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One of his friends was killed by a cheese when he was little.

Now, whenever he goes into battle, he has this sickening feeling that amongst the throng of men, there just might be a cheese, lurking, waiting to strike...

So he hesitates. If only for a moment.
 
His pathological fear of cheese somehow makes him a less capable tactician? Really?

You weren't there for the great Trebizond cheese massacre of '42.

*shudders*

Those Seljuk Turks.

Animals.

That thing they did with the camembert...

:eek:

Wow, I missed three updates. Great job all around.

Thank you very much sir. It all goes downhill from here :(

Nubia feels the pain of bribed cartographers as well.

Yeah, the feeling of righteous indignation that you get when you discover that the little county that's been rubbing against your Empire for decades isn't actually yours is enough to send you into spasms of apoplectic rage!

:mad:

...and then you have your wife remind you that "it's just a silly computer game darling" and you climb down off the table and all is calm in the world once more.

Or maybe that's just me...

Isn't it great when powerful vassals come to you? That's one of the greatest feelings in this game.

:D

Man after my own heart!

"Oh. So you're not here to declare war? You're...what? You're here to ask if you can be my bitch? Have you no idea of how much of a screw up I actually am? No? Cool - welcome aboard!"

One of his friends was killed by a cheese when he was little.

Now, whenever he goes into battle, he has this sickening feeling that amongst the throng of men, there just might be a cheese, lurking, waiting to strike...

So he hesitates. If only for a moment.

From now on you will be known as "Kanil - Veteran of the Trebizond cheese massacre of '42". You were there my friend. You felt the fear. You smelt the cheese. And you survived.

Suenik salutes you.

Sooo, his arch enemies are the French?

Thankfully, Krikor II hasn't had any experience of the French. He was only a baby when his father received the dubious honour of being the first Suenikian ruler to have ever met a Frenchman (some rogue crusader who decided to hang around after a crusade failed and set up shop in Armenia). Aboulgharib obviously made a great impression because shortly afterwards the Frenchie tried his luck against Suenik and got mullered for his troubles. He then showed some characteristic French bravery by surrendering to the Egyptians in a later war. I think he must have died or something because Tabriz is now ruled by a nice Armenian!
 
Just finished reading the entire AAR, and all I can say is: you got yourself another reader. :)
 
I know a Kirkor, actually it is not a name so far from you, it is how Armenians chose to pronounce Gregory. So you can shortly call your heir Greg, or more accurately Krik. It actually sounds cute, isn't?
 
How can Kanil be a respected fellow and be on the list at the same time???

Aboulgharib makes no sense at all!!!!
 
Just finished reading the entire AAR, and all I can say is: you got yourself another reader. :)

Welcome aboard then! It's always nice to get a new reader!

I know a Kirkor, actually it is not a name so far from you, it is how Armenians chose to pronounce Gregory. So you can shortly call your heir Greg, or more accurately Krik. It actually sounds cute, isn't?

Ah - that's interesting, because I would have assumed that Grigor would have been the equivalent of Gregory (or Greg). I'm guessing that it's just a slight regional variation? Or are they seperate names?

Warm corpse... mhmhm... :D

If you didn't keep me so amused I'd be worried ;)

How can Kanil be a respected fellow and be on the list at the same time???

Aboulgharib makes no sense at all!!!!

You've noticed that, huh? The reason Kanil can be respected AND on The List is quite simple. Aboulgharib holds a grudge. He can reward you for loyal service, but he's still not going to forgive you for some slight against him unless you really, really, repent.

Also, he's a Gardman-Aghbania which means that, at the core, he's a wee bit mad really...
 
They pronounce k and g in a quite similar manner so they are basically the same name.
 
Cool, quick updates! :D

Seems that you got yourselves some pretty neat vassals :eek: Great!

Really interesting People Watch and maps. The Kingdom of Leon sure seems to be all over the place, and the Scots as well. And a quite fragmented Europe, it could really go any way now.

Nice heir you got there!
 
How can you be a coward when you're not only capable of killing your enemies with a sword (Martial 19), but can also stab them in the back with a knife (Intrigue 13), have enough money to bribe them not to fight you (Stewardship 13) and the ability to convince them that a fight really isn't necessary (Diplomacy 13)?

The combination of high martial stats and cowardice only means that Krikor knows when to attack, stab in the back, bribe or convince, and when not.
 
The combination of high martial stats and cowardice only means that Krikor knows when to attack, stab in the back, bribe or convince, and when not.

And has been established earlier, he runs whenever cheese is involved. Really, the Cheese Massacre of '42 ought to be the starting act of the epic movie based on this AAR.
 
