Hakon Skoftesson Crovan
King of Norway
Regency Dreams – Caitilin’s Reflections, 1181-1185
Hello. Ahem. Is this thing on? Sorry. It is not customary for a woman or a Regent to get to have these Reflections, so I wasn’t sure if it would work. Here is my dear son Hakon. Unlike his obstinate brother Harald, he was delighted to have me as his Regent.
As you can see, the Kings of Sweden are now being invaded by Spanish Moors. Skofte used to boast tediously about besting them in war. Really, I am glad he did not live to see this nonsense. It would have burst his bubble.
You know, I
do have a plan. Something you are probably not used to seeing, what with all of the morons who have risen to the throne around here. If women had any voice at all during this stupid time period, you would know that Gunnhild, my second daughter with Skofte, is my dearest friend in the world. We are more like sisters really. All of my minions comment on how we look more like sisters than a mother and daughter. Anyway, we are very, very close. If I could have, I would have made her Queen of Norway, but these back-woods Earls would never have allowed it. What I can do is use the might of Norway to create her a proper Kingdom.
I have chosen Scotland. There are many good reasons, but you are all probably too simple-minded to grasp them. Suffice to say, it is over-run with Muslims who have broken with their powerful supports in Spain and, thanks to Skofte’s horrid mother, we already own half of it.
I shall start with the Shiek of Berwick.
Our vassals start a series of wars which would normally get themselves destroyed, but this time the Norwegian Army is already en route, so all this does is make my job easier.
The Duke of Meath must know that changes are coming in Scotland. Once again, the timing is impeccable. He shall be destroyed in short order.
First Berwick falls.
I have been informed that it is customary to attempt to be “funny” during these internal monologues, so here goes:
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To stick an ice-pick between the ribs of a certain traitorous step-daughter.
Duchess of Strathclyde is a title which suits you dear Gunnhild.
But Queen of Scotland suits you more.
And look, I have achieved my goals. I only married a Crovan, I didn’t turn into one of the beastly hammock-dwellers.
Hakon! Barbarian Saracens are attacking your sister’s new Kingdom. Be a dear and send the Norwegian Army out to destroy them!
Caitilin achieves her dreams of placing her favorite daughter at the head of her own Kingdom. What took Ossor a lifetime to achieve, she achieves in one update! Well, she was always the active one. Join us next time as we find out what happens when Hakon reaches maturity on the next exciting episode of