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Omigod Pip, my sides are hurting from the spill out of my chair, which was of course a direct result of my uncontrollable laughter and the push from my wife who was diligently trying to get some RL work accomplished.
But it is well worth it and after I stop laughing I'm going to have to kick myself a few times for letting those laughs wait for as long as it has been since last I was here reading.
Hey, can I forgo the self abuse and get some laughs instead? Maybe a picture of Patton with some make-up or the like?
But it is well worth it and after I stop laughing I'm going to have to kick myself a few times for letting those laughs wait for as long as it has been since last I was here reading.
Hey, can I forgo the self abuse and get some laughs instead? Maybe a picture of Patton with some make-up or the like?
stnylan - Given enough chances it can surprise you.
4th Dimension - Insane plans? I prefer the term 'Cunning plans' although I may be in the minority.
Jon Young - There is a genius plan to ensure the Chinese do not have to suffer the pain of not being ruled from Westminster rest assured.
C&D - The American HQ naming convention is most off putting to their allies, it's hard to discuss military plans when your giggling. Even worse imagine going to SHEMALE to talk about 'Armoured Thursts' and 'Deep Operations'.....
Frankly it's enough to put anyone off their tea, which is practically a hanging offence in the British Army let me tell you.
Shadow Reaper - All will be revealed. Actually not all, a great deal will still be covered, something I'm sure we're all very pleased about. I know I am.
4th Dimension - It's not a paper bag he's wearing, or his normal uniform. That's all I'm saying.
Sokraates - Pah! What cunning is that, Britain can call upon the direct descendants of both Captain Blackadder and Corporal Baldrick. Plus we recently appointed a fox to be Professor of Cunning Plans at Oxford University as a backup, just in case.
Nathan Madien - Cutting political satire and a cunning plan? What more could anyone ask for?
safferli - I was shocked, I too was expecting Operation "Send 200 divisions to Guam and do bugger all the entire war" but no, they surprise me.
Sokraates - Spies. They're everywhere you know, loose lips... *something something*. Possibly "loose lips are better than fat hips" but I'm not really sure.
Draco Rexus - Such praise from a leg-end, just what any alleged comedy author like myself loves to here. Rest assured Patton will make an appearance in the next update, along side another US hero from the past.
4th Dimension - Insane plans? I prefer the term 'Cunning plans' although I may be in the minority.
Jon Young - There is a genius plan to ensure the Chinese do not have to suffer the pain of not being ruled from Westminster rest assured.
C&D - The American HQ naming convention is most off putting to their allies, it's hard to discuss military plans when your giggling. Even worse imagine going to SHEMALE to talk about 'Armoured Thursts' and 'Deep Operations'.....
Frankly it's enough to put anyone off their tea, which is practically a hanging offence in the British Army let me tell you.
Shadow Reaper - All will be revealed. Actually not all, a great deal will still be covered, something I'm sure we're all very pleased about. I know I am.
4th Dimension - It's not a paper bag he's wearing, or his normal uniform. That's all I'm saying.
Sokraates - Pah! What cunning is that, Britain can call upon the direct descendants of both Captain Blackadder and Corporal Baldrick. Plus we recently appointed a fox to be Professor of Cunning Plans at Oxford University as a backup, just in case.
Nathan Madien - Cutting political satire and a cunning plan? What more could anyone ask for?
safferli - I was shocked, I too was expecting Operation "Send 200 divisions to Guam and do bugger all the entire war" but no, they surprise me.
Sokraates - Spies. They're everywhere you know, loose lips... *something something*. Possibly "loose lips are better than fat hips" but I'm not really sure.
Draco Rexus - Such praise from a leg-end, just what any alleged comedy author like myself loves to here. Rest assured Patton will make an appearance in the next update, along side another US hero from the past.
El Pip said:
At least it wasn't one of your subjects. They'll rather keep a stipp upper lip and all.
El Pip said:...
The American HQ naming convention is most off putting to their allies, it's hard to discuss military plans when your giggling. Even worse imagine going to SHEMALE to talk about 'Armoured Thursts' and 'Deep Operations'.....
Frankly it's enough to put anyone off their tea, which is practically a hanging offence in the British Army let me tell you.
