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For some reason , now I'm imagining old school goldeneye with the throwing knives . ROFL
canonized said:
:rofl: Yep...were I to use them the referee would be right to not recognize a kill with them! Most frustrating weapon to use (at least for me anyway
)...I much preferred the sniper rifle butt. It was so much cooler running around beating my friends over the head with it while they frantically tried to shoot me! That bit of nostalgia aside...cool war game update. Looks like artillery is still ascendant over light tanks. Get to work on the T-34 designs ASAP! You must be on your guard against the desperate capitalist dog-running lackeys!
Good luck!
TheExecuter
canonized: actually, yes they did. every nation performed war games to some extent, and the Soviet Union was able to put on complex field exercises that even included paratroopers
stnylan: indeed, for professional soldiers any time is no doubt all too soon
Edzako: actually, they did. in 1939 they were crippled by the purges that had killed off their theoreticians, and thus Soviet doctrine stagnated and even regressed. however, in the theoretical golden age (as it were) of Tukhchevskij, they did put on war games including many, as I already mentioned, that involved paratroopers (as the Soviet Union were the pioneers when it came to airborne forces). for more information (which has a focus on the airborne element) I'll refer anyone who's interested to Glantz's The Soviet Airborne Experience (a large pdf, expect a long load time), which includes two chapters on the theoretical basis and training of the Soviet airborne units. The Soviets had put on many field exercises to determine precisely how useful airborne troops could be, and sometimes even had Western observers (including one Major General Archibald Wavell, who was reasonably impressed with what he saw). generally, the bad image the Soviet forces get is because of the 1941 campaign and, to a lesser extent, the '39-'40 Winter War. yet this was the Soviet army at its worst, when its leaders didn't have the experience required to coordinate the massive forces they had at their disposal. once such leaders appeared--Zhukov, Vasilevskij and Rokossovsky, to name three--they were able to successfully implement the Soviet Union's complex doctrine of Deep Operations to deadly effect.
rcduggan: thanks! and shhhh...
General Jac: I don't know what you mean
but thanks!
canonized: haha, though I've neer played Goldeneye...
TheExecuter: yup, armored, motorized and mechanized divisions must certainly play their part against the Germans! in fact, originally these soldiers from were the 1st Tankovaya Divizija but because that didn't see enough combat I ended up switching them through two or three more units before finally setting on the 205.
and since today is comment day, update will be tomorrow
stnylan: indeed, for professional soldiers any time is no doubt all too soon
Edzako: actually, they did. in 1939 they were crippled by the purges that had killed off their theoreticians, and thus Soviet doctrine stagnated and even regressed. however, in the theoretical golden age (as it were) of Tukhchevskij, they did put on war games including many, as I already mentioned, that involved paratroopers (as the Soviet Union were the pioneers when it came to airborne forces). for more information (which has a focus on the airborne element) I'll refer anyone who's interested to Glantz's The Soviet Airborne Experience (a large pdf, expect a long load time), which includes two chapters on the theoretical basis and training of the Soviet airborne units. The Soviets had put on many field exercises to determine precisely how useful airborne troops could be, and sometimes even had Western observers (including one Major General Archibald Wavell, who was reasonably impressed with what he saw). generally, the bad image the Soviet forces get is because of the 1941 campaign and, to a lesser extent, the '39-'40 Winter War. yet this was the Soviet army at its worst, when its leaders didn't have the experience required to coordinate the massive forces they had at their disposal. once such leaders appeared--Zhukov, Vasilevskij and Rokossovsky, to name three--they were able to successfully implement the Soviet Union's complex doctrine of Deep Operations to deadly effect.
rcduggan: thanks! and shhhh...
General Jac: I don't know what you mean
canonized: haha, though I've neer played Goldeneye...
TheExecuter: yup, armored, motorized and mechanized divisions must certainly play their part against the Germans! in fact, originally these soldiers from were the 1st Tankovaya Divizija but because that didn't see enough combat I ended up switching them through two or three more units before finally setting on the 205.
and since today is comment day, update will be tomorrow
Riga, Latvia
August 7, 2007
Pack up the laptop, pack up the laptop. The awful worthless laptop with its dead screen. A dead screen yes, the backlight inverter thingiewhatsit was shot, but actually hardly worthless. It was, after all, to be the host machine. Still awful though, two weeks before the hard drive had died. A terrible loss, one would think, but the damn thing resurrected itself an hour later with virtually no data loss. Suffice to say, I hate the laptop. It was going to host our one and only Hearts of Iron 2: Doomsday Armageddon Myth LAN game this summer. Quite the honor bestowed upon such a loathsome trouble-making piece of shit. I hate the thing, really.
