Bard II Torbjornsson Crovan
King of Norway and of Serbia
The Early Years, 1388-1392
Of course, my first official act as King is to crush utterly the traitors of Euboia.
I have been giving some serious thought as to how best replace the hated line of traitors and usurpers in the people’s memories with my own beloved line. Towards that end, I have scoured the archives, interviewed the noted historians and prelates, and interviewed the vile peasants to learn which of the monarchs they considered the “Greatest.”
They came up with the following list:
King Ossor because he took the Crovans from a Duchy to a Kingdom and was a famous Crusader.
King Half-Dan because he conquered more kingdoms than anyone ever has.
King Skule because he fathered more children than anyone else, ruled longer than anyone else, and also because he had totally sweet hair.
Now then, I shall make it my goal to surpass them in every way, thus proving forever that the Line of Saint Aslak houses the Purest and Greatest Crovan Blood.
Okay, lets see…My hair is totally sweet.
Check!
There won’t be any more dirty Saxon Crovans.
As I look about my new dominions, I cannot help but to notice these lands have passed to the Duke of Finland!
I will spare you the gory details and expensive trips taken by my army. Suffice to say, I am working on item 3 on my list.
And also, if you will note, even the very stylish French Duke of Finland has copied my hip coif.
Ha! Excellent! And I have a son. Only 13 more of these things and I have bested Skule again!
You know what would make a Crusader more famous than Crusading against Christian Norway?
Crusading against Saracen Rome!
And now the Muslims will learn a hard lesson on why the “Widely Scattered and Politically Distinct” method of province-ownership is flawed.
2 down, 12 to go. Skule, your memory will fade in no time.
What is cool is that I was going to conquer this place no matter what, but since they are vile Muslims, it gets to count towards my Half-Dan and my Ossor tallies.
And we have a toe-hold in the holy-land.
So King Bard II has set his sights on out-Crovaning the Crovans! Will he pull off this goal? Will he be the greatest Crovan Ruler ever? Or will he surpass certain other Crovans who are better left forgotten? Find out on the next exciting episode of