Bhutan - The Nation That Wasn't

**Wardo** · 19-10-2007 21:22

Maybe I'm just too silly but I laughed my ass off from this.

**CatKnight** · 19-10-2007 21:50

You're being silly.

I cannot believe you laughed at the glory, majesty and pageantry of Bhutan!

I'm only sad that DoW chose such an easy country.

**Duke of Wellington** · 21-10-2007 09:10

Chief Ragusa - Next most puny maybe, but there is a big difference still.

BBBD316 - Not quite an All Black performance, they didn't even get that far.

Ahura Mazda - Nepalese are a distant concern as you'll see.

Wardo - Well I'm glad you've enjoyed it.

CatKnight - Sorry to disappoint but sometimes I just feel like a relaxing walk in the park.

**Duke of Wellington** · 21-10-2007 09:13

Well I'm sure you're all dying to hear about the dashing and courageous deeds of that bold defender of South East Asian liberty, Bhutan. Unfortunately reality has to kick in at some time and we instead are left with a less than inspiring, but true tale.

I decided that given the circumstances described previously this kingship would be a difficult task. However if I wanted to achieve something I knew I really had to believe in my ability and stir my men to greatness. At the same time I also figured I might as well get blood from a stone, empty a lake with a sieve, hold back the tide with force of will and catch the monsoon in paper cup.

My opening move is to personally lead the army (which you will have noted has been renamed for inspiration). Not only to show my loyalty to the men but also to make up for the fact that there is no other person in this damned country actually capable of leading one thousand men in the same direction at the same time.

Prior to becoming king I considered diplomacy to be a great path to prosperity. Through peaceful negotiation a stable and happy world could be achieved. So with this in mind I eagerly dispatched my first diplomats as one of my first acts.

The response was left than I hoped for and has convinced that diplomacy is for chumps and other nations are really just pricks.

As you will have noted our military defences were somewhat lacking and diplomacy had failed to make up for this. However my last hope was that our almost complete lack of anything of value would leave us left in obscurity and safe from attack.

I was wrong. Plain and simple.

Soon the invaders were upon us and battle joined. Myself upon a magnificent stallion leading the organised ranks of Bhutan's finest to crush the opposition swiftly is how I would have liked the battle to go. Instead any of my attempts to lead the men were approximately as effective as herding cats. They simply went everywhere. However in the end through some miracle the Assamese were defeated. I don't know how or why. But it happened and I'll accept that.

Of course had the war ended then it would have all been fine. But it didn't. The Assamese came back in force, caught us catnapping and that was that. Only a few died in the battle but afterwards the rest just dissipated into thin air. Our army was no more. On the upside it meant no longer having to pay for their upkeep which had already forced me to take a loan. Although I do wonder why I was given a loan having no collateral to speak of what so ever.

So it was that I find myself the king of a nation with no army, no access to my capital and quite honestly no hope. Yet still it went downhill from there. Hard to believe. But seeing little old Bhutan struggling to survive was apparently quite the bait needed to bring in the waiting sharks.

So with nothing much left to do I settled down and wiled away the time. Soon the walls of Thimphu crumbled (frankly they lasted longer than I ever thought they would) and the Assamese found themselves in possession of my capital. No doubt they were most disappointed.

Then it was time for the peace deals to roll in. However I'm not sure that deals is really the right word since I had no say in the matter. Only two were needed in the end. One from Ahmadnagar which would be the most favourable I would receive.

Then one from Assam. Apparently they weren't so disappointed with Thimphu for they insisted that all of Bhutan be incorporated into their nation. All I have to say on the matter is that I think it's a pretty sweet result. For at last I'm relieved of the burden of being King of Bhutan and they're stuck with all the troubles it brings. Now it's time get back to being a shepherd and put all of this nasty business behind me.

Long live the Empire of Assam

The End.

**Trondheim** · 21-10-2007 09:44

It seems as though everyone wanted to gain control of six houses and assorted barrels for some odd reason. An ending truly fit for a small nation!

**coz1** · 21-10-2007 15:30

Well, that went quickly. You might have been better off if you actually did have cats in your army instead of the silly soldiers running in every direction.

Oh well, at least we got some good laughs out of it. Thanks for that, Duke.

**Lordban** · 21-10-2007 15:38

It went pretty fast

But it was a fun read, and at the end of the day, isn't it what counts?

**germanpeon** · 21-10-2007 18:57

**merrick** · 21-10-2007 21:32

That was cool and it made me laugh. Thumbs up from me!

**Chief Ragusa** · 21-10-2007 21:43

You didn't feel the need to load up as Assam.

**Lord Durham** · 21-10-2007 23:12

Well, it's obvious it was the diplomatic corps' fault.

Fun read.

**Capibara** · 22-10-2007 04:08

yeah, I was completely wrong

**Duke of Wellington** · 22-10-2007 05:25

Trondheim - I wonder what was in the barrels. Maybe I should have checked. Was that where they were hiding their wealth?

coz1 - Thanks coz, glad that you enjoyed it. It was fun to write and basically my intention all along to write a very short AAR. Some cats probably would have been handy.

Lordban - It was intended to be short but fun. Quite enjoyable for me too.

germanpeon - Don't be sad. Bhutan was a pain to play as anyway.

merrick - Thanks. I'm glad that it was fun, especially hearing that from such a high calibre writer as yourself is great.

Chief Ragusa - Franky, the further away from the region the better.

Lord Durham - Great to see you along LD. Yeah definitely the diplomats fault. Lousy sons of a......

Capibara - Yip, having faith in Bhutan really isn't a good way to get anywhere.

**Charle_88** · 22-10-2007 11:52

And so it ends. =(

**PrawnStar** · 22-10-2007 13:41

Well, I did expect this to happen but it's still sad.

Nice to see the sharks scenting blood AI - the moment you're driven from your capital as a minor in 1453 all your neighbours seem to jump in.

Still, look on the bright side, the Duke will doubtless shortly do an AAR about another country no one else realised was in the game.

**Lordban** · 22-10-2007 15:40

If the quality is the same as this one, I'll certainly be following

**Ahura Mazda** · 22-10-2007 15:51

" Bhutan - the nation that wasn't "

Now I get it!

**GrimPagan** · 22-10-2007 23:44

The DOOM song, we are singing the DOOM song, and if you are doomed, then come along and sing the DOOM song.

**Amob_m_s** · 23-10-2007 01:42

Does anyone know if there's been an AAR yet for EU3 less than 2 posts total? I thinkthis might just have the glory of being the shortest complete EU3 AAR. And hilarious to boot, great stuff there.

**Raaritsgozilla** · 31-10-2007 03:01

Well...
Ive never played EU3, got so frustrated with EU1 that I sold it for a dollar. But that! That! That was an AAR i could be proud to read. It lit up my life.
All things told, doomed from the start springs to mind.
Tough luck, in inspiration of you efforts I shall name a NZ division after you!

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