SUENIK THE BELEAGUERED
CHAPTER 35 - NUMBER OF THE BEAST
(1138-1140)
So, the fighting, the killing and the spilling of blood has ceased, the wounded have been bandaged, the flames have been doused and I've had a hot bath.
Suitably refreshed I spread a large map of the Empire out on my table and plan the resumption of the Time of Peace (TM). It's going to be good. I can already see my people hard at work, raising the buildings that will bring wealth and prosperity to my kingdom...
Now...
How are the ol' coffers looking?
Oh.
I guess the Time of Peace (TM) is going to have to wait until the Time of Sitting Around Waiting For Funds to Replenish (patent pending) has come to pass.
In the meantime I decide that I'm fed up with the ungrateful pagan peasantry in the north of the Empire continually revolting, so I decide to encourage my well-meaning and loving clergy to roam the countryside spreading the love of Christ (expressed via the medium of torture and immolation).
Hopefully, after the flames on the first few burning pyres have died down, and the smell of barbecuing heretic has started wafting gently on the breeze the pagan population of Alania will take the hint, put away the robes and the over the top rituals and embrace Orthodox Christianity (with its robes and er...over the top rituals...).
With the coffers busy filling with gold and the priesthood busy cremating pagans, what are my peasants getting up to? Well, coincidentally this is the 666th picture in our tale...
666.
The number of the beast.
Sounds pretty serious.
What could this mean for Suenik? What will it show? Dire prophecies of times to come? A long look into the abyss? Satan's own visage? Fire and brimstone?
No - just the usual hodge-potch of Suenikian agricultural mayhem. On one hand the peasants in the capital show their displeasure at my "Burn a Heathen For God" initiative and manage to turn the jewel in the crown of the Empire into even more of a hole than a dysantry-ravaged, war-torn pile of rubble can be; while on the other the good people of Suenik and Kurdistan make a valient effort to improve their lot in life. Well done them (and boo sucks to the ungrateful devil-worshipping ingrates in the north)!
Still, I'm somewhat disappointed at the content of the 666th picture. I was expecting a dire portent or omen.
Ho hum.
To pass the time I decide to assert my moral superiority and follow the advice of a friend and faithful reader (you know who you are!) and relinquish some of my claims.
I don't think my rival's
unduely patronised...
As I'm waiting for my loyal subjects to turn Suenik into a blazing economic powerhouse I decide to pay a visit to my couriters and see how they're getting on. Everyone is doing well and enjoying the break from insurrection and rebellion that the Time of Sitting Around Waiting For Funds to Replinsh (patent pending) brings. However, all is not well at my marshall's castle.
I TOLD him he could lose the dress and go back to wearing normal clothes, but would he listen to me? Oh no - he would rather go prancing around in the middle of winter wearing a little chiffon number. Dear oh dear. I pat him on the back, smile and assure him that everything will be ok. How worse can it get?
Somehow the big blouse doesn't seem reassured. I need to get myself a new marshall.
Months pass and everything begins to look rosier. I settle back with a glass of wine (NOT the stuff they produce in Amida - it's probably fermented with adder venom or something!) and flick through the plan I've written for rebuilding during the Time of Peace. As long as there are no more upsets I can see a glorious, golden future for the Empire.
Oh.
Clearly my priests are doing a completely crap job if I'm still being troubled with this superstitious nonsense. I sit down and pen a missive to them instituting performance-related pay. Their Key Performance Indicators? Pagans converted or pagans burned!
Hopefully that will put an end to me being bothered with guff like this! I mean, who believes in this sort of rubbish anyway?
Hang on - what's that noise? It sounds like a commotion. I take a peek outside of my throne room door.
Oh no...
Not again...
Why exactly is my one and only daughter running around screaming "THE STARS ARE RIGHT???"
I've got a bad feeling about this...
Will Bagrat ever get his Time of Peace? Is Yeva lost to the Dark Side? Will anyone ever get agriculture right in Suenik? Find out in the next exciting episode of Suenik - Land of the Beleaguered!