...
*Giggles*
What goes around, comes around. Then goes around again but harder.
Back from the dead mainly to spite Jape
While the war appears to be going well we are confused, this outburst of US competence has us confused. Clearly Eisenhower is no longer in charge, apparently he's "joined the navy". Literally and euphemistically.
At least he's happy. The reaction of the US navy to this however was not recorded. Probably for the best
But who is this new US general? It can't be Patton, this warzone is a bit rough for him.
My soldiers can eat their belts, my tanks can run on that smelly petrol stuff but I absolutely must have chiffon darling!
No can't be him, not since the incident anyway.
As we puzzle over the problem we are invited to the US new HQ, the Expeditionary Force China Joint Headquarters - EFCJH. Try as we might we can't get a rude word out of that. Rude sounds yes, words no.
Still it appears they have abandoned their previous naming system; Basic and Understandable Multi-national Force Unifed Naming - BUMFUN. Frankly it will be missed, especially by some of the public school officers but we try not to talk about that.
The new, competent and seemingly un-deranged general is....
The man in the hat! Some may call him General Clifton Bledsoe Cates, United States Marine Corps, but to us he will always be the man in the hat.
Excellent, with this in place it is time to move on and drive through Southern China. Ghurkas from the East and Royal Marines from the sea, we soon encircle the Guangxi Clique warlords. We move to annex th..
Bugger.
I must confess I'm quite annoyed by that, the two sides were notionally allied. Once more the thrice damned Swedes vex me, even from beyond annexation they continue to be annoying. Nevertheless we drive on, into Yunnan, here we will taste victo..
Typical, you've barely annexed a small Chinese state then minutes later you want another one.
Right that does it. We tried to do this honestly but the damned Chinese kept being tricky, two can play at that game and frankly we're better at it.
That's what I call a real pun-ishment. No I will not be apologising for that.
With our mastery of gamey events once again re-asserted we look upon China as masters of most of what we survey;
Victory in the East! Again! The whole of China has been annexed, apart from that annoying splodge of orange leftness. No not the Dutch labour party, that would be far worse, this is the home of not-and-wont-ever-be-this-time-Chairman Mao. Quite possibly the only mass murder named after the noise a cat makes.
With victory complete will Britain enjoy peace? Or are there still a few more loose ends to sort out? Will Britain belligerence reach so high it loops around? What of the traitors of the Dominican republic? Is no event too gamey for this AAR? The last answer is no, for the rest you will have to wait until next time!
What goes around, comes around. Then goes around again but harder.
While the war appears to be going well we are confused, this outburst of US competence has us confused. Clearly Eisenhower is no longer in charge, apparently he's "joined the navy". Literally and euphemistically.
At least he's happy. The reaction of the US navy to this however was not recorded. Probably for the best
But who is this new US general? It can't be Patton, this warzone is a bit rough for him.
My soldiers can eat their belts, my tanks can run on that smelly petrol stuff but I absolutely must have chiffon darling!
No can't be him, not since the incident anyway.
As we puzzle over the problem we are invited to the US new HQ, the Expeditionary Force China Joint Headquarters - EFCJH. Try as we might we can't get a rude word out of that. Rude sounds yes, words no.
Still it appears they have abandoned their previous naming system; Basic and Understandable Multi-national Force Unifed Naming - BUMFUN. Frankly it will be missed, especially by some of the public school officers but we try not to talk about that.
The new, competent and seemingly un-deranged general is....
The man in the hat! Some may call him General Clifton Bledsoe Cates, United States Marine Corps, but to us he will always be the man in the hat.
Excellent, with this in place it is time to move on and drive through Southern China. Ghurkas from the East and Royal Marines from the sea, we soon encircle the Guangxi Clique warlords. We move to annex th..
Bugger.
I must confess I'm quite annoyed by that, the two sides were notionally allied. Once more the thrice damned Swedes vex me, even from beyond annexation they continue to be annoying. Nevertheless we drive on, into Yunnan, here we will taste victo..
Typical, you've barely annexed a small Chinese state then minutes later you want another one.
Right that does it. We tried to do this honestly but the damned Chinese kept being tricky, two can play at that game and frankly we're better at it.
