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Thread: New Zealand: Land of the Long Red Cloud

  1. #1
    Lt. General Raaritsgozilla's Avatar
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    New Zealand: Land of the Long Red Cloud

    Well, I'll start by being honest. I've been thinking about writing a book lately, and have often pondered what to write on while living my life. It came to me one night.

    This will be a narrative AAR. I have an average writing style, please forgive me for it. But this will be the story of Jay in a world tipped upside down. I know the start of the story, I know the end, but the bit inbetween will take some thinking.

    I'm kind of doing this for myself, to see if I really have got any talent at all, but any comments and suggestions would be welcome. I havent thought it through all that much, in fact the idea came to me this morning, and here I am writing it up. With that in mind, try not to expect any cool animations, or really any flash chapter names, I'm not sure I have the imagination for it.

    Notes will be included where ever I feel is relevant.
    Enough chit chat, lets move on then!
    "C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre"

    AARS:
    For the fern! Part Deux A New ZealandAAR Newly Updated! 10/5/10
    Land of the Long Red Cloud, A narrative New Zealand AAR Newly Updated 17/9/10
    Rebirth of an empire, A 1936 AAR Great Britain reclaims her spot at the top of the world! (Abandoned)

  2. #2
    Lt. General Raaritsgozilla's Avatar
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    Chapter One


    It was something you never thought would happen to you. When I was older, wiser and more mature, I realised it was a fools game. No winners, only losers, as they say. In the last few years it had been all over the news whenever you turned it on, insidiously creeping its way back into our culture. The thing was, had it ever left?

    It was war, and it was as old as history itself. People say that prostitution is the world’s oldest profession. They are wrong. It is the soldier that has been around for eons. Bloodshed had been carried out by cavemen using flint tied to a stick. Now bloodshed is carried out at supersonic speeds by pieces of metal flying through the air. Yet the object remains the same, to shed your opponents blood.

    Ever since I was a kid, I had looked up into the sky and seen the big metal giants souring through it. It had boggled my mind. Those planes weighed tons, yet they could fly. It didn’t seem fair that me, as a 20 kilo five year old, was earthbound while 20 tonne planes ruled the sky. It was then that I resolved myself to being a pilot. I would command those beasts of the sky one day. Watching Operation Desert Shield at age 5 I told my parents I was going to be a fighter pilot. They patted me on the head and said ‘yes Jay, one day you will be’ then forgot all about it. Reading Biggles books didn't help, nor did learning about the Battle of Britain. I began to wish I had been born 60 years earlier so that I could have flown Spitfires and Hurricanes. I became obessed with the idea of the Kinghs of the Sky.

    Time passed and I looked forward to the day I finished high school and could enrol in the Royal New Zealand Air Force. They only had about 10 fighters, A-4 Skyhawks that were approaching 40 years old, but dammit they were our fighters. Fighters... I took subjects that were too hard to me to comprehend, all with the goal of flying fast movers. Physics, statistics, I even started to train so that I could pass the physical exam first time. My parents realised I was serious, and my 17th birthday present was a year worth of flying lessons at the local airfield.

    In 1999 a new government came to office. At the time New Zealand was looking at buying F-16 Falcons from the United States. I was in heaven thinking about flying one of them. The new government had other ideas. They scrapped the F-16 plan... then proceeded to phase out the A-4s. The RNZAF now had no fighters, and I was left with a crushed dream.

    Because I was no longer able to be a fighter pilot, I gave up the idea of flying altogether. I finally focussed on what I was good at, history, not physics. I was good enough to get a scholarship to Otago University. And so, in January of 2005 I packed up my life in Pukekohe and moved to Dunedin. It was cold, rainy and far away from home, but I managed to do alright at university. I forgot about flying. Life was actually pretty good. All good things must come to an end...

    Last edited by Raaritsgozilla; 05-12-2008 at 03:35.
    "C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre"

    AARS:
    For the fern! Part Deux A New ZealandAAR Newly Updated! 10/5/10
    Land of the Long Red Cloud, A narrative New Zealand AAR Newly Updated 17/9/10
    Rebirth of an empire, A 1936 AAR Great Britain reclaims her spot at the top of the world! (Abandoned)

  3. #3
    Darkest Hour Team & Lead GFX Inner Circle's Avatar
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    I think that he shouldn´t have given up his dream of becoming a Pilot but it´s his choice...

    But I like it!

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  4. #4
    Secret Developer TheConqueror's Avatar
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    I like your style

  5. #5
    You're a great writer. A very nice intro, to what seems to be a great story. Can't wait for more.
    "If we lose our Second Amendment, we lose our rights to bear arms and protect our families. If we're not able to own our own guns, the next thing that will happen is that we'll lose our freedom. We can't allow that to happen in our country." ~ Richard Childress

  6. #6
    Lt. General Raaritsgozilla's Avatar
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    Inner Circle It was a hard choice to make. I based that part on my own personal experience, so yeah, it wasnt fun. I was so excited about those F-16s! Still... you never know what is going to happen later.

