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Eams said:
And good God how Leofwine looks useless! Why not put him first in line to inherit the throne?

I would rather see some sort of roleplaying, where decisions should reflect the ruler's personality. Wulfhere seems to be the usual medieval no-nonsense guy . So he most probably won't make someone totally useless his successor. This, of course, may change with age and some disease or other.

On the other hand, sending your proposed successor to England is always a bad idea. Though Wulfhere is excused. He has been separated from the main Crovan line too long to know.

But I see Wulfhere is slowly rising to high Crovan standards ... no, let me rephrase that: rising to Cro... nah ... heading towards Crovan standards. Yes, that's it. :D

P.S.: Will we see Svein again? Obviously, beating someone on the head with a heavy object can't have any serious effect on a person who sees no reason to use his head anyway (except for talking nonsense).
 
Sokraates said:
I would rather see some sort of roleplaying, where decisions should reflect the ruler's personality. Wulfhere seems to be the usual medieval no-nonsense guy . So he most probably won't make someone totally useless his successor. This, of course, may change with age and some disease or other.

On the other hand, someone as useless as Leofwine could probably be made into a pawn of those who wish to hold the power themselves, and who are smart enough to realize that open rebellion really doesn't seem to be working all that well. A weak character and utter incompetence are ideal traits for a puppet-king.
Though as you say, Wulfhere could of course go completely crazy when he gets old, and actually start to believe that Leofwine is his ideal successor.
 
Eams: I don't know what his intrique was - the only shot I have of it is the one you see...it had to be abyssmal!

Murmurandus: I almost did. I came very, very close to clicking the button to back his scheme. At the last moment, I decided to see who the target was before financing a murder

Sokraates: I don't think so (he didn't have an Audun/Bengt sized plot since he was just kind of an extra courtier - this was his one shot at greatness)

As for who Wulfhere's successor will be: only time will tell!
 
1336-1338

Wulfhere “The Saxon” Haraldsson Crovan

King of All Norway of Sweden and of Denmark



Ruminations on the early years, 1336-1338





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You know, since Norway is by far the most stable nation in the whole world, I can see where all these German nobles might want a little order and safety after the last three centuries of chaos. Still, although they pay scutage,I have no other powerbase in the areas. I don’t know if this is a good idea, long term but...







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Who could resist all the groveling and ass-kissing that comes with free Nobles and Princes begging you to become their lord and master?

Apparently, not me.



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The Papal Nuncio popped in again this afternoon. Once more hit me up for guilt money. I told him I already gave at the office.

I still had to sit through another one of his endless “guest sermons.”





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The Count of Cheb has shown admirable courage, starting a fight with his Ducal overlord, that Duke’s best friend and, by extension, the whole Kingdom of Norway.

I admire his pluck, but he is obviously not good at math.






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Locking Leofwine in the closet every night has done nothing to cure his abject whininess and cowardice, so I have sent him off to live with the Lappland Patrol, guarding our strategic sleigh reserves. Either he will become a man or the Lapps will kill him. I don’t care which.






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And now that everyone has forgotten about Whats-His-Name, the dead guy, Cousin Asta is able to return to Viken Castle. This is her son Inge. God that my own children could be as impressive.

You can see having him around can only help.

That is why you do not automatically execute every murderer in the kingdom. Some of them have useful offspring.






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The Lord of Cheb was captured by my troops and drug before the Royal Presence.

I told the man, who stood tall and proud, in spite of several serious wounds, that while his courage was admirable, I had no choice but to execute him as a traitor. The priest asked for his name, to read the last rites.

The Count of Cheb replied, “I am Bo. Bo Crovan.”

I cancelled the execution and sent him back to his castle. I could not bring my self to take the lands or life of one with such a manly name.




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The unsettling German stampede continues with the Duke of Austria pledging undying loyalty.






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Now Balkan Lords are getting in on the act. I’ve gotten requests from as far away as Viken and Epiros to join my realm.

Something odd must be going on.







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Today a delegation of serfs and peasants requested a royal audience. They spent their whole audience complaining. I didn’t really pay attention, because I was distracted by their powerful odor, but I think I got the gist of it: they wanted some basic say in how their communities are run and perhaps some representatives of their class to meet with the royal council.

When the chief serf finished talking I responded, “what? Are you just noticing that this is an autocracy? Of course you don’t have any power. You are serfs now get back to harvesting before I have you flayed!”




