You Godwin son, and you lose some: A Family Saga

Marshal, bring up the up the map.




As you can see, this slavic place is rebelling. Should they break away, I think I'll try to annex them. Should they not...

Well I'll still annex them eventually.

I've come to the decision that I need Dukes. However to get Dukes, I need to become a King.

Therefore, I plan to conquer as much of the surrounding area as possible.

With that sort of support base, me or my ancestors might have a chance against the Normans.

First we will attack...




Not now Courier, I'm busy.



First we'll attack the county of Memel, a war to rob them of their territory. My armies easily surpass anything he can raise against me.
It will be swift and bl...

wait...wait a MINUTE!


Courier, show that slide again please!





!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT'S A MIRCLE! THANK YOU LORD!
Celebrate! All of the realm celebrate!
Thank you, thank you thank you God!



Er, where'd that hat come from?
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Arrows buzzing through the air, bodies clashing all around me, the noise of shattering bone and splintering steal penetrating my very being.

All these are nothing more then shrill shadows, for I fought on without pause. Nothing could stop me, nothing could harm me.

I have an heir.
And his name is Harold.
Hell yeah.






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After fighting, and winning a glorious victory against the Memel-ites. A vast siege began..which was abruptly ended when Denmark accepted a large sum of cash from Memel..and stopped the war.



At which point my victorious army found itself on neutral ground.

Annoyed.




War was once more declared, and they were swiftly annexed. For after the first slaughter they could find no more men to fight.

Frikkn Denmark.


Then some Missionaries showed up.



Uh no, I don't want to hear about the 'true gospel'.






Having turned away Gods missionaries, he punishes me with a new Norman Son.

But I don't care! I have my precious Harold.

Piere? Seriously? Who picked that name..whatever. Put him with the other Norman children in the re-education room.




My thirst for conquest not yet satisfied, I had my Marshal color our next target orange.

It helps the soldiers.






All 12941 of them.




Marshal Glum, while not the most skilled in combat, has an incredible melancholy name, which I can use to make bad puns.

Hence why he leads men in battle.




Surprisingly, my 5158 man army made quick work of his 488 men.


And I celebrate the victory accordingly.



Better not be another Norman. Or I'm finding myself a new baby-machine.

Hear me, Eve?

I still need like 7 more provinces before I can claim myself King of Lithuania. And while fighting Slavics keeps me busy...It's just not the same as fighting Normans.

What's that Courier? A message? In a pink shaped envelope?
Well open it! Must I dictate your every action?

yes...now read it to me!



My brother's only son you say?
That pansy.

Well guess that means we gotta get to work fixing up his junky failure of a nation.

What's that Marshal?

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Damnit! False alarm. Just another future baby-maker.

Come Marshal Glum, stop looking so glum!
hahahahaha, ah I joke. But seriously, come, we got plans to make and nations to take.

I'm still young ya know.

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You ​

Win ​

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Big news today in the Duchy of Slavic New Anglo-Land,



The Norman's old lady of a wife finally kicked the bucket.
As The Norman's grandfather is 10 years older than I am, and seeing how I am in am 56... this couldn't have come at a better time.

(Don't mind the one dead son he had, it was a bastard)

Now to find him a nice new wife while I still retain control over him..


Someone old, perhaps with a trait that lowers their fertility..



And has a witch's nose.
Perfect.

They really should give me a problem solving trait.(Since I solve them so easily and completely)



Killing her sister and marrying Eve, has been one of my best decisions to date.



But there's also some sad news as of late.
The great Mashal Glum, has died.

If only he wasn't so Glum! hahaha, ah I kill myself.

But really, it's quite sad, I liked him alot.

Which is why I'm giving him a kick-ass warrior funeral.
Show these slavics how we Saxon do things.







To a great warrior!



In his memory I shall conquer a nearby slavic nation, and re-name it Glumheim.

To arms men!



The frail defenders of the future county of Glumheim will not know what hit them.

Beneath the onslaught of our well trained Anglo-Slavics they quickly succumb.

There is a lull in the fighting.

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Bloody Couriers.

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As mad as I might make her, she sure knows how to keep me happy.




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Awh, Damnit.


What's this...


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Son of a..norman..


At least a Godwinson is back in England.
I'll have to do something about this later though.




*Later at the castle*


Hmm? Some one is at the door? For me?

Oh great, Missionaries...again.




How many times do I have to tell you guys! Yes, I am quite happy. No I am not interested in God's message for humanity.

Good grief.




What? That sooo better not have been because I turned the Missionaries away..





If at first you don't succeed. Try, Try, Try, Try, Try, Try, Try, Try, Try, Try, Try and Try again!



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