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Thread: All Your Bird Poop AARe Belong To Us

  1. #21
    Field Marshal Stuyvesant's Avatar
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    <Stuy sees picture of GIs disembarking. Stuy imitates a trumpet. Poorly>

    "Wah-wah-wah-waaaaaahhh..."

    Looks like we've already passed the high water mark of Argentine imperialism... This might turn out to be an even mini-er AAR than you had originally planned for!

    Methinks it's time for Roberto to stuff a few suitcases with guano (for the road) and hit the ratlines for Nazi Germany.

    Let's see how long it takes El Presidente to drag his country into the abyss...

  2. #22
    the Unready noobermenschen's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stuyvesant View Post
    Let's see how long it takes El Presidente to drag his country into the abyss...
    You have to admit it was his goal to get Argentina into deep.... you know.

    El Presidente has simply succeeded on more levels than anticipated.

    Yeah, that's it.
    never surprise the baboons...

  3. #23
    Human Enewald's Avatar
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    The yanks shall be pushed back to sea. They can't stand the poop.

  4. #24
    Lt. General Mico94's Avatar
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    oh crap!
    .
    .
    .
    ... again
    "When in doubt, C4!" - Jamie Hyneman
    "Life is a worthless game, but the graphics are awesome."

    My AARs are stored in My Inkwell

  5. #25
    Second Lieutenant itsdodge's Avatar
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    The excreta has finally hit the propellers!

    Merde! Great story!

  6. #26
    Off Again Alfred Packer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Stuyvesant View Post
    <Stuy sees picture of GIs disembarking. Stuy imitates a trumpet. Poorly>

    "Wah-wah-wah-waaaaaahhh..."

    Looks like we've already passed the high water mark of Argentine imperialism... This might turn out to be an even mini-er AAR than you had originally planned for!

    Methinks it's time for Roberto to stuff a few suitcases with guano (for the road) and hit the ratlines for Nazi Germany.

    Let's see how long it takes El Presidente to drag his country into the abyss...
    Yeah...all that stuff you hear about US AI never leaving home...dirty lies!

    Quote Originally Posted by noobermenschen View Post
    You have to admit it was his goal to get Argentina into deep.... you know.

    El Presidente has simply succeeded on more levels than anticipated.

    Yeah, that's it.
    The Revisionist Historians will look to you for inspiration!

    Quote Originally Posted by Enewald View Post
    The yanks shall be pushed back to sea. They can't stand the poop.
    This isn't poop...its ARGENT- oh wait...you're right. It is poop.

    Quote Originally Posted by Mico94 View Post
    oh crap!
    .
    .
    .
    ... again
    Hahaha...I like that...again

    Quote Originally Posted by itsdodge View Post
    The excreta has finally hit the propellers!

    Merde! Great story!
    Thanks!

  7. #27
    Off Again Alfred Packer's Avatar
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    27 May 1941 - 17 December 1941

    It May, 1941. Argentina is being invaded by a gigantic American Army. Defeat is looming and so, our Hero has decided to get some outside assistance.

    The Place: Antofagasta, on the Chilean side of the border.

    The Man: President Roberto María Ortiz, known to the people of Argentina as “El Caudillo,” or “El Presidente.”


    We join El Presidente at a clandestine meeting..





    A meeting called because of certain defeatist elements in the General Headquarters who think they lack the resources to win the Great Patriotic War.







    As the German Colonel departs in his Heinkel, the Field Marshal and Felipe approach our Hero.





    “Sir, with all due respect, while you are holed up here talking to Nazis and wasting the Armoured Corps on the silly defense of Poop Mountain, the Western Allies have made some disheartening gains.”







    “Silly? My God man, the Allies invaded us just to get their hands on the Nitrate Fields! How can you say they aren’t valuable now!”







    “Actually, sir, the allies invaded us because we launched a conquest of our peaceful neighbor Chile. And, for the record, I don’t think this plan to sign an alliance with a bunch of Euro-Thugs is going to change that.”







    “Oh, and while we’re on the subject, sir, the invasion…”







    “has been gathering steam. In fact. I don’t think we can win this.”







    “I’ve been in touch with Prime Minister Churchill and he says as long as we don’t join the Axis and we agree to pay reparations to Chile and Paraguay, they’ll accept a negotiated peace.”







