Permanently Operating Factors - A Soviet LAN AAR

[trekaddict]

I just realized you are fighting so many actual cavalry forces. That must drive you nuts that they are putting up such a fierce fight against your more modern weaponry. On the bright side, at least it's not winter...yet.

We all know that the Soviet Fighting man always reaches his peak performance during winter.

[Myth]

Discomb: Yes, yes indeed.

VILenin: Yeah, damn Siberia for being so big and its infrastructure for being so crap!

coz1: Hey, we already went through one winter! You must not think very highly of my war-making skills!

trekaddict: Very true, doubly so if he is from Siberia and triply so if so is hi commander.

First comment day! I came home at something past 6 in the morning today because I was busy lanning the entire night away with Discomb, a new HoI2 game that will be converted into an AAR.
But it's not actually finished yet and we have only one more night to play it and finish the game, so my sleep has been brutally slaughtered and left out to die. But it means that, given that I have only one more update ready, once it's posted I may possibly go on a slight hiatus to clear my mind and catch up on sleep, as it affects my AAR writing-ness. So...yeah.

[grayghost]

Upstart Warlord state?! Upstart Warlord state?! Manchukuo is a legitimate government ruled by the benevolent Emperor Pu Yi! Upstart Warlord state.

[Myth]

grayghost: Exactly, self-styled emperor, propped up by an external benefactor, broke off from Imperial China...upstart warlord state

Second comment day, and one day closer to returning to England

[Myth]

OMG COME HERE indeed. Seriously, just…what? This makes less sense than that picture of a bunny with a pancake on its head; less sense than Bulgaria and Greece declaring war on me for attacking their traditional enemy, the Turks. Those, however, can be attributed to the peculiarities of the diplomatic system; I had a high enough belligerence, they went “oh shit he’s trying to be a hegemon” (note: not a “hedge mon,” that’s a Jamaican dude who sleeps under hedges, a hegemon is a state that wishes to accomplish a hegemony for itself and I believe it is a real word no matter what blatant and foul lies Microsoft Word attempts to push onto me) and then declared war on me. Because I had high belligerence, in case that lesson was lost because of my other ramblings.

This is more surprising than my underestimation of Turkey despite holding two or three war games concerning the invasion before the LAN. I had wanted to make sure that I could beat Turkey before German managed to blitz to Istanbul and take it. I succeeded in the war games in annexing Turkey in two and a half months or less, which was my estimate of how long it would take Germany to reach Istanbul blitzing through Austria-Hungary-Romania-Bulgaria (though in the end they went with Czechoslovakia-Romania-Bulgaria) but during the game itself was two German advances away from failing here. I also held war games concerning the conquest of Manchuria, as I wasn’t sure that Vorshilov would be able to actually conquer that Asiatic state at all, even without any sort of time limit as was present in Turkey. Well, he did in the war games, though they didn’t take Tannu Tuva into consideration or the concentration of units that I effected in-game at Vladivostok; in the war games, they were spread all around Manchuria’s border, thus forcing them to diffuse their own forces.

Anyway, I’m losing the thread here as I break down the fourth wall; all the dust and debris is doing an admirable job of camouflaging it with the color of dust and debris. I scream out “OMG COME HERE” into the local area cyberspace between my laptop and Discomb’s laptop and pause the game. I immediately rush off to get cookies his mother had baked some time previously and began demolishing them, taking the bowl back with me when Anton arrives from the other room. My coke (not the white stuff) is already gone, emptied some time before; my papers with my vital details such as build plans, technology orders and corps commanders off to the side. With the cookies in my lap and Discomb to my right, I reveal a slight amount of information his spies would never have found for themselves (given that they were banned in the Riga Treaty of 2007, which stipulated the laws of game and war). This information will quickly be out of date due to the ever shifting nature of military deployments, but nonetheless, something is revealed.


Me, with the enormous tear in my shorts that came from working in construction for a month though I can’t for the life of me remember how I actually got it, obviously amused and explaining things to Discomb.

