It May, 1941. Argentina is being invaded by a gigantic American Army. Defeat is looming and so, our Hero has decided to get some outside assistance.
The Place: Antofagasta, on the Chilean side of the border.
The Man: President Roberto María Ortiz, known to the people of Argentina as “El Caudillo,” or “El Presidente.”
We join El Presidente at a clandestine meeting..
A meeting called because of certain defeatist elements in the General Headquarters who think they lack the resources to win the Great Patriotic War.
As the German Colonel departs in his Heinkel, the Field Marshal and Felipe approach our Hero.
“Sir, with all due respect, while you are holed up here talking to Nazis and wasting the Armoured Corps on the silly defense of Poop Mountain, the Western Allies have made some disheartening gains.”
“Silly? My God man, the Allies invaded us just to get their hands on the Nitrate Fields! How can you say they aren’t valuable now!”
“Actually, sir, the allies invaded us because we launched a conquest of our peaceful neighbor Chile. And, for the record, I don’t think this plan to sign an alliance with a bunch of Euro-Thugs is going to change that.”
“Oh, and while we’re on the subject, sir, the invasion…”
“has been gathering steam. In fact. I don’t think we can win this.”
“I’ve been in touch with Prime Minister Churchill and he says as long as we don’t join the Axis and we agree to pay reparations to Chile and Paraguay, they’ll accept a negotiated peace.”
Ortiz looked mildly chagrined. “Oh yeah. The Axis. Yeah, guys, about that…”
Felipe hurled his briefcase to the ground in disgust. “Damnit Ortiz! You’ve doomed us all! You complete dunderhead!
“I told you Felipe! I told he’d already done it!”
Ortiz flourished the contract. “Be cool guys! They’re going to send us support…troops and stuff. I’m sure of it!”
Felipe regarded him with disgust. “Oh really? Where does it say that. Show me the page.”
“Oh…I’m not sure of the exact page…I’m sure its here somewhere though.” Ortiz flipped absently through the 815 page document.
“You didn’t even read it! You son-of-a-bitch! I’ll kill you!”
The Field Marshal had some difficulty restraining Felipe.
Ortiz was nervous. “Hand to God Felipe, the Axis won’t let us down. If Argentina falls to the Allies, you can have my head. I promise.”
Meanwhile, Breaking News on “Radio Enslaved America,” the popular Axis propaganda station.
“Now zat Argentina’s Legions haff joined zee Axis, vee can turn our fullest attention to Crushing the Bolsheviks. Today, this very moment, all Axis Forces are launching a mighty attack on zat Fortress uff Evil known as der Soviet Union. Vee vill have nothing to spare outside of Europe. Not even a single Brigade.”
Six Months Later, in a prison yard outside of Autofagusta..