And has been established earlier, he runs whenever cheese is involved. Really, the Cheese Massacre of '42 ought to be the starting act of the epic movie based on this AAR.

I good thought, but I doubt it would get past the censors. It was BAD.

Really bad.

The things that happend.

The cheddar...

Seriously.

It was awful.

Just ask Kanil about what the Turks did to him with Edam...
 
I am a Turk myself and I know what my ancestors did especially with Gouda. Gouda with black pepper and cumin is my favorite.
 
Yeah, the feeling of righteous indignation that you get when you discover that the little county that's been rubbing against your Empire for decades isn't actually yours is enough to send you into spasms of apoplectic rage!

:mad:

...and then you have your wife remind you that "it's just a silly computer game darling" and you climb down off the table and all is calm in the world once more.

Or maybe that's just me...


That's one of the reasons I don't play CK while my wife is around.

The other main reason being to avoid questions like, "You play that game so much, do you love it more than me?" :)
 
I am a Turk myself and I know what my ancestors did especially with Gouda. Gouda with black pepper and cumin is my favorite.

*shudders*

Evil...pure evil...

That's one of the reasons I don't play CK while my wife is around.

The other main reason being to avoid questions like, "You play that game so much, do you love it more than me?" :)

Yeah.

In fairness though, if CK could wash the dishes and perform other er...marital duties it'd be a close run thing, wouldn't it?

*looks around*

Er...if you heard that, darling, it was just a joke, ok?

She can be quite scary when she wants to be my wife, despite being only five foot two...
 
She can be quite scary when she wants to be my wife, despite being only five foot two...

Really? Could you hand me her address, I'd like to send her some cheese for Christmas ;)
Speaking of which, Merry Christmas to all!
 
You weren't there for the great Trebizond cheese massacre of '42.

*shudders*

Those Seljuk Turks.

Animals.

That thing they did with the camembert...

:eek:

Isn't it Cheese Remembrance Day in a few days? :(
 
SUENIK THE BELEAGUERED
CHAPTER 48 - DAWN OF A NEW ERA
(1154)

Before we get down to business I make a point of finding one of those little psychos from the nursery a wife. He's come of age so I think I'd best find him someone who can keep him reigned in.

866.jpg


One of the wedding guests comes to offer his congratulations and then proceeds to beg with me for a place at my court.

867.jpg


All these new vassals have got me thinking. I take a look at my map and note the territory owned by the so-called "Emperor" of Byzantium. How come he gets to call himself an Emperor and I'm just a lowly king? It's about time we had some changes around here...

The first thing I do is commision a new flag. A new regime needs new symbolism. Some of the entries leave a lot to be desired.

868.jpg


This little beauty apparently represents my new found piety and me slowly ascending towards Heaven. A nice concept but fairly dull.

Next we have...

869.jpg


Well... It's busy, I'll give it that. Apparently it shows the mighty Suenkian empire stretching from dawn till dusk, and the little castles represent the seven royal provinces.

Close, but no cigar.

There were many other entries, but only one managed to get its painter jailed.

870.jpg


I mean...seriously...what the hell is going on here????

However, I finally chose a winner and at my coronation as Emperor of Greater Suenik I have it unveiled.

871.jpg


Apparently, it represents me as Saint George (the patron saint of what was Georgia and is now the Empire of Greater Suenik) smiting the infidel.

My dad would have LOVED this...

To celebrate I cast my eye around for random territories to add to the Empire and I find this...

873.jpg


Two little heathen provinces, each with no friends and each at war with the other.

That, my friends, is what we in the imperialist expansion business call "an oppertunity". I therefore raise an army and head north.

874.jpg


It's fortunate that I never get round to declaring war because no sooner have I left the capital than I get the following news...

875.jpg


So the heir of Doukas fancies his chances does he?

Right - time to see who's made of proper Emperor material...

Does the Byzantine Empire have it coming to it? Will Suenik prevail? Has Aboulgharib's hubris got the better of him? Stay tuned for the next exciting episode of Suenik - Land of the Beleaguered!
 
Speaking of which, Merry Christmas to all!

Yeah, I'll echo this - Merry Christmas to you all too - I hope you all have a great time!

Updates might be somewhat slow in forthcoming over the festive period as I'm travelling back to Scotland to spend Christmas and New Year with my family so I doubt I'll have any time for Suenikian antics until after New Year.

We Scots take New Year seriously - someone once said "In Scotland, New Year's is called Hogmanay. And it is a time when people who can inspire awe in the Irish for the amount of alcohol that they drink decide to ramp it up a notch."

However, don't let this make you all think that I've forgotten you! Suenik will be back in the New Year (after my hangover has cleared)!