-
We have updated our Community Code of Conduct. Please read through the new rules for the forum that are an integral part of Paradox Interactive’s User Agreement.
Alexus -
Sokraates - Sniggering is a vital part of the update
C&D - The treacherous colonialists will be dealt with, but there is a bigger threat first. The Netherlands has been dealt with so harshly by the Swedes (they didn't even exist in the scenario) they deserve some payback.
likk9922 - General bloke in silly hat is one of the US' finest military minds, there is a clear correlation in the US between hat silliness and ability.
Juan_de_Marco - Yep, it's an update you never will forget.
Update as soon as the pictures are sorted!
Théoden-Pip said:
Sokraates - Sniggering is a vital part of the update
C&D - The treacherous colonialists will be dealt with, but there is a bigger threat first. The Netherlands has been dealt with so harshly by the Swedes (they didn't even exist in the scenario) they deserve some payback.
likk9922 - General bloke in silly hat is one of the US' finest military minds, there is a clear correlation in the US between hat silliness and ability.
Juan_de_Marco - Yep, it's an update you never will forget.
Update as soon as the pictures are sorted!
To the Great Surprise of all Involved.
To the Great Surprise of all Involved.
As we look at the new world order, things seem excellent. The twin perils of German and Japanese fascism have been defeated, Europe is liberated and we gave the Italians a damned good thrashing as well. But all is not well, there is a dark cloud on the horizon; Gracie Field has survived the war.
No, no of course not that. As bad as her singing was (her attempts to 'entertain' the troops crushed British morale so badly she personally extended the war by six months) it can't compare with the real threat, the menacing beast in the east; The Soviet Union.
Fortunately the Americans are on top of the matter and have arranged a meeting at their Supreme Headquarters, Europe, Military And Logistic Establishment. We decline to go, mainly because we can't keep a straight face while discussing a meeting inside Eisenhower's SHEMALE. After everyone finally stops sniggering we re-arrange a proper meeting.
The US plan is stunning, laid out in incredible detail by all the specialists; Patton describing unstoppable armoured thrusts cutting through the Soviet Union, Bradley evoked visions of mechanised infantry walling of advances and encircling key locations, even the US Navy got involved, Nimitz expounding a brave scheme to fight a path up the Baltic and land Marines in Leningrad.
As the full details of this stunningly ambitious plan sink in one man stands up, his name is Field Marshall Montgomery and he proposes an alternative plan. A plan involving a paradrop on a key location. Yet to the great surprise of all involved it is actually a good plan, so good it was put into action as Operation Undead Garden!
Stage 1
War with Haiti
Stage 2
Bludgen Haiti
Stage 3
Win in Haiti
Stage 4
Curse the sodding Dominicans.
Never trust a country named after a bunch of monks. Particularly Assisi-stan, the most unreliable of all the Soviet Republics.
Stage 5
Return to London and Highgate Cemetery. This is the most cunning and dastardly part of the plan.
Dear Lord, what have we created? Truly an offence against man and god! Still it'll get the job done and, more importantly, it'll be nowhere near us.
Stage 6
Start Operation Undead Garden!
As Zombie Karl Marx is dropped by Lancaster bomber over Moscow, panic ensues in the Soviet leadership. They can't shoot the founder of communism, but he's going on on a rampage eating anyone who isn't equal, making the elite Politburo top of the target list!
Stage 7
Victory!
In exchange for stopping the Zombie Karl Marx, using our patented Adam Smith capitalism cannon, the Soviet Union surrenders to the clearly superior United Kingdom. Huzzah!
The eastern threat has been dealt with, but our work is far from done. There are still bits of the map that aren't pink, nations suffering under the terrible strain of not being run from London or being a British puppet state. We cannot, in good conscience, let so many people suffer such an awful fate.
Last edited:
You must instantly free those poor nations!
Great plan at the Sov, truly a masterpiece of brain.. uhh...
Great plan at the Sov, truly a masterpiece of brain.. uhh...
the dominican republic taking your territory?
Thats a cessi bell if ever i heard one
:rofl:
Thats a cessi bell if ever i heard one
:rofl:
El Pip said:
In gameplay terms, without the victory point provinces of Indonesia or the Netherlands, the country ceases to exist as the Antilles and Suriname can't maintain the kingdom.
