Speak Lithuanian or Die! - A Kaiserreich AAR

[Karaiskandar]

Yeah exactly, you need more troops, and air support...

[Viden]

Suscribed!

[ColonelIronboot]

Thank you.

As usual, any extra requests on what you would like to see in the AAR?

[KaiserMuffin]

More Romanians!

[Karaiskandar]

More Romanians!

And the second Weltkrieg!

[Mico94]

Lithuania conquering the world!

great AAR, subscribed

[theoracle]

This superrrrrrrrrrrrrrb AARRRRRRRRR is making me currrrrrious of the futurrrrrrrrre of Lithuania. Subscrrrrrrribed.
I really like the characterisation you're giving all your leaders

[Stormbringer]

Hm... do you think you'll be able to break through the defenses? I've always had trouble with Romania in Kaiserreich even when playing Russia.

[ColonelIronboot]

To KaiserMuffin:
Uh....oookay...I'll see what I can do about that
To Karaiskandar:
I promise! But in due time, which means, in but a few updates.
To theoracle:
Thanks a lot. I'd like to write a serious book one day and every AAR page is a little practice.

[ColonelIronboot]

Vilnius, Lithuanian Commonwealth
July 19, 1941



Minister Smetona overseeing the march of a new Lithuanian infantry division.


- Honestly, Friedrich, this is none of Germany's business.
- Friedrich?!
- Well, if you refuse to call me King Mindaugas, I shall return the honour of calling you like your Mutti did!
- Jesus, Karl...
- What? You call me, a sovereign monarch of a sovereign nation, and tell me that I have to stop the offensive in Romania. You stomped a sovereign nation yourself just LAST WEEK! Where the hell is United Baltic Dutchy, Friedrich?! - roared King Mindaugas.
- United Baltic Dutchy had it on a nationwide poll to join the Reich! And 54% voted FOR!


- Damn, of course 54% voted for, there are 54% Germans in Baltic now! This is wild, unbridled racism!
- No, Karl, it isn't. They've moved there on legal terms, they became citizens on legal terms, they voted. I waited till the ink on the final decision was dry and signed it. Now this mayhem in Romania is incomparable with the Baltic question...
- They started first!
- So? Our position was to let Romanians have Odessa, Karl, and I've told the Generalstab to send advisers and make sure we don't cause yet-another-goddamn-war!
- We've caused it already, and your advisers never arrived.
- We'll look into that matter with advisers missing later on! Pull out, Karl! - said Wilhelm the Third.


Kaiser Wilhelm III of Germany

- Why do you care about some small silly Natpop nation? They don't even have allies!
- No, they don't. However, they sell their oil to Austria and Ottomans, and both the Empires rely on that oil, and sending your maniac Popeliucka into Ploesti oil wells will cause so much destruction it'll take a year to bring it back to normal, and you'll start whining you need the oil for yourselves.
- Yes, I guess we will...
- And Karl, are you going to have those elections or not? You're a Consitutional monarchy, having a little war with Romanians doesn't count as a reason to lay it off!
- Allright, allright, an election, sure.
- King Mindaugas The Third, what the hell do you need from this world? Technology? We're assisting as much as we can. Resources? You're getting discount metal and free Indian rubber. Pull your forces the hell out, let's not make it any more complicated than it already is. - said Wilhelm.
- Can we at least keep Moldova?- asked Mindaugas.

Wilhelm III kept a minute's silence.
- Yes, I think that's fine with us. A little addition to Mitteleuropa, and a buffer state...allright, let it be a payment for your loyalty to Germany.

Mindaugas sighed.
- Friedrich, I am German. How can I be disloyal to Germany?
- How can you be so disloyal to Germany, indeed? - said Wilhelm and laid the receiver.

[Enewald]

Für Kaiser, Gott und das ewige Vaterland!

[KaiserMuffin]

Eins Für Kaiser!
Zwei Für Reich!

Sterben Für Die Vaterland!

[ColonelIronboot]

Eins Für Kaiser!
Zwei Für Reich!

Sterben Für Die Vaterland!

"Stirb für das Vaterland!" or simply "Stirb für Vaterland" is a correct version, in my humble.

[Stormbringer]

Don't know what you guys are talking about but I thought the update was funny and clever. Good job.

[Legolas]

I liked the update, but shouldn't it be King Mindaugas III? According to the Kaiserreich canon, King Mindaugas II died in 1933 or so, didn't he?

[ColonelIronboot]

To Legolas:
Woops, got carried away there. Corrected, thanks for having found the mistake.

[Karaiskandar]

Nice update.
It seems that Călinescu will have his little statelet.

