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On 00:05 AM on 24/12/2011 I wish you all a Merry Christmas from the Fatherland.

Christmas-Tree-4.jpg
 
Chapter 339


Two days later Ian walked back into the kitchen with a set of maps tucked away under his arm. He had spent the time pouring over the maps and mapped out a new route.

However when he heard the voices in there he stopped short of the doorway.

Bales of laughter could be heard. It seemed as if Broadsword/Fundel was good at telling jokes.

He glanced around the edge and saw Felix sitting at the table, arm still in the sling and trying to keep up the façade of the never-smiling and always somewhat irritated Staff Officer (his uniforms had the requisite markings) but Ian knew him well enough to be able to know that he was indeed amused by the joke Fundel had been telling.

But rather than looking at the spy Felix was looking at the daughter. Admittedly Agnes Fundel, while not a classical beauty was pretty in her own way she did have an infectious smile. Ian shook his head and knocked on the door.

“Felix,” he said, “can I speak to you for a minute?”[1]

“Sure,” Felix said and rose.

As Ian walked out he never saw the looks that were exchanged.


“What can I do you for?” he asked as they reached the former diary room.


“The meeting wasn't the only thing he had to do on our mission.”

Felix snorted. “I figured that, mate. The way you didn't have us go for Switzerland come hell or high water was rather obvious you know.” He laughed, and patted Ian on the shoulder. “The things we do for England, eh?”

Ian grinned and turned to a table. He laid out the map of the area. “We – are here.”

He pointed out the approximate location of the farmhouse. “The meeting took place here and from the way there wasn't anything on the radio about this whole matter their search operations can't have been too obvious.”

He pointed at a third location. “So when we go there we won't see too much overt security.”

“What's there?” Felix asked as he studied the map. It seemed to be little more than a small town in rural Germany. In fact the nearest landmark of any significance seemed to be the ancestral castle of the German Imperial Family, or at least it's location, as the current structure there had been constructed under Friedrich Wilhelm IV in 1819.

“Remember a few years ago when we met a certain professor believed to be dead in the Welch mountains?”

Felix' eyebrows shot up and his eyes widened.

“Bloody hell. You are joking, surely?”

“Afraid not.”

einst_7.jpg

The Professor in question
“So what do they want us to do? Die of cancer?” Felix asked only half joking.

Ian shook his head. “No. For one your sister would never forgive me, secondly they want us to have a look around. If we can do some none too obvious sabotage so much the better, but what our lords and masters are interested in is intelligence. They didn't tell me everything but I doubt the Germans are anything near as advanced as we are or Bomber Command would be constant visitors around these parts.”

“Fair enough,” Felix conceded. “We are fairly far away from that place though.”

“True, but we had little choice in the matter.”

Felix nodded. “We should have enough fuel in the car to get there, but from then on out we'll have to improvise again. I hate doing that.”

“So do I. But we don't have another choice.”

“Aye...”


Suddenly an incredible noise could be heard just outside the door and then a person was running away.

“Oh bloody hell.....”

Guns were out in seconds and they ran back into the house.

Upon busting into the kitchen, guns drawn and without any need for more than a few exchanged looks beforehand a plan went into action.

Ian spoke.

“We had hoped to end this without anyone knowing who we really are. Fundel, I am terribly sorry but I am not working for the OKW. Not any more at least.”


Broadsword realized what was going on without even the slightest face movement. Hands still up he asked, as if he didn't know:

“Who are you?”


“Still the same person, but we found out some years ago that Her Majesty's Government is paying far better than the Austrian Corporal.”

“Traitor!” Fundel spat and only hoped that his daughter was convinced. She however wasn't even listening or looking at him. She had an incredibly hurt look on her face and was staring at the ground. That was something they would need to talk about but right now he had to protect his cover.

“Turn towards the wall and place your hands behind your backs.”

They did so and Ian pretended to cover them with his MP40.

Switching to English he said: “Tie them up, but not too hard.”

“Righto.”


Twenty minutes later the car was loaded up and waiting outside. Ian knew that Broadsword was hiding his wireless set under the abandoned barn/workshop and it was unlikely that the building would be searched and even if it was, the set was made to look like little more than a normal Volksempfänger without the casing.


