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Oh, that was good. It didn't bring a smile to my face - it wrenched an idiotic grin on it, which I'm still trying to unwrench into a slightly more professional-looking expression (oh, the perils of reading Crovan materials at work, during lunch break :)). I'd say that you still know how to do the good old 'cartoon thingy'. ;)

There was a lot of pricelessness, but as an example, I'll arbitrarily settle on the inner thoughts of the fourth, silent, member of the Portuguese delegation: "See if they've got room on the mission," mom said. "See the world before you settle down," she said. Oh, and then the bit that I won't reprint. :p
 
I just played the first 'official' year of AOTCC3:RC and whatta blast! Most fun I've ever had playing Vicky2 (and I like Vicky2, though I suck horribly at it, so that is saying something).

It's a quiet day at work today, so I might get away with playing 1837 as well. :ninja:
 
Woohoo for encouraging decreased worker productivity (I didn't work in HR when you were last updating this opus, but I do now, so I tend to be a bit more aware of such issues ;))!

But it's all for the Greater Good, so that's okay. Just depends on how you define the Greater Good, but I'm sure we can come up with something that fits. :)
 
I just played the first 'official' year of AOTCC3:RC and whatta blast! Most fun I've ever had playing Vicky2 (and I like Vicky2, though I suck horribly at it, so that is saying something).

It's a quiet day at work today, so I might get away with playing 1837 as well. :ninja:

I hope you concentrate your cultural research on limericks!
 
I am veeeery glad to see this again!

Very glad to be back doing it!

even by Crovan standards, an Empress with very definite views ... & it is a dead natty hat

It really is a sweet hat.

That movie has both Louis XIII and Buckingham in it and still managed to pretend to be as heterosexual as baseball. I blame the original novels, they started the pernicious trend.

The Diplomatic Corps in Crovania - the only way to get higher rates of attrition is to volunteer for the Guineas as a swamp-water-taster.

It is a dangerous profession...second only to Poets and Emperors for violent ends.

I blame Skofte's Hat for all those Rebelious Rebel Traitors!

Yes...that Skofte...he will bear...'watching.'

Hat looks good to me! A steady supply of hats is absolutely necessary to keep the world economy going. The empress is obviously to blame herself for all the revolts etc. Advising against hats, thus creating a total collapse of the world economy has led people to revolt against her.

What was that Monty Python bit in 'Meaning of Life?' Didn't they decide that the real issue facing the world was 'not enough hats.'

Should I re-read all of the previous updates to get back up to speed, or would that be hazardous to my mental health?

Anyway, glad to see this AAR back!

It is probably not a good idea to re-read them. I did before I started updating again and I spent the weekend locked in the basement cackling maniacally and soiling myself.

Oh, that was good. It didn't bring a smile to my face - it wrenched an idiotic grin on it, which I'm still trying to unwrench into a slightly more professional-looking expression (oh, the perils of reading Crovan materials at work, during lunch break :)). I'd say that you still know how to do the good old 'cartoon thingy'. ;)

There was a lot of pricelessness, but as an example, I'll arbitrarily settle on the inner thoughts of the fourth, silent, member of the Portuguese delegation: "See if they've got room on the mission," mom said. "See the world before you settle down," she said. Oh, and then the bit that I won't reprint. :p

I felt bad for him...he didn't have any lines, but I figured he had to be thinking SOMETHING...and it turned out he was!

Woohoo for encouraging decreased worker productivity (I didn't work in HR when you were last updating this opus, but I do now, so I tend to be a bit more aware of such issues ;))!

But it's all for the Greater Good, so that's okay. Just depends on how you define the Greater Good, but I'm sure we can come up with something that fits. :)

I guess you'd have to be :) I teach highschool history to juvenile offenders in an outdoor therapy program. When they get TOO bad, they have to stay in the woods. Bad for them, lots of quiet time for me :)

I hope you concentrate your cultural research on limericks!

Realism was my first tech research. I think the realism movement should have added a lot more to the Limerick.
 
Episode 106: Bill Volunteers

Empress Caitilin Erlendsdottir Crovan

Govt1706.png



In Which Snidely Gets Three For The Price Of One
(10 September 1706 – 11 March 1708)



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“Well that was all terribly awkward. Thankfully…”



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“Hold up, I feel a Prophecy coming on!”

“In the Year Seventeen Hund-er-ed and Six,
Milanese Crovans will pull dirty tricks.
Then Great Caitilin will be shamed,
And Kolbein’s intuition will be famed.”