    TheConqueror, rocky43
    Thanks! I wasnt sure how it would go.

    I've written another chapter, but I'm not sure if I should do it now, or give more suspense lol
    "C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre"

    AARS:
    For the fern! Part Deux A New ZealandAAR Newly Updated! 10/5/10
    Land of the Long Red Cloud, A narrative New Zealand AAR Newly Updated 17/9/10
    Rebirth of an empire, A 1936 AAR Great Britain reclaims her spot at the top of the world! (Abandoned)

  7. #7
    The intro is impressive, you underrate yourself
    THIS IS A SIG

  8. #8
    A New Zealand AAR, looks interesting!

  9. #9

  10. #10
    Lt. General Raaritsgozilla's Avatar
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    Jalex, Jingles and Fernando Torres Thanks very much, I appreciate it.

    Because I really enjoyed writing the first part, I have gone onto the second chapter. However, as anyone who has read my gameplay NZ AAR can tell you, dont expect updates like this often lol.
    Here goes...
    "C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre"

    AARS:
    For the fern! Part Deux A New ZealandAAR Newly Updated! 10/5/10
    Land of the Long Red Cloud, A narrative New Zealand AAR Newly Updated 17/9/10
    Rebirth of an empire, A 1936 AAR Great Britain reclaims her spot at the top of the world! (Abandoned)

  11. #11
    Lt. General Raaritsgozilla's Avatar
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    Chapter Two

    It was dark. Pitch black. The type of dark where you hold your hand up to your face yet can’t even see it. I couldn’t believe it. It was pitch black in my room. Outside nothing moved, nothing stirred at all. Night had made the city of Dunedin its home. Yet, with all this darkness surrounding me, the cruel shrilling of the alarm in my ear was not-so-nicely telling me that it was 6 am. I turned my face to look at the clock. Surely this was a mistake. It was pitch black for god’s sake! There must have been a power cut in the night, and the clock reset itself. Yeah, that had to be it. A glance at my watch belied this theory. The watch face was laughing at me, informing me via the glow in the dark dots that yes, it was indeed 6 am, and therefore, time to haul my ass out of bed.

    I reached over and switched on the bedside light. Moving my hand outside the comfort of the two duvets, winter sheets and heavy duty blanket was a mistake. As the light bathed my room I could see my breath floating in the air. How was that right? I was tucked up in bed with what felt like a metric tonne of bedding on top, yet my breath still clouded in the air. This stupid fucking city.

    I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised. After all, this was my fourth year in Dunedin. I should really be used to it by now. The summers here were smoking hot, but the winters. Oh the winters... Compared to other parts of the world, I guess the winters were quite mild. But I was from a small town just south of Auckland, and when the southerly whips up the coast on an express train from Antarctica, then you believe your blood is pumping ice. Living in a student flat did not help. This was the coldest flat I had even been in too. Coincidently, it was also Dunedin’s coldest winter in 25 years. Just my luck I guess. I weighed up my options. It was like getting into the water. Do you jump out of bed and get it over with? Or inch your way out, adjusting slowly as you did so?

    I decided to get it over with. Hurling back the covers, I jumped out of bed and landed in the middle of a pile of clothes. At least my feet were warm, but the rest of my body felt like I had just jumped off an iceberg. I felt like Jack at the end of the Titanic. To put it mildly, I was cold. A shower was really the only thing for it. I shivered my way toward the shower, anticipating putting the water to scalding hot and waiting under it until I regained feeling in my extremities. Halfway up the hallway my flatmate Dave’s door creaked open. A girl’s head poked out and looked up and down the hallway. As her head came round to see me I recognised her; she was one of the PhD candidates down at the History department at Uni. She was quite attractive, which made a change from the other girls that had left Dave’s room. As her eyes made contact with me they widened. Her face went a nasty shade of crimson. Her brunette hair was dishevelled, and a line of vivid purple hickeys ran up her neck.
    “Oh, hi, Jay.” She managed to stutter. It all made sense now, it was a Saturday morning. After a night of partying last night Siobhan had chosen Dave to go home with. How interesting.
    “Hey Siobhan, what you doing up so early? Not leaving to avoid the walk of shame are we?” I teased. If possible, her face went a deeper shade of red.
    “Oh... of course not...it’s just... uh... work” She muttered. Work huh? A likely tale. She turned quickly and said something to Dave before pushing past me wearing jeans and a t-shirt. It probably seemed like a good outfit at 10 pm last night when she had her booze coat on, but probably not so much now.
    “Hey, you’ll freeze out there.” I said, following her down the hall. As we went past my room I ducked in quickly. “Here, take my jacket, chuck it back to me on Monday at Uni.” I knew I’d see her then, she was working like a demon on her PhD and I had my dissertation due in a few months.
    “Thanks...” She said, then she slipped out the door. I walked up past Dave’s room and looked in. He was sitting up in bed, arms behind his head, grinning like a Cheshire Cat.
    “Get drunk, get laid!” he said, the grin never leaving his face.
    “You disgust me Daveo” I replied before heading into the shower.

