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I think the Pope Himself cursed every Roman Emperor named Thomas or offspring of Thomas I into madness and failure and damnation and etc. :p

“A curse on you!” the German snarled between the blood and pulp that were now his lips and teeth. “A curse on all your line bearing your name!” The German rocked as blood seeping from his jerkins, and ran across the stone balcony. “May every son in your family named Thomas die in raving, stark madness! May God strip them of their wealth, their name, their health, and their loved ones!”

“May their penises wither and crack!” the German snarled, grasping onto the stone railing, slowly, desperately pulling himself up. “May their wives die in childbirth, may they love men, not women! May they rise against you, and bring you bitterness and shame in your shortened days!”


Incidentially enough, I believe BT said that the German here was Friederich Barbarossa in his alternate role.
 
Incidentially enough, I believe BT said that the German here was Friederich Barbarossa in his alternate role.

Yep, it was Barbarossa. I don't know why so many people missed that at first, since IIRC, BT actually said the guy's name was Friedrich von Hohenstaufen.

Incidentally, that same Friedrich happens to be a relative of Frederica von Hohenstaufen, who is named for him. IIRC, he was her great uncle or some such.
 
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Hey, Cousin Niko.... lets go bowling.

Thomas III isn't insane. Lets just just say he's mentally off balance, and that he likes building.

I bet he has a building fetish. If Frederica could dress herself to look like a Ghotic cathedral, that would surely get a proper response from him.
 
Hey everyone,

Right now I have the outline done for part of the next update. If all goes according to plan, it’ll be another three parter possibly! Look for it to be posted sometime this weekend probably!

AlexanderPrimus – Yes indeed, it was Frederick Barbarossa that uttered the curse against the Komnenid line. In this timeline, he was one of the last surviving papal guards attempting to defend the Vatican. Ironically, the same update the real Innocent III was an Italian noble whose knights helped shepherd the Curia to safety.

Morrell8 – Well, without getting into all sorts of definitions of what is and is not sane, I think its safe to say that Thomas III is definitely not normal!

c0d5579 – The German That Wouldn’t Die? Who is that? *confused* Yes, it was the bodyguard, not the Pope. There is definite potential for a Tiberius scenario or a Caligula scenario, the big question is will the empire see enough peace for that to happen?

Enewald – Wasn’t the Pope. Was Frederick Barbarossa, after Thomas I murdered the Pope. As for Altani and the Mongols, you mean you’d create a Mongol Empire in her shoes, or you’d do her? *rofl*

Kirsch27 – That’d be a mean trick I’ve never done before. Oh wait… Basil at Jerusalem, Thomas I at Kirkuk, Thomas II at Neapolis…

As for Thomas, he’s safe from Gabriel at least. As previously established, Gabriel sincerely loves his brother and thinks that Thomas is being used by Albrecht. If Gabriel were to seize power in Konstantinopolis, he’d likely offer Thomas the one thing the younger Emperor wants—a chance to retire and focus on nothing but architecture…

Oh Niko… that brings up memories for me! :)

As for the sword. Partly it was a red herring for all of you, partly its because it comes back later in the story… :)

Deamon – Crazy Mongols? Where? As for Alexios, we shall see shortly, my friend…

armoristan – You are also forgetting:

Evangelos, brother of the Megas
Romanos Komnenos, son of the Megas

Both of them went insane long before the current spate of Thomases…

As for Alexios - *Hug*

Ksim3000 – There’s an update on Thomas III coming shortly. As for Gabriel, he has a voice, but is his biggest fault insanity, or simply being an arrogant prat who is full of himself and overestimates his abilities? And, is the latter a form of insanity? Well, we shall soon see as things develop!

loki100 – Romanion, if it can find peace, is certainly primed for a golden age—complete control of the Black Sea, near control of the entire Med—but with ambitious/insane people at the helm, it remains to be seen if that prosperity will come to pass a la the Capri scenario…

Leviathan07 – There have been half decent people between Basil and Alexios… Alexios’ namesake and Basil’s grandson, for one. Thomas II before he went utterly insane. Georgios Donauri after he was named King of Arabia…

von Sachsen – A Gabriel-Altani line is probably not going to happen at this point, if only because one, Altani genuinely loves her husband, and two, I would think the two wouldn’t be mutually compatible. Both want to be in charge, both are self-focused, and Gabriel is selfish. They’d kill each other in the bedroom sooner than making babies. That said, stranger things have happened… ;)