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“Wait a minute, you can’t prophecy what already happened! I mean that happened yesterday! Don’t you remember? The Arch-Bishop is still hanging in the courtyard.”



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“Oh. Well, I wrote this last week…I just forgot to share it until right now.”



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“Hold up! So you knew I was about to be shamed? And you said nothing?”



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“Oh, no, like I said. I just forgot.”



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Caitilin’s voice rose. “You FORGOT? Those idiot Milanese Crovans humiliated me and YOU FORGOT?”



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“Your Majesty, I don’t mean to step on anyone’s toes, but could it be that she didn’t forget, but rather than she isn’t a prophet at all? I mean, maybe she just does lucky guesses and pretends she knew stuff. Maybe,” his face brightened, “maybe she’s lying to you!”



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“Wait a minute. But if she is lying to me. Then SHE humiliated me, your intuition just now was vindicated and, let’s face it, those Milanese Crovans are assholes in any case.”



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Mother Shipton’s face brightened. “So I AM a Prophet!”



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“Yes, but not a good one. Snidely, execute her. Oh, and get Kolbein too while you are at it.”



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Snidely draw his dagger. “Hot Damn!”



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Kolbein squealed in terror. “Wait! Why kill us!”




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“Well, Mother Shipton for lying to a Sitting Empress or for being a bad Prophet. Either one is executable. And as for you: proving a Sitting Empress wrong smacks of treason, don’t you think?”



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“No?” Kolbein squeaked as the color drained from his face.




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“Can I be the poem-guy now?”



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“Well. Bill,” Caitilin yelled over the sounds of bloody violence, “I suppose you might be the only one who wants it.”



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“Yay! There once was a man named Enis…”




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Caitilin rubbed her temples. “You know what Snidely, kill Bill too.”






Could this be the fastest ever turn over for Assistant Laureates? That’s two in one update! Who will fill Kolbein’s shoes? Who will be the next Assistant Laureate? Will anything interesting ever happen around here? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan 2: The World Is Way Too Much!
 
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Nothing like getting some new blood into government. After scraping all the old blood off of it, of course.
 

“Well. Bill,” Caitilin yelled over the sounds of bloody violence, “I suppose you might be the only one who wants it.”



Bill.jpg




“Yay! There once was a man named Enis…”




CaitilinErlendsdottir.jpg




Caitilin rubbed her temples. “You know what Snidely, kill Bill too.”​

I love that 'Caitlin yelled over the sound of bloody violence' bit. Oh, and Bill's meteoric rise and fall. Such a shame, his poem started so promising... :)

Oh, and was the Kill Bill reference intentional, or happy coincidence?
 
Glad to see the Empress 'streamlining' the Government. Only good can come from that!
 
Time for some new blood in Her Imperial Majesty's Court! Probably just to get executed when another of them filthy outlandish Crovan lines shame Caitilin again.
 
Time for some new blood in Her Imperial Majesty's Court! Probably just to get executed when another of them filthy outlandish Crovan lines shame Caitilin again.

Well, if you can't violently execute them, what is the point in having courtiers!

It lives! Yay!

Yay!

And is that a better or worse state than you are usually in, just before updating?

'par for the course,' I should say :)

Glad to see the Empress 'streamlining' the Government. Only good can come from that!

She is a budget concious ruler, that is sure...all executions are done the day BEFORE payday!

I love that 'Caitlin yelled over the sound of bloody violence' bit. Oh, and Bill's meteoric rise and fall. Such a shame, his poem started so promising... :)

Oh, and was the Kill Bill reference intentional, or happy coincidence?

Happy coincidence...I realized it right after I wrote it, but I liked it.

Nothing like getting some new blood into government. After scraping all the old blood off of it, of course.

Well, not all of it...you have to remind the new blood the price of uppityness sometimes.

Caitlin is a wee bit unforgiving when crossed ... that will be a hell of a room to clean up by the time Snidely is finished

It really is!
-----------------
Following is an unusual update, but one which will, I hope, prove useful over the next couple of hundred years...
 
Episode 107: The Politics Of Crovania

The following is excerpted from the 1958 Political Science Classic - "The Politics of Empire: The Struggles and Successes of the Crovan Empire"

The Growth of Political Parties from the 18th Century until the Time of Troubles

By the end of the 17th Century, political parties had really begun to gel in Crovania, in part because of the Haraldian Constitution which kept politicians in Parliament from being murdered quite so often and, in part, because the Portuguese Pal-Crovans had made themselves almost universally loathed, even by the rest of the family. While the parties continued to have little impact, the Crovan Monarchs themselves seemed to choose membership at random though they clearly followed the tenants of the Crovania For The Crovans Party, they were preparing for the new era of Imperial relations.