I reality, London was the capitol of the Netherlands from 1940 to 1945, with a hospital room in Ottawa temporarily granted to the Netherlands as a loophole to give a newborn princess Dutch nationality. While Surriname supplied aluminium and kept watch over the dastardly fascists and pinkos of South America. Surinamese and Antilleans, Dutch or Creole, fought side by side like brothers to keep the aluminium moving and safe from Brazilians.
While the Dutch navy protected other convoys and coasts. Many Dutch also served with the RAF.
Quite an impressive contributions to the war efforts for a non-existing country, no? Better than those thieving Dominicans at least.
Oh, wow. That was just crazy. XD I think you should get ahold of Mexico next and secure her vital supplies of gas-inducing beans for powerful ammo.
Eisenhower: OOOooo!!!
Montgomery: No, no, aauuuuugh, at the back of the throat. Aauuugh.
Eisenhower: No, no, no, oooooooh, in surprise and alarm.
Montgomery: Oh, you mean sort of a aaaagh!
Eisenhower: Yes, but I-- Aaaaagh!
Patton: Oooh!
Nimitz: Oh, no!
[roar]
BROTHER MAYNARD: It's the legendary Socialist Beast of aaauuugh!
Roosevelt: Run away!
ALL: Run away! Run away!
[roar]
El Pip: As the horrendous Socialist Beast lunged forward, escape
for Roosevelt and his allies seemed hopeless. When, suddenly, the
Beast was eaten from within. [ulk] The communist peril
was no more. The Quest for the Silliest Story could continue.
TheExecuter
Montgomery: No, no, aauuuuugh, at the back of the throat. Aauuugh.
Eisenhower: No, no, no, oooooooh, in surprise and alarm.
Montgomery: Oh, you mean sort of a aaaagh!
Eisenhower: Yes, but I-- Aaaaagh!
Patton: Oooh!
Nimitz: Oh, no!
[roar]
BROTHER MAYNARD: It's the legendary Socialist Beast of aaauuugh!
Roosevelt: Run away!
ALL: Run away! Run away!
[roar]
El Pip: As the horrendous Socialist Beast lunged forward, escape
for Roosevelt and his allies seemed hopeless. When, suddenly, the
Beast was eaten from within. [ulk] The communist peril
was no more. The Quest for the Silliest Story could continue.
TheExecuter
You are a troubled man, Pippy. Here's hoping they can get the medication regulated.
Vann
Vann
EP - I think you should sell the blueprints for zombification to Holland? Just think. A new Dutch duchy re-built using all the revenue from the 'Anne Franckenstein Diaries'C&D said:
Oh no-Zombie Marx, wait this just in from russia, they have somehow got hold of the corpse of Queen Victoria and zombiefied her . RUN FOR THE HILLS!
:rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl: :rofl:
A truly dastardly plan. Congratulations for that idea. *kowtows*
Now go and liberate the other nations the traditional, British way.
"We don't want to fight but by Jingo if we do,
We've got the ships, we've got the men, we've got the money too."
A truly dastardly plan. Congratulations for that idea. *kowtows*
Now go and liberate the other nations the traditional, British way.
"We don't want to fight but by Jingo if we do,
We've got the ships, we've got the men, we've got the money too."
scubadoobie2 said:EP - I think you should sell the blueprints for zombification to Holland? Just think. A new Dutch duchy re-built using all the revenue from the 'Anne Franckenstein Diaries'
Well, duchy wouldn't be as important as a kingdom. There is only one Dutch duchy and that is Gelre, which has lied defunct for centuries. The only other duchies are Limburg and Brabant, and the titleholder is king of Belgium.
But a re-built Dutch Empire would be viable. A first step would be punishing those arrogant American imperialist pigs by giving New York, Albany and New Jersey to the Netherlands and renaming them to the original names. And annexing Belgium and Luxemburg as well for good measure to recreate the United Kingdom of the Netherlands (and thus return the Duke titles of Brabant, Limburg and Luxemburg to a Dutch monarch).