So, this strange growth of the Crovan Empire continues with free-lords pledging fealty left and right? Is Wulfhere right? Do they want safety within the only nation to survive more than 100 years in tact? Has the whole world simply gone mad? Find our on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan!
 
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I smell problems in the air for sure... ;) :D
 
Bo, eh? Does he have a pet space-hamster named Minsc?
 
Bo knows rebellion, evidently. Will he also be appearing in a silly children's cartoon with Wayne Gretzky and Michael Jordan?
 
jordarkelf: I think you are right. I guess because Wulfhere is Saxon, the Germans will pledge him. I don't know why the Balkans started doing so-unless it was a shared border thing.

Murmurandus: Problems? In Crovan Norway? Why would you think such a thing?

Sokraates: Indeed, it is a shame he can't be King..he probably would have been one of the great ones.

Eams and General_BT: I can only assume you are both referring to the same cartoon...which I am old enough to have watched non-ironically as a youth!

Bo knew everything except lusterous blonde locks, which Cartoonwayne clearly had a lock on.
 
1339-1342

Wulfhere “The Saxon” Haraldsson Crovan

King of All Norway of Sweden, of Denmark and of Serbia



Ruminations on the middle years, 1339-1342





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I have continued to collect vassals from among the terrorized minor lords of the Continent. Since I rule directly over none of these lands, they continue to not matter to me very much at all.







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Except for the fact that enough Balkan Lords have pledged their loyalty that I can claim Kingship of Serbia. It will be nice to have a good, stable, quiet place like Serbia in my dominion to counter-balance the treacherous, violent, politically fragmented Scandinavian lands.





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My new title, situated as it is, very close to their homes, has started a new round of pledging. These are not quite as suspicious as the German pledges if only because Mighty Norway is the only possible force that could keep the Turks from overrunning the whole peninsula. Well, that and the fact that the Turks are strangely addicted to sea-borne invasions of England.





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There has been some speculation on why my effete son Thurcytel is heir to the Crovan thrones, to those people, I present my son Edric.

I have ordered the Royal Table-Setters to equip his forks with corks from now on.

Not that it matters anymore.






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With the addition of Bacs, my lower-Balkan Empire continues to swell. I am beginning to wonder if an Imperial Title is in the future.






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Now the Count of Hellas has pledged loyalty as well. The Crovan Empire stretches from the frozen lands of the Lapps to the toasty warm waters of the Mediterranean.

Even Half-Dan himself might stand in awe of my gains. Well, actually he probably wouldn’t, since I didn’t have to kill anyone to gain it all.






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Today a letter arrived from the frozen north. Apparently, Leofwine has become somewhat despondent, as any nine-year old exiled to the army in the frozen north and six months of night, might.

He was wondering if God was real. I wrote back telling him that God was real and that our happiness on Earth was directly related to if God loves us or not.

For example, I am King of a great swath of the planet, by virtue of the fact that Skule the Usurper’s line was brought to a premature and pitiable end, and that I am ruler of the single most powerful Empire in the World and my castle is toasty warm, so God loves me plenty.

I told him to look at his circumstances, in comparison to mine, and decide for himself if God loved him.





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Two of my German Vassals are about to learn a valuable lesson about declaring war without prior approval from me.

I hope they enjoy their new Italian overlords.






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Now it is time to reflect on my continental Empire. As you can see, except for Great Lithuania, Norway is the single largest power on the continent. Italy exists, but in such a scattered way as to be useless and Apuila somehow is holding on in the south.

The part that worries me is that, of everything here, only the bit of Denmark you see and Adrianopolis belong to the demesne.







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To celebrate my new Royal Title, I have fathered another son, Alfwold.

Yeah, I know. Not much to celebrate here.




Well, well. Have we discovered the cause of all these German Lords pledging the Norwegian throne? Were they merely hoping for Viking Steel to back up their own petty wars? Will Wulfhere’s refusal to help lead to a flood of German Lords attempting to de-pledge? Did anyone expect Wulfhere to be so peaceful? He really is the anti-Crovan! Join us next time when Wulfhere gets attacked by Ninjas on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan!
 
