+ Reply to Thread
Page 30 of 36 FirstFirst ... 5 20 28 29 30 31 32 ... LastLast
Results 581 to 600 of 715

Thread: The Adventures of the Crovan Clan

  1. #581
    Zealous Firebrand Snugglie's Avatar
    200k clubHoI AnthologyCrusader Kings IIDeus VultEU3 Complete
    Heir to the ThroneEuropa Universalis: Rome

    Join Date
    Sep 2007
    Location
    Glasgow
    Posts
    1,530
    This AAR cannot end until Bard has died the most epiuc death of them all.
    Stand up, all victims of oppression,
    For the tyrants fear your might!
    Don't cling so hard to your possessions,
    For you have nothing if you have no rights!
    Let racist ignorance be ended,
    For respect makes the empires fall!
    Freedom is merely privilege extended,
    Unless enjoyed by one and all.

  2. #582
    Cisár všetkých Slovákov demokratickid's Avatar
    Deus VultEuropa Universalis 3Hearts of Iron IIIVictoria 2Mount & Blade: Warband

    Join Date
    Aug 2007
    Location
    USA
    Posts
    3,651
    Blog Entries
    20
    Wow, I haven't checked on this in a while, and now its turned into a 30 page monster! Congrats on such a wonderfully funny story!
    Current AAR: Das Vereinigte Königreich von Mitteleuropa - Last Updated: October 19, 2011
    My illustrious Inkwell is right here for your enjoyment!
    AWARDED: Irish Shamrock Cookie by King_Richard_XI
    I'VE BEEN CANONIZED

  3. #583
    I am the Law Sokraates's Avatar
    HoI AnthologyHearts of Iron 2: Armageddon

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Not in Transylvania
    Posts
    1,177
    I second General_BT. Maybe Bard II won't do great things, but having someone from the "saint and crazy"-branch of the Crovan clan as king should give you plenty of opportunity for character humor. And that, after all, is what this AAR is all about.
    ReadAAR of the Mongol Week 30.10.2009 - 01.12.2009 in Thundergate's hilarious "The WRAITH of KHAN! All AARe mine!" (long week, wasn't it?)

    Paradoxian Idol - The Musical AAR that needs YOU!

    Under Jolly Tenno - A hymn to Remble's excellent AAR "The Setting Sun - Gotterdämmerung, Japan 1944"

  4. #584

  5. #585
    I am the Law Sokraates's Avatar
    HoI AnthologyHearts of Iron 2: Armageddon

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Not in Transylvania
    Posts
    1,177
    Ernie and Bert just told me, they weren't happy with my vote ... nor with the outcome.
    ReadAAR of the Mongol Week 30.10.2009 - 01.12.2009 in Thundergate's hilarious "The WRAITH of KHAN! All AARe mine!" (long week, wasn't it?)

    Paradoxian Idol - The Musical AAR that needs YOU!

    Under Jolly Tenno - A hymn to Remble's excellent AAR "The Setting Sun - Gotterdämmerung, Japan 1944"

  6. #586
    Off Again Alfred Packer's Avatar
    Hearts of Iron 2: ArmageddonCrusader Kings IIDeus VultEuropa Universalis 3Europa Universalis: Chronicles
    Divine WindFor the MotherlandHearts of Iron IIIHOI3: Their Finest HourHeir to the Throne
    Europa Universalis III: In NomineEU3 Napoleon's AmbitionVictoria: RevolutionsEuropa Universalis: RomeSemper Fi
    Victoria 2Victoria II: A House DividedVictoria II: Heart of DarknessRome: Vae VictisRise of Prussia
    500k clubEuropa Universalis IV: Pre-orderEUIV: Conquest of ParadiseCrusader Kings II: Legacy of RomeCrusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
    Crusader Kings II: The RepublicCrusader Kings II: The Old GodsCrusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Columbus, GA
    Posts
    2,212
    Blog Entries
    7

    1388-1392

    Bard II Torbjornsson Crovan

    King of Norway and of Serbia



    The Early Years, 1388-1392











    Of course, my first official act as King is to crush utterly the traitors of Euboia.

