The AARlander Issue #1: July 2007

[anonymous4401]

Cover by canonized

Editor-in-Chief: anonymous4401
Assistant Editor: canonized
Columnists: phargle, Estonianzulu
Contributing Writers: anthonyp, Cyrus_The_Great, EvilSanta, Quirinus308, TeeWee, Tribolute, Vincent Julien, Volga, VonTrapp

CRUSADER KINGS
History: Saladin: Warrior, King, Man of God by Volga                                     Post 2
Inside Phargle's Head: The Lousy Man Theory of History by phargle                        Post 3
Classic Review: The Tower of Fear by anonymous4401                                       Post 4
EUROPA UNIVERSALIS
The Evolution: Genesis by Estonianzulu                                                   Post 5
Review: Golden Horde: Scourge from the East by anthonyp                                  Post 6
Review: Timelines: What if Spain Failed to Control the World? by anonymous4401           Post 7
VICTORIA
History: The Scramble for Africa in the 1880 Scenario by Quirinus308                     Post 8
History: The Battle of Gallipoli by Cyrus_The_Great                                      Post 9
Classic Review: Three Comedies One Review by anonymous4401                               Post 10
HEARTS OF IRON
Classic Review: The United States: 'Advantages without Obligations' by Vincent Julien    Post 11
History: Giovanni Messe by VonTrapp                                                      Post 12
AARLAND
AAR Writing: A mediocre guide for a better AAR by Tribolute                              Post 12
AAR Writing: Santas Seven Simple S:s to Successful Songwriting in Seconds by EvilSanta   Post 13
AAR Writing: On big events and limited POVs by TeeWee                                    Post 14
You've Been Canonized!: anonymous4401 by canonized                                       Post 15

Welcome to the AARlander!
by anonymous4401

Welcome, welcome, to the first-ever edition of The AARlander, AARland's premier monthly periodical! We have a great many articles for you this month in this, our flagship issue!

To start off with we have a look into the life of Saladin by Volga. Then we get a glimpse of the undoubtedly crazy happenings that must be happening inside phargle's head as he shares with us his theory on the historicity of Crusader Kings. Next we have Estonianzulu, an AARland old-timer, telling us just how life was like in the land of AARs way back at the turn of the millenium, when EUI did not need a I after it and dinosaurs still roamed the earth. After that we have two reviews, one of the EU2 AAR Golden Horde: Scourge of the East reviewed by anthonyp and one of the EU3 AAR Timelines: What If Spain Failed To Control The World? reviewed by myself. After that we take a look into Victoria, where Quirinus308 will tell us about the Scramble of Africa and why it's important, and Cyrus_The_Great will enlighten us about the Battle of Gallipolli. I, too, will enlighten you, about several Victoria comedies of the past. As we move on to the WWII era, Vincent Julien will give a splendid review of Mettermrck's Advantages Without Obligations, and VonTrapp will regale us with the life and times of Giovanni Messe. Then Tribolute will give us his tips on writing a successful AAR, and EvilSanta will share with us the secrets behind his specialty: The MusicAAR. L. Then TeeWee will share his thoughts on how to express big events in your AAR through the eyes of the little people, and the issue will then be capped off with an interview of myself by AARland's premier interviewer: canonized.

All in all an exciting issue and hopefully the first of many to come!

And remember, the AARlander always, ALWAYS needs writers for next month's issue! If you can write an article or pay somebody to do it for you, please PM me with your article idea so I can approve it! Heck, you don't even have to wait for approval to start writing, that's just so that we don't end up with two people reviewing the same AAR! So go. We need writers. Please please please please please please write something for us. Please.

[anonymous4401]

Saladin: Warrior, King, Man of God

by Volga


Saladin

Most people probably don’t know who this man is unless they are astute in history, studied the Crusades, or know much about the past of the Middle East, which is truly a shame because someone of such greatness should be known through out the world, not just the Muslim world or those who enjoy history.

Born in Century 1138 to a devout Kurdish family he went to Damascus to study and complete his education. There he became astute in Sunni theology and learned quite a lot about warfare from his uncle, who he served under fighting ageist Egypt, were the Fatimid caliphate ruled. After years of warfare ageist the Fatimid’s in Egypt he was able to earn a decisive victory ageist, effectively defeating the faction in charge of the country and taking its place.

His early life is not what most people remember him for, but his constant struggle with the Crusader Kingdoms, especially the Latin Kingdom of Jerusalem, which was lost by the Muslims some years earlier. Officially his uncle ruled Egypt as a part of the Seljuk’s, but his death in 1174 prompted Saladin to take charge for himself and establish the Ayyubid dynasty in Egypt and the conquered territories of his empire.

His Imperialistic apatite soon spilled over with conquest of several tribes and insignificant peoples along the Red Sea, all the way to Yemen, this campaign would bring him into possession of the most holiest city of Islam, Mecca. Aside from his initial conquests he was brought into conflict with the Latin Kingdom of Jerusalem, who insisted on making incursions on Egyptian lands. Both these times Saladin was unable to defeat the attackers and was forced to retreat, though that would eventually become the least of his worries, to say the least. The two nations were close to coming into all out war when the King of Jerusalem died, leaving his successor, a mere boy, in charge who died soon after.

Taking advantage of this brief halt in hostilities he rebuilt his army and marched on Damascus where he welcomed as a hero. Saladin would then consolidate his holding in Syria, gaining control of the country before incorporating it into his empire and then turning to fulfill the long awaited dream of taking back all of the Holy Land from the Crusader squatters.

This is what he was most remembered for, returning the Holy land to the Muslims. Now that we know the military and conqueror side of him, lets focus on the moral side of him. Saladin was extremely religious and honorable, this most visibly seen when he would go into battle and, win or lose, say it was gods will. The army would stop to pray when the time called for it, making him one of the most religiously devout Muslims to date.

When besieging Jerusalem he came to an agreement with the defenders to allow them all to leave safely for a price, be it man, women or child. Here he even ignored his own decree and allowed many Christian’s to pass without paying the set amount of money required in the treaty.

Saladin also shared a unique relationship with King Richard “The Lion Heart”, one of respect. One report would state that Richard fell off his horse during battle (a story we all probably know from the Crusades) and Saladin ordered another one to be sent to him. The two would, even after the war, keep a respectful and unique relationship, sending gifts to each other. This only adds to the character of a great man who was considered to be one of the most chivalrous knights of all, even in Europe.

All of this would combined to make Saladin one of the most revered, at least by me, and influential men in the middle east and medieval period, even today in the turmoil many Islamic groups look to him for inspiration.

[anonymous4401]

Inside Phargle’s Head: The Lousy Man Theory of History

by phargle

Welcome to the first installment of Inside Phargle’s Head. This will hopefully be a regular column on some of the Paradoxy things percolating inside what passes for my brain. The wasteland of my mind is a weird and Carrollian place, but I’ll be trying to present you with something a little more than moist, collegiate naval-gazing; anonymous4401 won’t pay me otherwise for these adventures down the rabbit hole. He won’t pay me anyway, but I can dream. My dreams include fast cars, young women, and this:

The Big Four games of the Paradox family are first and foremost games about history. Each covers a different timeframe from the Crusades to the dropping of the atom bomb, and, in doing so, each embraces a different aspect of the way history is made. Victoria says history is made by the mercantilist; Hearts of Iron, by the soldier. Europe Universalis sees history as a steady march towards inescapable events; Crusader Kings, as impacted by individuals. In all four cases, the irony is how much the role of the player contrasts with the way history is portrayed. The mercantilist aspect of Victoria is important because it lets you wage war, while the soldiers of Hearts of Iron would not have guns or tanks without an economy backing them up. Europa’s events can be navigated like rocks in a stream, with the water before and after the obstacle being the same – and, in Crusader Kings, the tide of history as represented by the player matters far more than the prowess of the individual kings, who themselves make a gentle mockery of the Great Man theory of history. I’m first and foremost a fan of Crusader Kings, and it presents the most dramatic contrast in how the player (and the game!) ironically contradicts the lessons the game is attempting to make. Crusader Kings will therefore be the focus of this article.

The Great Man theory says that history is guided by the decisions of important individuals. It disagrees with the notion that some things (the Renaissance, WWII, the Reformation) were unavoidable; when the Reformation happened, it wasn’t just church-reforming time – it happened because Martin Luther happened.

This is an attitude embraced by design in Crusader Kings. Scripted events are far and few in between, and include Crusades which can be ignored, Mongols which can be defeated by chance or by plan, and a Black Death that only proves the point; when a fantastic king gets offed by the plague, the player sees the impact (often dramatically). Furthermore, the individuals who populate Crusader Kings affect the game far more than individuals in other Paradox games. Rulers in Europa can be managed and, in Hearts of Iron, replaced. They don't even exist in Victoria. Not so with Crusader Kings. In this game, rulers matter.

It’s here where things get fun, because they only matter so much. See, it often doesn’t make a big difference when Crusader Kings gives you a great ruler to play. Between being able to pick and breed decent advisors and being limited in how many troops can be produced, a great king can be pretty indistinguishable from a good one, or even an average one. When money and army sizes stop mattering later in the game, the question over whether a ruler with a stewardship of 15 is better than one with a stewardship of 6 can become almost academic. A great ruler is just as good as one that isn’t bad.

A truly bad ruler, on the other hand. . .

Crusader Kings has a whole host of ways in which a ruler can be a disaster. He could be excommunicated. He could be a heretic. He could be a kin-slayer. These are avoidable situations, but even a careful player will eventually find themselves with a ruler with a diplomacy of zero or a badboy rating that’s just a little too high for vassals to tolerate. And all of these traits result in the same thing – the rebellion spiral of death, where you’re forced to either let all your vassals go in an attempt to ride the mess out, or you conquer them back and piss off even more people.

The Lousy Man theory therefore explains the course of history through the impact of terrible rulers. Events don’t happen because of the inescapable time of history. They happen because some idiot pissed off the Duke of York by pushing his mother down the stairs.