The_Archduke – It’s safe to say at this point that somewhere along the line, the genetics of the Thomasine line have trended towards madness… for the sake of Romanion, either the madness needs to peeter out, or a new line come to the throne…

asd21593 – You are the resident cheerleader for chaos and mayhem. I love it! :)

Hawkeye1489 – Well, since GRRM is one of my heroes in terms of writing (and guts in terms of killing characters who need to die for the sake of story, regardless of whether they are loved or not), it shouldn’t be surprising I built Alexios up and just as quickly tore him down. Or did I? ;)

Tommy4ever – Now will William Shakespeare write a classic tragedy on Gabriel’s life? As for the Mongols it does make sense for Gabby… It’s rather obvious that the Great Khan would like to return to the “Persian problem” once his own house is in order. While not use Altani as a way to create a distraction, and stall the inevitable?

Fulcrmvale – Altani distracting the Mongols is a classic Byzantine move—using someone with a claim to the throne of a neighbor to cause trouble and keep the neighbor busy. As for Alexios, Adrianos was already pretty much in Nikephoros’ camp, if not Albrecht’s, which means he was an opponent to begin with. Alexios’ wife is Nikephoros’ sister, so once again, she’s already opposed to Gabriel. The opposition was already rather unified against him, so in his mind, he eliminated a young, popular rival with little change to the constellation arrayed against him. Now, whether his analysis is RIGHT or not…

Nehekara – Too late! As said above, Gabriel wouldn’t really usurp Thomas—as long as he was allowed to still be in charge of construction, Thomas would eagerly hand over the diadem… he doesn’t want anything to do with being an emperor, really. As for Gabby versus Nikephoros, that’d be a tougher matchup. In earlier days, a fully focused Eastern Empire could have taken out the West. But now the West has Italy and North Africa, the staging grounds the East would have used earlier, and the West is richer than before and far stronger.

Nikolai – Alexios, we hardly knew ye?

4th Dimension – Gabriel’s ambition is definitely starting to become detrimental, insane or not…

Qorten – Gabriel definitely isn’t likeable now. He was forward thinking and likeable as a youth, but continued success as only fed his ego…

RGB – Dune? Where? We already had the Kwitzsach Haderach and Feyd Rautha long long ago… Maybe there’s a Baron Harkonnen somewhere? Lord knows there’s no Leto I Atreides in this family!
 
hmmmmm.........just a long shot, but maybe Nikephros will use Gabriel to take out two birds with one stone.

He will support Gabriel to take out Thomas, and then turn on Gabriel himself.


All just a theory, but having Spanish Kommeneid rulers would be f*cking awesome, especially considering that their line seems to be fairly mentally stable (at least compared to the current line). :cool:
 
I'm wondering if Thomas's real problem is that he was essentially raised by clerics and as a result has an outsized religious mania. I suspect that Thomas III would have been happiest if he had been allowed to go to a monastery and focus on architecture. Certainly his behaviour towards his wife indicates a religious mania which regards sexual activity of any sort as sinful enough to damn his immortal soul. Potentially nasty stuff, as Frederica has discovered.
 
amoristan - The love of Alexios DID seem rather sudden, but I think alot of it had to do with the fact that he was down-to-earth, sane, and vulnerable, as opposed to the megalomaniacs and plotters we've been dealing with lately... he had alot of the same qualities that drew people to Basil, I think.

Vesimir - Gabriel's got four boys and two girls... the oldest boys are Nikephoros and Alexandros, while I don't know the younger two or the girls off the top of my head...

Sled Dog - Thomas III would have loved nothing more than to sit at home in retirement, fiddle with drawings and go to Church. He only consented to the diadem after Albrecht went to great lengths to get the Patriarch to persuade the young man that taking the crown was his Godly Duty, and to do otherwise would be sinful.

Kirsch27 - A little craziness makes the world interesting!

humancalculator - They're descended from Basil too, but yeah, so far at least they've had two strong, sane emperors and one weak emperor (more from health than lack of sanity)...