    I have been giving some serious thought as to how best replace the hated line of traitors and usurpers in the people’s memories with my own beloved line. Towards that end, I have scoured the archives, interviewed the noted historians and prelates, and interviewed the vile peasants to learn which of the monarchs they considered the “Greatest.”

    They came up with the following list:

    King Ossor because he took the Crovans from a Duchy to a Kingdom and was a famous Crusader.

    King Half-Dan because he conquered more kingdoms than anyone ever has.

    King Skule because he fathered more children than anyone else, ruled longer than anyone else, and also because he had totally sweet hair.

    Now then, I shall make it my goal to surpass them in every way, thus proving forever that the Line of Saint Aslak houses the Purest and Greatest Crovan Blood.

    Okay, lets see…My hair is totally sweet.

    Check!










    There won’t be any more dirty Saxon Crovans.











    As I look about my new dominions, I cannot help but to notice these lands have passed to the Duke of Finland!











    I will spare you the gory details and expensive trips taken by my army. Suffice to say, I am working on item 3 on my list.

    And also, if you will note, even the very stylish French Duke of Finland has copied my hip coif.











    Ha! Excellent! And I have a son. Only 13 more of these things and I have bested Skule again!











    You know what would make a Crusader more famous than Crusading against Christian Norway?

    Crusading against Saracen Rome!











    And now the Muslims will learn a hard lesson on why the “Widely Scattered and Politically Distinct” method of province-ownership is flawed.










    2 down, 12 to go. Skule, your memory will fade in no time.












    What is cool is that I was going to conquer this place no matter what, but since they are vile Muslims, it gets to count towards my Half-Dan and my Ossor tallies.












    And we have a toe-hold in the holy-land.






    So King Bard II has set his sights on out-Crovaning the Crovans! Will he pull off this goal? Will he be the greatest Crovan Ruler ever? Or will he surpass certain other Crovans who are better left forgotten? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan!

    Bard II Goals play-at-home checklist!
    Things to surpass:

    1 - Going from Duke to King
    2 - Famous Crusader
    3 - Out-conquer King Half-Dan
    4 - Father 14 Kids
    5 - Rule longer than 59 Years
    6 - Sweet Hair – complete Episode 116

  7. #587
    I am the Law Sokraates's Avatar
    HoI AnthologyHearts of Iron 2: Armageddon

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Not in Transylvania
    Posts
    1,177
    St. Aslak's lood runs true in Bard II. It's been a long time since we've seen a nut accumulate so many mental problems. Considering that haircut handsome is already enough to put St. Aslak's assorted mental illnesses to shame. Though out-fathering Skule sounds like fun.

    I think I speak for all of your readers when I express my eternal gratitude for you to continue this AAR. Bard II is certainly a character we wouldn't want to miss.
    ReadAAR of the Mongol Week 30.10.2009 - 01.12.2009 in Thundergate's hilarious "The WRAITH of KHAN! All AARe mine!" (long week, wasn't it?)

    Paradoxian Idol - The Musical AAR that needs YOU!

    Under Jolly Tenno - A hymn to Remble's excellent AAR "The Setting Sun - Gotterdämmerung, Japan 1944"

  8. #588
    Detective Lt., Police Squad Eams's Avatar
    Arsenal of DemocracyDarkest HourEU3 CompleteHearts of Iron IIISemper Fi

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Gothenburg, Sweden
    Posts
    1,321
    I wonder, should the new baby-machine die, will Bard flood Europe's courts with preposals in the hopes of getting two acceptances in one day? Doubling the amount of mother's is a good way of breaking that record, after all.
    "Taking over the world with the USSR isn't a mission... it's just a passtime." -blue emu

    o=||==Official=Poet=Lauerate=of=Suenik==||=o

    Proud recipient of one phargle-O==|======-

  9. #589
    Game Over Man! Count Lake's Avatar
    Crusader Kings IIDeus VultDivine WindFor the MotherlandEuropa Universalis III: In Nomine
    Lead and GoldMagickaEU3 Napoleon's AmbitionPenumbra - Black PlagueVictoria: Revolutions
    Europa Universalis: RomeSemper FiRome: Vae VictisMount & Blade: WarbandWar of the Roses
    CK2: Holy KnightEU3 Collectors Edition500k clubEuropa Universalis IV: Pre-order