During the Boltian Captivity of 1749-1797 and especially following the Revolution of 1797, things changed dramatically. The Boltian Captivity saw a sitting, elected Parliament advising the Emperor on all things and even choosing lesser ministers themselves. This was also when the Great Compromise established the Viking House and the Common House of Parliament.(1)

Following the Revolution of 1797, the Parliament elected the government in its entirety and controlled the full executive branch. It was, of course, the Vikings First’s Party’s time to shine and they controlled the government until they made the fatal mistake of extending the franchise to the extremely wealthy in 1804.

The Bloated Plutocrat Party won the election of 1805 in alliance with the Crovania for the Crovans Party. With the Glorious Restoration of 1808, the Imperial Family’s alliance with the Bloated Plutocrats became absolute.
Thanks to the right of the ruling party and the Emperor to change electoral districts of the empire at will, the Bloated Plutocrats effortlessly maintained their stranglehold on Crovan elections until the Time of Troubles.

Evidence of this "Gerry Mander-ing,"(2) becomes clear when one considers that, although a "Liberal" Party and inspite of the fact that they often dominated the Viking House as well as the Common House, not a single expansion of the franchise or revision of the political rights occurred during their rule.

The Major Crovan Political Parties

Each entry contains the name of the party, the year it was founded, what they considered themselves to be and what their modern designation would be on a handy chart followed by a description of their tenants. The parties are listed, according to their professed ideology, from farthest Right to farthest Left.



Let’s Be More Oppressive Party (1905)
“Fascist”

MoreOppressive.png

A splinter of the Let’s Not Be So Oppressive Party, the Let’s Be More Oppressive Party felt that government should have a great deal of power over the economy and individual behavior. They frequently doubted whether economic liberty and individual freedom were practical options in today's world. Oppressors, as they called themselves, tended to distrust the free market, support high taxes and centralized planning of the economy, oppose diverse lifestyles, and question the importance of civil liberties. They promoted a powerful military as well.



Crovania For The Crovans Party (1600s)
“Reactionary”

CrovanParty.png

Popular with the Crovan Extended Family and their dozens of fans, CFTCs wanted government to have a great deal of power over the economy and individual behavior. They frequently doubted whether economic liberty and individual freedom were practical options in today's world. CFTCs tended to distrust the free market, supported high taxes and centralized planning of the economy, opposed diverse lifestyles, and questioned the importance of civil liberties. Their primary focus was the aggrandizement of the Crovan Clan. Curiously, they were also massive proponents of a Free Press.



The Viking First Party (1710)
“Conservative”

VikingFirst.png

Viking Firsters preferred a "middle ground" regarding government control of the economy and personal behavior. Depending on the issue, they sometimes favored government intervention and sometimes support individual freedom of choice. Of course, with their advocacy for strict interpretations of citizenship and residency, Viking Firsters tended to support individual freedom of choice when it came to ‘descendants of Vikings’ and adherents to the Church of Olaf and supported more government intervention when it came to “Non-Vikings.” Viking Firsters prided themselves on promoting what they would describe as "practical" solutions to problems.



What Would Olaf Do? Party (1500s)
“Conservative”

Olafism.png

Olafites tended to favor economic freedom, mostly because economics did not interest them, but they frequently supported laws to restrict personal behavior that violated "traditional Olafian values." They opposed the growth of the Audunite Heresy and other Lesser Heresies, while endorsing government action to defend morality and the traditional family structure. Olafites usually supported a strong military, oppose bureaucracy and high taxes, favor a free-market economy, and endorsed strong law enforcement. Their motto was “Do as He said, not as He did.”



The Bloated Plutocrat Party (1720)
“Liberal”

BloatedPlutocrats.png

Bloated Plutocrats, tended to favor economic freedom, but frequently supported laws to restrict personal behavior that violated "traditional values," meaning behavior outside the traditional Olafian or Audunite sects of Christianity. They opposed excessive government control of business, while endorsing government action to defend morality and the traditional family structure. Bloated Plutocrats supported a strong military, opposed bureaucracy and high taxes, favored a free-market economy, and endorsed strong law enforcement.



