Half-Dan “the Man” Gunnarsson Crovan
King of All Norway of Sweden of Denmark of England and of Scotland, The Terror of the Moors, the Pocket Monarch (not said to his face)
Ruminations on the later years, 1252-1256
Two more lesser men pledge their loyalty to Half-Dan the Man. At the same time, the clergy of the realm sent a messenger offering to help out with the Crusade. They wanted to raise up some armies and lead them in person.
The thought of spending my whole Crusade in the presence of those damn clerics appalled me, so I just took the money they’d raised for the venture and wished them good day.
Would you care to guess which Muslim English power will be the next to taste my wrath?
The Count of Nyland rebelled against his overlord, the Duke of Finland today. Ha! The tables truly have turned. Now it is the great vassals who’ve plagued my family for generations tasting the joys of violent rebellion. I offered to help, but I didn’t mean it. If you can’t keep the Nylandese at bay, you don’t deserve your Duchy.
I’ve considered this for a while. To date, I’ve mostly avoided wars with the greater Spanish powers dominating the British Isles. But if the Moors are truly to fear Half-Dan the Man, they will need to be crushed one and all. My first target will be the Emir of Toledo. His time in England is officially numbered.
The Emir of Mosul did send an army to try and retake Devon, sending an expedition of 5,000 men into England. Ha! That may have been good enough to stomp the life out of a Norman Kingdom, but now you are facing Half-Dan the Man and his Viking Hordes!
They were crushed in short order.
The coffers were somewhat depleted, so this time I was okay with a little dirty Merchant-Money. I did accept it with bad grace, though.
I received a messenger who declared that Vestisland had been recovered for the crown. This somewhat surprised me, because I didn’t remember them not being part of the crown. I know that Earl Yaropolk was in charge there, and according to the messengers, he has surrendered outright, which, you know, hey great.
The funny part is, I don’t remember doing anything here. Was Yaropolk and independent Earl who I just invaded? Was he a rebellious vassal? I don’t know. I don’t even know who I sent to capture the place or when I sent them!
Maybe Half-Dan the Man should stick to heroic conquests and leave the multi-tasking to lesser monarchs.
Now I do remember sending troops to Nyland, since the Duke of Finland has proved himself totally inept at dealing with his vassals, I finally had to step in. I gave the county back to him, a decision I’m sure I’ll regret. Still, I sure didn’t need to bother with it, since I had a much bigger fish to fry.
And that fish would be the Kingdom of Scotland, officially recovered for the Crovan family.
The really sad part is, that for all these great conquests on this Crusade, at some point in the past one of my idiot ancestors had already owned about half the land I am seizing.
The Earl of Moray decided that it would be much better to serve King Half-Dan the Man as a powerful vassal rather than as a blighted pig-farmer. I salute that sort of foresight.
And the conquests continue! Now Scotland is added to the realm! Mosul has been taught a lesson, will Toledo be next or is Half-Dan going a Moor To Far? Find out in the next action packed (if you ignore the fact that we’re skipping all the action filled battles) and exciting episode of