    Join Date
    Jul 2007
    Location
    Columbus, Ohio
    Posts
    733
    All I can say is great job, I love your style and humor. Keep it up!

  10. #590
    Tzar of all the Soviets RGB's Avatar
    Hearts of Iron 2: ArmageddonCrusader Kings IIDeus VultEast India CompanyEuropa Universalis 3
    Hearts of Iron IIIEuropa Universalis III: In NomineEU3 Napoleon's AmbitionVictoria: RevolutionsEuropa Universalis: Rome
    Victoria 2Rome: Vae VictisMount & Blade: With Fire and Sword

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Between Kwikwetlem and Qayqayt
    Posts
    5,575
    Blog Entries
    2
    14 kids!

    He'd best get real busy.
    The Russia Megacampaign - See my other work at my Inkwell

    A YeAAR's Education - Rurikovich in Crusader Kings 1066-1393

    From Rus to Russia - Kiev in EU3 1393-1836 - Get the Loading Screen Pack - Weekly Showcased AAR, 6/6/09 and 7/7/10 - WritAAr of the Week, 27/7/10 - Ambitions are denied and tasks appointed - Check out the first installment of the Medieval Atlas!

    Duke of Bonbon, and also Chevalier Grand Croix of the Ordre Militaire du Saint Christophe.

  11. #591
    Off Again Alfred Packer's Avatar
    Hearts of Iron 2: ArmageddonCrusader Kings IIDeus VultEuropa Universalis 3Europa Universalis: Chronicles
    Divine WindFor the MotherlandHearts of Iron IIIHOI3: Their Finest HourHeir to the Throne
    Europa Universalis III: In NomineEU3 Napoleon's AmbitionVictoria: RevolutionsEuropa Universalis: RomeSemper Fi
    Victoria 2Victoria II: A House DividedVictoria II: Heart of DarknessRome: Vae VictisRise of Prussia
    500k clubEuropa Universalis IV: Pre-orderEUIV: Conquest of ParadiseCrusader Kings II: Legacy of RomeCrusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
    Crusader Kings II: The RepublicCrusader Kings II: The Old GodsCrusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Columbus, GA
    Posts
    2,212
    Blog Entries
    7
    Sokraates: Thanks! And thank you, after all, if it hadn't been for the postive support and comments from readers, I doubt the Crovans would have made it this far!

    Eams: I didn't know it was possible to get a harem! Oh won't Bard II be disappointed to hear he missed out!

    Count Lake: Thanks! And thank you for reading

    RGB: It's the number one priority

  12. #592
    Off Again Alfred Packer's Avatar
    Hearts of Iron 2: ArmageddonCrusader Kings IIDeus VultEuropa Universalis 3Europa Universalis: Chronicles
    Divine WindFor the MotherlandHearts of Iron IIIHOI3: Their Finest HourHeir to the Throne
    Europa Universalis III: In NomineEU3 Napoleon's AmbitionVictoria: RevolutionsEuropa Universalis: RomeSemper Fi
    Victoria 2Victoria II: A House DividedVictoria II: Heart of DarknessRome: Vae VictisRise of Prussia
    500k clubEuropa Universalis IV: Pre-orderEUIV: Conquest of ParadiseCrusader Kings II: Legacy of RomeCrusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
    Crusader Kings II: The RepublicCrusader Kings II: The Old GodsCrusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Columbus, GA
    Posts
    2,212
    Blog Entries
    7

    1392-1393

    Bard II Torbjornsson Crovan

    King of Norway and of Serbia



    The Early Years, 1392-1393









    I have produced 3 of these things now…only 11 more to go…ever closer.