That's what I call a real pun-ishment. No I will not be apologising for that.
With our mastery of gamey events once again re-asserted we look upon China as masters of most of what we survey;
Victory in the East! Again! The whole of China has been annexed, apart from that annoying splodge of orange leftness. No not the Dutch labour party, that would be far worse, this is the home of not-and-wont-ever-be-this-time-Chairman Mao. Quite possibly the only mass murder named after the noise a cat makes.
With victory complete will Britain enjoy peace? Or are there still a few more loose ends to sort out? Will Britain belligerence reach so high it loops around? What of the traitors of the Dominican republic? Is no event too gamey for this AAR? The last answer is no, for the rest you will have to wait until next time!
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:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
i bet the USA will be next inherited country
i bet the USA will be next inherited country
Wow, this funny AAR returns. :rofl: Good old Ike looks cute, in a Rocky Horror Picture Show kind of way.
It's good to sww this AAR back.
And just so you know: In Chinese, "Mao" actually does mean "cat". And probably a host of other things as well, depending on pronounciation. You just have to love Chinese for this: One of those few languages where you recite a love poem only to be arrested for swearing in public ... and all this only because you'vecaugth a cold.
And just so you know: In Chinese, "Mao" actually does mean "cat". And probably a host of other things as well, depending on pronounciation. You just have to love Chinese for this: One of those few languages where you recite a love poem only to be arrested for swearing in public ... and all this only because you'vecaugth a cold.
El Pip said:
Actually the Dutch labour party is just the usual red colour and in the WW2 era they where at their best (
)! Today, of course, they are elite politicians, which makes them dangerous. Fortunately, Wilhelmina is a reasonable monarch Britain can negotiate with. With a little British support, she'll rid the country of those hated politicians and install a government of heroes of both the people and the army! Eh, right after the eviction of the American Empire. Which is right about.....now! No, now!, Now! Oh dangit! Wait for it......now! Damn! They won't go away ! Bloody annoying poofters.
Mico94 - Not quite sir, but it will involve the US. And annexation obviously.
Juste - Thanks!
elbasto - I aim to please.
Nathan Madien - I can't claim the credit, that goes to the fine gentlemen of the interweb. Random website called worth1000.com had a "Photoshop any US President in Drag" contest, which I must confess I found most handy.
Sokraates - Not any more, under the benevolent but firm rule of Britain we'll soon sort that language out.
safferli - It's puntastic!
Gigalocus - Adamascus. (Or Assur if your being factually dull)
C&D - The US has made itself quite comfortable in Europe, I think they could prove hard to shift. But rest assured Britain has a plan.
Murmurandus - One could almost say it was cunning....
Juste - Thanks!
elbasto - I aim to please.
Nathan Madien - I can't claim the credit, that goes to the fine gentlemen of the interweb. Random website called worth1000.com had a "Photoshop any US President in Drag" contest, which I must confess I found most handy.
Sokraates - Not any more, under the benevolent but firm rule of Britain we'll soon sort that language out.
safferli - It's puntastic!
Gigalocus - Adamascus.
(Or Assur if your being factually dull)C&D - The US has made itself quite comfortable in Europe, I think they could prove hard to shift. But rest assured Britain has a plan.
Murmurandus - One could almost say it was cunning....
A most unexpected war.
A most unexpected war.
Well we're once again at peace, now as our forces are all over the place it's probably best we wait awhile and try and consolidate our posi....
The Foreign Office was so shocked at this development they forgot to take a proper screenshot.
So we're at war with Mongolia. And Tannu Tuva obviously, though that can be hard to overlook for those not paying attention. Or even the troops on the ground if we're honest. Anyway it appears the US has decided to cleanse the world of the last of the Comintern, but hasn't got troops anywhere nearby. You'd almost suspect they want someone else to do their dirty work....
Putting such dark thoughts to one side we launch Operation Doing-the-Yanks-Dirty-Work-For-Them-The-Lazy-Buggers. Obviously we'd prefer a more pithy title but we can't find a way to shorten it. Now obviously the first stage of this campaign is to suppress the mighty Mongolian/Tuvan arms-industrial complex
This looks like a job for the Royal Canadian Air Force!
Now you may mock, I know we do, but you can't deny the Canadians did a thorough job
https://i.imgur.com/e3koogP.jpg/IMG]
[I]I believe this is referred to as a comprehensive mullering. We even bombed the machines they use to work out how badly they've been bombed.[/I][/CENTER]
With that done we consult the Map of Importance;
[CENTER][IMG]https://i.imgur.com/Yt9CzMq.jpg
Not alot to see is there?
[I]I believe this is referred to as a comprehensive mullering. We even bombed the machines they use to work out how badly they've been bombed.[/I][/CENTER]
With that done we consult the Map of Importance;
[CENTER][IMG]https://i.imgur.com/Yt9CzMq.jpg
Not alot to see is there?
Wait a minute! It appears Tannu Tuva isn't important at all! It makes you wonder why we bothered getting the RCAF to utterly flatten their industry. Still at least our boys can feel better about ignoring them, they are officially not even worth ignoring.
But wait, news from our valiant Allies!
Ah the French.With some militia. Still at least they're here, unlike some lazy Allies I could mention...
Hmmm military policemen armed with tanks, what kind of crime do these gentlemen investigate? Still it highlights the true heroes of this campaign - The Logistic Corps. Our supply lines stretch from Mongolia to Venice, that is either an act of epic work or really, really stupid planning on someone's part. Possibly both.
As we wait for the somebody to finally get somewhere in the theatre (and for some effort from the Americans to fight the war they started) we turn our attention back to the Caribbean, were we have unfinished business with the Dominicans...
What is this unfinished business? Will this endless war ever end? War! What is it good for? Apart from protecting yourself from fascists aggression, liberating slaves and that sort of stuff obviously? Can Britain withstand a two fronted war without resorting to cheap gamey events? Some of these questions you will have to answer for yourself, the rest will be revealed in the next exciting update!
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Leave Mongols alone. Let's see how much land do they grab untill USA division finaly wonders into the conflict.El Pip said:A most unexpected war.
Well we're once again at peace, now as our forces are all over the place it's probably best we wait awhile and try and consolidate our posi....
The Foreign Office was so shocked at this development they forgot to take a proper screenshot.
So we're at war with Mongolia. And Tannu Tuva obviously, though that can be hard to overlook for those not paying attention. Or even the troops on the ground if we're honest. Anyway it appears the US has decided to cleanse the world of the last of the Comintern, but hasn't got troops anywhere nearby. You'd almost suspect they want someone else to do their dirty work....
Putting such dark thoughts to one side we launch Operation Doing-the-Yanks-Dirty-Work-For-Them-The-Lazy-Buggers. Obviously we'd prefer a more pithy title but we can't find a way to shorten it. Now obviously the first stage of this campaign is to suppress the mighty Mongolian/Tuvan arms-industrial complex
This looks like a job for the Royal Canadian Air Force!
Now you may mock, I know we do, but you can't deny the Canadians did a thorough job
I believe this is referred to as a comprehensive mullering. We even bombed the machines they use to work out how badly they've been bombed.
With that done we consult the Map of Importance;
Not alot to see is there?
Wait a minute! It appears Tannu Tuva isn't important at all! It makes you wonder why we bothered getting the RCAF to utterly flatten their industry. Still at least our boys can feel better about ignoring them, they are officially not even worth ignoring.
But wait, news from our valiant Allies!
Ah the French.With some militia. Still at least they're here, unlike some lazy Allies I could mention...
Hmmm military policemen armed with tanks, what kind of crime do these gentlemen investigate? Still it highlights the true heroes of this campaign - The Logistic Corps. Our supply lines strech from Mongolia to Venice, that is either an act of epic work or really, really stupid planning on someone's part. Possibly both.
As we wait for the somebody to finally get somewhere in the theatre (and for some effort from the Americans to fight the war they started) we turn our attention back to the Caribbean, were we have unfinished business with the Dominicans...
What is this unfinished business? Will this endless war ever end? War! What is it good for? Apart from protecting yourself from fascists aggression, liberating slaves and that sort of stuff obviously? Can Britain withstand a two fronted war without resorting to cheap gamey events? Some of these questions you will have to answer for yourself, the rest will be revealed in the next exciting update!