[KaiserMuffin]

"Stirb für das Vaterland!" or simply "Stirb für Vaterland" is a correct version, in my humble.

DAMN Googul. Thats twice now!

[ColonelIronboot]

Chisinev, Republic of Moldova
July 23, 1941


Călinescu raised his glass.
- And, ahah... attention! The Prrresident wants to say a toast. Today, my frrriends, I have the honour of being chosen as the first Prrrresident of Moldova! This is a key moment in the historrrry of the rregion, and Rrromania, and I am obliged to thank our frrrriends frrrrom the Lithuanian Commonwealth!



Lithuanian officers roared happily, clinging their glasses.
- Waaait! We're forrrgetting that if not one special perrrson here, we would never be celebrrrating such an occasion. This man has helped forge a new countrrry among the chaos and disorrrder of the XX century, and his name is Generrral Klemensas Popeliucka. Bottoms up forrr the Lithuanian genius!
- Bottoms up! - echoed the officers. General Popeliucka felt embarassed and left the orgy as quickly as his polite upbringing allowed him to.

He went out on the balcony and lit his pipe. The night was still, and smoke was going right up from this Romanian souvenir the General so comically obtained. The only good impression made by this Godforsaken country.
The party thrown by Călinescu was quite good, soldiers and officers needed their time to relax. It seemed as if they took Minsk a week or two ago. Time's getting quicker with every year, thought Popeliucka.

Behind him, the door opened, letting loud party sounds and Sikorski in. Sikorski, now the sole Marshal of Lithuania, arrived in the infant country to make sure everything went smooth.

- You really shouldn't be making such a face right now, General - said Sikorski, emptying his glass and placing it carefully on the floor.
- Do you expect me to feast and be merry over the fact that we were pulled out on German request? - retorted Popeliucka.
- It had to be done. Mitteleuropa isn't an instrument of German hegemony anymore, but we still have to keep to the limits.
- I know, sir, and I know my orders, but you cannot order me to be overjoyed by what took place in Romania. This all is a farce, and Călinescu is a buffoon.
- He's our buffoon, and that matters, General.
- Yes he is! - agreed Popeliucka. - But will the local people think the same? Will they wake up in the morning and think, "What has our Prrrresident Călinescu done about the country today?". Or will they settle with "This loudmouthed puppet Lithuanians put on our shoulders instead of the Blackshirts?


Annoyed General Popeliucka, surrounded by Commonwealth soldiers and officers.

Sikorski stayed silent.

- You know, sir - continiued Popeliucka - I've read a poem by that poet you told me about when we last met. He had one nice line there, acurately describing the circumstances we are in...

I have seen the moment of my greatness flicker,
And I have seen the eternal Footman hold my coat, and snicker,
And in short, I was afraid.

- I am afraid, sir. This isn't Lithuanian glorious future, this is the same dirty German Realpolitik.
- And it will have to stay so until something extraordinary happens, General! - said Sikorski. And you cannot do anything about it, so start getting used to the way things are. Germans have over a hundred divisions on this continent, they can steamroll us in a month! All your heroism and all your glory, General, won't halt them, even combined with your four Panzer divisions and whatever else we manage to throw at the Krauts. They're here to stay, Klemensas.
- I'll tell you the same I said to one comrade of mine, Marshal - then what are we fighting for? Who did we fight for here? His German Majesty? His Lithuanian Majesty, who, for a reason I, as a Lithuanian, find hard to accept, is also German? To hell with it, Sikorski, tell me what I and this drunkard Skucas, and all my lads are fighting for, and we'll fight for it with the same enthusiasm as we used to.
- Think of this campaign in Osteuropa as a chess party, General. Romania was a gambit - we had to sacrifice our success there in order to win in the long term. In the battle for a better future, Klemensas. For a better future, which you have already made inevitable. Don't loose the grip, General, and in due time, you'll see the change you've brought with your own eyes. - said Sikorski.
- Will I live to that better future, I wonder?
- Now this is not for me to decide, neither for His Majesty. You're exhausted, you should go back home and see your family.
- I damn well should. - nodded General Popeliucka.

The night was warm. A mosquito flew too close to the General's pipe, attracted by the light. It landed on the burning coals and immediately caught fire. The mosquito panicked and attempted to fly away. A second later, its wings started burning and the creature gave up, dying in the tobacco smoke.

[ColonelIronboot]

And this 200th (already?) post concludes Chapter 3 of the "Speak Lithuanian or Die!" AAR.

My great thanks to everyone who keeps track of this AAR and especially to those commenting and criticising.

Next:
Lithuanian Elections!