The Empire Party (1600s)
“Liberal”

EmpireParty.png

Imperialists prefer a "middle ground" regarding government control of the economy and personal behavior. Depending on the issue, they sometimes favor government intervention, as in the economy, and sometimes support individual freedom of choice, such as with religious choice. The Imperialists prided themselves on keeping an open mind, although they favored clear distinctions between the Citizens of Crovania and the Subjects of the Empire.



The Big-Ass Navy Party (1650)
“Liberal”

BigAssNavy.png

Proponents of the Big-Ass Navy Party wanted government to have a great deal of power over the economy and individual behavior. They frequently doubted whether economic liberty and individual freedom were practical options in today's world. BANners tended to distrust the free market, supported high taxes, especially to support a large navy, and centralized planning of the economy. They felt that colonial ports and control of the seas would lead to an organized and powerful economy. They also felt that morally upstanding individuals would make better sailors.



Let’s Not Be So Oppressive Party (1830)
“Liberal”

LessOppression.png

Despite their name, a trick to woo gullible voters, the party tended to be "pro-oppression" in their platform, regarding government control of the economy and personal behavior. Depending on the issue, they favored government intervention in the economy and trade. The Let’s Not Be So Oppressive Party prided themselves on keeping an open mind when it came to religious choice, though they were against extending Citizenship Rights to non-‘Core’ ethnic groups, tended to oppose "political extremes," and emphasized what they describe as "practical" solutions to problems, such as maintaining the largest army in the world to deter would be rebels or aggressors.



Government is Confusing Party (1750)
“Anarcho-Liberal”

GovtIsConfusing.png

Government Is Confusing Party Members (GICs) tended to favor economic freedom, but frequently supported laws to restrict personal behavior that violated "traditional Olafian values." They opposed excessive government control of business, while endorsing government action to defend morality and the traditional family structure. GICs rabidly supported a strong military, opposed bureaucracy and high taxes, favored a free-market economy, and endorsed strong law enforcement. Not vary “Anarchy-ish,” but then, they did find Government very confusing.



The We Are All Crovans Party (1848)
“Socialist”

Socialists.png

The We Are All Crovans Party (WAACs) preferred a "middle ground" regarding government control of the economy and personal behavior. Depending on the issue, they sometimes favored government intervention, such as protectionist trade policies, and sometimes supported individual freedom of choice such as their promotion of a separation between Church and State and individual freedom of religious choice. WAACs tended to pride themselves on keeping an open mind, tended to support a state guided and managed capitalist economy and emphasized what they describe as "practical" solutions to problems.



The Let’s Kill The Rich People! Party (1848)
“Communist”

Communists.png

The Let’s Kill The Rich People Party (Commies) usually embraced freedom of choice in personal matters, but tended to support significant government control of the economy and society. They generally supported a government-funded "safety net" to help the disadvantaged, and advocated strict regulation of business. Commies tended to favor diverse citizenship rights, promoted atheism and the end of state sponsored religions, supported government action to promote equality between classes, and advocated killing their social betters. Interestingly, Commies tended to frown upon a free and unfettered press.


--------------------------------------------------
1 - The Parliament of Crovania during this period is split into two "Houses." The "House of Vikings" numbers 100, with 25 of these being members of the Crovan Family (usually appointed by the Emperor), 25 members chosen from from among the Great Aristocrats, 25 members chosen from among the Great Plutocrats and 25 Poets or other artists (5 each nominated by the Caitilin University of Art and Architecture, the Full-Dan College of Poetic Arts, the Ossor Crovan Theological and Poetic Seminary and, for some obscure reason, the East Fredrickstad Valley Community College). The non-Crovan appointments are all approved by the Emperor. The "House of Commoners" numbers 500 with any filthy urchin off the street eligable. The districts are designed by the ruling party and the districts vary in population from 12 to 8,000,000.

2 - "Gerry Mander-ing" refers to the reshaping of Commoner Districts to suit the ruling party rather than to create real representative districts. Representative Gerry Mander of District #212 (Aleutian Islands, Taiwan and Cape Town) complained too much about the practice. After his time spent on the rack he did not complain as much and neither did anyone else.
 
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Ah how I have missed the Crovans! Great work Mr Packer, and I must echo the sentiment of glee and anticipation for the hilarious political situation that Vicky II promises!
 
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They also felt that morally upstanding individuals would make better sailors.

.....

...ahahahaha. Highlight of the Crovanian political history, without a doubt.
 
So many cool party names despite their political scaling... Hard to choose which to love or hate! Though Big-Ass Navy Party is on top now...