Crusader Kings makes rulers matter most when they are at their worst, and this perhaps calls to mind some of the more pathetic stories in the annals of real history. For example, democracy didn’t germinate in England because of the greatness of some liberal baron. It happened because King John was a really, really bad king. Crusader Kings makes things happen the same way. You can have rebellions of all sizes led by idiots or by geniuses, and it won’t matter in the slightest until your king sleeps with his mother and gives birth to a baby with a hair lip. If we go back to real history, we see that some historians have said that the British Empire did not command the finest infantry in the world. It was just that the rest of the world had really bad soldiers. Crusader Kings agrees, and proves how much badness leads to greatness.

There’s a final irony in all of this, and that’s how much bad kings really don’t matter after all. History in Crusader Kings might be occasionally interrupted by an inbred lout with the diplomatic finesse of a rhinoceros, but it’s always marching forward. Good, bad or (frequently) ugly, the individual rulers matter not compared to the progress of history as represented by the player. That history is an inexorable force. If a player wants a massive empire, he’ll get a massive empire no matter who winds up as his ruler. If a player wants to win the Crusades, that is going to happen too, no matter whether he gets to play with military heroes or cowardly numbskulls. Crusader Kings applies a microscope to the foibles and failings of thousands of rulers, but in the end the only way for any of them to make a difference is to be an individual of awful significance; in a game where the bad are great, one must be a bad king for the ages for the ages to even notice. In the end, the only guy who matters is the inbred, murderous retard with a penchant for farting on the pope.

And that’s why Crusader Kings is so funny, so poignant, and so contradictory. Did you enjoy your first foray inside my head? I hope you took your shoes off before you came in, and I’ll look forward to seeing you next time.

[anonymous4401]

The Tower of Fear

by anonymous4401

Those new to AARland may not know this but back in the first half of the Year of Our Lord Two Thousand and Six there was an AAR by the name of The Tower of Fear that, despite the existence of the CK giants of Knud Knytling and The Machiavellian Adventures of Princess Eleanor at the time, managed to take home both the Favorite AAR, CK and the Favorite Narrative AAR, CK for two quarters in a row. This was because The Tower of Fear was a giant, though not in quantity and readership. It was a giant of quality, which it had in spades, and I do not hesitate to count it as one of the best AARs in Crusader Kings and indeed one of the best AARs in the entire forums.

The Tower of Fear begins with a picturesque description of the town of Alba Iulia in the County of Fehér where most of the AAR takes place. Prominent in this is a tower of basalt and octagonalness, whose origins cannot be traced to any known civilization that have made their mark in the region. It is the eponymous Tower of Fear, whose eerie depiction is a most fitting start to this AAR. For the genre of this AAR is one that is tried rarely and even rarer pulled off: It is a horror story that truly scares.

The prologue to this AAR takes place in Roman times, back when the region was called Dacia Superior. The IV Legion Flavia Felix is chasing the barbarian general Decebalus, who like in our history was a Dacian king who rebelled against the Romans. Unlike our history, Decebalus and his men hole up in a mysterious tower in the town of Apulon, which will become Alba Iulia in the future, to await a siege by the Romans. Or so they think. The Romans discover to their horror that this is not so, and Decebalus had gathered all of the townsfolk, old and young and male and female alike, and slaughtered them,his men, and finally himself in a bloody massacre. The legion's legate, Servius Flavius Cornelius, is horrified, viewing it to be senselessly brutal even for a desperate barbarian king.

The story then goes forward in time to the present-day of the 1066 scenario in Crusader Kings as newly-minted Count Máté Ákos prepares to leave off to rule the newly-created county of Fehér. But once he arrives it quickly becomes clear to the count that not all is as it seems. For one, just what is with that mysterious tower that the townsfolk refuse to associate themselves with? And to who, or what, do those piercing red eyes that his daughter sees in her nightmares belong? Yet these mysteries and troubles are only the beginning, and they will be for not only Count Máté but his descendants also to solve. For the senseless slaughter that Decebalus had engineered in the tower a thousand years before was not nearly as senseless as it seemed on the surface. It was in fact very calculated, and necessary, for it took more than a trivial token of blood to keep away the greater horrors that lurked beyond the tower. And the blood of the village itself all those centuries ago was sufficient only to keep it for a thousand years, and the end of those thousand years is quickly approaching.

And into this Lovecraft-inspired setting are placed the characters of the count's family, the town's priest's family, and the generation that comes after them. They each deal with the supernatural events that surround them in their own way, with varying degrees of knowledge of just what is happening. Each character is masterfully crafted, with distinct personalities that evolve with the events that come. Through maladies and madnesses, invasions and tragedies, the characters persevere, and we get to know well our protagonists as they struggle against the horrors, as well as the overarching deadline, written in blood, that is always ticking down.

Now I am not a reader of Lovecraft's works, so I do not know how many or to what degree of the horrors in this AAR were adapted from his works. But what I do know is that MacRaith has succeeded very well in making them work. The reaction that one gets in reading the descriptions is almost visceral, and is made even more so in the context of them happening to the deeply-drawn characters that one comes to know and love. You really care about what happens to the protagonists, and each step forward is a joy and each step back is a loss. And as befits a horror, there are none of the former that lack elements of the latter.

Sadly, this AAR, this masterpiece, is an unfinished one. On May 12, 2006, MacRaith posted what is up to this day the latest chapter of The Tower of Fear. On May 31, he apologized for the delay, and promised an update soon. It's been over a year, and though MacRaith has apparently logged into the forums judging by his profile information, he has given us no news about this beauty of an AAR. Most readers, naturally, have given up hope for another update, considering that it has been more than a year already. But I'm still waiting, and hoping. The countdown was only eleven years away when this AAR's heart stopped beating. So close, yet so far away.

Please, do yourself a favor and read this AAR. There are only seventeen chapters, and not all of them are long. And they will be worth reading.

[anonymous4401]

The Evolution: Genesis

by Estonianzulu

“Today is a happy day, or people are rejoicing in the streets. Our monarch, His Majesty Johan Cicero I, Elecktor of Prussia, has announced a royal marriage with our neighbor to the north, and soon followed by an alliance, the Teutonic Order! Times look good for our great nation with a high economy, blossoming trade and many neighboring potential allies”

-Estonianzulu 04-09-01

It is an interesting perspective. Back in September of 2001, almost 6 years ago, I joined the forum and wrote my first AAR. Things were different then. EU-2 was only a hope, Victoria was just an Empress and the search engine was our friend. But one thing that has remained from those days is the AAR. Europa Universalis 1 existed before the epics, before the sweeping essays on the evolution of an alternative history. It was a time of simple, one-post AARs, and strange posts about how things went in last night’s game as Austria. To read them now is almost useless, especially since so few of us play EU1 anymore. But without the contributions of these early AARs, today’s AARland would not exist.

First off, a disclaimer. The examination of these styles is not meant to be a criticism. I’ve managed to write AAR’s in most every style imagined, and read even more than that. This is merely an examination of those styles and how they evolved into what exists today.

~~
The Early Days

At first, the After Action Report was just that, a report of the action after it happened. These AARs were the foundations of what would one day be called a “timeline” AAR. They were the basic meat and bones of the game. Often entire centuries would be included in a single post. Specifics, reasoning and story were not important to these writers. At the time it was about the game. People played the game and wanted to share their experiences to other likeminded individuals. In the early days, back before the first mods, players would be limited to only a handful of nations. AARs allowed players to see how other players handled those few nations.

These first AAR’s tended to have a few commonalities, some have made it into AARs still today. For example, many of theses AARs were told in a first person perspective, from the view of the player. Sweden does not convert to Protestant, “I” converted Sweden to Protestant. This takes the reader out of the past and into the realm of the computer game. We do not read a story about the history of the Protestant church in Sweden, but instead a story of how this player managed to make Sweden Protestant. That is not to say we don’t understand how it happened, but we get the technical “gamey” side of the event, rather than some imagined transpiring of events.

The 1st person perspective is also omniscient, though typically reported in a limit perspective. Let us stick with our Swedish conversion example. The writer will inform the reader that he converted to Protestant, and the success of his conversion attempts. Although the User knows how the expansion of Islam into Central Europe is going, he wont mention it because it is outside of his limited perspective. This leaves a lot of the world in the dark. From this discrepancy in knowledge comes the age old question “can we get a screen shot of ____?” We’ve all seen that question, and it was first asked in the dark days of the EU1 AAR. Typically the writer does in fact have an immediate answer, as the gamer was aware of the rest of his visible world while he played the game.

The technicalities of the AARs expressed themselves in numerous ways. One involves numbers. Often, in modern AARs, you see numbers expressed in vague ways. 3,000 infantry isn’t always just 3,000 infantry. Early AAR’s went the polar opposite. It wasn’t just 3,000 infantry; it was an Army (3/0/0). You didn’t just send merchants, you sent 3 merchants for 15 gold. It was almost a technical guide to replay. Many of theses AARs were not stories as much as teaching aids, numbers and instructions included. You went to the AARs and you learned how to play, and how the game engine worked. It was from AARs that many learned how Bad Boy worked. Colonial frustrations and failed wars were shared experiences for many, and seeing AARs written about failures helped others learn to overcome them. This was the time when the AAR was an extension of the game, things have changed.

How did these AARs shape our current AARland? Simple, without the experiences of these early writers, we would not have our concept of the AAR. The Paradox universe has the most richly developed fan fiction section of any computer game I’ve ever seen. The knowledge contained in the multitude of AARs on the boards could fill libraries. But to this day we see AARs that are just game play AARs. Sure, they are far more complex, but they evolved from those early days. Likewise, without Timeline AARs, would we have History Book AARs? Without people who tried to tell the story of their games, none of the wonderful works that exist in AARland today would be around.

Now an AAR is an entity within itself. AARs like Coz1’s Into the West or Yogi’s Fu Manchu Stories or Amric’s Byzantine’s Khan are hardly about the game play at all. They are stories, whose impetus emerged from the Paradox games. These novel like AARs are a far cry from the new-thread update AARs of Sapura or JP back in the dim ages of AAR land. In fact even the game play and history book AARs have changed a great deal from the early days. For example nalivayko’s The Lords of the Horizons is a history book AAR. But compare that to RGB’s A YeAAR's Education. Both are excellent AARs, but the evolution of a history book can clearly be seen. Once an AAR of that quality would have been the rarest of the rare, now they are more and more regularly seen.