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At least Alfwold looks like a real Crovan... :D
 
It will be nice to have a good, stable, quiet place like Serbia in my dominion to counter-balance the treacherous, violent, politically fragmented Scandinavian lands.
:D

And yes, you're benefitting/suffering from the pledging bug... Germans pledge to you because you're a German, and once they have joined you pick up all the border counts as well. Before long you get every single christian not yet in a kingdom pledge-spamming you :/
 
Half-Dan would probably kill Wulfhere, if only because gaining new lands without killing someone is not possible. I dread to imagine, though, what will become of the empire once another child and/or heretic Crovan ascends to the throne (shouldn't it be "descends" in this case?).
 
Murmurandus: And this episode, we have proof of Wulfhere's Crovanness!

jordarkelf: The one thing I have found to stop pledging is to send your reputation into the toilet!

Sokraates: With that many vassals: utter chaos. Business as usual.
 
1342-1344

Wulfhere “The Saxon” Haraldsson Crovan

King of All Norway of Sweden, of Denmark and of Serbia



Ruminations on the middle years, 1342-1344





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This fellow has proven most untrustworthy and so, Sodermanland passes into the Royal Demesne.







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With typical Crovan Boldness, my cousin Arne and his 471 loyal followers have made a play for the throne.





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I can generally forgive these smaller family squabbles, but the Duke of Smaland? He is not one of us, so he can expect bad things in his future.





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So, having stormed his castle and put several thousand of his serfs to death, Arne and I have come to terms. Basically, I just let him go.

It’s my fault, really, I did set the precedent for forgiving preposterous family rebellions.






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Finnveden, on the other hand, gets stoutly pillaged, to teach the idiot Duke a real lesson.






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Today is off to a great start. The Duke of Jamtland sent some emissaries to praise me for being such a great King. Curiously, the Duke’s emissaries were dressed all in black, with hoods that revealed only their eyes. Plus, they kept calling me Wulfhere-san.

As they got closer and closer, bowing and praising as they went, something clicked.

NINJA ASSAULT!

I jumped for cover as ninja stars peppered the throne and my bodyguard swung into action.







Holy cow! A Ninja Attack! Will Wulfhere survive? What will become of Norway if he falls? And who sent…hey wait…




Hold up narrator! I’m not done yet!




Yes you are! This is the perfect time to break! Don’t you know anything about dramatic timing? Hey? Are you bleeding?





Damnit, yes! Because I’m arguing with you instead of fighting Ninjas! Now grab a sword and help or shut up!





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It was a close run thing, but I managed to defeat the Ninjas. They did get me pretty good though. As we rummaged through the pockets of the dead Ninjas, I found a clue.





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One of the Ninja’s was carrying three gold coins bearing the stamp of the Royal Mint of Azov.

On the face was the profile of my arch-enemy Voislav of Pskov. On the obverse was the stamp “Great Moments in Azov History: The Murder by Hired Ninjas of King Wulfhere of Norway.”

Well Voislav, it would seem you have counted your chickens before they hatched.

Wulfhere does not hire Ninjas (especially because such anachronisms are beneath him).

Wulfhere simply sends his spymaster.






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Voislav has learned a valuable lesson about tangling with Wulfhere the Saxon.







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I was in Adrianopolis Castle, awaiting word from the Spymaster when I noticed something sailing past. The Byzantion Fleet holding the entire army of the Shiek of Byzantion. He seems to be at war with Morocco and parts of Spain.

Constantinople seems to be undefended.

There seems to be a Crusade called to liberate Constantinople.

Do I dare?




Okay, so maybe this is an okay cliff-hanger as well, but come on? Is the author really such a hack that the 10-picture rule can’t be suspended for one lousy episode? Join us next time as exactly 10 things happen again on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan!
 
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Dare, dare!
Loved the ninjas!
 
Wulfhere "Ninjakiller" Crovan. Now that's a title one can be proud off.

Now go grab Constantinople and install one of your no-good offspring as ruler. Barbarians brought the Western Roman Empire down. It's time for other barbarians to bring the Eastern Roman Empire to its knees as well.
 
I hear that Constantinople is nice during this time of the year... Not to mention it is very empty of soldiers and such... :D
 
Now I have this image of the historian from Monty Python and the Holy Grail standing in front of the epic battle narrating.

Great stuff. Wulfhere's pretty quick on the uptake! First his half-brother's fiendish plot, now ninjas.

I'm going to be saddened when we see the last of the Crovans.