What I’m telling Discomb about, however, is far more amusing and more important than a bit of soon-to-be-obsolescent information on my military deployments in a certain local area. Specifically, Japan is up to some ridiculous antics. They are more ridiculous than the thoughts that must have been going through the ambassador from Bulgaria’s head when he delivered the declaration of war from his government to Litvinov. They were more ridiculous than Manchuria’s earlier antics that resulted in them doubling their territory and just about shattering Voroshilov’s Manchurian Front. Japan was finally on the attack!

Yes, after several long months, Japan was making its presence felt at last! They were attacking and killing Soviet soldiers, and were being killed in their turn! It was an amphibious assault! It was taking place at Narva!

Wait. Narva? As in, Narva in…in the Socialist Soviet Republic of Estonia?!

WHAT.

[Discomb]

What indeed. Have a cool flight back man.

[Incognitia]

That's...brilliant...

Crazy Japanese....

[BritishImperial]

the ai making best use of its stupid stupid no range limit advantage

[coz1]

Clearly they have been planning this operation for some time. Sneaky little Japanese.

[grayghost]

That is fricken hilarious...and timely. Perhaps the Soviets will be so shaken by this turn of events that they will have to pull troops from Zhukov to stem the Japanese tide pouring through Estonia. Wait...does two division constitute a "tide"?

Well...it's a thought.

[4th Dimension]

That is fricken hilarious...and timely. Perhaps the Soviets will be so shaken by this turn of events that they will have to pull troops from Zhukov to stem the Japanese tide pouring through Estonia. Wait...does two division constitute a "tide"?

Well...it's a thought.

There is no way Japs are going to win. They are attacking a garrisoned (1/2 their strength) swampy province in the middle of night, and defenders are entrenched.

[VILenin]

So the dealy in their attack was the time it took for them to paddle their boats around the world and into the Baltic. I'd love to see their logistical plan for resupply. I guess it's a sort of reverse 1905; Russia sailed from the Baltic to the Far East last time so this time they get homefield (or home-sea) advantage and Japan had to be the travelling team. Seems perfectly reasonable.

[Myth]

Discomb: Thanks. The journey back was all right, except for London. London sucks and virtually everything there went wrong and the only reason I arrived at a reasonable hour back here is because the flight came in a bit early and let me catch an earlier train out of the airport

Incognitia: Yep, bloody crazy

BritishImperial: Yep, brilliant use of it. Well, kind of, if they put more troops into the effort

coz1: Yes, those conniving bastards...

grayghost: It's how you use your army, not its size, that matters. Two divisions could be a tide, properly used

4th Dimension: The Japanese have artillery and higher organization, and less targets to shoot at. Since its the middle of the night, the defenders are confused and wondering whether the fishermen are going out early or coming back really late...

VILenin: To be fair, historically the IJA had terrible logistics plans and basically expected its soldiers to live off the land. And it's easier to do it in Estonia than Siberia, no doubt But yes, fair's fair and this time it's their turn to come

First comment day! And I actually have no updates in reserve right now which means I have two days to write one up, I think I should manage but if not, you'll all know because there won't be one

[Delex]

This war versus Manchuria reminds me on the winter war.

[Myth]

Delex: Nah, the Winter War doesn't fit except as a little power defying a larger power for a period of time. When you look at the details, there's not terribly much similarity IMHO

Second comment day! And I have an update written, so there'll be something to post tomorrow

[Myth]

Right, apparently the university internet connection is something along the lines of crap right now, meaning that I can't upload my screenshots. I don't know why, since download speeds are as fast as ever, but when it comes to loading webpages or uploading anything it just shows about as much aptitude as a stone does at flying. So I guess that POF will be on hold until the situation is restored to normality. In the meantime, however, I'll create a small reserve of updates, notwithstanding the need to upload screenshots.

[Discomb]

Cardinal failure.

[Myth]

Verily so. Yesterday late afternoon I notified the network administrators and they said that that they were looking into the problem, would restart their stuff and whatnot. I have since then decided that, whatever they did, fixing this connection was not among their accomplishments.

[BritishImperial]

maybe you should advise them of how shocking they are, and earn some cash on the side as an administrator

[Discomb]

No they seem to have fixed the problem. Myth said he'll update tomorrow.