It warms my heart to see EU1 AARs still being written, but before long the forum will fade into the past and the works within will be forgotten. And why not? The game has come so far since those dark and early days. But it is always important to remember those AARs. Without the seemingly Spartan story telling of the early AARs, the rich and colorful world we have today would not exist. People need to learn how to play before they can. Early AARs taught them just that. But early AARs did one other thing. After I wrote my first AAR it was hardly worthy of note. My grammar was worse than it is now (and it’s hardly perfect to this day!) and my spelling was atrocious. Nevertheless, Vulture, Hjarg, ShrineGuard, Sharur, Honour_Shogun, Storey, and emperor dennis read it, responded and encouraged me. Without them I would not be here. And without that community, which has developed into what it is today, none of us would be here.

Like a fine wine, AARland has grown better with age. It emerged from the dark and damp waters of EU1, only to grow legs and wings and sour into the heady heights of EU3. Who knows where it will be tomorrow.

[anonymous4401]

Golden Horde: Scourge from the East

by anthonyp

In Golden Horde - Scourge From the East, Duke of Wellington plays a challenging nation with many revolt events under EU 2's AGCEEP events mod. After many bad events which normally reduce an AI Golden Horde to splinter states, the Duke had no more rulers and no good events to look forward to. To fix this he created more rulers and a lot more revolts, keeping the story and the gameplay behind it interesting far beyond the historical demise of the Horde. His story was of a savage horde plagued by many rebels and an unstable country where Khans always had to keep track of who might want to kill them.

His story starts off with Khan Ulugh, who finds the people of Volgorad are rebelling after a comet shines brightly in the night sky. Ulugh’s army defeated the rebels but an internal coup gave Dawlat Berdi control. With the army in Dawlat’s hands, Ulugh fled the country after a very brief reign. This cycle of revolt, unrest and violent succession is the basic way of life for the Golden Horde in Duke of Wellington’s AAR.

The khans of the Golden Horde fear both their own people and also foreigners and so try to conquer the outsider and suppress the internal dissidents. A common trick of Horde armies is to retreat in winter and allow the enemies to invade and perish. Duke of Wellington does not let his own armies stay in enemy lands in winter, sticking to summer invasions, while the AI countries enjoy winter campaigns and suffer for it. But the main challenge in the 1400s for Duke of Wellington was surviving the multitude of revolts which spread across the country and threatened to take it over. After AGCEEP’s events for the Horde ended, Duke focused on creating interesting leaders and new custom events and conquering local enemies.


The Reckep

Beyond the gameplay, Duke of Wellington fills in many details regarding revolts, holidays, khans and their violent deaths and the way the Horde relates to its neighbors. Duke’s golden horde is a highly xenophobic nation that sees Christian nations as pathetic and unworthy of consideration. Although the original mongols were a pagan people, in EU 2's time period the Golden Horde has become a Muslim nation, although its clear Duke’s horde (especially their leaders) are not always respectful of every tenant of Islam. The horde’s allies are almost always Muslim nations of the east. Their sometime enemy, but most frequent ally, is the Ottoman Empire, which drags the Horde into Western wars with Poland, Austria, and Venice. This irritated many khans, who didn’t have right of passage that far west until much later in the story.

One of the unique aspects of Duke of Wellington’s Golden Horde is their increasing hatred of the Uzbeks as the story progresses. Though exactly when the Uzbeks became hated is hard to say, they caused much trouble with the Horde before they were finally conquered, and over time they became the scapegoat of most rebellions and revolts. In a clever reference to the fact that Duke’s khans are in an AAR, Duke tells us that one khan demanded that Uzbek be written without the capital U. Some viewers of Duke’s aar fought for Uzbek rights and continued to use the capital U, while others cheered on the Uzbek hunting. Eventually the Uzbeks were sent to the Americas and declared their independence, creating a new Uzbekistan, so to speak. They even won a war against Denmark, which infuriated the Horde.

Golden Horde - Scourge of the East is partially a parody of war, conquest and barbarity in history and more specifically in AARs. Duke uses the fact that many stories gloss over the devastation of war and the brutal everyday life of citizens, by showing us the deaths that result from such decisions as ending a revolt. We find out that rebellious peasants are executed, and that succession from one ruler to the next is not a peaceful matter, but a matter of brutality and deceit. Much like the Roman Empire, the power of the Golden Horde appeals to many who seek to depose the current ruler and become khan. The Romans had their arenas, while the Horde has Buzkashi (a sport of goats and horses) and sporting events that involve hunting down or mocking Uzbeks. Despite these attempts to control the populace, both Romans and the Horde had problems with uprisings.


Buzkashi

Duke of Wellington also uses disguised modern references to give his story a sense of the bizarre. His Golden Horde has Berker Khan restaurant franchises scattered through the land. Berkher Khan (referring to Burger King) provides food for the hungry horsemen of the Golden Horde’s vast plains. Berker Khan even provides funding for military campaigns and in exchange, the restaurant chain’s insignia is flown in place of the Horde’s flag. When a separatist group splits off from the Golden Horde and calls themselves the Blue Horde, Duke tells us of the rise of a competing chain restaurant: Karagand’s Finest Cuisine (KFC). All these references allow Duke of Wellington to parody fast food and corporate power as well as the main themes of the AAR.


The Golden Horde, Sponsored by Berkher Khan

Duke’s most effective storytelling may be in his events and his pictures. Both are carefully crafted to tell the story. The custom events he wrote for the Horde are far more than simply gameplay options presented to readers. In the text descriptions of each event and the choices available, he tells us why the people of the horde are rebelling. Uzbeks rebel because the Horde is weak or in trouble, giving them the best chance of avoiding the crushing hoofs of the army. Core provinces rebel when a leader shows signs of weakness, or when old traditions are broken by a new khan. Christian provinces resist religious intolerance and oppression, and these are some of the largest uprisings among the many that have plagued Duke’s nation.

Duke of Wellington’s pictures tell us where and what is happening. A map of the horde with Berker Khan logos placed on it shows us where stores are at. The Reckep, a group of five ruling generals, are portrayed in a group photograph. Each general is doing something different or posed differently to give us an idea who they are and how they differ. A piece of cloth with a fish drawn on it is captioned, “A representation of Chigakka’s personality”. But beyond the creative and clever pictures, drawings and photographs that show us something about who the horde is, the Duke also uses realm wide maps of the Golden Horde to give us a snapshot of the growing Horde. Sometimes he modifies them, titling each neighbor things like scum, or Pretend Tatars, or Farce (for Fars).


A gift basket from Yulbaris

Almost a part of the story in its own right, forum members have commented on the Golden Horde from the beginning. From supporting enemies of the Horde to cheering on the nation’s savagery, viewers have entered the alternate reality of Scourge from the East. The debate that raged over “uzbek vs. Uzbek” shows that some even obeyed the fictional khan who called for lower case. Now the most viewed EU 2 AAR, Golden Horde - Scourge from the East has even seen guest authors, with a few of the most frequent posters getting a chance to write their own chapter. Forum members Fnuco, Fingal and Billy Bob each contributed chapters.

Now on its 115th page, Golden Horde - Scourge from the East has evolved into an epic AAR of the Horde’s might, barbarism, hatred of Uzbeks, and the wars, rebellions and leaders that made the Horde so unique. Using parody, anachronisms, references, custom events and a variety of pictures, Duke of Wellington has shown us the world of the Golden Horde and its similarities and differences to other large empires of our own world. Even now, the tale of the Horde has many chapters left, so there is much left to read as the Horde grows and changes and the year draws ever closer to 1818.

[anonymous4401]

Timelines: What if Spain Failed to Control the World?

by anonymous4401

If anyone ever asks me 'What is AARland's best?', a few titles immediately spring to my mind. These are the epics, the very best that AARs can be. Grand narrative tales that sweep the world and span hundreds of pages, whose quality in writing is unmatched. I already consider Timelines: What if Spain Failed to Control the World? to be one of these epics, but I believe that it can go even further. I believe that one day, it could actually be the epic, that stands out even in a field that is already extraordinary. But I suppose I'm getting ahead of myself here.

Timelines begins, unlike most AARs, in modern-day Santa Ana, California, but it is not the modern-day Santa Ana California that we know and presumably love. This becomes clear to the reader through the eyes of protagonist and student Tom Royce, who is worried about how his latest history paper, If the French had defeated the Empire at Perpignan, would be received. For it is an imagining of an alternate history where the empire of Spain fails to not only become a globe-spanning empire that controls the world, but even to become a regional power in a community of nearly two hundred nations. And who could imagine such a ludicrous thing?

The narrative then shifts to the sixteenth century. More specifically, at the time of the Battle of Perpignan. There the reader gets their first glimpse of how the sixteenth-century Spain of Timelines operates, and might even find it familiar. We see the Silent Room, where generals and cardinals argue as reports of events from around the empire come in and orders to the very same flow out, and aides are constantly erasing and redrawing borders and troop positions on the centerpiece of the room: A gigantic and ornately painted map of the world. It is a clever interpretation of what the game interface must look like if it existed in the real world, and is the first of many clever interpretations of the game's aspects in the story. Though it is easy to get lost in the rich narrative of Timelines, the astute reader will be able to recognize the game aspects behind it woven flawlessly into it, and will be unable to help but smile.

The narrative of Timelines is actually twofold. The first has so far been mostly set in the late sixteenth century, and follows the adventures of the agents of a Spanish Empire that is on its way to dominating the world. However this is not a domination that is driven merely by simple greed and expansionism. In one of the most intriguing aspects of Timelines, the reason that the Spanish are conquering from Istanbul to Guangzhou is to secure the mysterious Timepieces and their five Keys. It is unknown to the readers so far exactly what the Timepieces and Keys are, but what is known that they are artifacts of great, world-changing power, and can be very dangerous in the wrong hands. Thus there is much exciting intrigue surrounding these artifacts and the stewardships thereof, and it provides a sturdy frame upon which canonized hangs an epic tale. A tale that extends to the second storyline set in the modern day, following not only Tom Royce but also the descendants of many of the characters from the sixteenth century, as intrigue surrounding the Timepieces and Keys surfaces once more in the modern day. This twofold nature of Timelines is something that I have found unique in AARland and expertly handled by canonized, as the two storylines run in parallel: long-term consequences of the actions of his sixteenth century characters are seen in Tom's modern-day world, and the epic's themes are felt even across the narrative divide of centuries.