Nevertheless, within a couple minutes I was ready to go; the laptop was packed away, as were its attendant cables and cords. Mobile phone in my pocket, keys in another and money in yet another. And so I go, out the door and into the stairwell, the wonderful stairwell with its distinctive stink. Down four flights and I'm outside in the bright sun, around the corner and I'm already looking ahead toward the church. Cutting across the street, my stride devours the sidewalk. In a few minutes I'm walking across a park, a towering hotel behind me. I'm walking across a plaza in front of the Congress Hall, where so recently (just the end of the previous week, in fact) I had worked for the Latvian Ministry of Defense during the NATO Reservist CIOR-CIOMR-NRFC 2007 Summer Congress. I'm across the canal, crossing the last tram lines and then I'm there. I ring Discomb's doorbell and am let inside the building.
Discomb lives on the top floor. Damn him.
I begin trudging up; I don't trust the elevator. It's from the Soviet era after all, and that's probably the last time it's had a safety check as well. By the time I get to the second floor, Discomb's actually gotten up off of his lazy ass and has crossed the entirety of his apartment to open the door for me. I finally finish my great trek and enter his abode, closing the door behind me and taking off my shoes, to see him chilling on the couch, the bastard. Half an hour after I packed the laptop up, give or take a few minutes, I unpack it again. And set it up, something I did not have to undo back home as there was no point to keeping it set up there as it was useless without a screen. But here, in Discomb's apartment, I have a screen! And all it did was add another two wires for me to worry about; more, actually, as I had to bring a keyboard along too.
My laptop, having been set up.
After buying vital LAN supplies such as coke, chips and chocolate we're ready to begin. I take the Soviet Union, Discomb takes Germany and his brother takes England. We shout our war cries at each other just before I start the game; the war cries weren't terribly memorable this time, as I can't remember them. Therefore, I will simply plagiarize war cries of ours from long long ago as they are much more memorable.
Me probably typing my war cry, too bad I don't remember what it was.
Finally, we get down to the dirty business of our traditional beginning game pause so that we can sort everything out. We were all almost done, I had just declared war on Turkey, when suddenly disaster strikes!
Being a kind soul, I allow us to restart. Yes, those are our real names. Anton is Discomb. I am me. Pavel is...well, let's not go there, shall we?
Thus, we commence with the traditional beginning game pause again, and sort everything out again. This time, Pavel does everything right. Or, as right as he can possibly do things, meaning at least he didn't mess up. I assign a billion and a half or so leaders to where they should be, it is all on a piece of paper—I had it all figured out. Germany declares war on Denmark. Damn him, that was part of my strategic deception plot to make him spread out his forces for when war comes. I declare war on Turkey.
Turkey shall fall!
The game has begun!
August 7, 2007
Pack up the laptop, pack up the laptop. The awful worthless laptop with its dead screen. A dead screen yes, the backlight inverter thingiewhatsit was shot, but actually hardly worthless. It was, after all, to be the host machine. Still awful though, two weeks before the hard drive had died. A terrible loss, one would think, but the damn thing resurrected itself an hour later with virtually no data loss. Suffice to say, I hate the laptop. It was going to host our one and only Hearts of Iron 2: Doomsday Armageddon Myth LAN game this summer. Quite the honor bestowed upon such a loathsome trouble-making piece of shit. I hate the thing, really.
Nevertheless, within a couple minutes I was ready to go; the laptop was packed away, as were its attendant cables and cords. Mobile phone in my pocket, keys in another and money in yet another. And so I go, out the door and into the stairwell, the wonderful stairwell with its distinctive stink. Down four flights and I'm outside in the bright sun, around the corner and I'm already looking ahead toward the church. Cutting across the street, my stride devours the sidewalk. In a few minutes I'm walking across a park, a towering hotel behind me. I'm walking across a plaza in front of the Congress Hall, where so recently (just the end of the previous week, in fact) I had worked for the Latvian Ministry of Defense during the NATO Reservist CIOR-CIOMR-NRFC 2007 Summer Congress. I'm across the canal, crossing the last tram lines and then I'm there. I ring Discomb's doorbell and am let inside the building.