    Ortiz looked mildly chagrined. “Oh yeah. The Axis. Yeah, guys, about that…”







    Felipe hurled his briefcase to the ground in disgust. “Damnit Ortiz! You’ve doomed us all! You complete dunderhead!







    “I told you Felipe! I told he’d already done it!”







    Ortiz flourished the contract. “Be cool guys! They’re going to send us support…troops and stuff. I’m sure of it!”







    Felipe regarded him with disgust. “Oh really? Where does it say that. Show me the page.”







    “Oh…I’m not sure of the exact page…I’m sure its here somewhere though.” Ortiz flipped absently through the 815 page document.







    “You didn’t even read it! You son-of-a-bitch! I’ll kill you!”

    The Field Marshal had some difficulty restraining Felipe.







    Ortiz was nervous. “Hand to God Felipe, the Axis won’t let us down. If Argentina falls to the Allies, you can have my head. I promise.”



    Meanwhile, Breaking News on “Radio Enslaved America,” the popular Axis propaganda station.




    “Now zat Argentina’s Legions haff joined zee Axis, vee can turn our fullest attention to Crushing the Bolsheviks. Today, this very moment, all Axis Forces are launching a mighty attack on zat Fortress uff Evil known as der Soviet Union. Vee vill have nothing to spare outside of Europe. Not even a single Brigade.”



    Six Months Later, in a prison yard outside of Autofagusta..








    THE END

  8. #28
    Crusader for Fun and Profit Murmurandus's Avatar
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    Holy Poop, I hadn't notice this piece of crap until it was finished! Good work, here have some paper!
    "May the Earth tremble with Beer... euh, Fear"

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  9. #29
    Human Enewald's Avatar
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    Germany might save you.

  10. #30
    Second Lieutenant itsdodge's Avatar
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    I hope 'el presidente' was able to be buried in the poop he loved so much!

  11. #31
    Field Marshal Stuyvesant's Avatar
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    Nice touch to have Klink covered in bird poop in that last shot, where he's slinking away to join the Crusade against the Bolsheviks...

    Well, that was a spectacular failure. At least you can take solace in Noobermenschen's revisionist history - El Presidente did drag his country into the biggest pile of excrement Argentina has ever witnessed...

    Nice job, senhor Packer.

  12. #32
    Off Again Alfred Packer's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Murmurandus View Post
    Holy Poop, I hadn't notice this piece of crap until it was finished! Good work, here have some paper!
    Haha...thanks! Better late than never!

    Quote Originally Posted by Enewald View Post
    Germany might save you.
    Yeah, not so much...

    Quote Originally Posted by itsdodge View Post
    I hope 'el presidente' was able to be buried in the poop he loved so much!
    His body borne to Valhalla bound to 30,000 seagulls

    Quote Originally Posted by Stuyvesant View Post
    Nice touch to have Klink covered in bird poop in that last shot, where he's slinking away to join the Crusade against the Bolsheviks...

    Well, that was a spectacular failure. At least you can take solace in Noobermenschen's revisionist history - El Presidente did drag his country into the biggest pile of excrement Argentina has ever witnessed...

    Nice job, senhor Packer.
    Thanks! I'm glad you enjoyed the touches on the Klink bit.



    ===

    And everyone, thanks for reading. This was fun...sometimes I forget how much fun a quick AAR can be to write - since everything stays so fresh...well...you know, excepting the mountain of poop and all...but anyway, thanks for coming along for the ride and thanks for the comments!

  13. #33
    the Unready noobermenschen's Avatar
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    An excellent AAR --very entertaining!

    VIVA EL GUANO MAXIMO!!
    never surprise the baboons...

  14. #34
    BLACK I.C.E panzeroo's Avatar
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    mkes me feel like invading new zealand (again)
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  15. #35
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  16. #36
    With Klink in South America, I wonder who's in charge of stalag 13.

  17. #37
    Second Lieutenant The_Frozen_1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Patrician84 View Post
    With Klink in South America, I wonder who's in charge of stalag 13.
    Schultz of course!
    I can't Believe that I didn't discover this until five minutes ago.
    Crap
    Oh Well, It Was A Good Read
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  18. #38
    BLACK I.C.E panzeroo's Avatar
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    hogan was always in charge of stalag 13
    schultz was
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