Well, I haven't made any progress on the update yet (Master of Orion called, and stole my time!), but I do have a little tidbit to hold you all over for a while. Sometime a while back someone asked what was the state of various cultures in the Empire. Well, here's a map!


culturemap2copy.png

The first thing of note on this map is how homogenous it is. The bulk of the Empire proper is either Roman (Greek, in CK), or Arabic. Now CK doesn't make any distinction between various Arabic cultures like EU3 does, so its safe to assume the "Arabs" of Mauretania are actually Berbers, who are culturallly different from those of Egypt, Syria, etc.

Roman culture for the most part has expanded in three directions--eastward, taking most of Armenia and Azeribijian, southward, overrunning most of Syria, and southwestward to Sicily and southern Italy. Outposts of Roman culture exist in the large cities of Egypt and the Mahgreb, with the notable exception of Cairo.

Spain itself is a hodgepodge. The north of Spain is broken into four distinct Latin cultures--Portuguese, Castilian, Basque and Catalan, the remnants of the four great Latin principalities that once ruled the area. In the south, there are spots of Roman culture amidst the Arabic Sea, though I have added one thing--Andalusian, which in this contexts means the new "Spanish" melding of Arabic and Roman culture that has been going on in Spain since Alexios I. I guesstimated what provinces were likely Andalusian and colored them separately from their Arabic brothers.

Italy is almost solidly Italian save the southern part of the boot, while in the Balkans, Roman culture has completely overwhelmed Bulgarian, Serbian, or Montenegrin. Pockets of South Slavic remain in Croatia, but its safe to assume these will soon be disappearing as well.

Interestingly enough, the Pechenegs still maintain a tiny enclave in the region of Wallachia, but its safe to assume this will disappear soon as well. Roman culture has also made inroads in the transPontic, with only two small areas of Russian as well as a smattering of Cuman left as well. The Caucasus, as usual, are a mess, with enclaves of Georgian, Cuman and Alan bumping up against larger enclaves of Turkish left near the Caspian coast. The Armenian culture meanwhile looks to be headed the way of Bulgarian, with only one tiny section remaining.

Persian, obviously, dominates Persia, while the remains of the Turkish Sultanate, along with the Caspian enclaves, are all that remains of the once awesome Turkish culture in the Middle East...
 
There isn't even a single Arabian state left, is there? The Byzantines conquered every last Arabic nation. That's some achievement. Their culture ought to meld with the Roman culture pretty quickly, since they don't have any real nation of their own. Unless it becomes super distinct but tiny, like Jewish Culture in renaissance Germany or something... Mmm matze...
 
Nice update! I love to see roman culture so far spread, but I was wondering how you are gonna represent that in EU3? Are you just gonna make the whole area greek? Or were you maybe planning to merge the south slavic and byzantine culture groups? Also are there still jews in the turkish enclave north of the caspian?
 
CK culture is meant to represent the culture of the cities and the nobility, i.e. those who give you trouble if you are from a different culture. And it does not model things like the aristocracy of Armenia or Georgia being deeply rooted in their culture yet perfectly bilingual in their own language as well as in Greek.

So there is some leeway in how you convert those provinces into EU3... turning them all Greek might do injustice to the cultural heterogeneity of the Empire, on the other hand they have been under the Greek Empire's thumb for 100s of years and would be well assimilated at this point. Maybe not convert them all as Greek, but include the cultures in a "Byzantine" or "Romaion-Imperial" culture group?

For CK game purposes, those cultures can "die out" even if in real history they would just be very well integrated. The Byzantine empire never actually had an ethnically defined identity - they had a religiously defined identity, meaning that as long as you were a Christian who accepted the Orthodox creed and obeyed the Emperor, you were considered a good Imperial subject just like the average Joe from Constantinople or Nicaea. I think in real history, the peoples of eastern Anatolia and the Caucasus would still all speak their own languages and feel distinct from the Hellenized peoples of the coastal areas and the cities. There would be little assimilation pressure due to there being a lot lower population density outside the cities, and the general remoteness of the area. A lot less assimilation pressure than in densely settled, geographically open western and central Europe, certainly.

However their princes and the higher clergy would be the ones feeling assimilation pressure... they're the ones who have to deal with the Empire and its haughty representatives on a daily basis, and who want to gain influence and preserve their power by intermingling with the people calling the shots at the Imperial Center. They would be fluent in Greek, and make sure to dress after the latest fashion from Constaninopolis lest they be ridiculed as provincials.

The empire never demanded from its subjects that they should speak Greek. (Although of course the administration was conducted in this language only.) They didn't care if your Church services were held in Armenian, Italian or Arabic, as long as you followed the correct creed and paid your taxes. You could say the Orthodox church was much more visual oriented than textual oriented... the language of the icons was (and still is) understandable to anyone who believes in the bible, regardless of his ethnicity.

The Ottomans also never demanded that people adopt Turkish as their language... to get ahead in the Ottoman Empire, you just had to become a Muslim and obey the Sultan.

This may all change once literacy reaches the common folk, Byzantium may be in for a cultural revolution (or several of them, actually) if it gets a proper reformation going.
 
@Leviathan07 - Also Orthodox church never had problem with people translating Bible and services into their own native languages. In fact, it more or less encouraged people to translate religious texts, so that non Greek people could understand them.
 
Roman culture group! With divisions to Greek, Egyptian, etc.

Well historically the Semitic peoples never actually integrated with the Hellenic peoples. Neither under 200+ of years of Hellenic rule under Ptolemids or Seleukids nor under 700 years of Roman rule. The biggest headache for generations of emperors in the 4th-7th centuries was that no matter what they tried, the people of Egypt and Syria kept manifesting their separateness from the Hellenic world... they learned (some) Koine Greek but they never accepted the religious or cultural ideas of the Hellenic world. Arianism, Monophysitism, Iconoclasm - all those weird ideas that kept popping up again and again in Egypt and Syria, so difficult to understand for Greek or Latin people, they always gave those people a reason to say "The Hellenes are wrong, they just don't get it, they don't understand Christianity like we do, we are different."

The Orthodox church knew this, one reason they were so o.k. with people setting up complete church hierarchies in their own languages was that they knew they could not force those culturally self-conscious peoples under a Greek-dominated hierarchy. Armenia, Egypt, Syria, Mesopotamia etc. were urban civilizations, with their own cultural codes, very different from the forests and swamps of Gaul and Germania where you had to teach people the Latin alphabet along with the sermons because they had no written culture of their own.

It would be very weird if the Comnenids and their religiously disinterested emperors managed to culturally unite worlds which stubbornly resisted unification thoughout the millennia. In my view, Christianized Egypt and Syria could spawn their own culture group and their rulers might be Greeks but the provinces would never actually become Hellenized or Greek. They should always be kind of uneasy under Imperial rule, with their anti-Greek separatism being sometimes dormant, sometimes openly hostile. If they were so Hellenized, Gabriel wouldn't have needed to visit mosques and talk to Ulema so often in order to get support for his campaigns, would he?
 
@Leviathan07 - Also Orthodox church never had problem with people translating Bible and services into their own native languages. In fact, it more or less encouraged people to translate religious texts, so that non Greek people could understand them.
I think it has more to do with the historic background of the spread of Catholic Christianity vs. Orthodox Christianity.

The Catholic church never had a problem with translation of the bible or holding sermons in the language of the land. Missionaries were always among the first to learn the languages of newly discovered peoples, be it in Africa, the Americas, Asia or Oceania.

When the Bulgars, Serbs or Russians converted they could hardly be forced to speak Greek in church. The priests sent to teach them the gospel had to learn their languages.

The Franks, Goths, Burgondians, Jutes and Angles on the other hand already ruled over Latin-speaking peoples. And when their kings converted they learned the language of the Latin-speaking priests, rather than the other way around. Later converts to Catholic Christianity like the Saxons, Wends, Aztecs, Incas or Maya were not so fortunate to convert on equal terms at all, most of their kings converted only when the henchmen started to twist the garotte around their necks.

If General_BT's Romans go a-crusading, they will probably turn out just as intolerant as the historical conquistadors, and there will be no talk of autocephalous Mayan or Suaheli churches :eek:o