    Ha! And the Saracens surrender Rome itself to my Crusading Armies…and also pay me a moderate stipend.











    Well, well Saracens…it would seem another Crusade is in the making! Ossor will be kicked to the curb soon enough!











    One of my progeny has caught some sort of illness. I have, accordingly, ordered him sent to another portion of the Palace. Great things are in the offing and do not need my sleep disturbed by its incessant coughing.











    At first, I was very disheartened. I mean, I was thinking, “hey, now I have to have 12 more,” but then I remembered that not all of Skule’s children survived into adulthood either.

    What a relief!











    I have made the oldest child the Count of Rome. He should have great fun ordering about the locals.











    On the war front, as if you care, we are adding slowly to our Asian Dominions.










    Only ten away! Goal number 4 is by far the most enjoyable to work towards.












    And now, more Muslims have piled into the war, which is great. The generals say we are conquering them like crazy.












    Only 9 more to go! We are running out of Royal Nannies. I sent word to the Pope that I liberated Rome a couple of years ago, but I guess the messenger got lost or something.






    Well, the man – and his wife – are quite the rabbits! Bard is well on his way to surpassing another Crovan. Will he make it? Find out which on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan!

    Bard II Goals play-at-home checklist!
    Things to surpass:

    1 - Going from Duke to King
    2 - Famous Crusader – getting close!
    3 - Out-conquer King Half-Dan
    4 - Father 14 Kids – currently tally: 5 born (4 still living)
    5 - Rule longer than 59 Years
    6 - Sweet Hair – complete Episode 116

  13. #593
    Detective Lt., Police Squad Eams's Avatar
    Arsenal of DemocracyDarkest HourEU3 CompleteHearts of Iron IIISemper Fi

    Join Date
    May 2006
    Location
    Gothenburg, Sweden
    Posts
    1,321
    Alfred Packer:
    "Eams: I didn't know it was possible to get a harem! Oh won't Bard II be disappointed to hear he missed out!"

    Yep, I flooded the courts of Europe with marriage proposals once and got two positive replies at the same time by chance. Experimenting with the byzantine-cheat, I've managed to acquire three loving wives for my king. Will bastards count against Bard's goal of 14 kids?
    Excellent update, as always, will you try to coerce the christan lords of Anatolia and Syria to join the kingdom of South Norway?
    "Taking over the world with the USSR isn't a mission... it's just a passtime." -blue emu

    o=||==Official=Poet=Lauerate=of=Suenik==||=o

    Proud recipient of one phargle-O==|======-

  14. #594
    I am the Law Sokraates's Avatar
    HoI AnthologyHearts of Iron 2: Armageddon

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Not in Transylvania
    Posts
    1,177
    Quote Originally Posted by Alfred Packer
    Only ten away! Goal number 4 is by far the most enjoyable to work towards.
    As long as you don't have to pay child support, that is.

    Go Crovans,GO!

    Oh, by the way: hasn't goal number 1 been reached already? Bard II was Duke before he became king, wasn't he? (I admit, I'm too lazy to look it up)
    ReadAAR of the Mongol Week 30.10.2009 - 01.12.2009 in Thundergate's hilarious "The WRAITH of KHAN! All AARe mine!" (long week, wasn't it?)

    Paradoxian Idol - The Musical AAR that needs YOU!

    Under Jolly Tenno - A hymn to Remble's excellent AAR "The Setting Sun - Gotterdämmerung, Japan 1944"

  15. #595
    Corporal jaddboy's Avatar
    Crusader Kings IIDivine WindHeir to the ThroneMagickaVictoria 2
    Victoria II: A House Divided

    Join Date
    Oct 2003
    Location
    Minnesota
    Posts
    44
    This definitely ranks as one of the most enjoyable AARs I've ever read.

    From a Saint driving away all the evil amphibians to Caps in your Ass to a King with a speech impediment it's been tears in my eyes!