And that is not even getting to the nature of the narrative itself! canonized has shown within this one AAR an impressive range and talent of writing. Whether it's dashing adventure or mysterious intrigue or even romance, canonized has written it and written it well. His characters and plots have great depth, and despite the serious nature of the narrative he still manages to sneak in a ton of nerdy references through the mouths of his unwitting protagonists. I actually don't have very much tolerance at all for such things, which only speaks all the more to canonized's abilities.

So in Timelines we do have the ingredients for an epic tale, and it is in fact already an epic tale, weighing in at nearly fifty chapters so far. And these are not small chapters either, but robust, hearty chapters that leave you feeling full! So going back to the first paragraph of this review, just what gives it that extra push to be extraordinary in an already-extraordinary field?

Firstly, Timelines is not just the epic narrative. It is in fact a multi-media experience, and among the first of its kind. Bonus materials abound, whether it be character profiles, images that help illustrate the tale, or even a guest movie by thrashing mad depicting a battle in the AAR through the medium of Medieval: Total War. And that is not even getting to the You've Been Canonized! feature, which is most definitely the first of its kind, in which canonized interviews members of the AARland community that read his AAR to a depth that rivals just about any interview made for the Advocate or the Gazette.

Secondly, Timelines is actually canonized's first AAR. And it is more than merely his first AAR. He began writing it before he even read any AAR anywhere. Before I read Prufrock's To Stand Against The Night I had no idea you could tell the tale of a Swedish historical video game through a masterly multi-character epic. canonized not only came up with this idea independently, but also actually went through with it, and began writing an epic whose quality matched those of the old classics from the very beginning! And he has kept updating his AAR continuously from day one, his quality not faltering even a bit. Now that's drive!

And thirdly, Timelines will be epic not only in nature, but in length. Well it's already epic in length at hundreds of pages in Word but it's going to be even more epiccer than that. Think of it as the Der Ring des Nibelungen of AARs. All four parts. Except even longer than that. Out of the near-fifty updates in the AAR so far, more than forty of them focus on just three years of time. Now before you get worried canonized has said that he plans to write in the manner of focusing on a few years per 'generation' of characters, so we won't see three thousand chapters of Timelines by the time the game ends. But even so, that's a lot of chapters! And what's more, canonized has also said that he will continue this saga through Vicky and HOI2 when it is done! And with what I've seen of his work ethic so far, I have absolutely no reason to not believe that three years from now, canonized will be writing Timelines 3: Timelines With A Vengeance, a trail of awards and accolades collected over the years of continuous writing behind him. And at that point, what AAR, what series of AARs, can compete?

If I rated AARs on a five-star basis, I would need more than five stars for this AAR. I cannot recommend reading this AAR enough. Even if you don't know what a EU3 is you should be reading this AAR for the story alone. Yes, it's long, and has a lot of words. But the quality of those words is among the best you will ever see on this forum. Just keep reading it. Print it out and read it during your office breaks. It will be worth it.

[anonymous4401]

The Scramble for Africa in the 1880 Scenario

by Quirinus308

The Victoria AARland section of the Paradox Forums has often and correctly been referred to as the forgotten forum. This is due to numerous factors (none of which are all that important to this article), but if Victoria is the forgotten forum, then 1880 is the forgotten scenario.

There are numerous fascinating aspects of this time frame and the purpose of this article is to highlight some of the many events that took place in the period from 1880 to the start of the Great War. These events provided the backdrop for the start of the war, and thus provide a rich tapestry upon which to weave an infinite number of AARs . Unfortunately time restraints will not allow a thorough examination of such topics as the collapse of the Ottomans in the Balkans, or the rise of Japan in the east, so it becomes necessary to focus on one key area. That focus will be upon the “Scramble for Africa”.

One of the advantages of playing the 1880 scenario is its ability to model the historical “Scramble for Africa” accurately. In a typical Grand Campaign game, the British are the first to finish industrializing and gain an overwhelming advantage in the colonizing of Africa. This is not entirely inaccurate, however. The advantage which the British usually gain, and the time period in which it usually occurs, are flawed to a point that only the British, French and Prussians are able to do anything in Africa. This precludes any involvement by the Spanish, Belgians, and Italians, nor the further development of Portuguese Angola and Mozambique. The 1880 scenario by contrast reflects the fact that the British (among others) had already begun the colonization process, but leaves a wider door for the other powers to participate in the process. This of course provides more opportunities for the potential writer to explore in his or her AAR.

Cecil Rhodes, founder of the De Beers Mining Company, showing the British desire to span the continent

The actual “scramble” occurred via three primary forms. The first was through the planting of claims in unorganized regions. As was mentioned before, the 1880 scenario models this better than the grand campaign due to the fact that by 1880 most of the great powers who will be participating in the scramble have already industrialized, and can pour more of their respective resources in the planting of claim buildings. In game terms this creates a fascinating chess match as players vie to complete control of a state and cut off opponents from reaching the next state. Following this there is still greater writing opportunities as the negotiations phase begins with the great powers trying to reconcile the various and conflicting claims found all over Africa.

The second form came in the wars fought between the great powers. While historically this only occurred between Italy and the Ottoman Empire, the opportunities abound. Who’s to say that following the Spanish-American War that the Americans couldn’t end up with a claim on Rio de Oro. And while only one war was fought by the great powers, there were numerous crises that could have easily spilled over into war. Among these were:
The Congo: Contested by both the French and Belgians, it witnessed numerous atrocities by the Belgians against the local population in their efforts to subdue and claim the land.
Morocco: Desired and claimed by the French and Spanish, while the Germans opposed them (simply because they could) and, in doing so, eventually gained territorial concessions from the French in Equatorial Africa.
Egypt: A series of financial crises forced the British to move in and occupy Egypt. This met with opposition from the French (who also had a financial interest in Egypt) and the Ottomans (who for some reason considered Egypt their satellite). This actually led to several shooting incidents in and around the Sudan.
These are just a few, and certainly the game provides the opportunity for others to develop, which it then becomes the author’s opportunity/obligation to write about.

Lastly there were wars against the pre-existing nations of the continent. This provides some of the best material, as often the Europeans assumed victory simply because they were European, and failed to grasp how strongly the local population felt about their freedom. The most famous example came from the two Boer wars that saw the mighty British Empire struggle against a vastly outnumbered foe. Less famous however, but even more intriguing is the First Italo-Ethiopian War, which saw the Italians humiliated at the hands of the Ethiopians and brought down the government of Francesco Crispi. The Italians signed a treaty that was designed to save face, but much like the Russo-Japanese War, it showed that simply being European hardly guaranteed victory.

These all provide unlimited opportunities for even a novice writer to explore, but the 1880 scenario is not limited solely to the historical path. There is for instance no reason why the Japanese could not at least attempt its own land grab in Madagascar for instance, or the development of American interest in and around Liberia. And for the truly adventurous, there could be Ottoman or Persian expansion into Zanzibar. The opportunities are truly limitless.

[anonymous4401]

The Battle of Gallipoli

by Cyrus_The_Great

The idea of an amphibious landing at Gallipoli began as a French idea to take the Narrows, the mouth of the Dardanelles. The idea, adopted by Winston Churchill, who was at the time First Lord of the Admiralty, was put into action on March 18, 1915. The advance, consisting of twelve British and four French ships, as well as minesweepers and flotillas of cruisers and destroyers, began with the ships lined in three columns, all three of which were abreast.

Hopes were high as the armada was making great progress, but these hopes soon diminished. In the mid-afternoon, the French battleship Bouvet, slowing to allow the minesweepers to retain their frontal position, suffered an internal explosion and sunk. The civilian operated minesweepers, amidst the chaos, soon fell back and out of position, and the ship Irresistible, maneuvering to avoid the jumble, soon became damaged as it fell out of line.

By the evening, Ocean and Irresistible had met the fate of the Bouvet, and six other ships were out of action or suffering from damage. The once grand armada was forced to turn around, and the mines and shore batteries were still perfectly preserved.

It was soon concluded that an amphibious assault would need to be commenced if the straits were to be secured.

The plan was largely improvised, as the location and numbers of the enemy would need to be guessed. Much of the peninsula was lined with steep cliffs, and only a small area of beach could be considered. Feint attacks were to be made at Kum Kale and Bulair, respectively to the south and north. The 29th division would land at Cape Helles, and ANZAC, the Australian and New Zealand Army Corps, were to land a few miles north of Cape Helles.

On April 25, two hundred merchant ships supported by naval bombardment, all under the flagship Queen Elizabeth, approached the peninsula. Troop carriers were to release lines of row boats called tows, which would bring the troops to shore. The one specialized landing ship, River Clyde, was to land at the southern tip of the peninsula.

An error caused ANZAC troops to land too far to the north, in an area marked by steep cliffs, but they were able to climb unopposed by Turks, who had not suspected a landing at a place of such rigid terrain. To the south near Cape Helles, almost no resistance had been made to the landing, while just down the coast, the Lancashire Fusiliers, Munsters, Dublins and Hampshires were having a horrible time with the Turks. At these beaches, barbed wire lined right up against the sea. Still, some Lancashire Fusiliers found a way around. With about half of their forces dead, they still managed to push inland. The Dublin Fusiliers, who thought they were unopposed, were only to meet bullet fire right as they landed. The Hampshires and Munster Fusiliers were met with machine gun fire as they tried to find a way out of their ship, and almost all were mowed down, although some were able to hide under the lip of the beach, and then drive the Turks back.

The Turkish officer Mustapha Kemal provided a horrible time for the Australians, who he had been counter-attacking throughout the whole night once they gained ground. Although most of the time he was losing ground, these counter-attacks were to continue until the very last day of the campaign.

By May, both sides had suffered greatly, with the Turks losing fourteen thousand men, and ANZAC nearly ten thousand. Yet the advance continued, and soon the fortress of Sedd el-Barh was captured and an advance continued. Two assaults were made to reach their objective Krithia, four miles inland, both of which failed. And throughout a scorching summer and an early winter, the British line remained just short of Krithia. Reinforcements came, but to no real effect, and Kemal held back a fresh British Amphibious invasion to the north.

It became apparent that the allies would not be making much progress, and that the fruits of victory would not over ride what would be needed for success. Reluctantly, the allies withdrew, and by January 9 the campaign was over. It had failed to bring relief to Serbia, encourage Greece to join the allies and also failed to keep Bulgaria from joining the Central Powers, but is still remembered as one of the greatest amphibious assaults of the first world war.

Today the once war-torn area is a national park in Turkey, and many monuments mark what happened there almost one century ago.

[anonymous4401]

Three Comedies One Review
by anonymous4401

After a long day of catching up on some sweat-stained masterpiece of an epic AAR sometimes you just want to sit back, unwind, and read something lighthearted that does not require so much investment in to appreciate. And what is more lighthearted than a comedy AAR? Say, one where the zombified corpse of Napoleon Bonaparte terrorizes France, Europe, and the world?

Thus we come to the first of this three-part review: HannibalBarca's The Rise of Zombie Napoleon: An Undead AAR!. Inspired by an actual in-game event that could be interpreted as an undead Emperor returning victoriously to France, if one were to ignore the event text that clarifies that it is his not-undead not-moving corpse that is actually returning, HannibalBarca paints a rather different world from our own in which a brain-hungry Emperor manages to convert the population of France into mind-slaves and seeks to conquer the world a second time. Absurd, is it not? Well, that's only the beginning! For in what is almost a Mutually-Assured-Destruction-cycle of absurdity the nations of the world seek to find their own answer to the Zombie Napoleon, and pretty soon he is joined by the likes of a Cyborg Zombie Genghis Khan, the ghost of Leonardo Da Vinci, and the Six Million Pound Sterling Bionic Duke of Wellington. It is an enjoyable tale, and like many of its kind, is quite unfinished. The last update was posted on September 23, 2006, and worst of all it ends on a cliffhanger, just as Zombie Napoleon was about to have a rematch with the Bionic Wellington.

The second part of this review will be about the obscure classic, Take London - A Swiss AAR by Haba. The premise is quite simple, with Switzerland and its eccentric ministers taking the long-term goal of annexing the province of London into Switzerland. Of course London is the capital province of the British Empire, and as all Vicky players know, the British Empire is the superpower of the Victorian Age. It is not an easy task ahead of them. But they go ahead anyways, planning merrily, their first plan being simply to attack the British Isles head on with everything that they have and hoping for the best. Their second plan is to turn Switzerland into a technological and industrial giant, and use economic superiority and expansionism elsewhere to prepare for the ultimate battle with Great Britain. Wisely they go with the second plan.

And thus Take London ventures into a picture-heavy, and humor-heavy, romp across the world, as the Swiss annex a lot of places that are not London near and far. Haba showcases his ability to use basic graphics manipulation programs well, as shiny maps and animated ship battles abound. Sadly due to the vagaries of time I fear that some of the pictures have become missing, which is quite a shame for an AAR that relied a lot on its edited pictures for humor. Thankfully the picture in which the ministers voted on who to attack next in 1881, which was the picture that I laughed at the hardest, is still intact.

Take London is actually a very short AAR, with an update count that barely made it into the double-digits. And so it should really cost nothing for you to check it out.

Our third and final review is one that had attracted quite a following in its time on the forum. It is what I presume to be the start of Rocketman's masterwork, the Bavarian Mega-Campaign, the start of which is I'm Going Slightly Mad - A Bavarian AAR, where King Ludwig and his sock puppet dream of a greater Bavaria. Here you will not find comedy in prose, or in screenshots scrawled over in MSPaint. The format of I'm Going Slightly Mad is actually very similar to that of a very concise gameplay AAR, listing events of each year by date. That is where the similarity ends, however, as the comments that Rocketman makes after some of these events really make the humor of the AAR, whether it be from the point of view of him the player or a reaction line or two from one or two of his characters. In fact what makes I'm Going Slightly Mad so enjoyable is that one gets two full AARs from it: You get a full gameplay AAR from nearly every gameplay event being logged, and you get a quality comedy AAR with some of the lines being downright hilarious. And though the AAR ends after only six pages the story of King Ludwig does not end with it. In keeping with its humorous fashion, King Ludwig travels back in time, continuing this megacampaign of sorts through Crusader Kings, Europa Universalis II, and Victoria again. Sadly, Rocketman was banned for some reason, and we may never get to hear the end of this strange tale.

And though from this review it seems that the Victoria forum has a strong tradition of comedy AARs, if it ever did that tradition is a dying one today. I can count the number of currently-running Victoria comedies with one hand, after having half of the fingers on that hand chopped off. Or maybe more fingers than that, I don't know. It's a sad state to see. So why not remedy that? Take inspiration from these AARs of the past. If anything, they have shown that your AAR need not be long or complicated to be successful and funny. Go carve your name among the stars, and who knows? A year from now I might do this article again, and it might be your AAR that is featured and fondly remembered.

[anonymous4401]

The United States: 'Advantages without Obligations'

by Vincent Julien

While Yogi’s ‘Iron Crosses’ first got me interested in AARs, and is certainly the first I ever really read thoroughly, ‘Advantages’ was the one that really dragged me in by the waistline and has kept me there ever since. So forgive me if what follows tends to be a bit sentimental, even a wee bit gushy. My impartiality is perhaps further constrained by the fact that I regularly work (If folksy PM’s regarding the future direction of the plot of ‘Eagles of Avalon’ and regarding my own modest guest slots in that AAR really merits the term ‘work’) with Mett on things up to this day. He is without a doubt the nicest person I’ve ever met online; I don’t believe I’ve ever seen him make an intemperate, self-absorbed, inconsiderate, aggressive or rude post in the entirety of the time he’s been posting. As I said, gushy.

But this goes some of the way to explaining why Advantages was a success when it was written. Mett has always seriously entertained the views of his readers, something which is now increasingly commonplace amongst serious writers but which I am sure older writers and readers will testify has not always been so. I remember personally, during ‘Advantages‘, bringing up the issue of how the Papacy would operate with a Communist Italy on it’s doorstep, which Mett thanked me for bringing up and directly addressed in the next update. It’s an approach which seldom fails to draw readers in and feel valued, and is a signal lesson to other writers. Perhaps you would say that this has little to do with the quality of the AAR in question, although I would dispute that. Perhaps in retrospect this is not a factor, but when you are reading an active, ongoing AAR, it is very much decisive in terms of how much you enjoy the AAR; it might not automatically make it a classic, but it makes for an eminently readable and engaging AAR when it is in production. It is something which is lost in hindsight but should not be taken away from an AAR after it’s completion.

But let’s focus for now on the content. The basic premise of ‘Advantages’, for the uninitiated, is the defeat of FDR in the 1936 US Presidential election and the Presidency of Alf Landon. I daresay that it’s not a spoiler to expand on this, considering Mett gives a brief overview of the course of the AAR in his signature promotion; Landon eventually gives way to Charles Lindbergh in 1940, leading to a kind of Conservative FDR, and US isolationism has a consequent effect upon Europe. I am not entirely sure how plausible or not that seems in such a brief outline, but let me say that there was never a moment, either in retrospect or at the time, where I thought ‘this is going a little wacko’, which I am sure spoils an AAR or an alternate history timeline for you as much as it does for me. Mett ensures Landon’s victory and Lindbergh’s 1940 win with a corrupt ‘Big Oil’ cartel somewhat similar to the forces at work in Oliver Stones’ JFK, which I am sure seems fairly implausible when it‘s stated like that, but which is presented in such a tidy and clever fashion that it becomes highly acceptable - indeed, became so realistic to be actually objectionable for many, including the semi-famous outpourings of La France Libre, a poster now sadly seemingly no longer with us, who took just about every opportunity to launch vituperative attacks on Lindbergh, Landon, and all the rest. It’s a rare and exceptional AAR which actually inspires political passion and serious debate in people. If the summoning of Mr Dolman - the referenced representative of this conspiracy in the AAR - is an example of a little bit of Deus Ex Machina then it is the only major one in the story, and Mett seems to have been quite content to let things flow naturally from there. Indeed, one of the great aspects of Advantages is how the plot develops. Mett has stated that he did not have any plans for the AAR when he started it, other than Landon would win in 1936. I believe this may be responsible for not only Mett’s basic enthusiasm for the AAR itself (He regularly updated every day or other day on occasions, a pace which I find breathtaking) but for the ease and natural fashion in which things develop; and, more than that, the extent to which the plot leaves you guessing, because you often have the sense - which I am sure is often accurate - that the author does not entirely know which direction the piece will travel himself. Your predictive ability is limited, even if you know the essential outline of the plot beforehand. There is an awful lot to be said for this approach as a writer, not just for readers, but for your own satisfaction as well. Of course, it may not work for all; but it is certainly a successful strategy for some.

The fundamental quality never seems to waver. Mett managed two remarkable things, which is to say, he made his updates astonishingly brief (I did a little check for this review, and they are typically around a thousand words, sometimes much less than that) but also to simultaneously convey such a polished and historically literate piece. This never ceases to amaze me. I am sure if I ever tried it myself, it would just seem cheap and convey the impression that I had bungled an update together the night before with only partial enthusiasm. That is never the case with ‘Advantages’. It is, once again, a great lesson in how to produce a good or even great AAR without having to go to extremes in terms of either the amount of content or the graphical presentation. Keep it neat, polished, and don’t over-exert yourself. It is easy to outline but harder to accomplish.

If there are any negatives to ‘Advantages’ then these are few. There is the occasional nagging factual mistake or oversight, but these are so small that you would have to be an extreme pedant to care or even notice them. More serious is the lack of expansion in certain areas, where perhaps you would wish for a little more information or attention, but to tie this I with the point above, the brevity is all part of the appeal and what makes the whole so successful. Although, clearly, some would have wished the epilogue to be expanded, it is a remarkable achievement in itself, and even the fact of it existing - the very fact that the AAR was brought to it’s conclusion, takes it into a very select group, certainly amongst ‘serious’ History book AAR’s. Although that’s applicable to the work as a whole. I think that Advantages is genuinely one of the best History book AAR’s produced here and you should check it out now if you aren’t acquainted with it. But forget the PDF version and read it in it’s original, thread-based form, as I am sure God intended it - it’s a much more insightful and enjoyable experience, and it’s certainly a work which deserves to be savoured. So snatch yourself a beverage and/or smoking materials, and prepare yourself for pure alt-history delight.

[anonymous4401]

Giovanni Messe
by VonTrapp

As time goes on World War II fades further and further from view. A conflict that occurred generations ago is slowly being forgotten. Lost into the bland textbooks at our schools, which barely scratches the surface of one of the most famous conflicts in our combined histories. Newer generations never get to learn about the great leaders of World War II. They will never hear how Mainstein changed the course of the war by convincing Germany’s leaders to attack France through the Ardennes. They will never hear about the tango in the desert between Rommel and Montgomery. Men like Eisenhower and Patton will be nothing more than myths, surrounded by mystery. Guederrian, few will ever hear about him and his exploits on the Eastern Front. Sure there are groups who will never forget. Members of forums like these that will always stand up to the challenge of learning and passing on the knowledge to others. It is my hope that I may be able to join in this sharing of information with a little something of my own. So that I may not be apart of the problem, but the solution. This small article is dedicated to a man who very few speak of. Giovanni Messe, Field Marshall of Italy.

We all know that Messe is that Skill level 4 General in Hearts of Iron 2. One of the few Generals serviceable in the Italian war effort. I myself became interested in this man shortly after I joined this board and started my first AAR. When I sent him to the front in the 1941 scenario I began to wonder who this man really was. I thought for the interest of my own story line I would research my commander in order to discover more about him. I hope to now pass along what little information to all those who take the time to read this article. In the hope that this man forgotten by history might be remembered by those outside of Italy.

Giovanni Messe was born on December 10, 1883 near the city of Brindisi. In 1901 he joined the army and served with distinction in both Libya and the Italian front during World War I. After the war he took the post of Aide-de-camp to King Victor Emmanuel III. In 1935 he assumed command of a motorized brigade and served in the second Italo-Abyssinian war. He would not see action again until 1940.

When Italy invaded Greece during the harvest season of 1940 she was ill prepared for the war. Italian field commanders protested the rushed assembly of the troops involved and lack of planning for the invasion. Mussolini ignored their warnings that any attack would fail and declared war on October 28. Italy gained little early and was eventually thrown back into Albania in a series of embarrassing defeats. Forcing Germany to intervene in the theater in order to bail out her “junior member.” General Messe, who commanded a corps in the campaign, gained some successes in the initial attacks. However Poor preparation by the Italians ultimately ended his part of the campaign as he joined his comrades in retreat.

After Greece was subdued with help by Germany Messe was appointed to command of the CSIR. Italian troops in Russia. Initial only 60,000 men it would swell to as high as 200,000 men in later stages of the war. A lack of heavy equipment hindered the CSIR’s effectiveness in numerous engagements. Most famous for their desperate fighting during Operation Uranus (Russia’s attempt to encircle the German 6th Army in Stalingrad.) Messe at that point was transferred from the Eastern Front to Tunsia.

General Messe took over for Rommel who was promoted command of Heersgruppe Afrika. Due to poor health Messe was forced to take secret command of all Axis troops in Africa. In what was already a doomed cause Messe fought a series of brilliant stalling actions until finally surrendering with his German counterparts on May 13, 1943. I day after being promoted to the rank of Field Marshall. He would go on to be the Chief of Staff to the Royal Italian Army from 1943-1945. After the war he would serve as a senator from 1953-1955 before retiring from politics for good. He died on December 19, 1968 at the age of 85. He died a hero in his own country, but an unknown almost everywhere else.

[anonymous4401]

Santas Seven Simple S:s to Successful Songwriting in Seconds

by EvilSanta

Ever felt that your AAR could use some rocking and swinging? Ever wanted to add a bit of energy to your updates? The answer can be relyricing a song to tell a story. Follow these seven simple points and your audience will be jumping up from their old computer chairs into wild dancing in no time!

1. Subject

First thing that needs to be done is to choose a subject for your new update. The thing to remember is to keep your theme quite narrow; there is only so much one song can tell. The subject could be death of an advisor or three, it could be your new war. It can be anything as long as you keep the content in reasonable size.

I will pick the Hundred Years War between English and the French as a subject for my example.

2. Screenshots

Quite self-explanatory: while playing you take screenshots that contain information about the events that are related to subject you chose. Your screenshots should be reasonably small and only contain the vital information. The way you include the screenshots in your update is up to you. You can add them all to beginning, you can add them to end or you can add them in between the verses. Also, leaving the screenshots completely out is a completely viable course of action but then you should give a little explanation to your readAARs about what is going on in the song.

3. Song

Now that you have picked yourself a theme and have a nasty stockpile of screenshots, you will naturally have to choose that which tune you will exploit for your own shady purposes. The main point in choosing a song is the refrain. Your update lives and dies with it. Refrain should always contain the main idea of your update and if you find it nearly impossible to use the refrain of your song, even though the rest of the song fits perfectly for your purposes, pick a new song with more fitting one. Note that you can change the lyrics of the refrain during the song to fit the next screenshot better. When you have a good refrain to fit your theme, the rest of relyricing often comes easily along.

I choose everyones favourite, Johnny Cash' "Ring Of Fire" to be the tune for my little demonstration. It is a very simple song to relyric and perfect to show things in practise. Lets look at the refrain of the song.

I fell in to a burning ring of fire
I went down,down,down
And the flames went higher
And it burns,burns,burns
The ring of fire
The ring of fire

As we see, there are only 2 rhyming words to worry about. The repetitive words can offer a bit of a challenge but with my subject they won't cause me any headache. Now lets try to give this refrain a new look.

I got claim to the French kings seat
I yell war war war
Sure they'r easy, to beat
They were not not not
The war for crown
The war for crown

Note that when there is a little pause in a middle of line that can affect singing, it is good to inform people about it with a comma. In this example the comma is hardly necessary and propably makes it more difficult to sing the line but I wanted to show it with an example.

4. Structure

Now that you have all the pre-planning done, it is time to get things really rolling. Lets search the lyrics of your chosen song on the Internet and start working on them. Always try to use the same rhyme structure as the original song as it usually sounds better. The most common and easiest structure is that every second last word of a line rhymes. There are few tips I can give here. What can help with finding a rhyming word is to load up a dictionary and enter random words and see what comes up.

Here is the basic structure of "Ring Of Fire"

Love
Is a burning thing
And it makes
A fiery ring
Bound
By wild desire
I fell in to a ring of fire

Not the very basic structure but very simple one none the less. When doing your own relyrication, the underlined and bolded words are the most crucial ones. Everything else is secondary. For the rest it is enough to fit the tune.

5. String

Okay, now you have started you work on relyrication process and have few fancy rhyming words you are itching to show the world. Before you continue further into it it is wise to think how you will present your screenshots in a sensible manner, a string that has a good logic. This can prove a little tricky at first as you can run out of verses while you still have screenshots to use. First check out how many verses and refrains your song employs and then plan how much you will tell about each screenshot you have in store. It is by no means necessary to tell about each one you show in the update, though. You can even go as far as having loads of screenshots in the update but have your lyrics tell about the subject in a very abstract way that has very little or nothing to do with your screenshots. None the less, nothing is as annoying as noticing that you are lacking verses in order to end your song in a sensible manner.

In my example song I see I have quite few non-refrain verses to use so I can limit the subject to only the declaration of war and immediate action. With first verse I could tell a bit about politics and stuff that led to this event, then use the refrain I made that sums it up pretty nicely. The second verse could be about a single battle or further information about the situation. In this example it is actually advised to change the lyrics of the refrain to allow more content.

6. Sing

Now your song is ready and you are ready to let the world see it. Wait a minute before submitting it and check and double-check your new song by singing your new lyrics to the tune of your chosen song. I can’t stress this enough. You have to always check how your lyrics fit the tune.

7. Submit

Ok, you found few mistakes and words that didn’t fit to tune and fixed them and checked the fixed lyrics. Now it is time to submit your song to your AAR and let the praises pour in. Congratulate yourself and have a cold drink. You did it!

Follow these seven very simple points and you have the basics of relyricing for AAR purposes.

[anonymous4401]

On big events and limited POVs

by TeeWee

Narrative AARs with a strongly limited Point of view (POV) can contain some of the most powerful stories. A limited POV means that the narration stays close to a certain character. The writing is privy to the thoughts and emotions of the POV character, while also limited to the things the character is able to perceive and the things the character is aware of. The intent of this is that the reader will identify very strongly with the character.

A consequence of this however is that the narration cannot stray from the POV character even if the writer wants to. An example is when the writer knows that a certain important event is happening in the story world and wants to tell the reader about this. However, the chosen ensemble of POV characters doesn't allow the writer to tell the event from an eye-witness perspective. But if the writer feels the event is so important that the reader needs to be told right now, what can a writer do to tell the event anyway? This article will describe some potential solutions to this problem. It will also describe how my current AAR uses some of solutions and how they have worked for me.

The question that needs to be answered first is whether or not this really is a problem. There's a fair chance that the answer may be no. The reason the answer may be negative is that you've probably chosen your particular ensemble of POV characters with care. They are your window to the story world, so if none of your available windows are close enough to witness the event, there may be no reason to tell your readers of it yet either. This does not mean you don't do anything about the event at all as a writer. It does mean that your narration can limit itself to when the effects the event has on the characters. So don't a big diplomatic row leading to a declaration of war directly, but describe the local representative coming to draft your character into the army. Depending on your style and story, it can be good storytelling to foreshadow a bit what's coming or your reader may feel too surprised, or worse, cheated. However, if you really do feel it's necessary for !
the reader to know of the event now, what tools does a writer have?

The easiest way for the writer is to introduce a new POV character who is able to witness the event and describe the event from that perspective. To do this effectively, the writer should probably introduce the new character gradually. That means that the POV character should be introduced and used several times before and after the event. The writer probably shouldn't simply introduce the new POV at the time of the event and never use the POV again. Some readers will see this as a writer's trick. The greatest objection is that the connection with the existing POV cast is weakened. The degree in which this is a problem varies with the story. The less characters you have, the more this sticks out. In the most extreme case if you have only a single POV character, it's impossible to simply introduce a new POV character without jarring the reader out of the close relationship he has developed with the main POV character.

A second option is to move your POV character into a position so he is able to witness your important event. This allows the writer to make an eyewitness account of the event in a very natural way for the reader. This of course has the practical limitation that your POV character both has to have the means and the reason to be in the right place. Having your commoner POV character simply wander aimlessly into the King's audience chamber destroys the logic of the story world.

A third way is to have a known eyewitness recount the event to the character. A friendly but babbling prince may tell his stablehand of an incident with a local baron. Of course, this supposes access to the eyewitness for your POV character.

A fourth way is to use whatever official channels you have in your story world. It's conceivable that a town crier or a mayor announces something in an official way. Here, you need to make sure the medium is applicable. Remember that literacy can be a problem in your story world. Also remember that this is an official version, likely with a hidden agenda.

Finally, there's always hearsay. In time, rumours spread throughout the story world and will have penetrated the surroundings of the character. A friend of the character may have heard something from his cousin's friend.

Remember that information about an event that was not witnessed personally by the POV character can be false. The character however can only use his own mind and information to judge the truthfulness of a report. So he can question the official announcement if he is privy to some private information or has reason to suspect the regime, but not simply because you as a writer know it's false.

Whether or not any of the above work depends heavily on your own stories. I personally have encountered several big events. My current AAR (The PAARiahs of Europe) tells a story centered around the Hussite wars following Pavel, a simple tanner's apprentice who got swept up by the movement. For this discussion, the key element of my story is the fact that there is only a single POV character, Pavel. There are no other character's eyes I can use to view the story world. This means that the first method is something which simply cannot be used.

The first big event in my story has been the first defenestration of Prague. This was relatively easy to describe: I simply placed Pavel in a big mob and have some of the important men hold a speech explaining the importance in a demagogic manner. After that, I placed Pavel in the ragtag army centered around Jan Zizka, the most important leader at the start of the wars. This allowed me to use Pavel to witness key events or have Zizka tell the army about such an event. The latter has usually been done by some key people holding inspirational speeches to the army at opportune moments in the story.

Though on some level this works fine, it is rather unsatisfying for me. I have the feeling that I'm overusing the speech as a storytelling device. The main effect for me is that the scenes in which such things happen are a bit too similar when writing them and I imagine that they may be too similar to read as well. So right now, I'm experimenting with some other ways of telling such events. I'm trying to see if I can even use the “it's not a problem” approach and not tell of an important event until it actually impacts Pavel. It will take some time still however, because for other reasons, I want to have Pavel close to Zizka for now. Well, until the old man croaks it anyway.

I hope this short article will have helped you as a writer to form some ideas about events outside the view of your POV character. If you have more ideas, please feel free to start a discussion about this. I'm open to any new views and learn new methods. After all, the more tools a writer has in his toolbox, the more problems he can address.

[anonymous4401]

You've Been Canonized!: anonymous4401

by canonized

Hi there everyone and welcome to You’ve Been Canonized ! If you’re new to the series , I am canonized , author of Timelines: What if Spain Failed to Control the World? . As some of you might know , at Timelines we do a weekly interview segment and have been doing so since March and now we’ve been sponsored by the AARLander and have found a happy home here ! Here’s how it works: Each week we interview a friendly patron author who’s stopped by at our thread and ask them about themselves , what they think of Timelines , and their current project whether it’s an AAR , mod , or AARLand community project ! At the beginning of each new month that week’s interview will be featured on the AARLander accompanied by links and descriptions to the other three interviews done by me that month so there is lots to read if you so wish ! This week’s guest is appropriately the Editor in Chief of the new AARLander , anonymous4401 ! Let’s get to the questions .

Part I: No Longer Anonymous
Anon answers a few questions about himself .

canonized: For those of us who might not already know who you are , could you tell us how long you've been on the forum and how long you've been writing AARs ?

anonymous4401:: I have been on the forums for four long years now and have been writing AARs for three and a half years, though probably only half of that continuously.

canonized: Not only are you an established writAAR , but you're also one of the most active extra-curricular participants on the boards especially with the upcoming AARLander and of course the AARLand Choice Awards . What brought you to be so active in the community and how did you come to come up with these activities ?

anonymous4401:: Probably because I thought that if I wouldn't get recognition for my works, I'll get them as a person that says things about other people's works! Though I really do at this point think that I have made more of a positive impact on AARland through my AARland projects rather than my AARs. And I came up with them and I do them because I really do believe in AARland as a community and want to make sure that its pillars of community stand strong, even if I have to haul the marble and carve it myself. That may sound oddly sappy but that is how I really feel. That and the ulterior motives of course.

canonized: Haha; You're definitely an eccentric one , but the points on the boost to the community is well taken . What parts of the community do you believe are worth bolstering and protecting ? What is it about the AAR Community that has you doing so much for it ?

anonymous4401:: Well first of all I see a lot of very promising writers that have really researched their history and given us epic tales that would be worthy of being published if it weren't fan-fiction about a Swedish computer game. These people I want to see keep writing both for the entertainment I get from reading their works and for the improvement they'll see in their writing only if they, at the very least, keep writing. And one day I too hope to be one of these people that keep writing and get better at it. And second of all I see a unique culture that I have never found and will never find elsewhere on the internet. If you asked someone that's never seen this community and told them 'Here, write a story about your latest game' you'd probably see something like the AARs from the very early days of the EUI AAR forum. That is, a straightforward, unrefined 'I did this and that'-type report that is alien even to the most gameplay-heavy AARs of today. Occasionally you'll have someone that tries some actual writing. They stick a few characters in there like a general or a king and have them give the reports or something. But will you see a pulp tribute set in an alternate World War Two mashing together characters from dozens of period fictional works as well as historical sources? Will you see a Lovecraftian horror story set in the Middle Ages? A collection of screenshots painstakingly edited together to tell the story by itself? Sugar-addicted aliens attempting to take over the world? A fictional history book that reads exactly like a real one? People here, and only here, have turned the art of writing game fanfiction into something very interesting. And not interesting as in weird and insular and creepy like most uses of that word on the internet, but really just interesting, with a variety and vitality you just won't see anywhere else.

canonized: And what works would you say have helped solidify this opinion of the AARland as well as helped shape your own writing ?

anonymous4401:: Well with that listing I gave those who are AARland veterans should be able to pick out a few already. The first two are the Fu Manchu series by The Yogi and The Tower of Fear by MacRaith, both of which I consider to be among the best this forum has to offer. There are also AARs like The Cobras Are Smoking!, the Picture Scroll AARs in CK, Knud Knytling, Collage of CAARdinals, Peter Ebbeson's AARs and others that showed me that AARland is also quite varied and imaginative in the formats and styles they can write AARs in. And for those that have shaped my own writing, though I have read and appreciated and admired many great narrative AARs, I cannot say that they have shaped my writing, as I try to write things and they end up looking nothing like those works I admire. I might, if I decided to, sit down and be able to analyze my writing and really figure out just where my 'style', if any, comes from, but then again I might be forced to conclude that the 'style' is actually called 'bad writing' and that my life has been a LIE.

canonized: Haha , well your style indeed as a a WritAAR yourself has ranged from a ponderous evaluation of reality to slapstick surrealist comedy . How did you come to be able to create stories with this wide spectrum ?

anonymous4401:: Spectrum? Well considering that there isn't much else to work with, I suppose that you are talking about my Delusions of Grandeur II and my Secrets of the AARk. And I'd have to ask what the difference is. Narrative comedy is just that, narrative with comedy in it. If you're deficient in either the end product comes out looking terrible, and indeed a good portion of Secrets of the AARk suffers from this. Stylistically, I write Secrets of the AARk just like I would anything narrative, and if you peel away the absurd situations and the constant cutting off of sentences because I quite literally could not figure out a way to end them it readily becomes apparent. I really don't have a spectrum at all, and I can say this non-self-depreciatingly because I actually haven't even tried to write a variety of different things. Am I good at writing tearful drama? Realistic romance? Action and suspense? I honestly do not know as I have not tried to write any of them recently, but I can probably say 'Probably not'.

canonized: Last question for this section is , what kind of plans do you have for the future aside from , obviously , the continuation of the ACA and the debut of the AARlander ? What kind of changes do you also want to see in AARLand if you could implement it ?

anonymous4401:: Well a wish of mine would be some sort of AARland Wiki, which will take the strain of categorization of all of AARland's AARs off the shoulders of six LibrAARians and onto the collective shoulders of all of AARland. In fact, it would be some sort of freakish mutated Super-LibrAARy that would have way more information about each AAR than any mortal LibrAARy would, due to this division of labor. It may be a pipe dream, but there are almost seven thousand AARs out there and at least a few have enough rich story material to have a wiki about by itself, much less all of them.

Part II: ReadAARship
Anonymous tells us what he thinks about Timelines ! This section of the interview can be found at the Full Interview Post Here .

Part III: Hail to the Editor in Chief
Anonymous talks to us about being the director for the new AARLander Project !

canonized: First question is: We both know that you were a fan of the Advocate before , what would you say are the defining differences of the AARLander to anything AARland has seen before ?
anonymous4401:: I wanted to work on the Advocate but I didn't remember the deadline or something and before I knew it the Advocate was dead. The closest I came was an interview I had with Singleton Mosby in which I also went into unnecessary details and tangents while answering his questions in a sarcastic manner. And the difference between the AARlander and anything AARland has seen before is that it will be run by me, which means that for the first few months I WILL get enough articles from enough writers to make each issue a full, well-rounded one, even if I have to literally strangle it out of them, which I can't because nobody lives in Hawaii but me. And then I'll probably disappear for a few months for no reason and somebody will have to pick up the slack before I return again. That by itself is sufficient difference!

canonized: Haha , what are your hopes for the AARLander and its eventual goal ?

anonymous4401:: Just like my other project, the AARland Choice AwAARds, my goal is for it to become a self-sustaining operation that will continue to operate indefinitely even if I disappear, something that didn't happen to the Advocate and the Gazette. (Such fools, if they only knew their weakness was their writers stopping writing articles!) What I mean by this is that I want people to, every month, get used to the idea of reading articles. Of writing articles and submitting them. When people get done with reading a classic AAR, or when they notice a trend in AARland, or when they try out a new mod, I want one of the thoughts firing randomly in their heads at that moment to be considering writing an article about it in the AARlander. And then, hopefully, listen to that thought and write them.

canonized: Could you share with us some of the difficulties and challenges you've had as Editor in Chief ?

anonymous4401:: Why yes. For instance this one guy said that he'd do an article but then it turned out he got a job and then didn't have time to write one! How dare he gain employment at a critical time as this, the maiden voyage of the finest and only channel of media in AARland? And for some reason writers kept sending me their articles by PM, which really filled up my PM box fast as these articles had to be broken down into two or three PMs thanks to the character limit! Clearly what they should have done is to cipher their article into some sort of code-speak, and embed this code into one of the updates of one of their own AARs, or perhaps a comment on another AAR if they don't have one, and then just send me a PM explaining the code. That would have certainly saved me a lot of inbox space.

canonized: We already know that you've planned to draw articles and , hopefully , permanent writers from all the sub-forums of AARLand ; how is this going so far ?

anonymous4401:: Well I've actually decided that it would be a lot more sensible to just have a handful of regular, or 'permanent', writers and just make sure that each subforum gets represented in each issue. Especially as many regulars frequent multiple subforums or even all of them. So far my regular writers are the ones that expressed a desire to become one. For all I know everyone who submitted an article is an aspiring 'regular writer' but probably not. The only requirements are that you promise to deliver an article every month barring an emergency, and if you have a vacation or something notify us an issue early or something. And if you fail, the consequences will be DIRE! That's right, my opinion of you will go down!

canonized: So tell us on why you decided on the text-only format and the various images you're planning on implementing such as the cover page .

anonymous4401:: I've actually decided to allow images, though I'm still struggling with how to regulate that to make them 'fit'. It would be great if I had the time and skills to do it like Singleton Mosby did with the Advocate and make the articles static images, because then I could stick pictures with captions on there all I want and make it look pretty like it was a real magazine. But simulating magazine layout is pretty difficult using simple forumcode. And I hope to have a unique cover page for each issue though I am not too sure how that will turn out considering that I am actually not good at graphically-related things.

canonized: What would you say are the highlights that you personally enjoyed of this first issue ?

anonymous4401:: I have enjoyed the fact that a lot of writers have come forward to write quality articles for this. If I had to pick one I would say that I have especially enjoyed Estonianzulu's look into what AARland was like in its infancy, which was so far back I bet it wasn't even called 'AARland'. I wouldn't know, as I wasn't there for it, and that's why it interested me.

canonized: And lastly , what are your goals for next month's issue and what should we expect ?

anonymous4401:: My goals for next month's issue is the same as my goal for the issue before it and after it: To get as many good articles from as many people as I can! You can also expect it to be the first issue of The AARlander to carry the ACA results, if voter turnout is sufficiently high to end the vote within the month of July. Aside from that, what else can I say? It depends on YOU, AARland itself, to provide the content. So get cracking!

canonized: Well thanks again Anon for being on the show ! And thanks again to our audience who tuned in again this week ! Stay tuned next week where we’ll be interviewing our friend Legolas ! Good night , everyone . If you’re interested in the Canonization series , or interested in helping with the other Timelines projects , please feel free to contact me ! Also , please support the AARLander and talk to anonymous4401 for any questions or comments ! If you would like to read some more interviews please check out this past month’s interviews as well !

The first interview of this past month was with our good friend Karasuman and can be found here ! We discuss many cool things about his Hephthalite AAR as well as his quirky video game obsessions !

Our second interview of the past month was with our wonderful fan and friend Fiftypence and can be found here ! Fiftypence shows us the depth of his new AAR set in the Kingdom of Jerusalem and takes us into a tale of intrigue and holy war !

Our third interview of the past month was with fellow Catholic Judas Maccabeus and can be found here ! JM is the author of an Anglo-Saxon English megacampaign that is not only steeped in historical nuance but also human and realistic in its approach !

Still want to read more of my interviews ? We’ve been interviewing someone once a week since March 17 , 2007 ! Please come visit the Communion of Saints Canonization index !

[anonymous4401]

A mediocre guide for a better AAR

by Tribolute

"Who's Tribolute", I can admit it I'm not exactly the most known guy in the UnivAARse. I've written 4 HoI2/DD AARs to date, none completed, but twice it wasn't my fault. Regardless, my AARs weren't that popular, but I got better and I think I made a few people cry when my last Greek Doomsday AAR bit the dust.

The question always comes up from new writers, "How can I make my AAR more popular, more viewers, more posters". It can get quite frustrating for people who spend hours playing and making updates and feeling like nobody's reading.

So here's just a few ways to try and spice up AARs, try and get a lot more of a fanbase to it like so many popular before.

- First of all we need to make sure what kind of AAR you are attempting in the first place. Will you be having pictures, just text or a combination. There are a few classes of readers and some can't stand huge bodies of text, likewise some of the heavier readers just ignore AARs flooded with pictures. Obviously you need to find a balance. For the most part there's only two, All text but in huge narrative updates that don't usually follow the game at all, or Narrated in-game Picture books. You can't often have AARs explaining what's going on in the game without a few screenshots, or complete Scrapbooks with no captions.

- If you're going to use pictures, make your images a lot more focused and more informative. Try not to post full 5 full screenshots just for the purpose of showing 5 different IC/Prestige levels, make composites. You can do it in paint quite easily. Make relevant pictures and make sure to try and shorten them down. What i tend to do is edit these pictures in paint, save them as .bmp files and then use this program called Irfanview (which has a nifty feature to set the quality of files when you convert from .bmp) to save them as .jpg files before uploading. This way you can get the same comparable quality of a 2megabyte bitmap file to a 150kilobyte jpeg file. Likewise, if you're only centreing on a battle, you can crop it down. Nobody needs to see the log, pause button, country information, side bars, top bars in every screenshot, not to mention it makes it look a lot cleaner.

- Make sure to balance your images with writing. You can have writing in the pictures definitely but a short to medium length summary. Having only pictures can leave many readers in the dark about what exactly is different in this image and what's the emphasis. There could be several things going on and they could skip half the point. What you write... well this leads to the next point.

- Writing Style. Don't try and tell me that some people are just naturally born to write and other's aren't. It's bullshit. You learn and earn. Obviously other styles of writing might work better for you. Find the best way you feel you can communicate through the writing and utilise it. If you don't feel you write well with one style try the next. You can write in the style of a History Book looking back, a dialogue between the ministers, a first person narrative looking back, even Alien Observers from space evaluating the worth of the fighting countries. Write objectively, or as a flag wearing maniac who would only be sad after killing his enemies if the flag got blood on it. On top of that, define to yourself whether you're going to give it completely serious and objective or joke around a bit... or a lot. And don't write under any influences without reviewing it later. Inspiration you might think it, but there's a thin line between Inspiration and total crap.

- AAR Content. That is, what is your AAR about. I am going to make this quite clear. Everyone hates the sandbox AARs. Invading the USA as Canada in 1938 in HoI2 (Where the AI has about 3 divisions) doesn't usually make a well followed AAR. Likewise conquering the Asian world as Ming in EU3 etc. The best stories and the best AARs are always the underdogs. Some of the greatest AARs are triumph over adversity AARs. Awakening from the Nightmare Years, The Cobras are smoking, those two AARs became instant phenomenons, you would usually only get one update every 2 pages from all the replies. The writers were not only excellent, but both were impossible looking scenarios where they overcame the bleakest outlooks. Personally, i wouldn't worry if you don't think you're not that good a player. a) You'll learn b) The AI is always terrible c) You can always keep several save games.

- Country Selection. Not only the way you're going to play is important, but also who. Let's face it, there's been AARs of most playable countries, and while you can do another AAR as a normal Minor, "Exotic Modifications" can also attract attention. You won't necessarily need modding experience (although it helps). Obviously this isn't as easy in EU3, or necessary as there's hundreds to pick from. We're more talking HoI and to a lesser extent Victoria. Modify in a nation. Play as the Polish Rebellion in 1915, Recreate the Incan Andes in 1936. Try and back up your stories with some form of explanation... but it's not as important. Be creative, or create a new thread in the game's specific forum and steal someone elses brains for a few minutes. If you can back this up with some good writing you'll grab attention for sure.

- Try not to piss off your readers. This has to come into conflict with the above point unfortunately. Some nations will be controversial, and you will have to try and avoid nationalism wars in your thread. I hate to point fingers, but a recent AAR about a Pan-Islamic empire caught flak, not intentionally by the AAR writer but with current tensions and his writing style it did get a bit heated for some people (regrettably me included). Apart from that try to answer questions from readers. Even if that question's been asked 50000 times and was answered in the last update, humour them. If they ask something stupid that was in the last update, be nice, quote them and yourself and add a few smilies and be light-hearted. If someone flames you or your writing, be nice and reply with a little wit but no anger. The worst thing to do would be hostile, start a flame war and have your AAR locked. If anything, they might actually have a good point, even if it was hostile and try and take it into account instead of becoming too offensive.

- Most of all. Don't be bummed if people aren't replying that much. Replies are no indication of how many people are reading. People often only reply if they have a question or they're trying to give a bit of support (and some to get to 3000 posts). If you really do want an indication of how many people are reading, take a look at the views directly after you posted an update and divide it by about 2 or 3 depending if more than a few people posted. If you're updating every day... you might not get the same kind of replies as someone updating once or twice a week, because they get posts asking for updates. If people aren't really reading, don't take it as an insult. Take it as a sign you need to change something. The AARLand is your oyster, you can get pissed off and try the mallet or be patient and wait for the bastard to breathe. Only one way's gonna get you the pearl.