“I'll fire up the car and bring it around front. You follow me in minute and then we're off.”

Felix nodded and stood in the door. After forty-six seconds he half turned and looked at the two people in the room.

“I am truly sorry.”


He never saw the tears.


Once outside he ignored everything around them.

They raced away. Ian glanced at Felix to say something but saw how Felix just stared out the window. Before he could say anything Felix shook himself as if he was shedding some sort of second skin and turned.

“So, from which side should we approach this one?” he asked, “through the front door or the sneaky, ungentlemanly way?”


“Let's go for sneaking about. They'll find out where and what we are soon enough, and we do have to worry about extraction.”

Of course Ian had a plan for that. He should have known...

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Comments, questions, rotten Tomatoes?


[1] Not incredibly common, but a well-known name in Germany.
 
It would be funny if, instead of a nuclear reactor, our special team finds Longino's spear.

[1] As SS General Felix Steiner can testify, for instance.
 
An interesting update... The Germans don't have any of that Norwegian heavy water, so their development of Instant Sunshine is probably even farther behind than it was in real life.

And Merry Christmas / Happy Holidays, everyone.
 
Kurt_Steiner Neither of my heroes in this arc owns a whip or a brown Fedora though...

ViperhawkZ Indeed. It's an irony that the favourite pet-project of all those Nazi Fanboys is the least likely to succeed of all the dodgy schemes cooked up during the dark years.

MarcusAurelius1 Thank you.


Same goes for everyone btw.
 
Chapter 340

In Haigerloch the cellar under the castle that contained the German atomic programme was scarcely wider than a 21st Century one-car garage and about twice as deep. The reactor pile was dormant. Since the Kingdom of Norway had halted sales of heavy water to Germany years ago and domestic sources could provide only minor volumes of less than stellar quality. Short of actually invading Norway there was no way to redress this situation, and procuring heavy Water from the Soviet Union had been vetoed 'on security grounds'.


This, among other things, was what the two British Agents had been sent to find out. Had MI6 and the Torchwood Institute been aware of this the mission would never have been laid on in the first place.

“So what do you expect to find down there? The Arc of the Covenants? The Holy Grail?” Felix asked.

“No, for I am not an Archeologist, nor do I own the appropriate headgear for that sort of work.” Ian replied, “but I do see your point.”

He turned the car off the road and into between some fields and hills, concealing them from easy view. They were an hour from the farm and Ian was sure they were not being followed. It was time to make for their destination. They could have taken the Highway but the problem was that this was far too obvious and there were too few opportunities to go off the road should the need arise.

“There's little enough that the Admiral could tell our people, and all of that is horribly outdated by now.”

He paused and looked at Felix. “Everything al-right?”

“Yes, yes. Why shouldn't it be?”

“Fair enough. So anyway, according to the briefing I was given, the Germans are nowhere near reaching something called 'critical mass', whatever that is. And from what they didn't tell me I think that the Germans aren't going to achieve that soon. I mean considering how large the programme was even when we saw it in Wales and when you compare it to the description...”

Felix leaned back in his seat and considered this. “So no secret Nazi Super-Weapon then.”

“Lord no.” Ian replied and re-started the engine, “but someone is worried.”

“And because of that two humble and faithful servants of the Crown get send into enemy territory on a bloody wild goose chase.”

The car moved off.


Haigerloch_Schloss_2011.jpg

The Castle Church below which the cellar is located


“They do build them pretty, I have to give them that.” Felix remarked as he looked at the spire of the church through a pair of binoculars.

“The entrance seems to be down there.” Ian said and pointed at a shed that was leaning against the rock and seemed to serve no practical purpose.

“You are kidding me, right?”

13277904.jpg

The entrance in 2011.​

“Apparently not. The sketches and descriptions we have are very clear on that. But...”

“But you can see even from here that it's rather unlikely the Gerries are anywhere near where we are, wherever that is?”

Ian just nodded.

“Let's wait for darkness.”
~**---**~


In the dark they parked the car a few blocks from the entrance near the village church and approached it on foot. Both wore their Gestapo outfits, both as a cover and to dissuade any nosy questions. The shed itself wasn't guarded on the outside, the only sign of it being in any use was a bicycle chained to a tree and blackout curtains in the windows.

The door was locked but Felix, while Ian stood guard, knocked on the door. A lock turned and the guard inside, armed with pistol, found himself faced with two clearly very high-ranking men who found that his uniform was out of order.

“Yes, Sir! Do you wish to speak to Professor Heisenberg?”

“Of course!” Ian improvised, “and you will never tell anyone that we were here, not even the Führer should he come by and ask. Understood?”

“Yes, Sir!” the man said and snapped to attention with a Nazi salute that would do the Leibstandarte proud.

Through the door they went and looked at what had the Torchwood Institute so scared.

4684_1.jpg

They knew they had been right when saying that that the German programme was nowhere near what the Torchwood Institute had possessed when they had last heard of Tube Alloys. Ian discreetly motioned for Felix to start taking pictures, using the miniature camera[1] MD-1 had developed. For some reason Ian thought that calling it 'Q-Branch' was a good idea. He filed this away for future use.[2]

Professor Heisenberg was leaning over a desk where he was working on some papers. Ian was tempted to merely hit him over the head or shoot him outright but that would make it too bloody obvious that someone knew what was going on here and in the paranoia that pervaded Germany these days everyone would immediately point to Allied Intelligence.

No, better try and worm every bit of intelligence out of him that was in there, put the fear of god into him lest he talk about them to anyone while they were still in Germany and then legg it towards the Swiss border as if Beelzebub himself was on their tail. Considering who had to be howling mad with anger that was probably not even that far from the truth.

Suddenly Ian yearned for a cup of tea[3] and stepped over to Heisenberg.

“Professor, could I have a moment of your time?”

“Who are you?” Heisenberg yelled but instantly stopped when he saw the Gestapo insignia.

“No worries, Professor. We know that you are loyal to the Führer and the Fatherland.” Ian lied and glanced over to where the near empty reactor was waiting for heavy water and Uranium.[4]

“However my principals do not trust others in the chain back to Berlin so we have been sent to verify the...truthfulness of various reports so that appropriate measures can be taken if need be. And to that end you must never mention our visit.”

That had been said in a tone of voice that made even Felix's skin crawl. As annoying as the Red Caps were at times they never disappeared people like the statement implied. Suddenly Felix had an image of Ian sitting in an armchair, stroking a white-haired cat, an image that for some reason implied evil..

While Ian and Heisenberg talked he started walking around, taking pictures whenever no one was looking. He was less than impressed. Even when the British programme had been located in the Welch mountains it had been more than this. There was a pile, yes, but the one Einstein and his people had operated even back then had been larger, and by the looks of it also significantly better shielded. But it was empty, the racks that would eventually take the Uranium cubes were fastened to the top covering and raised with it.

Ian was being given a detailed briefing that told him more about nuclear theory than he had ever learned before and together with what he knew and suspected it was frightening. If this could be weaponized and if the Germans managed it then Britain was doomed.

But luckily he had the same impression of the local state of affairs as Felix. Einstein and Bohr would be far more able to evaluate the pictures but even he as a layman could estimate the likelyhood of success by the shear scale of this facility when compared to what he had been told about Torchwood, and that had been only the most broad and vague outline and he still didn't know where it was.

~**---**~

They stepped back into darkness twenty hair-raising minutes later after issuing more blood-curdling threats about not telling anyone they had been there. Neither spoke until their car was moving again.

“Bloody hell.”

“Aye.” Ian replied, “if that is their main effort then we won't have anything to worry about.”

“But we can't know that.”

Ian nodded. “True enough.”


They never even saw the checkpoint until they came around the corner half an hour later. No way of avoiding it. And they also didn't know that Heydrich was inspecting it. He was limping massively and ahd he sought proper medical attention instead of joining the hunt it may have been less pronounced but he was there.

Asked later Felix would say that the first indication that something was wrong was that there were more guards than usual, the second being when they yelled recognition and the bullets started flying.

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Comments, questions, rotten Tomatoes?

[1] By WW2 standards. It's still about the size of a large cigarette case, can take only a limited number of pictures and with crap quality even by the standards of the time.

[2] O brother what a bad insert... Still, couldn't help myself.

[3] At this point I rose, fired up the water cooker and made a quick one for myself.

[4] There was/is a significant Uranium deposit in Eastern Germany. While this wasn't a secret it also wasn't really exploited until the Soviets combed their zone for anything related to German Nuclear research and discovered some 100 metric tons of Uraniumoxide and wondered where it might be coming from. By 1990 (when predictably the ex-Soviet/German company went bust) they were the world's 3rd largest Uranium producer. The price that was paid for that...

That said, while it is likely that to a certain degree the materials found there will fuel British and French Nukes to some degree the company will extract nowhere near as much TTL, mostly because the British aren't as starved for domestic or Commonwealth sources and a evil, greedy Imperialist-Capitalist company has more regard for it's repressed workers. OTL the reactor wasn't actually in the cellar until 1945 (and rumour has it that the Uranium, after being discovered hidden in a pile of manure) ended up in New Mexico but here it was moved for security reasons as there are hundreds of dirty, filthy, slavic Bolsheviks running around Berlin and her Universities. The cellar was discovered earlier and then rented out until some nameless staffer found and rented it.
 
Funny. I was watching Conspiracy today for the .....etieth time and now I find good old Reinhard messing around...

At least Heissenberg is not going anywhere, atomically speaking.
 
The Commonwealth will not want for Uranium, that's for sure: Canada and Australia are the second and third largest producers of 'Tube Alloys' in the world (after Kazakhstan :p), together accounting for 36% of world Uranium production as well as the three largest mines of the stuff (McArthur river [Canada], Ranger [Australia], Olympic dam [Australia]).
 
Kurt_Steiner I admittedly was tempted to have Heisenberg end up with a hole in the head, but that would have been against their mission orders so I didn't. Heydrich on the other hand... but the bastard was tough OTL...

ViperhawkZ QED. The Wismut will likely end up fuelling German Nuclear Power plants for the most part. If anything the landscape won't suffer. I'm far from an Eco-warrior but dear god what they did to their own country is beyond belief...

Agent Larkin So Ian doesn't own a battered, beloved and epicly cool brown Fedora... :D

MarcusAurelius1 Well, not Ninja mode, but there will be lot's of gunfire in their immediate future.

Looking forward to that report.
 
Agent Larkin So Ian doesn't own a battered, beloved and epicly cool brown Fedora... :D.

As awesome as Ian was OTL and is TTL I don't think he reaches "that" level of awe inspiring. For example we haven't seen him hold his breath while holding on to a U-Boat for an impossible amount of time.

Although after typing that I feel the urge to add the word Yet to that sentence.
 
I must say that Subs of the time only went below when on the attack. He technically could have hid at the rear of the superstructure. If the AA guns were never manned.

EDIT: And if the crew were blinded. But still, he also could have used the whip to tie himself to the periscope for as long it were raised.
 
Chapter 341

Ian's reaction times were as sharp as could be expected under the circumstances. The second he saw the figure turn around and saw that it was Heydrich he slammed the accelerator pedal to the floor and the big four cylinder Diesel Engine in the front of the Mercedes[1] roared as the car lurched forward.

Bullets peppered the body of the car but the suddenness of the movement and the darkness the scene was bathed in made aiming difficult. Forward momentum saved them as the surprised guards didn't compensate for the motion of the car and most of the bullets slammed into the rear of the car or missed completely.

Several bullets smashed into the engine block and instantly killed one of the four cylinders and the radiator, though for the moment the engine kept running and the car slammed through the wooden roadblock.

“KEEP GOING!” Felix yelled to be heard over the din of gunfire and made to fire his gun out of the window but before he could even pull back the safety they were beyond the roadblock and roaring down the road. Ian flipped the switch for the lights but both in the front and the back they had been destroyed.

“Bloody hell, the engine is giving out and they are following us.”

Even the partially blacked out lights were clearly visible.

Felix glanced over at Ian. “What do you think? Around the next corner, into the ditch and hope they pass us by?”

Ian nodded in the darkness. He fought to keep the car going, but by the sound of it they had lost another cylinder. They were now driving through a small wooded area. The tactic they were going to try didn't actually consist of driving into a ditch, it was a colloquialism for getting ahead, stopping and then either ambushing the enemy or letting them go past and then head off in the other direction. When the road slightly curved and momentarily vanished behind a hill he slammed the wheel hard to the left and in seconds they had disappeared in the bushes. The engine was on it's last legs and died completely as Ian brought the car to a halt in a low depression. Before it had even come to a halt a group of vehicles raced past on the road and off into the intermediate distance. It wouldn't take them long to figure out what they had done for they weren't stupid.

Ignoring their torn luggage they grabbed their Machine Carbines, the small bags with money and papers, the coats and hats from the back seat.

They then did their best impression of the French Army and left the area as fast as they could.

It took the Germans almost twenty minutes to realize what had happened. Heydrich roared in anger and nearly had the men in the lead car arrested on the spot but thought better. Instead the group turned around, drove back and excluding the drive time.


In the end the two Spies ended up having near an hour's head start. Normally a pack of dogs would lead the search but Heydrich had been looking around and inspecting checkpoints for lack of anything better to do and the next such unit was an hour away. It was pointless to search now.

Instead, upon arriving at the block Heydrich commandeered the field telephone and gave orders for near half an hour. Half an hour after that rear area and security units all over Würtemberg between Stuttgart and the Swiss border went on full alert and every road junction, village road and bridge was given a roadblock. Early morning traffic was searched and while almost immediately a deserter was caught hiding in a hay cart the two spies eluded capture.

It was quickly established that they were going for Switzerland. Denmark, as the other closest Neutral Country was much too far away and without being hunted and in daylight the drive was only a matter of a few hours.


A web was descending over the country and sooner or later they would be caught. When it was discovered that the car they had been using had been stolen from a doctor's house and re-fuelled with fully genuine petrol coupons, police stations were alerted to report any stolen vehicle in their area and every petrol station, fuel pump owner and military and civilian garage operator were ordered to be on watch for two men buying petrol at unusual times.

Heydrich was sure he would catch them.


~**---**~​

“You know, I wish that meeting could have been held near Hamburg or thereabouts.”

“How so?” Felix asked.

“Because there at least we could get ourselves a good cup of tea.”

That was true of course. Had they been sitting in the Club in London Felix would have theorized that Northern Germany being at least half-civilized was a by-product of the old connection between the British and Hannoverian lines, but right now all Felix cared about was that Tea would at least be warm.

For hours they had trecked through the woods and fields and right on cue, minutes after sunrise had begun, it had started to rain and by now they were both soaked to the bone. Their papers and money were in waterproof bags but the rest of them wasn't. They were carrying their few spare magazines for their weapons directly against the skin to keep them from direct dampness and had their gun's open parts wrapped in cloth.

They had tried to steal another car but so far what they had seen was either without petrol or an official vehicle that would draw attention to them like if they had painted the White Ensign on the side.

So they kept walking through the rain and Felix kept thinking about recent events. He would have to sort out his feelings eventually and he wasn't even sure how serious they were but right now he needed to concentrate on surviving. That had been the ninth time at the very least that he had thought this but Ian, who suspected what was going on knew that Felix was professional enough to at least wait until they weren't hunted.

The reached a road and froze. They could easily hear a sound they knew all too well. An air-cooled engine identical to the one that powered the ubiquitous Kübelwagen. They looked at each other and Ian nodded. They needed transport and by now they were all willing to risk being caught with a military vehicle.

By now it was light enough so when Ian stepped into the road and raised his gun. The vehicle that came at them and stoopped within inches of Ian's toes was unlike anything either of them had ever seen.


