The Adventures of the Crovan Clan 2: The World Is Way Too Much

**Snugglie** · 25-08-2009 02:32

Having a good holiday, are we, Alfred?

**vagueradian** · 27-08-2009 04:08

Well Sir,

I ve read this all the way through laughing and rolling along the way. My biggest disappointment (besides having to wait for more postings) is that I dont know anyone else who owns EU3 in order to share it. Of course I gave the link to a few people anyway. Honestly this is the funniest bit of reading I have done in a long time.

Be well
Vague

**RomanGuy** · 14-10-2009 08:24

Please come back...

**Rich028** · 14-10-2009 20:08

Please, we miss you.

**Alfred Packer** · 27-10-2009 13:40

Okay, folks. It's been a while, I know. Sorry. Real life interfered in a way that killed any sustained free time gaps. I haven't forgotten the Crovan Clan. Dagmar's tale is itching to be finished and I have a gag with St. Olaf's Cross I've been dying to use for more than 6 months now.

I am returning, since things have eased up a bit. I have about 2 hours a week I can devote to this and hope to produce 1-3 updates per week with that time. Ideally, the first one will appear this week (tomorrow or Thursday).

Once again, sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused you all.

**Stuyvesant** · 28-10-2009 04:02

Originally Posted by Alfred Packer

Once again, sorry for any inconvenience this may have caused you all.

Since you've caused us no real inconvenience* whatsoever, there's no need to apologize. Real Life issues always trump Forum commitments.

That said, I am very excited to hear you'll be continuing this story. It might well turn out to be the second highlight of my week.

*For whatever reason, you feel compelled to write a very funny and long-running comedy AAR. We, as readers, lap it all up and post the occasional 'Attaboy!' comment. We don't pay you money, we don't barter goods or services for your writing, so it's really hard to see how we have anything to complain about. At least, that's how I see things.

**Murmurandus** · 28-10-2009 10:54

It's alive!

Welcome back!

**coz1** · 28-10-2009 12:22

Good to see you back, AP!

**RGB** · 28-10-2009 15:51

It is back!

(and there was much rejoicing!)

**slokiller** · 28-10-2009 15:58

Ready and waiting to enjoy any updates that you offer.

No need to apologize, true fans will wait for however long it take to get an update.

**RomanGuy** · 28-10-2009 19:05

I willl wait as long as it takes for an update, but I just want reassurance that it will come. I've followed a few very good AARs that eventually die and it makes me sad.

Anyway, you caused no inconvience. Thanks for the update and don't rush, though I'm sure whatever happens is AWESOME!

**Alfred Packer** · 29-10-2009 10:06

Thanks for all the well-wishes everyone, and, as promised, I have an update. I hope you enjoy it! (and coz! I kept it to 20 pix! though most of them are very very small ones!)

**Alfred Packer** · 29-10-2009 10:09

Gunnar III Eriksson Crovan

Emperor of the Crovan Empire, King of the East and West Vikings and of the North and South Skraelings, Lord of Sino, Pontifix Maximus, Rightful King of All Poland and of the Germans, Life-President of the Sino Trade Company.

In Which Peder's Plan Backfires, To Some Extent
(4 July 1634 – 7 July 1634)

Peder and Dagmar are talking in whispered tones in her chambers.

“I’m sorry Dagmar, I just can’t see any way past this. Anastasia is onto us. She’s trebled the guard and she never goes anywhere without Gunnar. You’ve finally been bested by one of his wives.”

“No Peder, I’ll not go down that easy. She has to die before that child is born! I’ve got a plan. Every evening, Gunnar, Ana and the guards stroll the perimeter of the Palace. I will join them this evening. At the Southwest Tower, you create a distraction. I’ll kill her in the confusion.”

Peder sighed. Dagmar, it seemed, was going mad. “And how do you propose I do that?”

Dagmar whirled on him. “You want a crown Peder? Earn it.”

She stormed out of the room.

Late that afternoon, as the Imperial Party slowly approached the Southwest tower, Peder sat alone at the window.

“Gaah. Damnit, think man. What can you do?”

“Hello Peder.”

“Ah! Oh, Bard. You surprised me there. You should probably run along now.”

“Hello Peder.”

“Uh, yes. Hello. Now run along Bard.”

“Hello Peder.”

Peder sighed. He could hear the Emperor’s approach. Time was running out. “Yes, yes, hello Bard. Look, I’m under a lot of stress right now could you…”

“Hello Peder.”

“Oh My God Bard! Has Gunnar knocked the last bit of sense from…

Hold it. I’ve got it!” Peder was excited.

“Hello Ped…”

“Bard! Shut up!” Peder grabbed a hefty book from the case. “Remember how Gunnar always throws stuff at you? Well, here’s you chance to have some fun. Why not throw some heavy stuff down on him! He’s under this window right now!”

Bard cackled uncontrollably as he hurled everything unbolted out the window.

“Huhuhuh huhuhuh huhuh Bonk time for Gunnar! Bonk time for Gunnar! Huhuhuhuh huhuhuhuh!”

Under the window, pandemonium reigned, as tables, chairs, books, a small globe, really all sorts of things reigned down on the Imperial Party. The guard shielded Gunnar as best they could, but the distraction was exactly what Dagmar needed. The only problem, from Peder’s perspective, would be what was going to happen when Bard ran out of crap to throw.

And so, the reign of Gunnar comes to its final conclusion. What does the future have in store for Dagmar? For Bard? Well, find out on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan 2: The World Is Way Too Much!

**Murmurandus** · 29-10-2009 11:12

Hahahahaha... the irony indeed...

Glad to have them Crovans back...

**Rich028** · 29-10-2009 13:19

Nice update, good to have them back.

**RGB** · 29-10-2009 20:42

Lord Torrson hanged for regicide?

Ah...erk.

That's what I call backfired!

**Stuyvesant** · 29-10-2009 21:00

I must admit that I was a little apprehensive when I saw a new update after the hiatus. I worried: "Does Alfred Packer still have it after these months?"

Of course, when I was laughing so hard that I couldn't even breathe, I knew my worries were groundless. Even the repeated "Hello Peder"s were funny, when combined with that gormless CK portrait.

The Empress Anastasia's 'suicide' was the icing on the cake, Peder's execution
the cherry on the icing. That just leaves Bard - and in a battle between the cynical, subtle machinations of Dagmar and the utmost idiocy of Bard... I suddenly feel some concern for Dagmar's longevity. Well, I would, if she weren't such a nasty person.

Oh yeah, nice poetic justice to see Peder get a taste of his own medicine, even if the defenestration in question wasn't fatal.