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Thread: Bhutan - The Nation That Wasn't

  1. #1

    Bhutan - The Nation That Wasn't

    Some of you may know of the little nation of Bhutan. I know of it all too well. For you see there was a time in my life when I was the King of that nation. I will now endeavour to tell you a little more of that time. I'd also like to start by noting, as you may have already, that I'm speaking in the past tense. This little fact is probably the only blessing in the whole tale.

    Now I'm not usually a man of strong opinions, but in the course of my time in charge of Bhutan I did form one strong one. There really must be some form of examination to determine fitness for kingship. However I'm not talking the normal kind which determines whether a person is fit to rule. No what I want to see is a test to determine if a country is actually fit to have a king. Had one of those been undertaken upon Bhutan prior to arrival then this sorry little tale no doubt wouldn't be taking place.

    But this tale is taking place and thats that. So in the worlds of some famous person (therefore clearly not from Bhutan) always look on the bright side of life. Trouble is though that when you're in complete darkness even the most pathetic of birthday candles will look very bright indeed.

    Alright then, enough moaning. Lets have a better look at the shouldn't-be-a-nation of Bhutan.

    This is me and my right hand man Brug-Ngyas. As you can see I'm considered by most to be a pretty decent king. I can therefore say that whatever might become of Bhutan is probably not my fault. It's the countries fault. I also have only one rght hand man because, well right hand men like to get paid and we aren't to keen on those in Bhutan

    This should pretty much inform you why it is that we don't like payments. Its also another excellent point for why Bhutan shouldn't be a nation. After all what kind of nation have such a low patriotic fervour that all the people combined can only rustle up 1.7 gold coins to keep the nation afloat. 1.7! I mean its not even a whole number. They must have actively taken a coin and cut it into two just so as not to give it to me. Yeah this nation is doomed.

    This is the whole nation. Not a pretty sight. Should be fairly self explanatory as to whether a nation like this really deserves to be a nation.

    And this is the capital, Thimphu. At this point I'd like to draw your attention to the last syllable of Thimphu which is aptly pronounced poo. This city also shows that someone here has a sense of humour. Its just ridiculous building a wall around this city. It's six houses, six trees and assorted shrubs and barrels. When you consider that one of the houses is mine (second from left) and another belongs to Brug-ngyas (third from left) it's even stupider.

    Surely the money spent on that wall would have been far more useful dealing with the chronic shortage of men this nation experiences. I sure can't blame so few people for living here. Certainly if I'd known a bit more about this country then that number would read 633 right now and you wouldn't be reading this tale. My statisticians did inform that in Bhutan we could be proud of having the most accurate count of soldiers in the world. Of course I'd expect nothing less, since if I wrote all the soldiers names on a piece of paper it would struggle to cover both sides.

    And last but not least here's a wider look at our place amongst all the real nations of the world. Surprise, surprise it ain't a pretty sight either and it's all gonna be downhill from here.

  2. #2
    Dei Gratia author dharper's Avatar
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    General Lordban's Avatar
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    There's one point worth noticing: with the 1,000-strong regiment and the potential to have another 1,000 men in reserve, it means all but a few of Bhutanese males are fit for military service!
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  4. #4
    GunslingAAR coz1's Avatar
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  5. #5
    Private Avakki's Avatar
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    Look at the bright side, dear King; no one else wants those 6 huts and trees of yours. You can live in peace.

  6. #6
    Fortunately, my computer refuses to display Thimpu. i think if I lived in Bhutan, I'd see military service as the best way to leave it. For some strange reason I am dreaming of a warm sea, very clean people and some excellent hair products - yaks milk just doesn't have the same effect.

  7. #7
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  11. #11
    Angel of Death germanpeon's Avatar
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  12. #12
    First Lieutenant Trondheim's Avatar
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    Interesting choice, even though a nation with six houses and assorted barrels isn't very interesting. Quite a challenge, too, with the Mughals at the border and Ming so close by. I wish you good luck!

  13. #13
    Sergeant Thror's Avatar

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  14. #14
    Nepal, Arakan, Manipur. One of these WILL be your enemies and i know it Or Tibet will get rid of you, that's also an alternative.Also i'd do a little exploring and get one province in europe so you can westernize quickly (when you get a core port). Unless... you don't plan that... then it would be even more fun

    Oh and the introduction looks like " i will tell you a story as how a loser became a lord to be feared of , at least for some time "
    Quote Originally Posted by Duke of Wellington
    So in the worlds of some famous person (therefore clearly not from Bhutan) always look on the bright side of life.
    So that person must be from Poland then !
    Last edited by kfijatass; 17-10-2007 at 17:43.

  15. #15
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  16. #16
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  17. #17
    dharper - Doesn't sound good....

    Lordban - I guess thats a good thing. Now if only there were more men.

    coz1 - Who knows. Maybe they are all in hiding to avoid the taxes?

    Avakki - But how will I be able to afford to pay for their upkeep without war?

    Chief Ragusa - Hair products are but a distant dream. No display of Thimphu? Do you mean you aren't seeing the pictures?

    HannibalBarca - Was that an evil heh heh?

    Kanil - Well thats a relief isn't it. 34. With gains like that I be able to throw away men left right and centre as cannon fodder.

    merrick - Not really. Perhaps I can aim to be the bug that crashes into the windscreen and distracts the driver so they crash? Though I don't really know how that will work.

    Capibara - I sincerely doubt that.

    germanpeon - Haven't checked that out yet. I'm not hopeful.

    Trondheim - Heck even Assam and Tibet nearby are big rivals.

    Thror - Yeah, thats likely to happen

    kfijatass - One or all will be my enemies.

    Charle_88 - Good to have you along.

    rcduggan - Cool, hope you enjoy it.

  18. #18
    Not first time I went in. Subsequently, it appeared palm trees in all their glory. Hair today, gone tomorrow.

    Assam looks like the next most puny nation on the beach.

  19. #19
    Lt. General BBBD316's Avatar
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    Hopefully Bhutan won't put up an all black world cup performance

  20. #20
    Maharaja of Fenno-Scandia Ahura Mazda's Avatar
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    Watch out for the Nepalese!

    Sometime soon, they'll come for you!

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