    Thanks very much!
    Before me there were no created things,
    Only eterne, and I eternal last.
    All hope abandon, ye who enter in!

    - Inferno, Dante Alighieri

  16. #596
    Tzar of all the Soviets RGB's Avatar
    Hearts of Iron 2: ArmageddonCrusader Kings IIDeus VultEast India CompanyEuropa Universalis 3
    Hearts of Iron IIIEuropa Universalis III: In NomineEU3 Napoleon's AmbitionVictoria: RevolutionsEuropa Universalis: Rome
    Victoria 2Rome: Vae VictisMount & Blade: With Fire and Sword

    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Between Kwikwetlem and Qayqayt
    Posts
    5,575
    Blog Entries
    2
    Conquering like crazy. Sounds like fun.
    The Russia Megacampaign - See my other work at my Inkwell

    A YeAAR's Education - Rurikovich in Crusader Kings 1066-1393

    From Rus to Russia - Kiev in EU3 1393-1836 - Get the Loading Screen Pack - Weekly Showcased AAR, 6/6/09 and 7/7/10 - WritAAr of the Week, 27/7/10 - Ambitions are denied and tasks appointed - Check out the first installment of the Medieval Atlas!

    Duke of Bonbon, and also Chevalier Grand Croix of the Ordre Militaire du Saint Christophe.

  17. #597
    Crusader for Fun and Profit Murmurandus's Avatar
    200k clubCities in MotionCrusader Kings IIDeus VultEuropa Universalis 3
    EU3 CompleteDivine WindFor the MotherlandHearts of Iron IIIHOI3: Their Finest Hour
    Heir to the ThroneMarch of the EaglesNaval War: Arctic CircleRome GoldSemper Fi
    SengokuSword of the StarsVictoria 2Mount & Blade: Warband500k club
    Europa Universalis IV

    Join Date
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Meerhout, Flanders, Belgium - Born in Brugge;)
    Posts
    5,745
    Blog Entries
    7
    Great! The Greatest of the Great Crovans already created five Great Greatlings! Just great!
    "May the Earth tremble with Beer... euh, Fear"

    "Never change a winning avatar..."

    "Si hoc legere scis, nimium eruditionis habes."

    Ubisoft EUII 1.09 ~ Strategy First Victoria 1.04 ~ Paradox CK Deus Vult ~ Paradox HoI2 Doomsday ~ Paradox EUIII Complete ~ Paradox EU: Rome Gold

    Currently being a loser in Hattrick as FC MMDS (316966) as you could read here .

  18. #598
    Off Again Alfred Packer's Avatar
    Hearts of Iron 2: ArmageddonCrusader Kings IIDeus VultEuropa Universalis 3Europa Universalis: Chronicles
    Divine WindFor the MotherlandHearts of Iron IIIHOI3: Their Finest HourHeir to the Throne
    Europa Universalis III: In NomineEU3 Napoleon's AmbitionVictoria: RevolutionsEuropa Universalis: RomeSemper Fi
    Victoria 2Victoria II: A House DividedVictoria II: Heart of DarknessRome: Vae VictisRise of Prussia
    500k clubEuropa Universalis IV: Pre-orderEUIV: Conquest of ParadiseCrusader Kings II: Legacy of RomeCrusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
    Crusader Kings II: The RepublicCrusader Kings II: The Old GodsCrusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Columbus, GA
    Posts
    2,212
    Blog Entries
    7
    Gah! So many replies! This weeks lesson: 3 AARs is more than Alfred Packer can handle at once. Luckily, one of the 3 is about to end...it isn't this one though.

    Eams: Bastards are totally legal, since most of Skule's were bastards.

    Sokraates: no, his dad lost the Duchy...he went from obscure Spymaster in some Count's court to master of the Crovan Empire...a pretty good jump, I admit...but Bard II has loftier ambitions!

    jaddboy: thank you very much, I'm glad you have enjoyed it. The gang-banging royal sibling storyline was always one of my favorites.

