King of Sparta
Groping for Glory, 20 January 474 AUC to 17 August 477 AUC
I have just signed an alliance with Macedon, the baddest country in the neighborhood. Why do they want us for allies? You got me, but this will be useful.
Eirene passed away today. I will miss her hunched, misshapen, lurching walk. And also the sex.
I have remarried. Meet Eunice. While I admit, she is an insane epileptic, she is also hot to trot and, let’s face it. I can’t be too picky.
I should probably share some responsibilities with noble families outside my own so they don’t get, I don’t know, all stabby with me.
I will let Apollonides of the Zagreid Clan command the Militia. I will hand the command of the Heavy Infantry to Stuttering Ephron. I’m guessing by the time he could finish uttering the words, “Hey guys, lets overthrow the King!” I will have had ample time to make a leisurely stroll across the mud-pit that forms my Courtyard and relieve him of command.
I have fathered a daughter. Her name is Charis. That is all.
I have sent the army off to the Barbarian Northlands in search of glory, possibly slaves and maybe a good site for a colony.
When there are large numbers of heavily armed and bored men sitting around the castle, sometimes you need to just get them out of the place, not just because bored, heavily armed men might get some funny ideas about re-distributing power, but also because they don’t spend all that free time bathing, let me tell you.
The Generals sent back word that Maedi was kind of a waste of time, but that there was a country called Thydis that might – might mind you – be weaker than we are. They have 6,000 men just like we do. But their costumes seem to indicate they are even poorer than we are, so unless they have some allies, well…I might just have to unleash a little Spartan mayhem.
I have entrusted the least loyal noble with a very critical mission: to got to the barbarian lords of Thytis and tell them Sparta is going to kill their menfolk, enslave their womenfolk and reduce their villages to mud.
I hear these barbarians actually eat
And now, the first clash of Spartan arms! I know my Generals and soldiers will make me proud.
And we did it! I mean, we actually won two battles in a row!
Thrace will be mine…er…Sparta’s! With all its rich juicy helots ready to work to death to support their master’s lavish lifestyle…ah. Good Times.