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ah well, all it'll take is a couple of numpties in close succession and that little lot could easily collapse, esp if the mongols persist in costing you oodles of cash to squash them on a regular basis ... gotta have something to look forward to :)

but otherwise, that is one awesome empire
 
Holy shitcakes!
 
Hi guys,

Thank you very much to all of you that voted for Suenik in this quarter's ACAs! It means an awful lot to me to see so many of you taking the time to nominate it!

Thanks again!

Iain
 
Right, an Empire of that size can not but explode... :nods:
 
Just caught up. Interesting game you've got going here. Never played CK though, but it's starting to get rather tempting ;-)
 
As if the ai achieved what I could not in my very brief and nearly prematurely aborted CK campaign...


Yeah - what happened to that? Oh, and don't beat yourself up too much - he's still only king of one province!

Hail Suenik!
Please paint the Middle-East blue. :rolleyes:

I was considering that but, as you all know, Krikor II is not one for starting wars...

Which is what makes writing this fun. I *could* easily crush Egypt and her friends, but I always set myself the rule that I will dance to the whim of my current ruler's personality.

Suenik fhtagn!
Holy shitcakes!
Fnord Suenik Fnord.

Yes - it's quite large ;)

ah well, all it'll take is a couple of numpties in close succession and that little lot could easily collapse, esp if the mongols persist in costing you oodles of cash to squash them on a regular basis ... gotta have something to look forward to :)

but otherwise, that is one awesome empire

I know exactly what you mean. Krikor is in the lucky position that he's been ruler for a while so everyone is quite happily loyal to him. As soon as he karks it I know that that little stabby knife icon is going to appear in the top right of the screen, and when I hover my mouse over it I know that the screen is going to disappear beneath the swathe of people who suddenly have a loyalty beneath 50%!

Right, an Empire of that size can not but explode... :nods:

Stay tuned!

Just caught up. Interesting game you've got going here. Never played CK though, but it's starting to get rather tempting ;-)

CK is a WONDERFUL game. I try to get it across in my writing, but each ruler does have a completely different personality and this makes it, in my humble opinion, the most fun Paradox game out there. And thanks for taking the time to catch up - it's great having a new reader!

To all:
Time permitting we should have another update up tonight!
 
Just caught up. Love the current king.

I'm curious how the Empire will fair affte the Roman territories are added to it.
 
Holy shitcakes!

You just know that at least one member of the Gardman-Aghbania Dynasty will be excommunicated after happily screaming out the above when receiving communion before this AAR is over.
 
w00t! Caught up and all I can say is wowzer. I wish I could play CK as well. Finally the HRE actually is an empire! I guess Kirkor II really does rule with an enourmous schwanzstucker! :eek: :p
 
SUENIK THE BELEAGUERED
CHAPTER 78 - HOLY ROMAN EMPIRE GARDMAN (AGHBANIA)!
(1182-1184)

My name's Krikor - Emperor of Greater Suenik and the Holy Roman Empire.

Yes - I still find it hard to believe.

I've got so much to contend with. Dukes that don't speak my language, wars with nations I've never heard of it, political power plays by people who don't have names that look anywhere nearly Armenian enough for my liking, and, most confusingly of all, lots of Catholics.

However, some things stay constant.

Like my wife, for example. Once again she proves that there's nothing more likely to get women turned on than crowns, gold, sceptres, swords and all that other pomp and circumstance I now have in bucket loads.

3132.jpg


Many things are often cited as aphrodisiacs - power being one of them. If this is the case I'm packing the equivalent of three tons of oysters, fried in asparagus sauce, drenched in champagne and topped off with a healthy dose of powdered rhino horn.

Not that any other woman has a chance - I'm a one woman man. As the most prominent figure in Christian society it wouldn't be fitting for me to behave in any other way.

3133.jpg


Phew. I feel so much better. Having the love of a good woman is incredible. It's almost like a burden has lifted from my shoulders and I can just relax again.

However, as well as lustful women, my new title has sadly attracted to it a smattering of lunatics and fanatics.

3134.jpg


Grigor here charmingly promises me a "harvest" of dead Bogomils (is that even the correct collective noun?)...

3135.jpg


...whilst dear old cousin Toros here has spent every waking moment pouring over maps of the world claiming that soon he will have found a way to sweep away all of the enemies of the god emperor of mankind once and for all. He's even been badgering the royal chef to bake little cakes in my honour that he calls "Emperor Muffins". Apparently my German subjects have a different name for them...

Speaking of these enemies, it seems that the King of Croatia is close to collapse.

3136.jpg


Drogo?!? What sort of name is that? Toros cackles and suggests that he sounds like the sort of man to lose his ring in the cracks of doom.

Whatever that means.

It sounds painful.

I have Toros taken back to his map room.

Probably for the best.

I have my herald advise "Drogo" what he can do with his offer, and a few weeks later receive word that the Croats have somehow landed a force outside the walls of Constantinople.

3137.jpg


I admire Drogo’s audacity.

However, I also happen to like the walls of Constantinople the way they are. To great cheers I assemble my host and ride out to meet my foe.

3138.jpg


Some might suggest that odds of thirty nine to one are unfair (or even cowardly) but I suggest to them that when one rules most the Middle East and Europe one can pretty much bloody dictate the odds as he pleases.

At the same time Mecca falls.

3139.jpg


Toros tries to take the credit (ordering an extra large "Emperor Muffin" to celebrate) but everyone knows that it was I who masterminded it. They know this because I have heralds proclaim it all around the kingdom.

I'm the emperor of everywhere - I can do that you know.

Not everyone appreciates this though. People like the count of Ikonion still think they can take what they want from me.

3140.jpg


Clearly he's never heard the "thirty nine to one" story...

My wife celebrates the fall of the holiest city in Islam by naming our new child after her.

3141.jpg


It's a joyous occasion, but I can't help but feel nervous at the thought of living in a house with two Miras...

More great tidings soon arrive, when the King of Croatia agrees to bugger off and leave me in peace.

3142.jpg


I remind him to leave all of his gold at the door on the way out.

Happy times.

It's almost as if I have been blessed.

I don't want to tempt fate, but in my new position of power it feels as if nothing could possibly go wrong.

3143.jpg


Is this the end? Has Krikor tempted fate? Who is behind the assassins? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Suenik - Land of the Beleaguered!
 
Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Seriously, Krikor is becoming an absolutely wonderful character and it'd be a shame to see him get assassinated or descend into a state of utter cannibalistic insanity.
 
Noooooooooooo!!!!!!!

Seriously, Krikor is becoming an absolutely wonderful character and it'd be a shame to see him get assassinated or descend into a state of utter cannibalistic insanity.

Don't worry, he'll make an excellent ghost :D
 
I vote for the preservation of Krikor, who may well be emperor of more places than he knows ... but needs to hire a new royal statistician who can actually count, not least the current one is underestimating his imperial genius

Some might suggest that odds of thirty nine to one are unfair (or even cowardly)

pah, it was only 29:1, far more impressive
 
No knife can kill the Mighty Emperor! He'll just fall of the stairs!;)
 
You know, when Krikor II first started out, he was, I think, the most hated character I've ever seen in this AAR and now, he's accomplished something that none of his predecessors could ever have done and all without losing his sanity.
Proof that sometimes, the good guys do win.