Discomb lives on the top floor. Damn him.
I begin trudging up; I don't trust the elevator. It's from the Soviet era after all, and that's probably the last time it's had a safety check as well. By the time I get to the second floor, Discomb's actually gotten up off of his lazy ass and has crossed the entirety of his apartment to open the door for me. I finally finish my great trek and enter his abode, closing the door behind me and taking off my shoes, to see him chilling on the couch, the bastard. Half an hour after I packed the laptop up, give or take a few minutes, I unpack it again. And set it up, something I did not have to undo back home as there was no point to keeping it set up there as it was useless without a screen. But here, in Discomb's apartment, I have a screen! And all it did was add another two wires for me to worry about; more, actually, as I had to bring a keyboard along too.
My laptop, having been set up.
After buying vital LAN supplies such as coke, chips and chocolate we're ready to begin. I take the Soviet Union, Discomb takes Germany and his brother takes England. We shout our war cries at each other just before I start the game; the war cries weren't terribly memorable this time, as I can't remember them. Therefore, I will simply plagiarize war cries of ours from long long ago as they are much more memorable.
Me probably typing my war cry, too bad I don't remember what it was.
Finally, we get down to the dirty business of our traditional beginning game pause so that we can sort everything out. We were all almost done, I had just declared war on Turkey, when suddenly disaster strikes!
Being a kind soul, I allow us to restart. Yes, those are our real names. Anton is Discomb. I am me. Pavel is...well, let's not go there, shall we?
Thus, we commence with the traditional beginning game pause again, and sort everything out again. This time, Pavel does everything right. Or, as right as he can possibly do things, meaning at least he didn't mess up. I assign a billion and a half or so leaders to where they should be, it is all on a piece of paper—I had it all figured out. Germany declares war on Denmark. Damn him, that was part of my strategic deception plot to make him spread out his forces for when war comes. I declare war on Turkey.
Turkey shall fall!
The game has begun!
Seems like a classic geek-party to me . Not that I should know though, as I've never been to a LAN-game this small .
. Not that I should know though, as I've never been to a LAN-game this small .
wow, you can make going to someone's house and setting up an LAN seem exciting :rofl:
but pavel deleting his entire army? ahahahhah
but pavel deleting his entire army? ahahahhah
Haha talk about a completely innovative new update . Wow , and we get to see a rather bewildered looking Mr. Myth . A handsome fellow to be sure XD XD . Turkey's goose is going to be cooked it seems .
Heh new update only game is different - Myth private life or something btw I every day cross congress hall plaza on my way to university.
btw I every day cross congress hall plaza on my way to university.
Ah...lan games...and munchies...gotta have munchies!
Good luck! (meant to refer to the game as though it were happening in real time...though I know it has already been played...hows that for bending space time?!)
TheExecuter
Good luck! (meant to refer to the game as though it were happening in real time...though I know it has already been played...hows that for bending space time?!)
TheExecuter
General Jac: yup, it is, pretty much
rcduggan: yeah...I think Discomb will have a few words to say about him later on in the game...
Discomb: you. suck.
stnylan: ...the carnage finally begins (or, well, almost)
canonized: hopefully, yeah...
Edzako: hey, this is the AAR of the LAN, which includes the (kind of minute) social aspect as well
TheExecuter: yeah, and its a bit awkward for us too, as how do we respond to all the "good luck!"s? "err...yeah, uhhm...y'see..."?
so, to follow yesterday's tongue in cheek update, tomorrow Discomb should be providing us with an update of his own. he's not told me what it is ("why the hell would I do that?"), so I can't say anything more about it
rcduggan: yeah...I think Discomb will have a few words to say about him later on in the game...
Discomb: you. suck.
stnylan: ...the carnage finally begins
(or, well, almost)canonized: hopefully, yeah...