    After a good soak under the water, I felt much more alive. All that stood between me and a similar experience to Dave’s was eight monotonous hours tending to the fruit department at the local supermarket. It wasn’t much, but it gave me enough cash to have fun. I pulled on my uniform. The black vest flattered no-one. With one last longing look at my warm bed, I walked out my door, shutting and locking it. I pulled out my iPod and plugged it into my ears before stepping out the front door into the cold winter morning. And so it began.

    "C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre"

    AARS:
    For the fern! Part Deux A New ZealandAAR Newly Updated! 10/5/10
    Land of the Long Red Cloud, A narrative New Zealand AAR Newly Updated 17/9/10
    Rebirth of an empire, A 1936 AAR Great Britain reclaims her spot at the top of the world! (Abandoned)

  12. #12
    Lt. General Raaritsgozilla's Avatar
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    For those of you unfamiliar with New Zealand I include here a map of my fair country.



    Down the bottom, underneath the words 'South Island' is Dunedin.
    Pukekohe, mentioned in chapter one, is halfway between Auckland and Hamilton in the North Island.
    I'll try and get a map of Dunedin up too. It may prove useful later
    "C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre"

    AARS:
    For the fern! Part Deux A New ZealandAAR Newly Updated! 10/5/10
    Land of the Long Red Cloud, A narrative New Zealand AAR Newly Updated 17/9/10
    Rebirth of an empire, A 1936 AAR Great Britain reclaims her spot at the top of the world! (Abandoned)

  13. #13
    Warden of the Cinque Ports Teep's Avatar
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    Hmmm sounds intriging. I'm subscribed.

  14. #14
    British Unionist trekaddict's Avatar
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    If this is going anywhere near I think this is going count me in. If not, do the same.
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  15. #15
    Lt. General Raaritsgozilla's Avatar
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    Teep: I hope it will be

    Trekaddict: Where do you presume this will be going then??
    "C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre"

    AARS:
    For the fern! Part Deux A New ZealandAAR Newly Updated! 10/5/10
    Land of the Long Red Cloud, A narrative New Zealand AAR Newly Updated 17/9/10
    Rebirth of an empire, A 1936 AAR Great Britain reclaims her spot at the top of the world! (Abandoned)

  16. #16
    British Unionist trekaddict's Avatar
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    Where my own AAR almost went but didn't because I had a good idea for the first chapter. Something to do with time travel perhaps?
    "My country, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right." - Carl Schurz
    Against all Odds: The British Empire in World War Two (ongoing) Last updated 12/16/14 Index - Index 2 - Index 3 - Knowledgebase -
    Inkwell Entry Visit the Dictionary!

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  17. #17
    Lt. General Raaritsgozilla's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by trekaddict View Post
    Where my own AAR almost went but didn't because I had a good idea for the first chapter. Something to do with time travel perhaps?
    No time travel involved in this one my friend. Not that I'm aware of yet anyways
    When is your advatar going to show up? I liked it...
    "C'est magnifique, mais ce n'est pas la guerre"

    AARS:
    For the fern! Part Deux A New ZealandAAR Newly Updated! 10/5/10
    Land of the Long Red Cloud, A narrative New Zealand AAR Newly Updated 17/9/10
    Rebirth of an empire, A 1936 AAR Great Britain reclaims her spot at the top of the world! (Abandoned)

  18. #18
    British Unionist trekaddict's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Raaritsgozilla View Post
    No time travel involved in this one my friend. Not that I'm aware of yet anyways
    When is your advatar going to show up? I liked it...
    On one: too bad, on the second: No idea, I'm kinda waiting for it myself.
    "My country, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right." - Carl Schurz
    Against all Odds: The British Empire in World War Two (ongoing) Last updated 12/16/14 Index - Index 2 - Index 3 - Knowledgebase -
    Inkwell Entry Visit the Dictionary!

    Possibly the world's most British German as awarded by El Pip here.

  19. #19
    As an an Aucklander I have to say I'm amazed at that map. I thought New Zealand stopped once you got south of the City.
    THIS IS A SIG

  20. #20
    British Unionist trekaddict's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jalex View Post
    As an an Aucklander I have to say I'm amazed at that map. I thought New Zealand stopped once you got south of the City.
    Imagine how surprised I was as a non-kiwi! I expected that whole country to consist of 10.000.000.000.000.000 sheep and one pipe-smoking guy!
    "My country, right or wrong; if right, to be kept right; and if wrong, to be set right." - Carl Schurz
    Against all Odds: The British Empire in World War Two (ongoing) Last updated 12/16/14 Index - Index 2 - Index 3 - Knowledgebase -
    Inkwell Entry Visit the Dictionary!

    Possibly the world's most British German as awarded by El Pip here.

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