VW_Kaefer_DW_Sonsti_484874p.jpg

What would later be known as the VW Beetle was prototype-tested throughout the war as a more luxurious version of Officer Car.
After the war, and at the request of the Polish Occupation Authorities production was re-started and eventually opened for the civilian market.[2]

The driver was dragged from his vehicle and after a struggle knocked over the head when he refused to give up his car. Ian contemplated just shooting him but when he found a family picture he settled for merely knocking him out and tying him to a tree in a position where he would be found eventually.

It may have been the exhaustion or the picture, he would never know. All he knew was that for that he had killed enough for the moment.


The inside of the war was almost as cold as the outside as the heater, while it did blow air around, failed to generate any appreciable heat[3]. The best thing however was that they found a termos flask full with Coffee. It was god-awful, German wartime Ersatz-Coffee but it was warm and there was enough for the both of them.

They shared as the car clattered off into the day. While Ian drove Felix searched through the bags in the back of the car. There was little that could help them except for some clothes that turned out to be too small for either of them and some papers that showed that the man was working for the German Labour Front, a high enough functionary to rate a car and petrol coupons.

“Dear god, this is really supposed to be a car then.”

Ian smiled. “I suppose. Räder müssen rollen für den Sieg. after all.”

“They could at least have fitted a proper heater. There is no way this piece of rubbish would ever sell on the civilian market.”[4]

Discussions over the car over they concentrated on staying alive. Being on the road in daylight had the advantage that they could see more and didn't need to use their lights to see where they were going. They decided not to take the direct route.


It proved to be wise. By circling wide enough to almost enter Bavaria they added almost two days to their journey but they skirted the edges of the most heavily patrolled area. They were nearly caught twice but still reached the Swiss border. All that remained now was trying to cross it.

Felix suggested that going on foot was smarter and in spite of the cold they parked the car.

“Where to go?” Felix asked and then looked at Ian. “You know, the Gerries are the problem. The Swiss are easily enough persuaded. We show them our British papers and at worst they intern us and we sit out the war.”

“Good idea,” Ian decided after a few seconds, “and these days they know which way the wind is blowing.”

Ian was right of course. The Swiss were distancing themselves from the Axis powers and that manifested itself in any number of ways, most of all in that British Intelligence was not actively hindered in it's operations against the Axis out of Swiss territory and that Allied Soliders and airmen were officially interned and then driven in a lorry to a border crossing with Italy where the driver and the single guard invariably answered a call of nature for about fifteen minutes.

If two persons professed to be working for the British Embassy then one would telephone said embassy, verify identity and then let those persons go.


So the moment they crossed the border they would be safe, but their problem was now to get past the tank traps, the barned wire and the German patrols.


Felix looked at the lay of the land and remarked that if they were on motorcycle they could jump over it.

“Don't be ridiculous, Felix. No one would ever try that.”

“So we're stuck with hiking through the mountains.”

“Yes indeed.”

“Oh well, as a lad from Colorado the Mountains aren't that foreign to me since I first climbed up Cheyenne Mountain.”[5]

“Let's get it on then.”

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Comments, questions, rotten Tomatoes?

[1] This particular model was the first ever series-produced Diesel passenger car. Sorry for that one.

[2] OTL it were the British Authorities who restarted that for their own use. So El Pip, in case you read this: This is all your lot's fault. :p

[3] A common VW ailment that plagued them in every single one of their rear-engined cars well into the 1980s. By the time the transporter my parents drive was produced it was slightly better but still took ages.

[4] Oh ye of little faith.... :D

[5] Felix is from Denver, Colorado after all.
 
:D that's for the bit about the barb wire.

So the VW is already out there with all its faults. Perhaps the Poles will help to solve them :p
 
:D that's for the bit about the barb wire.

So the VW is already out there with all its faults. Perhaps the Poles will help to solve them :p

Because Polish cars are known worldwide for quality and elegaaaahhhhhh I can't even say that sarcastically.
 
Kurt_Steiner :D

The Beetle was far from perfect but for us Hunns it's a symbol of our economic recovery after the war.

ViperhawkZ
In AAO they will have a supply vs demand market to contend with and their companies will be run on capitalist principles. They will have to adapt to that.

MarcusAurelius1 And the same to everyone else from me!