all petty feudal princes have been killed by the syndies, wether they liked us or not.

world7.jpg


China is split too between Muslim-Chinese (Xibei San Ma), Mongolian-led-by angry-mad-Russian-Chinese (Mongolia, they are not Chinese, George), Tibetan-Chinese (Again, Tibet is not inhabited by Chinese), religious-loony-Chinese (Shangqing Tianguo), bandit-Chinese (Yunnan Clique), Japloving Chinese (Fengtien Republic), Germanloving Chinese (AlgOstasien), harbour-Chinese (Legation Cities) and Chinese-Chinese (Qing Empire). Then there is Japan, who wants to rule China too.

world8.jpg


At last, in the south lies another confusing new nation. It exists of Australia, New Zealand and Fiji, but somehow the Aussies called it Australasia instead of Austranewzealandfijia, which would make sense (Only in your head, George).

world9.jpg


This was my report on the world Colonel, but enough words, let us teach all those Syndies and Boche and their cronies that the world is better off with us Britons ruling all instead of them!!!

########################

I never could have imagined the number of reactions, there are too many to answer them all!! So to everyone, welcome aboard and I hope you like the Colonels adventures :D.

If anyone has questions on either the Kaiserreich-world or this AAR send them to Ask George. Lt. George will try his best to answer them (with the help of the Captain or the Colonel, ofcourse).
 
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Dear George, are there any plans to recover wayward colonies in a slightly southerly direction of Ottawa?
 
I think that Lt George should be seconded to the diplomatic service with such polished comments as these!
 
Ask George

Hello readers, my name is George and I've been asked to aswer your questions. It looks that there are some questions already!

Why did the Colonel decide it would be a good idea for George to answer questions?

Was that my first question?

Sigh. No George, just talking to myself.

brilliant, just brilliant :rofl:

Seems we have an Austro-Hungarian-Bohemian-Croatian-Bosnian-Galician-Lodomerian reader. Thank you and welcome aboard.

George, what did I say about making up countrynames?

Dear George, are there any plans to recover wayward colonies in a slightly southerly direction of Ottawa?

Us British are working hard returning all rightfully British territory to our benevolent rule. But, having said that, the Colonel really seems to dislike our American cousins. I don't know if he or his friends want them as countrymen. Personally I would love to travel to the states, always wanted to visit Gotham City!

Again, Gotham city is not a real place, but the rest of your answer seems to be true enough.

I think that Lt George should be seconded to the diplomatic service with such polished comments as these!

Ah yes, always dreamt of working for the foreign office. I am sure I would make a great impression on all those foreigners!

Poor, poor foreigners.
 
I want to visit Gotham City as well. :p
 
I see. And is the Colonel going to expand the Canadian Industry in order to produce more teacups, spoons and other assorted British Warfighting Gear?
 
Ask George

Yay, more questions

Dear George.

What flavour tea does the Colonel prefer. Assam or Earl Grey?

Yours.
Mrs. Carr (Housekeeping)

The one that tastes best, ofcourse.

Sigh. Dear Mrs. Carr. You should know that tea is quite a sensitive subject with the Colonel ever since Assam became part of syndicalist Bengal. Give him Earl Grey, and please don't mention that the leaves where imported from the AlgOstasien...

I want to visit Gotham City as well. :p

We can go together!!!

I am surrounded by idiots...

I see. And is the Colonel going to expand the Canadian Industry in order to produce more teacups, spoons and other assorted British Warfighting Gear?

Personally I would order them to make bowlerhats and umbrellas but then again... Oh, good evening Colonel.

Let me answer that question myself, George. The industry will expand when a larger army needs to be maintained and a larger army will be build after we have the industrial base to maintain them.

The Colonel probably means that both will be expanded.
 
George,

Do you know what happened to your commanding officer from the Great War Captain Blackadder?

Pip.
 
Ask George

George,

Do you know what happened to your commanding officer from the Great War Captain Blackadder?

Pip.

Ah Pip, old boy. I am afraid that I hadn't had the pleasure to fight in the Great War. My uncle from my mothers side did fight in the war though. He had the same great name as me. Aunty always told me that he was a bit funny in the head.

#############

I hope to post a new update tonight. The Colonel will meet up with some of his old chums at his Club. Expect Sir Neville, Lord Halifax and both Sir Winstons (dog and otherwise) to appear...
 
Dear George,

Does the Colonel have a relative who happens to be in the Navy and act as a beachmaster?




( The Longest Day Reference )
 
You know, for some reason I'm expecting to find Blackadder working as a mid-level syndicalist manager and hating every minute of it.
 
Dear George,

the following words ring a bell to you?

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Plus,

Have cavalry officers been entitled to wear their spurs when riding a tank?

And last but not least,

What is Theodor Kretschmar-Schuldorff doing right now?

PS: I miss Baldrick, too.
 
Since George is taking a nap I, FlyingDutchie, will answer this round of questions. Further questions will be answered by the Colonel this evening.

Dear George,

Does the Colonel have a relative who happens to be in the Navy and act as a beachmaster?




( The Longest Day Reference )

He certainly could be, if the beachmaster wasn't Scottish :D.

You know, for some reason I'm expecting to find Blackadder working as a mid-level syndicalist manager and hating every minute of it.

You sir gave me a wonderful idea :D. I can see Blackadder as a cynic, annoyed midlevel administrator, defecting to the winning side as soon as he finds the change...

Dear George,

the following words ring a bell to you?

Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!

Plus,

Have cavalry officers been entitled to wear their spurs when riding a tank?

And last but not least,

What is Theodor Kretschmar-Schuldorff doing right now?

PS: I miss Baldrick, too.

Alot of questions.

First, the good people of Kaiserreich have added General Baaaah in the game!!! You can expect to see him when the war starts.

Spurs in a tank! A tank! Like a true Briton would elect some iron deathtrap above his trusty horse!

As for the German with the long name, the Reich needs plenty of good officers. But I will deal with Germany later. We will meet a certain German included in the banner too.

As for poor Baldrick. Perhaps he will have a cameo later. I am trying to find a balance between my own writing and blatantly ripping off British comedy :D. Perhaps we will see some more characters later...
 
As for poor Baldrick. Perhaps he will have a cameo later. I am trying to find a balance between my own writing and blatantly ripping off British comedy :D. Perhaps we will see some more characters later...

I find myself having the same problem. More than once I was about to write a scene with a certain Infantry Officer whose name begins with B. :D
 
I find myself having the same problem. More than once I was about to write a scene with a certain Infantry Officer whose name begins with B. :D

Benny Hill? Did he become an Infantry Officer?

I'm confused.








:D:D:D:D:D
 
baldrick.jpg


This AAR is as cunning as a fox that used to be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University but has moved on and is now working for the U.N. at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning.
 
I find myself having the same problem. More than once I was about to write a scene with a certain Infantry Officer whose name begins with B. :D

Can understand that :D.

Benny Hill? Did he become an Infantry Officer?

I'm confused.

:D:D:D:D:D

Why can I picture a scene with the Colonel, George and officer Hill chasing scantily clad women around :D

baldrick.jpg


This AAR is as cunning as a fox that used to be Professor of Cunning at Oxford University but has moved on and is now working for the U.N. at the High Commission of International Cunning Planning.

:rofl::rofl::rofl: