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Thread: And Now For Something Completely Different

  1. #41
    Chairman of this board Dysken's Avatar
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    The hungarian phrasebook sketch AND Nudge Nudge! *head explodes*

    Next one shall be Mr.Hilter! The party commands it!
    "Success seems to be connected to action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit." - Conrad Hilton

    Bring back the American Politics Megathread.

  2. #42
    General JimboIX's Avatar

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    I like how self-aware than one was. Funny stuff.

  3. #43
    Untrustworthy poo EvilSanta's Avatar
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    *In a motel in Liege*

    Landlady: *shows the motel around to Mr and Mrs Morteaux*

    And here we have Mr. Van Egmontoux. Joheau Van Egmontoux.

    Johan: 'Allo.

    Landlady: And these are his friends, Pierre Imnotdutchoux and Charles Van Liege.

    Piet and Kees: 'Allo, 'allo.

    Johan: We are planning a little hike. In Liege.

    Mr Morteaux: Then you have a wrong map Joheau, that one you have says nothing but "people of Liege, open the gates to Dutch liberators!"

    Johan: Ahh, what a stupid mistake, Pierre, my good old Liegean buddy!

    Piet: I am sorry, my Stadtholder.

    Johan: Shhhh. *slaps him*

    Landlady: Lucky Mr Morteaux pointed that out, eh? Not much hiking in occupied Liege, you would get.

    Johan: Yes...not much hiking...

    Landlady: *door is being knocked*

    Sorry, I need to get that.

    Mr Morteaux: So, are you just staying this night here?

    Johan: *draws a sword and points it towards Morteaux*

    Why would you ask that you Liegean dog! Are you a spy? You are going to die!

    Piet: No, no, my good old Liegean pal.

    Kees: I am sorry but he is a bit on edge. The war stresses him, you know.

    Mr Morteaux: I wish the war ended and the Dutch would go home already. They will never be able to breach our walls!

    Kees: Sure they won't. Luckily we are jolly good Liegeans and not Dutch scum doing undercover mission in here!

    Mr Morteaux: Lucky indeed. *laughs*

    *Landlady comes back*

    It was that nice Mr. Francois Netherlandsisnotmyhomeux. He said he has found assassins to kill the Duke.

    Johan: If that bugger can't keep his mouth shut Im going to...

    Piet: Take a walk outside, yes?

    Johan: Yes... *leaves the room*

    Landlady: Ahh, he is busy all the time.

    Mr Morteaux: Business?

    Landlady: Yes, he is planning to get elected to be the marshal of Liege.

    Mr Morteaux: Well, what does he stand for?

    Landlady: Well, first of all he wants to submit into vassalage with the Dutch.

    Mr Morteaux: Ahh, a liberal Liegean, then.

    Landlady: You should go to see him today at his rally.

    Mr Morteaux: Rally?

    Landlady: Yes, the meeting of his party "We Are Not Dutch But We Want To Be Ones"

    *At the rally*

    Johan: My people! The glorius Dutch want to help us. They want to take half of our money and the right to ask our armies to war whenever they want! In return they will protect us from the vicious enemies we don't have! What do you say, my people, should we open our gates to the Dutch and become their vassals?

    Duke of Liege: Yeah, all right.


    Was würde Brian Boitano tun?

  4. #44
    Untrustworthy poo EvilSanta's Avatar
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    Now it will be a bit odd to say "my liege", now isn't it?

    Dysken: Thank you. Thank you for giving me that great idea! I hope you also like it.

    JimboIX: Yep, the first one was largely my own sketch (as far as I know) but it was based on the sketches Python has done where the people know they are in a sketch. I find them really funny.
    Was würde Brian Boitano tun?

  5. #45
    Your Friendly Dictator Grubnessul's Avatar
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    very nice updates, keep them coming!
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    EvilSanta
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  6. #46
    General JimboIX's Avatar

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    Nice play on words, funny update. Never know where you're going next.

  7. #47
    Chairman of this board Dysken's Avatar
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    Most welcome, I did like it . Next suggestion: Bavarian restaurant.

    Here it is on Youtube, slow load though.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAaaAVJr9zg
    "Success seems to be connected to action. Successful people keep moving. They make mistakes, but they don't quit." - Conrad Hilton

    Bring back the American Politics Megathread.

  8. #48
    Rule Britannia Gigalocus's Avatar
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    ah, i love this AAR, i'd give you my baby to kiss, but you'd bite it, on the head!

    but, as a conservative, i just tend to drone on and on and on and on, and not let let anyone get a word in edges ways untill i start foaming at the mouth, and falling other backwards

  9. #49
    Non sufficit orbis Lord E's Avatar
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    Wonderful one there, so that is how you managed to get peace with Liege. Hope to see a new update soon
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  10. #50
    Quote Originally Posted by Dysken
    Most welcome, I did like it . Next suggestion: Bavarian restaurant.

    Here it is on Youtube, slow load though.
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vAaaAVJr9zg
    He hasn't reached Bavaria yet

    Maybe the dirty fork?

  11. #51
    That was quite a siege there. But some handy gains at least.

  12. #52
    Untrustworthy poo EvilSanta's Avatar
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    Narrator: This man is no ordinary man, this is Mr. Paulus Wirtz, to all appearances no different from any other law abiding citizen. But Mr. Paulus Wirtz has a secret identity. If peasants revolt, at any time, at any place, he is ready to become...the Revolt-Suppressor Man!

    *Meanwhile in Aru, in Dutch East Indies*

    The Dutch governor: We'd like to have something eat. I have heard that this is a typical Malayan restaurant with lots of local colour.

    Head waiter: Yes, this restaurant is the most traditional restaurant in Indonesia!

    The Dutch governor: I think we found what we wanted, dear.

    Wife: Wondeful!

    Head waiter: Good. Do we take your coats, sir?

    The Dutch governor: Ahh, yes please.

    *2 traditional Malayans come wearing Malayan traditional costume; only waist clothing while traditional Malayan bongo drumming sounds at the background and take the jackets in a traditional Malayan way*

    Old lady with a flower in her hat: Isn't this a racist sketch? And bongo drums? What stereotyping of a native culture! If people don't act like civilized people, it doesn't mean they play bongo drums!

    Odd Mongolian looking guy: Anyway.

    Waiters: We have taken your coats in Indonesia, yes, in Indonesia where the jungles are filled with bugs!

    Wife: Wondeful! Beautiful!

    Head waiter: And now the traditional sitting of the Dutch!

    *2 traditional Malayans come wearing Malayan traditional costume; only waist clothing while traditional Malayan bongo drumming sounds at the background and puts the Dutch sitting in a traditional Malayan way*

    Waiters: The Dutch have sitted down in Indonesia, yes, in Indonesia where the islands outnumber inhabitants!

    The Dutch governor: And now the menus.

    *2 traditional Malayans come wearing Malayan traditional costume; only waist clothing while traditional Malayan bongo drumming sounds at the background and carries a traditional Malayan menu bringer in a traditional Malayan way*

    Traditional menu bringer: *punches customers with the menu*

    The Dutch have received the menus in Indonesia, yes, in Indonesia and not in
    Malacca!

    The Dutch governor: What would you recommend?

    Head waiter: For mister I'd like to recommend punchen till nach Faze and then das throw through das window.

    The Dutch governor: Sounds amazing!

    Wife: And for me?

    Head waiter: And for the lady I would recommend Das Punch nach Face mit einem chicken.

    Wife: Wondeful!

    *And everything happens as planned*

    The Dutch governor: This is outrageous! I will totally start oppressing and exploiting the Malayan minorities which will result in a revolt next day!



    *The Revolt-Suppressor Man is doing his laundry when a small kid runs in*

    Kid: A revolt! In East Indies!

    Paulus Wirtz: *thinking* Hmmm, this sounds like a job for the Revolt-Suppressor Man. But how to change clothes and travel to Indonesia without revealing my secret identity?

    A Man: If only the Revolt-Suppressor Man was there.

    Other Man: Oh, yes.

    Paulus Wirtz: I think I know where I can find him. Look!



    Mans: Revolt-Suppressor Man! But how!?

    *The Revolt-Suppressor man takes a ship to the Dutch East Indies*

    *five months later*

    Local commander: Oh, Revolt-Suppressor Man, than goodness you've come. Look!

    *shows an army of angry traditional Malaysians wearing Malayan traditional costume; only waist clothing while traditional Malayan bongo drumming sounds at the background*

    The Revolt-Suppressor Man: *raises a finger and gets to work*





    Soldier 2: Wow, he is fightning with his own hands!



    The Revolt-Suppressor Man: Hmm, that didn't work out. Lets regroup in south
    for another battle!





    Soldier 1: See how he uses his infantry to flank their wing.



    Soldiers: Oooooohhh.





    Local commander: Oh, the Revolt-Suppressor Man, how can I ever repay you?

    The Revolt-Suppressor Man: Oh, you don't need guv, its all right. Its all in the days work for, the Revolt-Suppressor Man *snort*

    *walks to the sunset in a dramatically slow manner while some really cliche music sounds*

    Soldiers: Our hero!
    Was würde Brian Boitano tun?

  13. #53
    Untrustworthy poo EvilSanta's Avatar
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    Hmm, that was a long one.

    Grubnessul: Most certainly I will. I hope you will enjoy this also in the future.

    JimboIX: Thats a good sign then. Same thing applies when watching Monty.

    Dysken: Done. And so is my all-tiem favourite sketch, Bicycle Repair Man!

    Gigalocus: I like Van Ribbentrops comment best. It is so hilariously pathetic. I actually pity Mr Hilter in that sketch.

    Lord E: Thanks, I think that one is my favourite remade sketch this far. I think it captures the absurdity of original quite well.

    killer50: Who needs Bavaria when you have Bavarian restaurant? I can't quite recall what kind the Dirty Fork is. I know I saw it once. Id better check it out to refresh my memoris.

    Duke of Wellington: Peace was my best gain. My colonial empire was starting to revolt on daily basis so I had to make peace to regain stability. One province vassal is not really of great aid but I look forward diplo-annexing it.
    Was würde Brian Boitano tun?

  14. #54
    General JimboIX's Avatar

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    You're forcing me to go the DVD box sets. I loved the graphics..very amusing stuff, not bad at all for a Malayan revolt..

  15. #55
    Major Lützow's Avatar

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    Monty Python and EU III in a same AAR?
    Excellent!

  16. #56
    Non sufficit orbis Lord E's Avatar
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    Revolt suppressor man and the Indonesian restaurant That one was great and really funny, jolly good work!
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  17. #57
    Dirty fork. Also called restaurant sketch.

    see it here

    also, when converting. Maybe add a Spanish inquisition. Nobody expects that

  18. #58
    Your Friendly Dictator Grubnessul's Avatar
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    I did in fact expect the spanish inquisition
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  19. #59
    Excellent, that one was great. I think that Revolt Suppressor man shall have a lot of work over the years.

  20. #60
    Untrustworthy poo EvilSanta's Avatar
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    *In a marketplace somewhere*

    Merchant 1: Buy workshops! Best workshops of Europa and whole Universalis! Your neighbour already has one! If you are not satisfied, we will give you full refund during next 30 days!

    Merchant 2: Marketplaces! Marketplaces! Increase your trade goods worth and also help others! Buy marketplace and you will earn more only in 3 days without doing anything yourself! Buy a marketplace and kings will envy you!

    Merchant 3: Temples! Temples! Build temples and see a happy peasant! Temples! Already 10 sold! Can 10 people be wrong? Temples are scientifically proven 700% percent more effective than any other product on the market!
    Buy today and we give you another one for free! And that is not all, you also get this beautiful back, full set of sunglasses, a coffee mug and a belt! Only this month for the next 5 years!

    Johan: I am interested in tax assessors. Could you explain me something about them?

    Trader 1: Certainly. *krhm* Is your life boring? Meaningless? Don't you get enough revenue? Ever wanted to do something meaningful in your life? Look no further! Our Tax Assessor Ultimate Pro Revolutionizer 2000 King will solve all your problems! It will revolutionarize your life! We guarantee your satisfaction!

    Trader 2: Thats right, Trader 1! If you aren't satisfied with your Tax Assessor Ultimate Pro Revolutionizer 2000 King, you can return it and have full refund!

    Trader 1: But that will not happen, Trader 2. For you see, Tax Assessor Ultimate Pro Revolutionizer 2000 Kings revolutionary new inflation reduction system guarantees your happiness. Scientific results show that Tax Assessor Ultimate Pro Revolutionizer 2000 King is amazing 1000% more effective than anything else.

    Trader 2: Thats right and it is also extremely easy to use. No more pain, no more sweat! Let the Tax Assessor Ultimate Pro Revolutionizer 2000 King do the work for you! You can sit down and see your favourite play at the theatre!

    Trader 1: Lets hear what our customers have to say.

    Trader 2 in a disguise: Yes, it is wonderful! I used to be poor overweight cancer-patient duke of Saxony but when I bought Tax Assessor Ultimate Pro Revolutionizer 2000 King I immediatetly brought riches and success to my Duchy, gained adorable six pack and beated cancer! Women also love me now! I have tried many Tax Assessors but none has had the same amazing effect as Tax Assessor Ultimate Pro Revolutionizer 2000 King.

    Trader 1: But why is Tax Assessor Ultimate Pro Revolutionizer 2000 King so effective? I will tell you our little secret. In Tax Assessor Ultimate Pro Revolutionizer 2000 King we hire Jews to take care of your finances. This revolutionary system has proven to be superior to Italians and Leprechauns of the past!

    Old lady with a flower in her hat: Isn't this a racist sketch? Not all jews are good at finances!

    Odd Mongolian looking guy: Anyway.

    Trader 2: And that is not all! When you buy Tax Assessor Ultimate Pro Revolutionizer 2000 King during next 30 minutes, you will also get marvellous free gifts, like this book by Erasmus of Rotterdam, a tour to the court of Louis XIV and this copy of Leonardo da Vincis "Mona Lisa", total worth of amazing 30 ducats!

    Trader 1: So order now and save 30 ducats! This will be the best decision of your life and will change it to the better for good!

    Trader 2: Now lets repeat all what we said for 5 times!

    Johan: Hmmm, repetition surely does make me want to buy this product so much! And I surely can trust them, this product is after all tested by some scientific group that doesn't exist! And if I don't hurry, I will lose the amazing free goodies that have been offered for those who buy it within 30 minutes for last 5 years! And look at those traders, they have absolutely fabolous abs and muscles! I also like the pictures of body builders on the background! It also has so innovative and witty name that has being said only 30 times in a minute I just can't resist to buy it!

    I will buy a dozen!

    *A mere year later*

    Wow, my Tax Assessor Ultimate Pro Revolutionizer 2000 King came fast! I can't wait until I can change my life!




    Was würde Brian Boitano tun?

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