    RGB: I got into two conquering-fests during this game, Bard II's was like Half-Dans, but with the Constantinople Regiment and a player oblivious to debt

    Murmurandus: Great! Your back!

  19. #599
    Off Again Alfred Packer's Avatar
    Hearts of Iron 2: ArmageddonCrusader Kings IIDeus VultEuropa Universalis 3Europa Universalis: Chronicles
    Divine WindFor the MotherlandHearts of Iron IIIHOI3: Their Finest HourHeir to the Throne
    Europa Universalis III: In NomineEU3 Napoleon's AmbitionVictoria: RevolutionsEuropa Universalis: RomeSemper Fi
    Victoria 2Victoria II: A House DividedVictoria II: Heart of DarknessRome: Vae VictisRise of Prussia
    500k clubEuropa Universalis IV: Pre-orderEUIV: Conquest of ParadiseCrusader Kings II: Legacy of RomeCrusader Kings II: Sword of Islam
    Crusader Kings II: The RepublicCrusader Kings II: The Old GodsCrusader Kings II: Sons of Abraham

    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    Location
    Columbus, GA
    Posts
    2,212
    Blog Entries
    7

    1394-1398

    Bard II Torbjornsson Crovan

    King of Norway and of Serbia



    The Early Years, 1394-1398









    I have produced a sixth child. Only 8 more…the missus is getting weary, but then, she never really understood the importance of all of this.











    These little independent sheikdoms are really making the whole “out-conquer Half-Dan” plan quite easy.











    See what I mean?











    The new one died. Hmm…I wonder which Crovan had the most offspring die in childhood?











    Seven to go! Damn the chaffing, back to the Royal Bed!











    Quickly Horatio! Bring me another wife.

    Oh, and another Spymistress.

    God, I love that play.











    My idiot son Skule has just given away his County to the Pope. He asked for nothing in return.

    Fortunately, as I just remarried, I have something to take my mind off my son’s stupidity.










    Maybe the conquest of Sparta will help sooth my anger towards Skule the Simple.












    Their overlord, the Kings of Egypt have declared war on me, which frankly suits my goals admirably.












    A Dirty Swede has inherited Adana, removing it from my domain. De Monfort! I will get you for this!






    Bard II has already worn out one wife in pursuit of his goals, how will the second fare? What about his idiot son? What about these latest wars? Find out on the next exciting episode of The Adventures of the Crovan Clan!

    Bard II Goals play-at-home checklist!
    Things to surpass:

    1 - Going from Duke to King - Gone from Spymaster to King...but wants one more step
    2 - Famous Crusader – getting close!
    3 - Out-conquer King Half-Dan
    4 - Father 14 Kids – currently tally: 7 born (4 still living)
    5 - Rule longer than 59 Years
    6 - Sweet Hair – complete Episode 116

  20. #600
    I am the Law Sokraates's Avatar
    HoI AnthologyHearts of Iron 2: Armageddon

    Join Date
    Dec 2006
    Location
    Not in Transylvania
    Posts
    1,177
    Bards does it again ...

    ... and quotes THE Bard when his wife prefers suicide to giving birth to another misbegotten son of Bard (thank God she didn't live to witness Skule's stupidity).

    I absolutely, positively like this guy.

    Regarding goal No. 1: Going from nothing/spymaster to king beats going from duke to king in my book. So I'd say that goal is not only accomplished but also a new record is established.

    Hail king Bard!
    ReadAAR of the Mongol Week 30.10.2009 - 01.12.2009 in Thundergate's hilarious "The WRAITH of KHAN! All AARe mine!" (long week, wasn't it?)

    Paradoxian Idol - The Musical AAR that needs YOU!

    Under Jolly Tenno - A hymn to Remble's excellent AAR "The Setting Sun - Gotterdämmerung, Japan 1944"

+ Reply to Thread
Page 30 of 36 FirstFirst ... 5 20 28 29 30 31 32 ... LastLast

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts