What you eat is what you AAR - the worldwide introduction of estonian cuisine

[Supervixens]

Howdy-hoo!

Now this AAR will be a 1936 GC scenario played as Estonia. I´ve patched the game to 1.3. and changed some parametres of the game. Why? For the fun of it, no one would like to read an aar, which consists of building infra and some occasional infantry and ends with the event of SU annexing you. Besides I`m the total opposite of a grofaz - suck at strategy and even more at tactics.
So ladies and gents, I give you "What you eat is what you AAR". We all do it on a daily basis. Some of us just do it, some of us get great pleasure and enjoyment out of it and some of us unfortunately hate doing it. Of course, I´m talking about sex, oh sorry, that`s for another aar... I`m talking about eating. The goal of this aar will be to introduce a national estonian dish per update (until I run out of dishes to present) and a national dish of every country annexed/gie-d.
Let`s kick it off then: here are the modifications I have made.

The no neutrality cheat of course...
As you noticed I`ve changed the national unity from 70 to 90. After the war of liberty in 1918-1920 all estonians were unanimous in the goal of coming up with new national dishes and keeping the hairy hand of communism reaching Europe... that`s what NU represents to me...


... changes on politics and ministers...




... the program of industrialisation included going straight from researching fire to gas cooking ovens and from wooden sticks to infantry support weapons...


... no longer will the estonians have to walk on water, risking nasty fishbites and wet feet, the invention of viking boats has been a major breakthrough for our tiny seagoing nation...


... the powerhouse of estonian economy - Virumaa has been subjected to extracting humongous quantities of shale. By refining shale we get shale oil, gasoline (octane numbers between 1 and 1,5) and last but not least gas for our gas cooking ovens still being researched. Also the inhabitants in Pärnu and Tartu have been asked to rub themselves against any material producing static electricity, which will be transformed by "transformators" into an electric current, which will be used to power lighting bulbs in every home in Pärnu and Tartu in the small hours and late nights so that people of these towns will be able to see what they`re actually doing during dark periods of a 24 hour cycle. (Right.. the last sentence makes no sense whatsoever) This all results in greater IC and resources for our tiny industrial nation.




Since very few people (actually none) had obtained their brandnew gas cookers, there were some who abandoned the quest for new national dishes and joined the army and the airforce and the navy, resulting in the number of commanders quadrupleing (I most certainly misspelled it).

Having set up our tiny "soon to be filled with brandnew gas cooking ovens" country, without further delay, here`s the first dish -

MULGIKAPSAD

History: In the dark times before the medieval age estonian pagans were running happily around the forests, beating eachother with wooden sticks; occasionally braving the stormy seas and taking a stroll to Sweden where they would burn down a town or two, beating swedish persons with wooden sticks and then returning home to replenish themselves whatever they could find lying on the ground or hanging in the trees. Mostly there was gravel, from time to time small rocks, very seldom boulders, every now and then twigs or treebark. But those merry-go-lucky days were son to be changed. For from south the combined forces of german knights and six-toed latvians pushed northwards and brought with them, you guessed it... SAUERKRAUT. The estonian diet of nutricious gravel and tasteful bark was to be changed forever... But we were defiant, we added things in sauerkraut which didn`t belong there... tiny rocks, bits of limestone, mud from swamps... and we still keep doing it.
What does it consist of: Well there`s sauerkraut, pork, pork-fat, pearl barley and salt. And this is how it looks like:

Serve while hot with potatoes or medium-sized rocks.. yum-yum.
Do not try this: No tequila shots before, during or at least 2 hours after eating this meal - or you`ll spend the following 83 days in all 7 circles of hell.
Enjoy!

[Eastern_Empires]

Nice, Food and War, what could be more interesting ?

[loki100]

great - the AARs have been short on culinery details for a while so this fills a much needed gap in the literature

[Supervixens]

For teaming up with german knights and bringing us sauerkraut latvians are punished with a swift war and annexed. Out of curiosity some estonian soldiers have volunteered for testing a traditional latvian dish -

SKABPUTRA

History: Until this moment no non-latvian has ever tasted this culinary miracle and survived. It`s supposed to be a soup, but it hardly resembles one.
What`s it made of: Well, there`s water, some milk, some curdled milk, sour cream and pearl barley. Mixing those ingredients will result in this:


Do not try this: After having tested it vigorously the soldiers have come to a conclusion:
Soldier 1: Doesn´t taste like gravel at all, what a waste...
Soldier 2: Nor does it taste like something with a lot of milk in it...
Soldier 3: ...but it has corrosive properties, we might use it as an anti-tank weapon, well at least until we have researched some proper AT weaponry.
Soldier 4: I think there`s a sixth toe starting to grow on my foot (all latvians have six toes per foot, you know, it`s true).
Oh, almost forgot, if you`re not into the skabputra that much, try some BALZAM instead. It`s a really peculiar and finetasting herbal liqueur, they`ve got south there...

[Jemisi]

I've passed details of the menu onto my wife and am looking forwards to an interesting baltic experience.

[meravelha]

Both of those look remarkably good. I wouldn't mind some right now.

Well done for annexing Latvia before you've even grilled the herrings.
Off to a good start!

[Karelian]

Huvitav AAR

[Legolas]

That's a great concept. And I already wish to try out the mulgikapsad... I only need to find some decent medium-sized rocks for that.

I also wonder what Lithuanian dish you will choose to present

[Supervixens]

First of all, thank you foodlovers for your interest.

Jemisi: ... and You shall get more , hope Your wife likes to cook.

Eastern_Empires: More food?

loki100: TY, there`s an aar about poop already, so to balance things out I thought a pre-poop aar would make sense as well.

meravelha: Indeed they look good, though may not taste as good as they look (I`ve tried the Skabputra)

Karelian: TY, You`re really fluent in estonian .

Legolas: As for Lithuania ... here you are.




I really feel terrible doing this to latvians and lithuanians, so our beloved baltic neighbours, don`t think of it as an annexetion, rather as a Baltic Union... under Estonian rule

As for the traditional dish of Lithuania;

CEPELINAI - ZEPPELINS - dumplings made of potatoes.

History: Since the introduction of potatoes in the Baltic in 17-th century, the lithuanians have been obsessed with them. Making potato-pancakes wasn`t enough. Why just mash some potatoes and then fry them, when you can make things more complicated? Mash `em, roll `em into dumplings, put stuff in `em, roll `em again, then boil, cook, fry or eat `em raw
What goes in there: You can fill a Zeppelin with many different things, for instance helium or hydrogen, those light gases enable it to float and thus you can make a whole armada of airships. If not so belligerent fill `em with any kind of meat, mushrooms, sour cream, curd, onions, herbs, whatever you may like. And here`s what they look like:


The DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME, GO TO A FRIEND`S PLACE section: You can try eating Zeppelins at home, it`s perfectly safe, however when filled with Helium or Hydrogen, they might explode, so rather dine outside.

Having substantially strengthened the army with Skabputra AT technology and the airforce with new Zeppelins, the mighty estonian nation (and some latvians and lithuanians too), sharpened their wooden sticks and started to walk across the Baltic sea (oh yeah, they had a transport vikingboat too, so some sailed on that) towards Sweden to honour the tradition of beating swedish persons with wooden sticks and burning down one or two of their towns. These are the things to come in the next update...

[Eastern_Empires]

More food?

Touché

[Legolas]

Ah, yes, the wonderful Zeppelins - pride of the Lithuanian cuisine and airforce

I would also add another tidbit to the "don't try this at home" section. If you can, avoid making the zeppelins yourself - it's horrendously complicated.

[Karelian]

The Baltic Union arises!

Karelian: TY, You`re really fluent in estonian .

I just can't resist those Finno-Estonian language puns no matter how lame they are

[Supervixens]

Legolas: Tnx for the tip. So in order to get my fingers on the Zeppelins, I`d have to go to a Lithuanian restaurant (I can`t think of any in Estonia) or take a wife from Lithuania .

Karelian: Oh yes, I tend to enjoy them too .

Writing this aar has given me an idea. Since it`s Christmas in less then a month, I was wondering what traditional Christmas dishes different nations have. To my knowledge the latvians eat loads of ham, the americans eat turkey (might be thanksgiving, but as far as I`m concerned they eat turkey on every opportunuty), the finns ham again. So what I`ve come up with is a poll - What meal do you enjoy for your Christmas dinner.

Sidenote: THIS POLL IS NOT TO DISCRIMINATE AGAINST CULTURES OR RELIGIOUS GROUPS THAT DON`T CELEBRATE CHRISTMAS, OR IF IT IS, THEN ALL WILL BE DISCRIMINATED AGAINST EQUALLY.
All posts about what people eat at other festivities (Ramadan, Hannukah etc) are welcome as well.

The goal of this poll would be to gather as many festival dishes as possible, cast votes and come up with the best meals one can have at special occasions. (Maybe post the results to EU headquarters in Brussels, so the beaurocrats can come up with a standardized Christmas dinner for the EU - they really like to standardize and reglement things there )
Please set up your candidates before 20th of december, after that date we can start voting. No limitations of how many dishes you wish to announce. All suggestions about this topic are welcome (hope it`s not considered OT by the moderators).

I`ll go first:
In Estonia Christmas is celebrated in a feeding frenzy. The average family has at least 5-6 dishes for Christmas dinner. We have the modified version of sauerkraut - Mulgikapsad, herrings in marinade, spiced sprats, jellied meat, blood sausages, blood dumplings and many more dishes. My candidates for the vote are:

Blood dumplings - Verikäkk



Made of rye flour or oatmeal, pork blood, added onions and pork fat. The loaf of this mixture is sliced and fried on a pan until developes crust. Not sold in stores all year round, only in Christmas time.

Blood sausage - Verivorst



(I delibarately chose this ambiguous picture )
The mixture of pork blood, pork fat, pearl barley, salt, onions and spices is stuffed into pigs intestines (not a live one ) and shaped into sausages. Cooked in an oven or fried on a pan, served hot with apple sauce or even tastier, lingonberry jam. As Verikäkk not sold all year round.

Jellied meat - Sült



Well boiling a pigs head and feet until the flesh comes off the bones and adding salt and spices will result in the picture above (actually its more complicated, but I`m not a cook myself ). There`s stories around Estonia that in the times we were ruled by the Baltic german barons and estonians were reduced to being farmers, many of the germans were puzzled by the fact that the pigs of farmers had wooden legs . Since most of the farmers only had a pig or two, they wouldnt slaughter the animal to make jellied meat, they just took a leg. (Eating your full in Christmas time and starving the remainder of the year doesn`t make sense, does it now?) There were no reports of pigs in wheelchairs however . Now the saying "Man, I`m just pulling your leg" has obtained another meaning .

Will continue my aar in the next post, coming soon.

[Supervixens]

Now let`s take a break from the 4th best thing in life (the best 3 things in life are a drink before and a cigarette after ), and make some war, shall we?

I`ve come to the conclusion that if the Baltic Union is to survive the Soviet onslaught after the Molotov-Ribbentrop pact is signed by SU and Ger, it has to expand rapidly, gain more resources (especially manpower and leadership) and become what I shall call ... uhm... The Nordic Union.


Starting this process requires some military skill, which I don`t have, so I`ll be diplomatic instead: Beat the bastards!!!


After establishing a foothold in Southern Sweden the estonians are off to burn down the first town and beating its inhabitants with wooden sticks. Meanwhile two more transport boats have been produced, resulting in a total of 3 viking boats, which enables the transportation of a whole corps. A total of 2 infantry corps, each consisting of 3 inf divisions and a motorized division are deployed in Sweden. That`s all the army our not-yet-so-mighty nation has to offer. Also an interceptor wing consisting of Zeppelins is sent to the newly-conquered town of Malmö to ... well intercept.


Initial troop movements and composition.


The 1st Infantry Corps will be charged to move northwards towards Göteborg, the 2nd Infantry Corps is to take Karlskrona and then head for Stockholm. If all goes as planned there will be no ABBA and Ace of Base for the future generations.


Indeed, our plan of destroying the future music industry of Sweden is taking shape.


Excellent! Everybody in Sweden will be reduced to listening german schlagers.
And record their native music in EMI Records.


With only their capital remaining, all troops are rushed there to a vulgar display of power.


Finally our technicians have developed the gas cookers everybody`s been eagerly waiting for. No more cooking on campfire for our tiny-but-growing nation. The estonian Chef-in-command has a big smile on his face . This event has even eclipsed the end of Konungariket Sverige. And now for the fun of it.

SURSTRÖMMING - a putrid fish dish

History: To be absolutely blunt the swedish catch a bunch of herring, take no means of preserving it, let it ferment for a year or so and then eat it.
What does it consist of: Obviously herring... and some nasty smelling gases - pungent (propionic acid), rotten-egg (hydrogen sulfide), rancid-butter (butyric acid), and vinegary (acetic acid). Some eye candy ...

Do not try this unless you`re not able to smell: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Surstr%C3%B6mming after considering all this - Bon Appetit.

[loki100]

Given what the Icelanders do to shark are you up for including them in your ever growing culinery union?

... don't forget the possibility of incorporating the puffin eaters of St Kilda (ok that does mean taking on the British empire but ... )

[Supervixens]

Given what the Icelanders do to shark are you up for including them in your ever growing culinery union?

... don't forget the possibility of incorporating the puffin eaters of St Kilda (ok that does mean taking on the British empire but ... )

Well, in the current game I`ve done away with Denmark and can release Iceland as a puppet, that can be considered as annexing them. I just might write something about them in future updates . As for Britain ... dunno right now. I certainly won´t be joining any alliance (that would mean inevitable war with superpowers). Better go for a wait-and-see tactic and building up forces against SU. Right now I`m only able to take on unaligned nations, so maybe we`ll have some Latin-American dishes in the next posts . Si, si, tacos y burritos y nachos ...

[Legolas]

Ah, food... Lovely thing. And Christmas food is even better

For Christmas, we usually eat roast duck (goose is more traditional, but in our family, it would take us a week to go through the whole of it). For Christmas Eve, we follow the Catholic tradition of having 12 vegetarian dishes. Small pies with forest mushrooms or cabbage filling, poppy milk (nothing illegal, mind you It's just poppy seeds minced several times and dissolved in warm water - the whole thing tastes sweet and looks milky) with boiled wheat grains and "kūčiukai" - the most important speciality, which I would put up for a poll.

Kūčiukai are small hard cookies, sometimes made of sweet dough, sometimes not. The tradition of eating them apparently comes from pre-Christian times, when people used to make offerings of bread to the gods. Later they decided they can eat the bread instead and changed the bread to something more especial. The kūčiukai you can buy in stores around Christmas are little more than bagels cut into small bits and overdone very slightly to be harder than usual, but the home-made ones are awesome.

[peterhoi3]

Those recipes look fantastic! and the AAR is very interesting. Let´s see if you can contrl the whole Scandinavia. What else do you plan to invade?

[beldaron]

WOW what an...... unique insight into baltic food thanks. o and well done in unifying the baltic states and all, i'll definately keep an eye on this AAR

[ColonelIronboot]

I've cooked Zeppelins at home once! For the name.


Amazing AAR. *writes down the recipes*