We Three Kings - an MP AAR

Murmurandus said:

All hail the Dancing God-Emperor!

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i imagined him there shouting "hammer time!"








btw, whats with the picts? who rules there? plus what tribe settled in "lombardy" before rome "fell"?

jorian said:

btw, whats with the picts? who rules there? plus what tribe settled in "lombardy" before rome "fell"?

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Hmmm... Right. *This* thread. I think I may find my muse during the weekend, and be able to tell the truth, and nothing but the truth, of how Egypt won. I might even be able to answer jorian's question.

Could it be true? Might the Masterclass of 'Creative' Historywriting be back in session? That would be a nice surprise.

Okay, Jarkko, you seem to have a lock on the first update, let's see if you can write something brazen enough to lure Peter and Wyvern in for a response.

Psammuthes became the pharaoh at the age of 25, after his father had ascended to the heavens. Also Psammuthes was a divine being, but while he was rather arrogant at times, he was also very humble in his ways. Thus, despite the priests of Egypt pleading, Psammuthes did not allow him to be ascended to godhood initially. In his humble ways, and perhaps also showing his cautios thinking, he declared a 10 year ascension period, during which time only Naravas would be recognised as the pharaoh-god.


The rule of Psammuthes was an even greater time than what his fathers rule had been. Psammuthes was very efficiently improving all aspects of the Egyptian way of life. The Egyptian culture and religion spread at unforseen speed, especially in Greece and Asia Minor. If it hadn't been for the cruel and narrowminded authorities of Pontus (who mercilessly slaughtered all who they suspected to follow the one true god, Psammuthes), there is no doubt the Egyptian way of life would have been accepted around the world much sooner than what it eventually was. Rather than wanting to see his followers terrorised outside the borders of Egypt, Psammuthes urged his priests to not spread the true word outside Egypt for the time being.

Due to the superior way of life in Egypt, the military and navies bristled with modern weapons, and the tactics and strategies were innovative. So great was the fear of Egyptian military, that no wars had to be waged. Just a word from god-pharaoh saw barbarians put down their weapons, and the two large neighbors, Pontus and Numidia, were at all times careful not to wake the wrath of Egypt.

In short, Egypt was already then the paradise on earth.

Egypt wasn't however able to stop Pontus and Numidia from gobbling up their barbarian neighbours. Perhaps it was the cautios nature of Psammuthes, perhaps it was his divine wisdom, but Egypt during the first two decades of the rule of Psammuthes focused on the welfare of its citizens, rather than waging pointless wars in faraway lands.

In 685 began the divine rule of Egypt over the world. That will be discussed more thoroughly in the next volume of Eternal Egypt.


The world in 684, right before the Egyptian world conquest began



Some cold hard facts from 684 showing how Egypt was the leading nation already before Egypt began the world conquest

The purpose of this game was to provide a MP AAR. With the game ending in 684 (due to patch 2.2 coming out at the time, not to mention we three got drifted into playing Dominions 3 MP and WoW (yes, we briefly played WoW again this autumn, this time taking our Horde toons to Northrend) although I think Gary and Peter are still stuck there (but on Alliance side, if I am to guess; those poor souls); I am currently using LOTRO for my MMO shots ), ithe race of who completes their AAR first began.

Thus, with the speed of lightning ( ), this game was won by Egypt!

Enjoy!

It's over?
Without any bloody final showdown?

Enewald said:

It's over?
Without any bloody final showdown?

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Yes

But the happy thing is that Egypt won

That was a tad... err... anti-climatic.

Issac Wolfe said:

That was a tad... err... anti-climatic.

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Yeah, well, it was a bit sad Egypt was such a dominant nation in the end that the other two did not even allied feel strong enought to attempt a sneak attack. Meanwhile I am too nice person to attack nations who have not provoked me. And while I get provoked relatively easily (like somebody not agreeing with me 100% during the first two seconds), the two others did not want to do that either.

Well... Hm... Trying to think of something positive to say...

Well, at least we have some sort of closure.

You make your case nicely. Had I not earlier pledged myself to the Pontan cause, I would offer hearty congratulations. Well done, Egypt does look like a rather nice place to be.

In all seriousness, thanks for finishing this up.

Better later than never...

Now if the others would enlighten us with their point of view...

Bah,
From his screencaps, it looks like Pontus won.

C'mon Peter, show us the truth!
TheExecuter

Peter Ebbesen said:

I don't know... It is an interesting psychological experiment to see just how many of the readers are willing to believe Jarkko's presentation of a game situation when no other presentations are given. I mean, Jarkko is a good man and a fun player, but trusting him to present something with any significant degree of veracity when inventing things out of whole cloth makes a better story and one that supports his point of view? That way lies madness, yet it seems that people, hungering for scraps of information, are willing to delude themselves thus. It is sad, really.

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But Mr. Ebbesen, how could we recognize the truth, or realize the madness, if no further information exists? For us to exercise our critical thought, there must be something, some glimmer of doubt to make us question things...

TheExecuter said:

Bah,
From his screencaps, it looks like Pontus won.

C'mon Peter, show us the truth!
TheExecuter

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A man of ineffable wisdom

“Well class, I know many of you missed the last few lectures due to the snow storm covering us at the moment. I don’t have time to repeat myself in depth but suffice to say that Arganos rescued his son Xenon from the Romans only to have his traitorous Chief Torturer Nicias Theronid lead a rebellion against his rule with the backing of Egyptian gold, or so rumours said. Numidia took the opportunity to ransake Roman and leave Pontus with no gains from that war, but then Arganos had fish closer to home to fry.

“The civil war was put down ruthlessly but the noble king was aged markedly in the doing and at the end his son Xenon took the throne ready to complete the work his father had begun by extending Pontus rule across all the barbarian lands east of the northern tip of Italy.

“Only two blemishes put a stain on Xenon’s rule. The first was Sparta. In the time of his father a division of Seleucid lands had been agreed with Egypt which included a clause that Sparta would be passed to Pontus after 30 years. Egypt reneged on the deal when the time came as well as questioning the agreed border, yet war, however close it appeared refused to erupt. Some say that Xenon traded the disagreement over Sparta for a free hand in subjugating all remaining barbarian kingdoms that Egypt had formerly been protecting, and there could be truth in this.

“The second stain was his dealings with Numidia. Again Pontus and Numidia had agreed a division of the northern wild lands, one that in later years Numidia would choose to re-interpret. Numidia had been closer in relations to Pontus for many centuries yet a distinct cooling off occurring in the later years of Xenon’s rule over these border wranglings, though again open hostilities refused to break out.

“That Xenon chose not to pick a fight with either of his rivals is perhaps understandable. If he invaded one he could be sure the other would invade his unprotected flank. What is more interesting is why when both Numidia and Egypt both had open disagreements with Xenon around the same time they didn't ally and act against him. What would have happened if they had? Would the world be different than it is today? Philosophers have waxed lyrical about this pivotal moment in time yet Pontus stood firm and her neighbours feared to act and so history took the course we now know today.

“The renowned Egyptian historian Suvinus, writing in the last days of an independent Egyptian state tries to paint a picture of Egyptian greatness, and although there are flashes of interest to be noted it isn’t one you should dwell on in final exam. His writings are coloured by emotion and political expedience, and whilst interesting to draw on for their context they cannot be relied upon for an accurate historical perspective.

“Now although this is beyond the remit of this course it's worth mentioning that by 700 AUC Egypt had been overrun and the world was divided between Pontus and Numidia. The greater technological development in the east proved too much for Numidia though and by 1000 AUC the age of Pontus' Hegemony was ushered in, one that enlightens us all to this day.”

“Just a few final thought to leave you with. If you’ve been paying attention you would have noted Pontus’ terrible civic, cultural and technological situation in the early years covered on this course, yet at the end she was developing at a rate unimagined by any of her rivals due in no small part to the radical changes Arganos and his father implemented during their reigns which yanked the nation by the cruff of its neck and totally changed it around from a slave based economy to the capitalistic free born society we see today.

“These changes actually proved very popular with the Greek speaking province that she was able to amalgamate into the Empire, so whilst her neighbours gained territory they won no minds with their conquests whilst Pontus gain both wealth and loyalty from many of her territorial gains, the sum of which ultimately ensured her victory. If Egypt had acted against Pontus in those early days when her technology was so far ahead as to be unimaginable, and Pontus' changes had yet kicked in, then the Pharoeh's may still be ruling today. Now there's a thought to chew on . . .”

Not bad, not bad at all. A bit speculative in the end, but that can be forgiven.

Say, didn't I throw in my lot with Pontus, some ages ago? In that case: great job! All hail the Pontan Hegemony!

Well well... That is certainly some creative writing! Pulling dates from thin air, making claims without any backing. I suppose everybody notices the total and utter lack of providing any statistics or any cold hard facts (like for example screenshots); I suppose it's only the poor suckers who stick to the truth who are willing to provide such data

Anyway Wyvern, excellent creativity at fictional writing! You were always good at writing wild and wacko fantasy stories, and the above text certainly does not lessen that fame!

Mmmm, a somewhat different view... I guess we need an independend judge...

...

Maybe someone from Numidia?

Murmurandus said:

Maybe someone from Numidia?

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Indeed. We demand the truth.