Edzako: hey, this is the AAR of the LAN, which includes the (kind of minute) social aspect as well
TheExecuter: yeah, and its a bit awkward for us too, as how do we respond to all the "good luck!"s? "err...yeah, uhhm...y'see..."?
so, to follow yesterday's tongue in cheek update, tomorrow Discomb should be providing us with an update of his own. he's not told me what it is ("why the hell would I do that?"), so I can't say anything more about it
Myth said:Edzako: hey, this is the AAR of the LAN, which includes the (kind of minute) social aspect as well
I am not complaining your battle cries single were worth for an update *insert evil smiley here*
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Damn, if I knew you lived so close to my brother, I'd have invited you too! Then things would really have been interesting!Edzako said:Heh new update only game is different - Myth private life or something
Discomb said:
I believe this isn't last MP game you are playing so there still is a chance, btw actually it's quite strange that you mentioned that because I only recent arranged MP hame with our mortal enemies - Lithuanians and looks like one player of my team will be missing...hmmm
Very interesting so far, especially with your mixing of realities. Onward to glorious Soviet victory!
Edzako: yes, the battle cries are certainly special...
Discomb: yeah, that would've been pretty cool...maybe next summer, if we can, eh?
Edzako: unfortunately I wouldn't be able to take part because the university firewall doesn't allow stuff like that...
The_Carbonater: yes, lanning is definitely fun
VILenin: yes, I figured it would be interesting to know not only what happens operationally and strategically, but also with the players as well. that, and the alternate world type setup allows for a fairly decent free for all which is somewhat unusual for HOI2. thanks, glad to have you following this!
so yeah, today's update is Discomb's. it's coming up sometime soon hopefully and it'll get a link in the table of contents. also, we now have a title graphic for the AAR that'll also appear soon!
Discomb: yeah, that would've been pretty cool...maybe next summer, if we can, eh?
Edzako: unfortunately I wouldn't be able to take part because the university firewall doesn't allow stuff like that...
The_Carbonater: yes, lanning is definitely fun
VILenin: yes, I figured it would be interesting to know not only what happens operationally and strategically, but also with the players as well. that, and the alternate world type setup allows for a fairly decent free for all which is somewhat unusual for HOI2. thanks, glad to have you following this!
so yeah, today's update is Discomb's. it's coming up sometime soon hopefully and it'll get a link in the table of contents. also, we now have a title graphic for the AAR that'll also appear soon!
Discomb Update 1: Pre-Game
It was a beautiful day. I can’t remember if it was sunny, cloudy, windy, or plain out morbid outside, because it’s always beautiful inside my brother’s apartment, situated across the street from where old town Riga begins, and with a great view of the Daugava river from the window. Not that I ever look outside. For the entirety of those two blissful weeks spent living with my brother, my life was consumed by endless chords, power supply units, ridiculous hardware of all sorts, and heaps of junk food. Myth arrived a little later than I planned to start. The entire previous way was spent in mental preparation for the event. We set up the equipment, connected all the odd wires, and prepared ourselves for 5 years of combat with the game’s supposedly improved AI.
The text is an incredible placeholder I put together in 10 minutes. I really ran out of time working on this thing, and it looks terrible. Promise to revisit it within the next few days. Apologies once again.
Good morning/afternoon/any other time of day. Today we’ll see a short (long) update of this AAR of my account. Frankly this blank page doesn’t need any writing on it, it’s beautiful as it is, but I’ve got to do it. Let me begin then, by emphasizing one important element of the LAN party overlooked by Myth:
Ice cream is a very important element in the LANning process.
Indeed, to say that ice cream is good at LAN parties is to make an enormous understatement of how remarkably blissful a substance it truly is. All other foodstuffs appear only second hand and are wildly uninteresting while looking through the concave form of a glass ice cream bowl. But enough of that. A 5 minute run down to the gas station right next to my brother’s house acquired us the necessary soft drinks and sugar-or-salt-based snacks to begin a struggle that would certainly end deep in the night. The setup was as follows:
Myth, taken at some point during the gaming process by my brother, as he made his way to the kitchen for more ice cream.
Myth would occupy the living room. Since his laptop’s monitor died just a few weeks before I would arrive in Latvia, I actually volunteered to bring my sweet sweet work monitor (I’m a graphic designer by trade, I use a dual monitor setup at home with a really expensive and sexy 19” widescreen TFT plugged into my laptop) all the way from China. Yes, in case you have yet to realize, I live and work in China at the moment, and that’s how far my baby had to travel just to be able to play this game. Myth isn’t using it, however. We decided that since his laptop is not a widescreen machine, it would be too strenuous for his native video card to pull a widescreen resolution for Hearts of Iron, so instead he is using my brother’s monitor mounted in the living room.
My brother’s remarkably messy room, with a retarded paper napkin lying on my external hard drive for whatever reason…
That thing next to the rotting apple on the desk is my brother’s computer. Quite an epic machine. We’ve disassembled and reassembled it multiple times. It (in the broadest sense of the word “it”) is haunted by ghosts of the most remarkable nature, infused into it from the bodies of 36 kittens who died in agony all over the world, unable to comprehend just how a fairly intelligent person like my brother can be SO REMARKABLY BAD at operating system maintenance. It came to a point where even I, a patient and understanding as well as a tech-savvy man simply gave up on trying to rescue it from the various hells in which it resided. Jokingly dubbed Schrödinger’s Computer, it consistently resides in both an efficiently functioning and a “retarded elephant trying to integrate on his fingers” state. I must admit, I had doubts about connecting my beautiful work monitor to this hellish abomination in fear of eSTDs, but it had to be done. In the corner there you see my feet, resting comfortably on my laptop’s PSU for warmth and comfort.
I look like shit, hands down. My hair is a bigger mess than Weimar Germany.
My incredibly undernourished and ungroomed (temporary effect caused by too much LANning) self resides on the very comfortable couch with a big plate of chocolate and a coke bottle, working on my incredibly stable and not in any way haunted laptop, which has had the same windows install on it for over 3years. There honestly isn’t much else to be said here. Now you know what sort of equipment we were working with, which no doubt added a great deal of FUN to the whole gaming process. Yes, FUN is what we had, as long as your definition of fun is fighting against the game’s AI, which is similar to playing Pac-Man versus ghosts with amnesia and tourettes, constantly forgetting where they’re going and spazzing back and forth in the space of two squares. But then, you have to be either a quadriplegic or dead not to enjoy Pac-Man.
Now away from the setup, let me give you a little background of our LANs. For two and a half years we’ve been gathering at this apartment every once in a while to play games of all sorts, and though I am a consistent victor in Halo and Call of Duty 2, Myth has yet to lose a single game of Hearts of Iron. We’ve played somewhere between 7 and 9 games of HoI2, of which at least half were PvP instead of Players vs World, and Myth won all of them, regardless of the setup or the number of participants aiming their electronic water pistols in his direction. Why then did I agree to yet another mindless pounding by the Soviet steamroller? Was I stoned? In fact, yes I was stoned when this whole game idea was thought up, but that isn’t the real reason. I was going to win. Ooooh yes, my plan for overclocking the German economy proved so efficient in a mock game I played with myself that I expected to roll out over a hundred mobile elements before the war’s start. These would be composed of two parts panzers and one part motorised infantry. With the support of my brother’s British infantry in the rear, I lived for the day my dear friend’s steamroller gets rolled right back into the hanger by panzers riding on the railroad tracks straight to Moscow. But, if I say any more, I’d be giving away too much of the future events, so let’s move on to the more immediate strategic concerns.
As the game began my plan was of course to take Romania as soon as possible, and the first thing I was dispatch 70% of my army to that cause. Germany has an abundance of energy and enough of any other resource to survive on her own, except for oil. Ploesti was target number one, and I had to fight through the mountains of Czechoslovakia to get there, which made me sad. Furthermore, once I’d enter Romania, there’d be a very annoying victory point province right on the Soviet border, very much out of the way of my lightning panzers. My hope was that Myth would try and race me to Ploesti for a chance to severely hinder my combat ability later in the war due to a lack of oil. That would take care of the victory point problem, but it meant that I had to reach my target much sooner than was comfortable. A shadow of recklessness was cast on the whole campaign from day one.
Regarding the Scandinavian, I had absolutely no plans to take it. It was entirely up to my brother to take Norway and Sweden (perhaps even Finland) at his earliest convenience. I would be quite satisfied with chokepointing any offensive from the north in Copenhagen, and relying on the British navy to make amphibious landings just north of Berlin a wet dream for Myth. Reading Myth’s own rundown of strategy for the game, I was surprised to see him caught slightly off guard by my immediate takeover of Denmark. Frankly, let’s look at this situation in the most basic way: I had armies on their border. They didn’t. It would be such an incredible waste of time to have left the conquest of Denmark for later, that I’d slit my throat with the HoI2 CD if I were to ignore the chance. There’s nothing else to say here.
The Iberian was a separate matter altogether. I fully expected Myth to take advantage of the fact that Gibraltar was controlled by Equatorial Africa (!) and open up a second front in my rear. Yes indeed, as part of the game’s setup, all and I mean ALL overseas colonies were given to the made up nation of Equatorial Africa, including India, parts of Southeast Asia and fragments of Central and South America. Equatorial Africa was BIG, and I didn’t quite see Myth waging war on them so early on. Therefore, I saw little reason to be concerned, but I wanted to get a head start and not give him a chance to stab me in the back at some point in the future. Hence, I made the conquest of Spain my brother’s first objective. Problem solved.
I can’t think of anything else I should say before the start. I don’t remember what my researches were, but I remember dedicating one slot to panzers, one to doctrines and one to industry for the entirety of the game. The other two shifted back and forth depending on what I felt was needed more at the moment. I don’t remember what minister or ideology changes I made, so with that covered, let the game time begin! Wooooo!
Wooooo!
It was a beautiful day. I can’t remember if it was sunny, cloudy, windy, or plain out morbid outside, because it’s always beautiful inside my brother’s apartment, situated across the street from where old town Riga begins, and with a great view of the Daugava river from the window. Not that I ever look outside. For the entirety of those two blissful weeks spent living with my brother, my life was consumed by endless chords, power supply units, ridiculous hardware of all sorts, and heaps of junk food. Myth arrived a little later than I planned to start. The entire previous way was spent in mental preparation for the event. We set up the equipment, connected all the odd wires, and prepared ourselves for 5 years of combat with the game’s supposedly improved AI.
The text is an incredible placeholder I put together in 10 minutes. I really ran out of time working on this thing, and it looks terrible. Promise to revisit it within the next few days. Apologies once again.
Good morning/afternoon/any other time of day. Today we’ll see a short (long) update of this AAR of my account. Frankly this blank page doesn’t need any writing on it, it’s beautiful as it is, but I’ve got to do it. Let me begin then, by emphasizing one important element of the LAN party overlooked by Myth:
Ice cream is a very important element in the LANning process.
Indeed, to say that ice cream is good at LAN parties is to make an enormous understatement of how remarkably blissful a substance it truly is. All other foodstuffs appear only second hand and are wildly uninteresting while looking through the concave form of a glass ice cream bowl. But enough of that. A 5 minute run down to the gas station right next to my brother’s house acquired us the necessary soft drinks and sugar-or-salt-based snacks to begin a struggle that would certainly end deep in the night. The setup was as follows:
Myth, taken at some point during the gaming process by my brother, as he made his way to the kitchen for more ice cream.
Myth would occupy the living room. Since his laptop’s monitor died just a few weeks before I would arrive in Latvia, I actually volunteered to bring my sweet sweet work monitor (I’m a graphic designer by trade, I use a dual monitor setup at home with a really expensive and sexy 19” widescreen TFT plugged into my laptop) all the way from China. Yes, in case you have yet to realize, I live and work in China at the moment, and that’s how far my baby had to travel just to be able to play this game. Myth isn’t using it, however. We decided that since his laptop is not a widescreen machine, it would be too strenuous for his native video card to pull a widescreen resolution for Hearts of Iron, so instead he is using my brother’s monitor mounted in the living room.
My brother’s remarkably messy room, with a retarded paper napkin lying on my external hard drive for whatever reason…
That thing next to the rotting apple on the desk is my brother’s computer. Quite an epic machine. We’ve disassembled and reassembled it multiple times. It (in the broadest sense of the word “it”) is haunted by ghosts of the most remarkable nature, infused into it from the bodies of 36 kittens who died in agony all over the world, unable to comprehend just how a fairly intelligent person like my brother can be SO REMARKABLY BAD at operating system maintenance. It came to a point where even I, a patient and understanding as well as a tech-savvy man simply gave up on trying to rescue it from the various hells in which it resided. Jokingly dubbed Schrödinger’s Computer, it consistently resides in both an efficiently functioning and a “retarded elephant trying to integrate on his fingers” state. I must admit, I had doubts about connecting my beautiful work monitor to this hellish abomination in fear of eSTDs, but it had to be done. In the corner there you see my feet, resting comfortably on my laptop’s PSU for warmth and comfort.
I look like shit, hands down. My hair is a bigger mess than Weimar Germany.
My incredibly undernourished and ungroomed (temporary effect caused by too much LANning) self resides on the very comfortable couch with a big plate of chocolate and a coke bottle, working on my incredibly stable and not in any way haunted laptop, which has had the same windows install on it for over 3years. There honestly isn’t much else to be said here. Now you know what sort of equipment we were working with, which no doubt added a great deal of FUN to the whole gaming process. Yes, FUN is what we had, as long as your definition of fun is fighting against the game’s AI, which is similar to playing Pac-Man versus ghosts with amnesia and tourettes, constantly forgetting where they’re going and spazzing back and forth in the space of two squares. But then, you have to be either a quadriplegic or dead not to enjoy Pac-Man.
Now away from the setup, let me give you a little background of our LANs. For two and a half years we’ve been gathering at this apartment every once in a while to play games of all sorts, and though I am a consistent victor in Halo and Call of Duty 2, Myth has yet to lose a single game of Hearts of Iron. We’ve played somewhere between 7 and 9 games of HoI2, of which at least half were PvP instead of Players vs World, and Myth won all of them, regardless of the setup or the number of participants aiming their electronic water pistols in his direction. Why then did I agree to yet another mindless pounding by the Soviet steamroller? Was I stoned? In fact, yes I was stoned when this whole game idea was thought up, but that isn’t the real reason. I was going to win. Ooooh yes, my plan for overclocking the German economy proved so efficient in a mock game I played with myself that I expected to roll out over a hundred mobile elements before the war’s start. These would be composed of two parts panzers and one part motorised infantry. With the support of my brother’s British infantry in the rear, I lived for the day my dear friend’s steamroller gets rolled right back into the hanger by panzers riding on the railroad tracks straight to Moscow. But, if I say any more, I’d be giving away too much of the future events, so let’s move on to the more immediate strategic concerns.
As the game began my plan was of course to take Romania as soon as possible, and the first thing I was dispatch 70% of my army to that cause. Germany has an abundance of energy and enough of any other resource to survive on her own, except for oil. Ploesti was target number one, and I had to fight through the mountains of Czechoslovakia to get there, which made me sad. Furthermore, once I’d enter Romania, there’d be a very annoying victory point province right on the Soviet border, very much out of the way of my lightning panzers. My hope was that Myth would try and race me to Ploesti for a chance to severely hinder my combat ability later in the war due to a lack of oil. That would take care of the victory point problem, but it meant that I had to reach my target much sooner than was comfortable. A shadow of recklessness was cast on the whole campaign from day one.
Regarding the Scandinavian, I had absolutely no plans to take it. It was entirely up to my brother to take Norway and Sweden (perhaps even Finland) at his earliest convenience. I would be quite satisfied with chokepointing any offensive from the north in Copenhagen, and relying on the British navy to make amphibious landings just north of Berlin a wet dream for Myth. Reading Myth’s own rundown of strategy for the game, I was surprised to see him caught slightly off guard by my immediate takeover of Denmark. Frankly, let’s look at this situation in the most basic way: I had armies on their border. They didn’t. It would be such an incredible waste of time to have left the conquest of Denmark for later, that I’d slit my throat with the HoI2 CD if I were to ignore the chance. There’s nothing else to say here.
The Iberian was a separate matter altogether. I fully expected Myth to take advantage of the fact that Gibraltar was controlled by Equatorial Africa (!) and open up a second front in my rear. Yes indeed, as part of the game’s setup, all and I mean ALL overseas colonies were given to the made up nation of Equatorial Africa, including India, parts of Southeast Asia and fragments of Central and South America. Equatorial Africa was BIG, and I didn’t quite see Myth waging war on them so early on. Therefore, I saw little reason to be concerned, but I wanted to get a head start and not give him a chance to stab me in the back at some point in the future. Hence, I made the conquest of Spain my brother’s first objective. Problem solved.
I can’t think of anything else I should say before the start. I don’t remember what my researches were, but I remember dedicating one slot to panzers, one to doctrines and one to industry for the entirety of the game. The other two shifted back and forth depending on what I felt was needed more at the moment. I don’t remember what minister or ideology changes I made, so with that covered, let the game time begin! Wooooo!
Wooooo!